Pregnant after a miscariage, totally terrified, reasurance and hand holding needed.

[StateofConfusion]

I had a mmc in December, went for a scan at almost 14wks and there was no heartbeat, it was utterly heartbreaking.

Had an erpc and got back to ttc after christmas.

Got a BFP on friday, for 5minutes i was so happy my face hurt from smiling then fear hit me straight in the face, and I've felt uneasy since.

I'm achey/dull cramps at the bottom of my stomach/around my previous c-section scars, which i remember from being pregnant with dd, and now I've 2 scars, my youngest is 3.5yo.

However this terrifies me, I've always had horrendous nausea with pregnancy, and this time, its mild, occasional sick feeling.

I know im obsessing and reading into everything, theres no reason for this pregnancy not to be sucessful but i cant relax.

Anyone else been there who can reasure me, or even if you've not and had similar symptoms.

Thanks.

Dp obviously really needed a lie in he went out at 8.50 to collect some shelves for his garage

Oh dear, am feeling a bit overwhelmed today. Feeling utterly exhausted (managed a nap in the car with dd2, not the most comfy but needs must!) and feeling a bit worried about how we are going to manage 3- usual stuff, money, sleep, time to make everyone feel special and supported and trying to squeeze a sliver of time for me etc. Feel awful having these worries after being so desperate to get to this point, and as such can't say the outputs in rl. Rather unfairly I'm sure, but I feel a bit worried that when times get tough everyone will be a bit 'well it was your choice' etc.

Meant outloud in rl!

I am if course also v excited about this baby. Please tell me I'm not being awful!

Your not awful wl we all have little niggles in the back of our minds, a regular one in mine is I must be mad and a lot of other people think that too lol ( am on my 3rd)
try not to focus on the niggles cause you will worry yourself into a state xxx

WL honestly 100% I feel the same. I've felt very overwhelmed since this second scan. I want this baby so much but the worry for everything has me quite tearful, I'm also pretty shattered too. Today we went to a country fair and the dcs wanted to go on the bouncy castles (£3 each) I essentially blubbed all over dp at the realisation that things like that cost so much for 3!

We've taken the decission to ditch our zafira in favour of either the smallest engine size zafira or a multipla to save around £200pcm. And were also finally A band for council so can leave our private rent saving another chunk of money pcm I'm not too overwhelmed at moving council actually feel a bit embarassed but with dps health issues I need that security!
I can't wait to move and swap cars, But the complete stress of moving and car shopping is driving me insane!

To be honest I feel like a scared child.

Thank god! I think as you say, it's the realisation that 3 costs so much more than 2 for treats and days out. It's going to be so lovely having another baby but but but.
Thank god we all feel the same, looks like we have much more hand holding to do! Xxx

Good evening ladies :)

Just reading back, about financial worries ... I'm really trying not to think about it, I'll cry!! But I suppose everyone copes in their own way, so we'll be ok too.

I had my last shift on my department today - what a relief!! I can take it easy at work now and not end up gagging when sorting the waste

After the worry about OH's birth certificate, he found it at his mum's - phew!! We've now got all the paperwork for giving notice at the register office on Tuesday. We've both got the whole day off, as we need to go out of town, so are making a day of it. I've got some Pizza Express tokens from Tesco to use, so we're going to stuff our faces, as long as I'm not having a 'sicky day'!

OH had a bottle of Stella this evening, straight from the fridge - it looked so refreshing and scrummy, so I had a sip ... it tastes 'wrong'. So I guess I'm not missing out on the beer then!

I'm 9 weeks today, yay!! Think there was a growth spurt over the weekend, as I was getting sharp ligament pains and twinges. My work trousers are tighter still, even with the hairband holding them together.

Don't laugh, but we think we have a ghost cat in our flat A few weeks ago I could have sworn our cat came into our bedroom when I was sorting stuff out on the other side of the bed, I even called out to her, but when she didn't appear on my side of the bed I went into the lounge, where she was sound asleep and had been for ages. I've been in bed, with our cat asleep by my feet, then felt her walk up the bed towards me, but when I reach out to stroke her, she's not there, still asleep at my feet. I've sensed 'someone/thing' come into our room in the middle of the night. Stepdaughter was in the bath and called out to the cat, as she'd just seen her walk past the bathroom, but she was asleep on my lap in the lounge. OH came in the other day and was faffing around by the door, apparently the cat had tried to run out the door as he opened it, then he realised the cat he 'saw' had a black and white face, ours is all black. Exactly the same happened to step daughter this evening and we'd not told her about her dad's experience - she really thought our cat was trying to escape! All very strange. Our cat doesn't seem to notice anything though.

Yay crow so glad it's all coming together for you.
V weird about the cat, hope it's a nice friendly one!

