How painful is labour?

[MayimBialik]

I'm sure the answer will be very/extremely/agonisingly! But what is the most painful part? Is it the contractions? What do they feel like? Bad period pains but they go on for so long it gets exhausting? Or worse? Or is the most painful part the pushing? How long does that last for?

Just starting to wonder more and more about the whole thing. I'm hopefully having a waterbirth and am really looking forward to it. Im being a bit naive at the moment thinking I have a high pain threshold and always suffered from horrendous period pains so it can't be that bad....feel free to bring me back to reality!

I've done it three times - the first, my waters went first and it was full on and excruciating. A quick labour 4hrs. I had an epidural half way through as I could cope.

2nd c section. Recovery pain only.

3rd was in labour for 24 hours. The first 23.5 hours were perfectly manageable on gas and air. Then they broke my waters. The pain of the baby descending and coming out was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I think I screamed 'I'm dying' several times. BUT my second stage (pushing) is recorded on my notes as 1 minute. I didnt push at all. After the waters she literally flew out. I went from 5 - 10 cm in less than 10 mins.

So each labour was completely different and the third, by far the best...

Lots of people will tell you this is worse than this (as above) but the truth is everyone is different. For some people root canal is worse for some people childbirth.

A friend of mine had a baby the month after me and literally shouted at me when I visited her in the hospital. She said I shouldn't have frightened her when I told her about my labour. Her labour was almost completely painless, she said she had worse period pains most months. When she pushed the 8'11" baby out and needed no stitches she said it just felt like a constipated poo .

You only have to spend 24 hours in A & E, maternity or a surgical ward to see how people vary (25 years as a nurse!)

Who didn't snigger on OBEM at the women who were making a fuss and only 2cm dilated

For me it was the sheer relentlessness of it (3 days!) and the fact that I couldn't stop vomiting which was tiring me out even more.

Here's how it was for me. It was as if I were running a marathon and doing really well, better than I had ever run in my life and on a high from that, and besides, I was going to WIN this marathon and have all sorts of good things as a result. The finish line was a long way away (I wasn't even sure how far) but I knew that with every step I was getting closer. Running was giving me some intense pain, worse than I'd ever felt before, but on some level I didn't mind the pain because it was a necessary part of this great thing I was doing. The whole time I was focused on my baby and how great it would be to meet the baby at last.

The minute my baby was born I thought, "That was worth it and I could do it again, but not for a while! That was b**y hard work and it'll be good to have a rest!" I could see why they call it "labour".

The intensity of the pain was worse than anything I'd experienced, but it didn't feel like suffering. I would rather go through that sort of childbirth again than be very ill, have kidney stones or broken bones or anything like that. The worst suffering I've ever experienced was a late miscarriage - the fear and grief transformed the pain into something unbearable, though the intensity of the pain was actually less than when I gave birth to healthy babies.

My two births were different in detail but the above describes both of them.

MeeWhoo - nope you're not alone! I was pushing for 3 hours before I was transferred to hospital. And then a further hour after that (after manipulation and threat of ventouse). and then DS came out shoulders square on causing lots of damage. still DS was worth it, though he's always been a willful little thing .

This is probably going to annoy lots of people, but... I enjoyed it. It's painful but it's waves of pain that rock your whole body and then subside. And I enjoyed it. I found it wonderfully intense, felt very alive. I really enjoying the all-encompassing nature of the sensation, and I would happily give birth on a weekly basis if it were physiologically possible. If you run with it, embrace the pain, surrender to it, it's handable. I think fighting it, resisting it, makes your muscles tense up and then it's much more horrible.

I found it incredibly painful but now I find it hard to recall exactly what it felt like. I don't suffer too badly with period pains. It's also just hard work doing all that pushing. I had some gas and air and then Pethidine from about 5cm dilated which took the edge off the pain.
Compared to, say, cutting off your own arm with a rusty penknife, it's probably not too bad, but it's likely to be the worst pain the average woman will experience.

The bit I didn't enjoy and found very hard to cope with was the constant sensation of shitting myself - I hated that - I found that much much harder to deal with than the pain.

I've had root canal work done a couple of times and the anaesthetic has always worked fine, so that didn't bother me in the slightest. :)

Also, and a couple of posters have mentioned it on here already, the other thing that I wasn't prepared for was getting sick with the contractions. I ended up having an anti-emetic shot because of the sickness - that was almost worse than the early contractions! (I hate feeling/being sick).

On the hypnobirthing video I was lent, it showed women having babies with virtually no pain, which was quite impressive! It is a different experience for everyone though, as has also been said a few times on here - but I do agree that knowledge is, if not power, at least empowering because it reduces the surprises along the way!

I was convinced I could have a largely pain free hypnobirth. Did all the prep etc, and had the example of my DM who is one of those people who have really easy, hardly painful births

I was induced and had non stop contractions that completely shocked me. So much so that I demanded an epidural despite my previous fantasy that birth would be a spiritual (orgasmic even - ha ha ha ha ha ), peaceful experience.

