How painful is labour?

[MayimBialik]

I'm sure the answer will be very/extremely/agonisingly! But what is the most painful part? Is it the contractions? What do they feel like? Bad period pains but they go on for so long it gets exhausting? Or worse? Or is the most painful part the pushing? How long does that last for?

Just starting to wonder more and more about the whole thing. I'm hopefully having a waterbirth and am really looking forward to it. Im being a bit naive at the moment thinking I have a high pain threshold and always suffered from horrendous period pains so it can't be that bad....feel free to bring me back to reality!

exceptionally painful. 11 hrs altogether from waters breaking/simultaneous first contraction to holding him.

I found the last hr of contractions before pushing were so bad it was as if I left my body and went onto another plain of consciousness.

pushing was very very intense. I was in such an all-encompassing pain by the time he was crowning that I couldnt really tell what hurt any more tbh!!! i couldnt differentiate the pain of crowning with the contraction really.

DS was my first, back to back, coming out eyebrows first and 9lbs and i had no pain relief. pushed for 2.5 hours. that may be why!!! seriously, if you need pain relief - TAKE IT!!!

SuperSesame, thank you - I think surge is an excellent word for it. Its not like I felt nothing - I could feel my muscles working harder than they ever have before and it was tiring. But for me it just wasn't like pain in the conventional sense (like when you stub your toe) and that surprised me because I expected to be in agony. Instead it was manageable effort - I just followed my instinct. I absolutely refused to lie on the hospital bed, walked around and gave birth standing. And even though my baby was not alive I still experienced elation when I finally got to hold her and see her beautiful face.

I have found it managable each time, 3 induced labours two i went on my own. It isnt as bad as breaking a bone imo.
I was lucky to have short labours with no complications - so as with everything circumstances will colour your experience. My biggest advice is for as long as possible dont give in to it and by that i mean keep walking around, chatting, watching tv etc. Lie down on the bed and focus on contractions at 3cms and your fighting a losing battle :)

The only thing I would say is ... be prepared for it to be out of your control.

I´ve had 2 DDs and "easy" quick births. I went to the classes and read the books ... and then when the babies came, THEY determined whether I stood up, sat down, lay down, walked etc through the birth. I had hoped for a water birth, then when it came to it ... absolutely NO WAY was I getting in a bath ...

So be prepared to listen to your body.

Btw, I found it totally doable in terms of pain, but then I had quick births (1 and a half hours from start to finish). The physical contractions felt very much like I had had the worlds worst curry the night before ...

Good luck!

It helped me to think that the pains are muscle contractions which are doing the important job of making your muscles more relaxed so they can get the baby through. No idea if that is based on actual fact but it helped me to feel that it was 'helpful' pain.

I think the key (and it's bloody hard) is to try not to panic and let the pain take over. With DS2 the midwife saw instantly that I had begun to panic and starting to stroke my back and speak soothingly. That really helped as DH at that point had lost the plot a bit.

I always look at it this way, people go on to do it multiple times so although it's bad it's not bad enough to put them off, I will hopefully be giving dd a sibling in the next few years and the thought if those newborn days scares me more than the birth itself lol!

(hijack alert)

SpottyTeacakes, so am I the only one woman out there who was pushing for 3 hours??

Its best not to think about it too much if possible, everybodies experience is different, as is everybodies pain threshold. I was scared stiff when my labour started but found it manageable and would describe it like having food poisoning - waves of pain and then a totally uncontrolable urge to push, i was in labour for about 4 hours.

I didnt have any pain relief as it was too late when i got there and managed by breathing and an extremely helpful and positive midwife.

Enjoy your pregnancy its not the birth you need to worry about its the bit where they give you the baby and you leave the hospital without a clue thats the worst x

MeeWhoo, I pushed for 2 hours and they kept telling me that I'd have intervention if it went on longer. It was the motivation I needed to get him out!
But I think there must be a concern if it goes over that, there is a risk,not sure what though. I know my midwives were keen to finish their shift

The worst bits for me were being confined in the car for the journey to hospital (fully dilated it turned out...) and having local injected for the stitches having had no pain relief at all. That was horrible. The labour bit itself was doable - i moved around a lot which really helped relieve the pain.

I stayed at home until DH forced me into the car, I really didn't want to go anywhere and the 4 minute journey to the hospital was awful. DD was born 7 minutes after we parked the car !

It's really difficult to say how you will find things because so many things can impact the labour differently. I can only share my own experiences.

I've had two totally different births; the first was a pitocin induction after being in prelabour for about two days and ended up as a C section and the second was a natural birth that was cut and dried in six hours.

I wont sugar coat it the pain is intense once it gets going like a massive bolt / band of pain that takes over your abdomen and legs and knocks you for six coming into your whole body again and again. It's such a powerful feeling especially when the contractions come one after another without much gap!

I found in my second labour I needed to move around a lot to get through it (had epidural after 12 hrs the first time). I needed to crouch down / curl up on the floor much to my midwife disapproval I guess it wasn't so clean down there !

The things that make or break it in terms of how bad it feels are your mental state- if you panic it gets a much worse and your levels of fatigue. My first labour moved from no drugs/ to drugs and then csection cos I was just so damn tired and was getting nowhere. The gas and air is truly amazing in the first stages but be warned they may take it away when you push so you can focus better. Believe it or not I acted quite enjoyed my second labour because although it was such an intense experience i never felt afraid

Pushing is hard hard work (like a very gruelling work out) and stingy - its difficult to move around much at this point although being on your knees is much easier than lying down IMO. You may find the contractions wear off at this point and if they do that's less painful for you but at the same time it can make pushing harder and more drawn out as there is less impetus to push so it can be tricky to do.

