How painful is labour?

[MayimBialik]

I'm sure the answer will be very/extremely/agonisingly! But what is the most painful part? Is it the contractions? What do they feel like? Bad period pains but they go on for so long it gets exhausting? Or worse? Or is the most painful part the pushing? How long does that last for?

Just starting to wonder more and more about the whole thing. I'm hopefully having a waterbirth and am really looking forward to it. Im being a bit naive at the moment thinking I have a high pain threshold and always suffered from horrendous period pains so it can't be that bad....feel free to bring me back to reality!

It was one of the worst pains ive felt BUT it has to be singly the most amazingly happy experience I've ever had!

That moment when your baby looks at you for the first time, it's beyond words

Op.
I also suffered horrendous period pains and tbh I think it really helped me cope with labour.
In fact with ds1 they wanted to send me home from hospital (without examining me!) and it was only when I insisted that they found I was 6cm dilated!
It's fine, honestly. Transition was the worst for me with both births...felt very hot, very sick and very pissed off! :)

It's different for everyone.

I had an awfully painful labour, not helped by the epidural not working (this is rare). It was pain like I'd never imagined possible.

The women in the "orgasmic birth" video that we watched in our antenatal class, certainly didn't seem to be in pain on the other hand (Now that's the kind of birth I want!)

You will probably be somewhere between the two.

Preparing yourself for it can help, how about learning hypnobirthing techniques?

No Tango, you are right. I just find it can be a bit scary and make you feel out of control. I also don't think it helps to scare yourself by other people's experiences.

A lot of people have really great births, but you tend to hear less about them.

Fwiw, my friend had her first baby 2 weeks ago. Her DD was out 30 mins after she got to hospital, without pain relief. My friend was up and home again within a few hours without a mark on her.

I've had 3 births, all very different.

First time I was scared and found handling the pain very hard, had an epidural and felt I really needed it.

Second was much easier. Paracetamol, a water birth and counting through the contractions (as in you can do anything if you know it is for just one minute) was easily enough. Crowning was fine, despite quite a big tear, but feeling her head descend freaked me out!

Third time I expected a repeat of number 2, and got a repeat of number 1!

But, I was at home with no option other than to go with it, so I coped.

Not being scared is key for me. Fear ramps up pain and ramps down your coping ability.

I didn't have gaps in my contractions, when DS came out he had been back to back which (apparently) is why. I found it was more like an upset stomach type of pain rater than period cramps.

Despite this, and despite being a complete and utter wuss, I survived with gas and air, yes it was agonising but agree the pain was gone the moment DS was out (I'll never forget the feeling of pushing his body out, the relief, and utter endorphin-filled ecstatic high of seeing my baby, and accomplishment! I understand that I wouldn't have 'failed' if I hadn't done it naturally, but I'm the only one in my family not to have had a c section and everyone told me I'd need all sorts of drugs, I think I'm just stubborn :)

Thankyou Olives - that's good to know. The MW is mystified at my dates but says we'll argue about it at the end if necessary!

I hope the OP is getting a good mix from this thread. I found the positive posts really comforting, and was sorry to add a more negative one myself.

But I think honesty is important. Tbh before I had my first I had a sense of being above all of it - I had heard bad things but I couldn't comprehend that it would feel a certain way. I knew it would be something I'd go through myself, and it might be terrible, or it might be fine, but whatever anyone said didn't really phase me.

now I know how hard it can be, for myself, I am more worried than I was before I'd ever been through it. But I still know it might be a lot easier this time.

It's different for everyone. Personally, I found it wasn't as painful as I was expecting. Everyone told it was agony. Everything I read online said it was agony. I was prepared for agony right from the first contraction.

It wasn't that bad. I went through over 12 hours of contractions because I didn't realise what they were. They didn't really painful in the slightest, so I thought they were Braxton Hicks. It was only towards the end that they sped up and felt painful, so I went to hospital thinking my labour had just started. I gave birth less than 30 minutes later - naturally with no pain relief apart from gas & air but I didn't like that so stopped using it.

