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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant after a miscariage, totally terrified, reasurance and hand holding needed.

981 replies

StateofConfusion · 22/04/2012 16:00

I had a mmc in December, went for a scan at almost 14wks and there was no heartbeat, it was utterly heartbreaking.

Had an erpc and got back to ttc after christmas.

Got a BFP on friday, for 5minutes i was so happy my face hurt from smiling then fear hit me straight in the face, and I've felt uneasy since.

I'm achey/dull cramps at the bottom of my stomach/around my previous c-section scars, which i remember from being pregnant with dd, and now I've 2 scars, my youngest is 3.5yo.

However this terrifies me, I've always had horrendous nausea with pregnancy, and this time, its mild, occasional sick feeling.

I know im obsessing and reading into everything, theres no reason for this pregnancy not to be sucessful but i cant relax.

Anyone else been there who can reasure me, or even if you've not and had similar symptoms.

Thanks.

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WLmum · 08/06/2012 17:49

Me too (grips states hand tightly)

WLmum · 09/06/2012 17:40

Extremely tired today (due to late night) which is making me feel emotional. Am v v nervous about scan on tues, trying hard not to imagine the worst again. Particularly worried as found out that sil is now ttc, how would we cope watching them if we lost this one?

bonzo77 · 09/06/2012 19:42

swansea it's OK to have a preference, even after what we've already been through. And whatever you have you will love it regardless. Last time I really wanted a boy, and got one, this time I genuinely don't mind. DS was a wonderful easy easy baby, but has turned into quite a boisterous, willful toddler. One of each would be nice, and there is no guarantee that a particular sex will have a particular personality. though I have all the clothes for a boy.

WL I totally get the anxiety over the scan. I know I will feel the same in 2 weeks time. The combo of tiredness and hormones is a killer. I'm sure I started feeling better later on in my pregnancy with DS. In the very very unlikely event that you lose this one, and SIL had one before you, you will cope with good grace publicly and probably feel like you were dying inside, but you would cope, because you have to, and because you will get the support you need, here if nowhere else. Cross that bridge if you come to it.

My booking appt was fine, DS was reasonably well behaved. I'm seeing the obstetrician next time as DS had IUGR and I had a CS. MW seemed to think I would be able to get a CS if I wanted one. Not 100% sure that I do. However, I came out of my pg with DS totally unscathed. My body bounced back, pelvic floor absolutely fine despite no exercises, no trauma, no pain. My CS scar is, well, a scar, but I'm not bothered. If I can have that again, why wouldn't I? If I can try for the birth I wanted last time (active labour, no epidural, no assistance) then I'll try it, but if they want to monitor me on my back then no way.

Having a lovely weekend. DH has taken DS to the out inlaws, a couple of hours away, over night. So I am sleeping, eating Chinese, snuggling the cat.

WLmum · 09/06/2012 21:06

Thanks bonzo. What's IUGR? I had hideous 'natural' birth with dd1 that she and I both came out of badly, and because of thus had an elective cs with dd2, which we both came out of very well. No contest!

So glad your apt went well and ds was well behaved.

StateofConfusion · 09/06/2012 21:57

bonzo my ds had iugr too (inter uterine growth retardation) basically small for dates/stopped growing WL they also suspected it with dd at 38wks however discovered my babys grown slightly outside guidelines as both had been sugested big for dates earlier on. I had section for both and really am hoping for the same again as I was warned with trial of scar etc I'd be monitored a lot and I'd hate that.

Its really annoying me that scans have become something I dread WL they used to be the highlight of my pregnancys.

Boobs are hurting less but can be tender and still feel heavy and awkward when I take off my bra, doesn't stop me worrying.

I officially have the pregnancy rage and nearly murdered dp last night over getting the wrong ben and jerrys, he got me frozen yogurt for fucks sake! And then had a massive meltdown at someone at the park today because of there dog and there horrendous reaction. I need to calm down!

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WLmum · 09/06/2012 22:26

I seem to have of digestion where I feel ridiculously full for hours after a meal.