I am now close to giving birth again, and I'm not scared as such, just prepared for the probability of, yes, agonising pain, which will be worth it in the end.

My favourite birth phrase is 'Labour is hard work. It hurts. And you can do it' :)

I didn't have any pain - not sure what all the fuss is about to be honest! The main thing is just to keep calm.

Ok OP if you find it helps then that is great!

I suppose I do understand, I always liked watching One Born when I was pregnant as it helped me to know how I didn't want to behave during the labour. Well didn't that all go out the window once it kicked off!

I had 2 very, very easy births.

Both times the contractions were nothing like period pains & were round my bum!

With my PFB I went into labour early but didn´t know until he was crowning.

With second I didn´t feel anything until I was 8cms.

Gas & air with 2nd no tears or stitches with either.

It hurt at the time-but was no where near as bad as I had been imagining.

Bushy, I also did the Hypno bollocks birthing. Great for relaxation, but pain relief- what a croc!

When I was in labour I couldn't stop thinking that it was unbelievable that in this day and age with all of the medicine and technology available to us that we are still going through so much pain for the birth of our babies. You wouldn't go through that to have your appendix out, would you?

DD1 hurt like nothing I had ever felt before (4 days induction with 8 hours syntocinon with a epidural that didn't take properly so it felt like my stomach was on fire) but 2 weeks after she was born I got taken to hospital with chest pains and that hurt a lot worse so it was as painful as I thought it was.

DD2, well I have honestly had far more painful periods and I only used G&A for 3 mins while I pushed so I had something to bite down on.

DD3 was a 3 week pro-dromal labour so was fairly achy and annoying but not horrendous when the actual proper labour kicked off, again I have had more painful periods.

When DD3 was 6m I had pancreatitis, my god I could have cheerfully thrown myself out of the car on the way to the hospital if it would have stopped the pain and if they had offered to euthanise me in A&E I certainly would have gone with that option .

Hoping DD4 is more like DD2's birth (or like DD3's but without the 3 weeks before hand!).

My first wasn't too bad... I can say that I would prefer labour pain over breastfeeding! Felt like shutting my nipple repeatedly in a car door.

My second DD was back to back.. the pain was just... unbearable. I was inconsolable between contractions because I was SO fearful of the next contraction. The head stretching things on the way out was bloody awful too (she was bigger)... ugh. I hope that if I have a third, s/he won't be back to back!
Its also left me 10 weeks later with terrible back pain :(

Not one regret though! Well unless you count clobbering the midwife for not getting on and breaking my waters/getting me some pethidine quickly enough... ugh

I did hypnobirthing and used tens - was in slow labour for 4 days as ds was back to back - found the breathing useful from hypnobirthing and the tens was useful - they wouldn't believe I was in established labour as I wasn't screamy enough apparently - when I insisted they check was at 10cms - 4 hours later ds was born - I tore but I think they gave me local anaesthetic. It wasn't overly painful for me this time - just long and hard (ds was 9lb 7oz and being back to back made it hard)

It is SO different for everybody. I know women who had 6 hour labours with little pain.

Personally I can tell you that being fully dilated with an undiagnosed breech baby and literally stuffing your hand up yourself to hold her in because no-one believes you - for nearly 2 hours REALLY, REALLY FUCKING HURTS like nothing else.

After 26 hours with a bit pf gas & air I ended up with emcs.

I'm sure things will be easier for you OP!

When I was in labour the hardest part was feeling like I needed to poo at the end of each contraction. I was so uncomfortable, but it wasn't that painful. That frightened me a little, not understanding what was going on. Turns out I had compacted faeces (nice!) which was easily solved once the mws got their act together. After that I felt I could cope because I knew what my body was doing. I wasn't offered any pain relief except paracetamol which I forgot to take, partly bacause the mws "left me to get on with it" and I was on my own so I don't think anyone realised how far along I was until I felt the head. Cue me being wheeled along the corridor at high speed to reach the delivery ward with the mws shouting "don't push" and me yelling "I can feel the head, I can feel the HEAD!". I was so occupied with trying NOT to give birth in the corridor or lift I wasn't really aware of any pain. Being allowed to push was such a relief rather than sore.
I agree with others though- stitches really hurt and I had to ask for lots more anaesthetic injections.
OP it may be terribly painful (that's why there are so many pain relief options), but you may also be lucky like me and not need a thing. Oh yes, and I am a dreadful wimp normally with pain- I fainted when I got my ears pierced , so this isn't an "I'm so tough" story! Good luck and enjoy your precious LO afterwards

With my second DC, born a few months ago, I was more prepared for the pain, which nature ensures we 'forget' but all comes rushing back when you go through labour again.