The crowning hurt like hell but it was the stitches that hurt so much more. The stitches were horrific and I wasn't expecting that to be the most painful bit.

Haha silver - "I'd do labour again any time if I could guarantee it would be like my first, but still in the 'I'm never doing the 1st 4 months of looking after a baby' phase!" I said sort of the same thing to a pregnant friend a while ago who was panicking about labour - I think my exact words might have been, 'The birth is the least bad part of all of it!'

I meant to say in my first post, the sensations in labour were quite dulled for me by a sense of being 'somewhere else' and a bit weirdly drugged (even though I obviously wasn't). I don't know if others have experienced it, but I felt very strange in labour, a bit 'out of it' like you are when you're drunk (this was when I was at home, before I had any gas & air by the way). So the sensation of contractions was just something I felt I had to focus on, it was very odd. But NOT in a scary way at all.

I was also sick at transition and failed to recognise that this was a symptom of the stage of labour - as another poster upthread said, there was no nausea or build-up to it, I just thought 'Oh, I'm going to be sick now' and threw up, once and voluminously, then felt fine again.

I know that at my 'labour in motion' class (what a load of shite that was...) the midwife said that it is very common for women to feel they want to die, or that they are dying, or to talk about death at transition. I found this idea quite frightening. I can honestly say that I never felt like this for even one second during labour - even during transition. I wonder now whether the Hypnobirthing techniques helped with this, or whether it's just a matter of luck? I'll never know I guess!

The closest I have ever come to actually wishing I was dead/thinking I was dying was when I had what I suspect was MRSA (years ago, and nothing to do with birth, labour or my maternity hospital by the way!!!)

That should be: They didn't really feel painful in the slightest

The fear of the pain can be worse than the pain itself, if you see what I mean. You have to try and get your head around it.

Everyone's pain differs but I would say far worse than period pain but not as bad (in my experience) as pneumonia.

The best description some one gave me was it was like stubbing your toe - that sharp pain that makes you go weak in your bones....but a million times worse.

The most surprising part of my pain was in my lower back - so much so I thought she was back to back and they had missed it - it felt like she was scraping against my spine inside....

Also the pain gets worse, you are having regular contractoins in established labour - and you might think - ok this is horrendous but this is it - but it isnt! It gets a whole lot worse and for me - it was the not knowing how long it would go on for!!!!

I would loved to have been able to get into the birth pool but I couldnt move an inch, let alone walk to get in it!

The relief once was she was out- was equally as shocking it was amazing....amazing...I felt instantly OK

Dont put any expectations on yourself, go with the flow....

Mind-scramblingly agonising.

But you get a baby at the end, so it's ok.

I didn't find it as bad as I thought it would be. The early labour part begin slowly on the Saturday night. It was milder than period pains. It was gone on Sunday. Then mild period pains again on Sunday evening. It was only when they became regular and slightly stronger than period pains late on Sunday night that we went to the hospital.

I stayed in water up until 7cm. Water helped hugely. I was definitely "in pain" by the time I left the water but no so much that I couldn't walk to the delivery room. But at that stage there wasn't much time left so it wasn't a drawn out painful affair.
Gas and air was ok but I don't know if it helped the pain really. Was a good distraction.
Transition was the only time I asked for something stronger for the pain as I felt I couldn't cope. Its only afterwards I realised that was transition. I wasn't given anything for it despite my pleas!
I pushed for two hours, going one step forward, one step back. It was very frustrating and I didn't feel that the productive. It wasn't awful though.
The crowning bit, which only lasts minutes, was the ring of fire mentioned on here. But once pushed through, no more pain, rest of baby flew out.
I was standing for the birth.

I always find it odd when people talk about 'pain' in childbirth. I never experienced any when my DD was stillborn earlier this year - I waited for the pain because that is what I had been conditioned all my life to expect but it never came. In fact I didn't even know I was really in labour as none of the midwives told me I was (they were avoiding me because the outcome was expected by that point). For me, it was just like a hard workout at the gym - your muscles do some work and you get a bit tired but there was no actual pain (and I usually have an incredibly low pain threshold) - I didn't even have the incentive of a living baby to cuddle at the end. I think you only experience pain if you expect too. Seems to me that the 'pain' of childbirth is a bit of a female conspiracy - I hope I am right because DC2 is due in March and I would prefer not to be proved wrong on my second go!