Am officially 12 weeks today, but have the belly of 20 weeks! Clearly I am rather lacking in the stomach muscle dept!

WLmum · 09/06/2012 22:28

To be fair to yourself state when it is frozen yoghurt ever the right choice? Do tell about the dog/owner. Irresponsible dog owners are right up there on my list evil doers.

StateofConfusion · 09/06/2012 22:54

I'd asked for cookie dough for crying out loud! I just screamed I don't like it a million times --even though I've never tried it--

My digestions all over wl ravenous then stuffed, then sick. Most bizare.

Dog owner, well its a long one.
My mum has a pup who is now old enough for walks and were all working really hard with him as I have the 4 and 3yo my mum has a 7 and 3yo. And our old lab was a bit of a sod when I was a kid. So where possible we all go out and walk him he's very good and training is going well with him, we use the gang of kids to attempt distraction but he's brilliant. Anyway.

The children are all well trained in how to behave around dogs also as they've always been around them, my dd can be wary however but my mums pup is really bringing her around :)

So after a long walk we let them in the play area when we got there there was a very big dog tied at the gate, laid across the opening and when we got closer it snarled growled and was pretty scary. No idea who the owner was so dp just hopped the fence and he and mums dh lifted the dc over.

Me and mum take milo over to a bench a few feet away and sit down, dc play have fun and come out every now and again to play football, fuss the dog, speak to us. Each time this large dog goes mad, half an hour we ignore and ask the dc to keep away etc.

Eventually this women screeches at my 3yo brother "if you don't fucking run he won't try and attack you" at this point dp goes, "I've had enough, how dare you shout at a toddler for running in a play area, if your dogs distressed maybe move it"

She screeches some more etc, the dogs protecting the baby etc, which she'd left crying in the pram, whilst she helicopter parented an 18mo at the far side of the park.

Dp replies, "if the dogs distressed maybe move it and the baby away from a gate where people have to get close"

She then called him a dick head, stupid and thick as pig shit. (Dp is severely dyslexic and has had speech problems which are un-noticable now) but I flipped. Gave her a right dressing down about taking responsibility for her two children and animal she called me fat, my mum comes charging over she's pregnant, what's your excuse for you behaviour etc. She continues stating our dc shouldn't run as it upsets her dog, he's just protecting the baaaayybeee etc. We call our dc out and the dog goes insane snarling snapping and being very aggressive, she laughed, I parted with "your a silly bitch and a disgrace of a mother and dog owner I'm reporting you" I walked away to ring the police in this time she continued to slate our dc, my dp and called the puppy a soft twat because it doesn't behave like hers 'protecting its children'

I went back told her I'd reported her asked my lot to leave NOW. Found a ranger on the way out told him also and as we loaded into the car she was so busy hurling abuse she pushed her baby off the swing whilst saying we didn't deserve kids and hoped we crashed on the way home. I'm not proud of it but I laughed at her.

I was so angry I was still shaking 3hrs later.

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angels668 · 09/06/2012 23:34

Hiya ladies, i'm new to this site but really needed someone to talk to.

I had a mc 2 months ago and still struggling to deal with it, i was only 6 weeks but so torn up about it. I do have 3 other children but i have never had a mc before. I feel like i'm pregnant again but am so scared in case it happens again. I don't want to go through a pregnancy constantly worrying that it's going to happen. I keep telling myself that i'm making a drama out of it but i really can't help how i'm feeling. I don't want to keep talking to my husband about it as he is just as torn up as i am. So scared, what should i do? xxxxxxxxx

StateofConfusion · 09/06/2012 23:52

Welcome angel, I am so sorry for your loss, it doesn't matter when it happens its still completely awful and heartbreaking, from what I've learnt and experienced first hand falling pregnant within 3-4mnths after a mc is very likely and a good thing as your body is ready for it.

Its ok to be scared, I'm 12+2 and I'm terrified and worry constantly, keep comunicating with your DH and rant and vent here. We've all found it invaluable.

I have two dc, it didn't soften my pain, it made it worse because I could do it so why did I loose that baby???