Of course I can't tell you exactly what it's like because we have is amazing memory wipe as soon as we get our babies in our arms but it's can be wonderful and probably not as bad as you fear it will be. There are many things more painful than contractions IMO - the pain of a cramp in a leg / tooth pain / pulled muscles etc

I hope you have a wonderful birth!

The thing that helped me was counting - at the start of the contraction I'd say to myself "in 20 seconds this pain will be over" then counted slowly to 20 and felt it peak and then fall again until it was gone for a few seconds

It made me feel as though I only had to get through 20 second 'chunks' at a time which helped rather than thinking in hours/cm dilated etc

Good luck to all expectant ladies on here, it really is worth it

Hmmm, both my DDS were C sections, so no idea about the actual delivery part, but I did go into labour with DD and experienced the contractions bit which I remember as being breathtaking (and not in a good way). I remember screaming through the pain and not being in the least bit bothered about sounding like an idiot - this was something which I couldn't have imagined beforehand. It's like you just don't care. If memory serves, the contractions feel like your insides are being dragged/pulled (which they are). It is a period type pain, but waaaayy more severe.

Well it depends on so many different factors. I have friends who have had "easy" births, even "beautiful".

I didn't, but I do believe it is very different for everyone.

The pain I experienced was intense to the point of toppling everything, unbearable really, and contrary to what I had been told by just about everyone, I did not want to push at all, it was agony. But afterwards I discovered I'd broken my tailbone during the delivery which explains a lot. Without that it would probably have been a lot more straightforward.

"The worst bits for me were being confined in the car for the journey to hospital (fully dilated it turned out...)"

I went to hospital (9cm dilated) on all fours in the back of DH's car - I just could not sit or lie down. He drove at what seemed like about 5 miles an hour, terrified of getting stopped by the police or killing me!

Sorry, I should add that I was induced with DD1 and that can make contractions more painful, but I have nothing else to compare it with so don't really know. Just worth knowing as perhaps contractions aren't that bad if you go into labour naturally?

I disagree with the comment that this thread isn't helpful - I actually think its really positive! I am just amazed (and encouraged) that some women find toothache, shutting finger in car door etc worse than labour, and others describe it as 'manageable'. It makes me think that there's a possibility that my second one (if I do it again) may not be quite as bad as the first. And for the record, I went in for the first with a really positive attitude, not scared in the least, having done a hypnotic birthing course etc... The only thing that helped was the epidural :-)

I always wish I had know more about the reality of childbirth beforehand too. I found my first labour painful at the time but had 1 failed and 1 full epidural (at 10cm) and forceps and didn't feel any of the pushing, stitches etc at all...but DS did arrive to a clap of thunder and bolt of lightning! I did have some dreadful after effects though as a result of episiotomy and infection. DD on the other hand was induced at 12 days overdue (I was begging to be induced) and came really quickly. Induction isn't always bad - I only had the pessary and was in full labour within 6 hours (lovely chats with other ladies on the ward) and established labour was less than 2 hours. It was painful and the early epidural I was meant to have didn't materialise so it all happened with gas and air. I actually found that the fear I felt when the pushing takes over (your body just does its own thing) much harder to handle than the pain and I wish I had been more prepared for that. DD was born in the sac and managed to break my coccyx on her way out but I found my experience of induction incredibly positive and recovered really quickly so please don't worry about induction. As other people have said, it will be what it will be and no two people are the same...lots of luck!

I agree Minty induced contractions are a lot nastier than natural ones - I think pitocin stops natural endorphins being produced.

I agree with the people who've said it varies greatly and does depend on your pain threshold. For me contractions were relatively easy to cope with using gas and air, felt like more intense period pains, and pushing was horrendous - but I labour and birth very quickly and I should imagine it feels worse for someone who's been at it hours and hours and is shattered.

OP - haven't read the thread but I didn't know I was having contractions - they weren't painful, just felt odd waves coming through me. When I timed the 'funny feelings' they were ten minutes apart! I didn't have 'pain' as such at all, just felt 'not myself' and bloody uncomfortable, although my DH says he thought I was in pain - I looked it. But that's not how I felt at the time.

It's OK because it's a positive pain, not like any other condition where pain shows that something is wrong. Think about all the other women before you - all your ancestors, in fact - who survived and probably went through it more than once!

Best wishes

With DC1 I was fearful of how I would cope with the pain but it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. TBH not much pain until the sharp sting of the crowning. But totally agree with Rainbow about the hard workout in the gym analogy. I was superfit and a marathon runner before DC1 born and I thought my first London marathon was more of an ordeal than childbirth.

Just had DC2. Was more painful but birth a lot quicker (couple of hours!) and didn't need to get myself pushing as was aware my body just took over and did what it needed to do. Just went with it and didn't even notice the crowning or birth!

Used gas and air for both. It is amazing how you can cope with the pain when you have a baby to look forward to. I also think if you are fit/do regular strenuous exercise you can cope better although that is just my experience and appreciate that every woman is different.

Good luck OP, you will be fine and amaze yourself.

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. I am finding this thread very helpful. So many people are scared of being honest to pregnant ladies that we only ever get either the very best (unrealistic to expect?) or very worse (scary) stories. As many have said it appears that fear and panic can change your experience and reading through your experiences is helping reduce my fear/panic. Even the negative experiences do help as you have all shown that you get through this and you all sound so strong. Just need to convince myself I can be as strong as you.

Dstobe is very low and feels like he wants out!

Thank you thank you thank you.

Just to add my first contractions with ds2 did not even feel like contractions i got from 0 -6 cm with my cervix just feeling a bit ouchy!