Rainbow I think there are actually a small percentage of women who don't feel pain in labour, perhaps you are one of them?

labour for me was ok. I was convinced it was my first BH (33 weeks) and went round the supermarket around 4cm thinking "ooh baby is really heavy today." Also at that point a lot of the sensation was in my leg (this can happen! it happened to my mum with no.3 and her mum made her go in, so when I rang her she flipped!)

the absolutely worst pain I have ever experienced was the stitches. All the determination and adrenaline of birth have worn off, and there is no way a little local is going to affect the mass of tissue that was once your vulva/bumhole.

Rainbow, so sorry to hear that. Good luck for labour with dc2 x

I did change my mind about the whole business at transition. But as I was being induced the MW advised an eidural as soon as G&A wasn't enough. I slept through much of labour. Being stitched after forceps however really hurt!

For the "escalation of internention types": the reason DS ended up needing forceps was the same as why he needed inducing in the first place. No amount of active birth or waiting for labour to start naturally would have got him out alive. Possibly I should have had an ELCS with the benefit of hindsight!

It is painful but waterbirth does help lots - done 2 with and 2 without. I LOVE gas and air but some people don't. I found contractions worse than the pushing but I do remember sort of 'leaving' my body with the thirdduring the second stage and floating up to the ceiling and looking down on myself - maybe that was pain. I would however do it all again tomorrow and it stops as soon as your bubba is out.

StealthPolarBear, thank you - hoping for a better outcome this time around.

I would recommend hypnobirthing, because although I don't think it helped me cope with the pain, it did allow me to just accept it and let it all happen, rather than trying to fight or stop any of it. I did try to stop the first second stage contraction, but that hurt far worse than letting it happen as I discovered quite quickly! And the only reason i tried to stop it was because I thought I was going to poo all over the bed (didn't, had emptied my bowels down the loo in the many trips I'd done over the previous several hours) - next contraction, I'd stopped caring!

I was induced at 40+14, but never got around to needing the syntocin drip, which I believe is the really painful bit - just had 3 pessaries and was left to get on with it - luckily DS decided to come out before they needed to put the drip up.

I also recommend raspberry leaf supplements/ tea for uterine toning - doesn't bring on labour, but makes contractions apparently more effective. As I only had about half an hour of stage 2 labour, I think it worked quite well (but who knows).

Rainbow, you are right, its very much like a marathon. I was exhausted afterwards, but elated too. Hypnobirthing don't use the word pain, its a surge I think, which does relate better to the sensation.
I'm sorry that you didn't get your living baby at the end.
Congrats on their imminent sibling next year!

rainbow sorry for your loss, good luck with dc2 - but sadly it certainly wasn't a female conspiracy that had me praying to black out during labour!

As people have already said, it is all so variable. For me, it was complete and utter agony. But I was induced and my baby's head was actually completely wedged in my pelvis so could have made it worse. The epidural was bliss! Mine ended in a c section so no idea about crowning I'm afraid.

If you're lucky then labour will be a small part of it all, those first few months are tough! Unfortunately I had a very traumatic labour and it led to depression that marred the first 6 months of motherhood for me. But my ds is now 9 months and every day I feel so lucky to have him.

Good luck for all of you pregnant ladies

I have given birth 3 times.

With 1&2 I was induced and used gas and air - I found contractions to be mildly uncomfortable but not painful. With 1 I panicked and made it worse for myself.

With 3 I went into labour naturally as my waters broke at home and didn't find it painful at all more like an uncomfortable nagging ache. I had gas and air before it started to get uncomfortable and it never left my mouth. I counted to 10 over and over which kept me calm and focused - it was a breeze.

I had short labours though, so I didn't suffer with exhaustion etc I'm sure that helped.

I am pregnant with number 4 and am looking forward to labour and birth, you never know it might be a lot better than you expect.

the after pains are beyond painful for me though am shitting myself about them