I laboured all day using hynobirthing techniques but in the last stages I was in absolute bloody agony and no breathing techniques were going to get me through it. I was literally climbing the walls with the pain and at one point was clawing my duvet. We got to the hospital with seconds to spare and my actual words to the MW were 'help me'!! However, the actual giving birth was almost pleasurable and I'd do that again in a heartbeat.

I had a pretty traumatic first birth with my DS so I was over the moon that all went well with my DD but there's no way on earth I'm doing it again. I will add here, that I ahve got a low pain threshold so OP, you might be fine.

I had a really horrific pregnancy...fainting and breathless from week 5 till week 12, exhausted from week 12 till week 16, 2 weeks of feeling fine, SPD started at week 18 and by week 20 I was on crutches and in agony...stayed that way until I was induced at 40 +1 as there was concerns about baby getting any bigger due to my inability to actually open my legs.
I was down to have a planned early epidural to help with the SPD. I was induced with a pessary at 9am on a tuesday and started contracting an hour later. Managed with TENS just fine until about 9pm, when it all suddenly got a lot worse and TENS stopped helping. Had I been able to move around I think I would have been loads better, but couldn't walk without crutches and a lot of pain, so was pretty much stuck on the bed. A bath really helped...then contractions ramped up again so started on the gas...which helped again. Didn't sleep at all that night...was only at 2cm in the morning so pessary removed and given 24 hrs to recover. Contracted throughout the day, again, had I been able to move around I think I would have coped with them better. Slowed right down but each contraction seemed to be more intense and used gas throughout the day. Stayed the same overnight, no sleep at all (partially due to awful SPD pain and partially due to contractions) then taken to delivery suite about 9am to have waters broken. Epidural put in and waters broken then epidural had to be resited as was not working. Feel into a blissful sleep and felt NOTHING till about 4pm when they asked me to turn over then felt contractions as tightenings but nothing I couldn't cope with. At 5.30pm they woke me again as DS was having decelerations and asked me to turn over...I did and it felt like I was doing the hugest poo in the world (proper watermelon out of a grape analogy!) and was told not to push as DS had to turn....I had no control over what my body was doing and panicked a bit. Wasn't so much painful as scary as had no control over what my body was doing. DS was out in 2 pushes and I tore quite badly, was stitched but felt nothing at the time (next day on the other hand was a different kettle of fish!)

I think the thing I found hardest was that I was unequivocally told that it would 'all be worth it once baby was in your arms.' For me, it wasn't. I don't wish to be negative or scare you, but I was SO tired and SO disconnected from the world that I don't actually remember him arriving and swore to DH that he wasn't mine. I desperately wanted to love him and bond with him and have 'that feeling' and it just didn't happen. I felt better after some sleep, but it took about a month before I felt like he was actually mine and I felt more than just a responsibility to look after this tiny little soul. I hasten to add he is 5 months old tomorrow and just my reason for living. I adore him and love everything about him....so all is fine now :)
Good luck with your experience, I'm like you in that I would rather read positives and negatives than go into it totally in the dark. Hope I haven't scared you x

To be honest, the contractions were the worst part for me - mine started at at around 8pm on the Saturday night at my sisters birthday party after a visit that morning to the hospital for a sweep and being told 'that baby is nowhere near ready'! they continued throughout the night and reached their peak around 6am on the Sunday morning to which I was then told to go to labour ward (I had called labour ward 3 times throughout the night) we got to the hospital and I went on gas and air around 3pm Sunday afternoon - we found out later on that baby's head was stuck against my cervix so I was given an epidural etc - I was todl to start pushing around 7am the Monday morning and as baby was still stuck, I had to sign the form for a potential C-section but, thankfully my little girl was born by forcep delivery - I didnt actually feel the pain of having to push her out as was completely numb so got it all to come for the second!!! I have to be honest, I had 3 midwives throughout the time I was in labour and they were all fantastic

Everyone's births / experiences are all different but just keep an open mind and relish it because you do actually forget the pain the minute your baby is put in your arms

agony from the start of contractions throughout. Started like bad curl-in-ball period pain and just got worse. Only the epidural (after 32 hours) lessened the pain although the forceps was still the worst pain I have ever known. I had been hoping to have a water birth too (bitter laugh)! I think my experience was worse than average though.

I disagree that you forget the pain! I will never forget, unfortunately, but I would still have another baby. I would just ask for an epidural earlier on.

Contractions were the worst bit for me. In fact the worst part was the bit before they accepted I was properly in labour and let me use the birth pool: I was lying on my side absolutely unable to move because it hurt so much (and I didn't find there was any pain-free time between contractions at all: it had peaks and troughs but it bloody hurt non-stop!).

As soon as I got into the pool it was fine - like period pain but no worse. It made an astonishing difference. Delivering DS hurt, but not as much as the early contractions and I was lucky and had no tears. In fact I was lucky all round: DS was in textbook position and I didn't have any tearing so didn't need stitches afterwards either. Walked out of hospital carrying DS in his car seat and was back on my bike a fortnight after delivery.