Thank WL

The 'ghost cat' seems very benign, no horrid feeling here at all ... maybe it's company for our cat when we're out?

OH and I cried at One Born Every Minute earlier, soppy pair!

Debating now whether to stay up and watch Shawshank Redemption or go to bed .... film is winning at the moment. OH said he was watching something on his laptop, but appears engrossed in the film already.

So glad the wedding is all coming together crow I can't wait to finally dedicate some time to ours.

Dp is in hospital tomorrow for a knee op, just day surgery so home again for bed but I'm in a huge state about it and scared shitless ill end up home alone overnight, which has never happened before and I am terrified of the dark. Seriously can't even cope with dp going shop :(

Hope all goes well state and he's again ASAP.

well he has gone, its been two hours and im surviving but feel very teary and silly. I just feel so helpless and cant wait for him to get back home.

None of this is helped by a lack of sleep, achey boobs, hips and pelvis and huge waves of nausea and gagging whenever i get a tiny bit hungry.

How's dh, state? And you?

Pretty sure I felt baby moving today! Was sitting quietly in a meeting at work and felt some lovely fluttering. I pictured lo doing somersaults in my belly and smiled a big inward smile!

Hope everyone is doing ok today.

Ahhhh it's lovely to hear about people's weddings! DH and I been married nearly two years and (cheesy as it sounds) it was the happiest day ever! Wishing you all love and luck on yours - DH forgot our rings so that was our thing that went wrong... ;)
Told my first person today... she might need to help with doctor's appointments as we live in Spain and aren't yet fluent. It felt great telling someone but scary in case I tempted fate - was really tough to Skype with my Mum after and not say anything! 6+4 weeks and counting... :D

Hooray for wlmum It's beyond special, that first flutter, isn't it! :)

He's doing ok, he has me his mum and grandma to look after him.

I'm remembering this for after my c section :)

Glad to hear it :)

How is everyone? It's a bit quiet at the moment. Hope everyone is ok :)

Nothing new to report. Been to docs after my fainting incident last week. BP is low but there's nothing he can offer me for it. Had a blood test today to check the iron levels. And seeing midwife tomorrow on his recommendation to discuss the size of my bump as it is so big (for 25 weeks) that it might be the reason I'm feeling faint and breathless!! He also gave my boys (who were with me) a friendly warning to be kind and good for me it was worth the visit for that alone!

I ordered a count the kicks bracelet yesterday, which I hope will be handy especially as my forgetfulness is worse than ever Plus the money goes to a very good cause.

Hi wellies one week tomorrow till my 20week scan can't wait.hope tomorrow goes well with the mw. I am massive too and I'm not 20 weeks till Monday lol but at least I am all bump haven't put any weight on anywhere else.
seeing the consultant on Tuesday thank goodness cause I feel rotten xxx

Hi wellies, yes it is quiet now isn't it! I'm hoping that means we're all generally feeling a lot better in the head! I wonder if you will get an extra special scan? They always say they can't tell u how big the baby is but it's clear they can if they want to!

Poor Swansea I do hope the consultant can offer something useful.

I can't click links on phone but I had a count the kicks bracelet from Jacobs adder with ds and dd, plan to get another ready in time.

Blooming exhausted here with doing so much and school runs in the heat, I could just do with a good sleep!!!

I dug my bugaboo out today as I needed to get the bus (40mins yawn) to the next town to get some shopping my mum got wriggle a boofle comforter and a tiny knitted hat. So I decided since dd was an animal in it today to switch the bugaboo to the never used carrycot it was weird, I just can't visualise my baby in it and me getting to push it around. I'm excited though.

Hi ladies :)

Glad everyone seems to be progressing well.

Am 9+4 weeks today and still worrying, grrrr. On Tuesday, just as I was off to give notice of our marriage, I had an urge to go to the loo while waiting for the train. I'd had bad wind all night (probably due to the whole pot of humous I consumed) and when I went to the toilet at the station, the world fell out of my bottom , but I also noticed two tiny specks of blood in my panty liner. I told OH and we decided to carry on with what we had to do and see how it went.

Loads more knicker checks throughout the afternoon, and only a few more specks of blood on the tissue (none on panty liner) - bright red, not at all smeary, just as though I'd dabbed a small spot, and it was in the wrong place on the tissue, if that makes sense? Too far forward to be from where I'd expect it to be. Completely flummoxed. Nothing since Tuesday afternoon though. But that's not stopping me from worrying.

I still can't bring myself to believe all will be ok, that I'm actually pregnant. The only thing that makes me a bit more positive, is my sore boobs and too tight trousers (when I've been eating less since my BFP).

crow it could be a uti causing it --or if your anything like me obsessive knicker checking and wiping --

I'm now 13+5 and still can't believe it!