Take care and talk here as much as you need to xxxx

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WLmum · 10/06/2012 07:37

Hi angel I second what state says, and would add take one day at a time. When I first found out I was pg 12 weeks seemed impossibly far away but here I am. It's absolutely normal to be worried but I have found being busy has been a good distraction.

state what an awful woman. I'm so glad you reported her, I would have been terrified. Your dcs were quite right to run in the play area, and what if there were no dhs to lift them in. Her attitude was totally vile and she's just the sort of person who should not be allowed kids or dogs. Sorry that you had to go through such a horrible experience but glad you stood up to her and reported her.

welliesandpyjamas · 10/06/2012 08:44

Hi everyone :) and welcome Angel :) It is a very scary and confusing experience. I sympathise with the confusion of having a mc after having successful pregnancies. It's quite a blow but I kept telling myself it would be worse if it had happened before dc as then it would be the dreadful unknown, what if I couldn't have any at all iykwim. I hope you get the bfp now- have you tested?

stateof what a mad dog woman in the park! I know I sound old by saying it and let's face it I'm not exactly that young hmm but where have the common sense and manners gone these days?! Some people, eh.

WL well done on your 12 weeks! That's a good landmark!

All ok here. Will be 24 weeks next Thursday, which was the next 'safety landmark' I was aiming for in my paranoia Grin Lots of wriggling, evening heartburn, and the start of the old braxton hicks Shock I did have to consult Dr Google on that one, worried it was too early, but apparently they can start from as early as 6 weeks!! And they did come on while I was out for a long walk, was thirsty, and needed a pee and apparently these are all triggers. What I should have done is lie down on my side in the woods and demanded that dh run the half hour back to the car to get a drink for me Grin

StateofConfusion · 10/06/2012 11:11

wellies that was exactly what I thought, she had no idea what kind of people we were, dp and mums dh are young and 6"5 and 6", no way would I dare mouth off to a bloke that size I didn't know --or anyone for that fact I'm a wuss-- she was mental.

WL our due dates must be about the same now, I'm 12+3 :)

Still worrying a lot over my scan despite one symptom or another always being present.

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StateofConfusion · 10/06/2012 11:13

Grin at wellies laying down in the woods, I've never had braxton hicks

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WLmum · 10/06/2012 15:11

Thanks wellies how lovely to have wriggling, I think I probably won't believe all this is true until I can feel movements every day.

state I will get my official due date at scan on tues - eek!

StateofConfusion · 10/06/2012 16:37

My due date will be 'confirmed' thurs, last scan the baby was too wriggly and the prefer to date at 12wks. Mixture of excitement and fear for it now.

Although I'm not quite ready to prepare for the baby I've been organising christmas as having a newborn will make my usual routine hard work (ie shopping last minute) I already have 2 presents for ds and a few for dd thanks to my awful sleep patterns ebay and facebook selling sites have given me some amazing bargains, a collection of 8 disney princesses, aladin and tinkabelle, a rug and bedding all brand new for dd for £25 --and I've even put a pressie up for the baby--

Feel sick today and get weird feelings in the boobs, not pain as such but brief weird and unpleasant!

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SwanseaMum · 11/06/2012 08:21

18 weeks today eek !! didn't think this pregnancy could get much worse but its official it has! Going back to the gp today cause I feel so unwell and to top it all off my hips have started to play up :( well at least I will have a beautiful baby to show for all my suffering :) (fingers crossed)

state that women was a psycho. and well done for confronting her!!
wl, state I am sure your scans will be fine deep breathing and happy thoughts.
wellies are you going start relaxing a bit now? defo hit another milestone. have you started telling people yet?

WLmum · 11/06/2012 09:24

Am a total wreck today, hardly slept after talking to DH about the week ahead and trying to plan how we can tell certain people together after scan. Now beside myself at the thought of the scan tomorrow morning, feeling v teary and can't help remembering the last 12 week scan we had. Also sad about dd1 going back to school today, really enjoyed having her home for half term, and not happy about the school she attends and doesn't look like we'll hit top of wait list for better school before Sept (but that's a whole other rant!). So wish I didn't have to go to work today. Boo!

Hope everyone is having a cherrier Monday! X

welliesandpyjamas · 11/06/2012 09:30

swansea sorry to hear you feel so awful. Let us know how you get on at the docs. I have started to relax a bit more now. We both have. DH spent yesterday evening at his uncle's house going through their massive family tree to find pretty girl names..I was bombarded with texts with all hus ideas! And yes, I have started telling more people. I started by writing to closer friends and family who I din't see often and then did a discreete facebook post for everyone else, followed by a (not-so-discreet) scan pic! I've had really lovely reactions from everyone, especially those who knew about the mmc.

wl thinking of you and hand holding for tomorrow. Who is going with you?

StateofConfusion · 11/06/2012 10:05

swansea you poor thing, I've had hip aches already, had spd with ds and dd though so I expected it. Also had rib pain apparently they move about in pregnancy, but at 12wks??

WL I felt exactly the same, was close to tears and getting more and more low the closer my scan was, and the sames happening with this weeks, only 3 sleeps left.

Glad your feeling more relaxed wellies :)

It still doesn't feel real for me, that I'm actually pregnant, and I feel like I'm lying when I say anything. Feeling teary today as my boob aches coming and going so I worry but heading to 2nd trimester that's expected but I can't help myself.

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crowette · 11/06/2012 17:24

Good afternoon ladies :)

I've just woken from a 3 hour afternoon nap, and I feel worse than I did before! I've been up since 4.30am, got home at 11.30am, had a cheeseburger puff from the butcher while watching a film/messing about on laptop, tiredness hit, so took myself off to bed at 1.30, and woke up at 4.30 ... feeling sicky and just bleurgh. I spent Saturday feeling like this, on the sofa all day and was wishing the 'pregnant feeling' would go away. Yesterday I felt ok, and was wishing it back as I was worried something was wrong - I can't win. Oh, and I've started to gag when I clean my teeth ... gag reflex is on overdrive, to the extent I was on the phone to my best friend, telling her about my symptoms, got to the gagging one and promptly started gagging down the phone to her Blush

I cried at work on Thursday, the thought of all the physical work was too much ... it tires me out, and I'm scared I'm doing too much and going to cause MC (I know it won't, but I'm not taking any risks) so I've asked to be moved to a less physical job - checkouts here I come Hmm

But hey, it's all good, isn't it?! That's my moan done with!

8+2 today and still pregnant Grin

StateofConfusion · 11/06/2012 21:31

Evening crow

moan away, as long as i can too, i also feel --like shite-- pregnant, tired, sick, run down, achy, hungry, then sick again.

Nothing I've eaten has rid me of the low lying nauseous feeling like it usually would, 8hrs sleep last night and i still spent the day exhausted and with a headache, had a 2hr nap and feel horrendous for it.

BUT

12+4 today and still pregnant and seeing the wriggler again thursday Grin

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WLmum · 11/06/2012 21:35

So I have made it nearly through the day, been v distracted (nearly walked into a billboard and instead of turning off the grill I turned it to high so cremating instead of keeping warm the aubergine slices).
Told my boss why I'm going to be late in tom, she was sweet about it, had a little cry on the way home followed by drinking in of dds. Feel kind of ok at the moment, partly I think out of exhaustion. Thank god the apt Tom is first thing.

WLmum · 11/06/2012 22:43

Sorry you've been feeling so rotten crow, the only consolation is that good strong symptoms mean all is progressing well u def did the right thing asking for a less physical job for now, you're right that it won't cause mc but it won't help your knackeredness either. Grab a rest anywhere/how you can. Just be really kind to yourself for a bit, give yourself permission to sit/lay down as often as possible and trust that it will all pass soon enough. That goes for you too state!

StateofConfusion · 11/06/2012 23:04

ok i know its too early but i just sat with my knees pulled right up and i swear i felt something move, like a pop or press against the front of me, most weird. Really made me jump.

WL GOOD LUCK TOMORROW xxx

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