Pregnant after a miscariage, totally terrified, reasurance and hand holding needed.

[StateofConfusion]

I had a mmc in December, went for a scan at almost 14wks and there was no heartbeat, it was utterly heartbreaking.

Had an erpc and got back to ttc after christmas.

Got a BFP on friday, for 5minutes i was so happy my face hurt from smiling then fear hit me straight in the face, and I've felt uneasy since.

I'm achey/dull cramps at the bottom of my stomach/around my previous c-section scars, which i remember from being pregnant with dd, and now I've 2 scars, my youngest is 3.5yo.

However this terrifies me, I've always had horrendous nausea with pregnancy, and this time, its mild, occasional sick feeling.

I know im obsessing and reading into everything, theres no reason for this pregnancy not to be sucessful but i cant relax.

Anyone else been there who can reasure me, or even if you've not and had similar symptoms.

Thanks.

All well :) And likely a sister for my two boys :)

Now I'm relaxed!

So pleased for you both Wellies and Crow!

I'm gonna duck out for a bit as we're at full mc now.

I'll be popping in to see how you're all doing and wish you all all the love in the world. Thank you so much for all your support. Pretty soon I'll be reunited with DP and with any luck you'll see me a few days after MrsCupcake returns. :o

Oh deb I am sorry ((hugs)) take care and good luck xxxx

Wonderful wellies

Thank you state. I've got you all on watch so I won't miss your lovely moments.

Aw no, debeez, so so unfair :( Look after yourself lots, keep stalking, and get yourself back on here super fast, ok?! X

I shall wellies. Thank you so much. I'm home alone this week and you've all been so amazing. I'm also loving reading all your positive stories. Making me smile through it.

Shame you're alone but alone time = me time so spoil yourself lots x

Can I just have a rant.

Dp has been in a shitty mood since wednesday night, he's accussed me of pushing him out of this pregnancy? Which is utter bullshit, I've talked until my throat hurts about things with him, I don't have anyone else to speak to, and I've just tried to talk to him about why he's so off and he's basically just slagged me off for not eating right or doing enough to my face and is now in a worse mood stomping around the house with his headphones on. I know I'm hormonal but I can't stop crying. I am so cross and hurt I don't know what to do or say.
And to make matters worse I have my younger brother and sister staying so I'm battling 4 under 7's into bed.

I feel so lonely.

oh deb I'm so sorry to hear that. Totally sucky. Be kind to yourself and hope to see you shouting good news from the rooftops real soon.

wellies lovely news. Do hope you can start to relax and enjoy your little lady.

state men are very strange creatures. It does sound like he's being a bit harsh, you have talked about discussing lots of aspects of this pg with dp and it sounded like you are really close and strong. I guess all I can say is that maybe it's his turn to freak out now if he's been holding his emotions in.
4 under 7 into bed without any support must be pretty tough too. No wonder you're feeling a bit low. Don't forget though that emotions are likely to a bit more extreme at the mo.
Sending you a big hug. When I feel like that I usually retreat to the bath with a glass of vino (substitute with tea and chocolate in current condition) and a good book. Xx

As for me, I managed an afternoon nap today, total bliss! Am finding afternoon knackeredness quite a trial at the mo.

Thanks WL its a shitty week coming up for me, my should have been due date and my Grandmas birthday, she died in 2010 but I've still not dealt with it. She was my best friend and she brought me up with my mum.

I'm all snotty and puffy eyed, but dp is talking now.

Hi ladies,

Can't stay away! Debs so very sorry xx

Stateof he is probably bricking it himself and (selfishly, but men often know no other way) projecting all his anxiety on to you (not much help but an explanation possibly?). If you have the mental strength it may be worth asking him if he is finding this all very hard - it may be the prompt he needs to open up to you (but only if you can take hearing his worries).

Just to update you all, I am still strangely emotionless (am starting to worry about this), although saw pregnant mum at school jubilee celebrations today and felt oddly - bizarre really as she must be at least 6 months gone and have got used to seeing her in the playground at pick up for ages with her bump without even registering (plus her DC is in different year to mine so don't even know her). Anyway is the first sign I've had that I may even be aware that a) I was pregnant and b) am now not. Really do feel very detached from this all, which as I say leaves me feeling very worried.

Didn't mean to post that yet! Got a bit handy with the enter button.

Great news wellies - hope you can start to relax a little now?

Just read your latest post stateof - this will be a very hard week for you, please be kind to yourself.

I hope you don't all mind me lurking around here still? Am hoping to ttc asap and be back here validly soon,

love to you all

xx

cupcake. I don't think you should worry about being emotionless, I think it's self preservation. I do think at some point you will feel all the emotions but maybe not til you have let your guard down and it may well take you by surprise. I still very emotionless about this pg which I also think us self preservation but does make me feel a bit weird. I'm hoping I might warm up a big after the 12 week scan. It's good that you're holding it together, not least for dc who find it very hard when mummy is upset.

Lurk all you want, very happy to have you. Xx

Sorry to hear that state that must be very tough. I can only imagine how painful it must be to lose someone that close. You sound like a lovely close family, that is def something to be proud of.

Hope you and dp are in a bettern

Oops! That was supposed to say better place now. It is always awful to argue with someone you love. X

Deb I am so sorry,
cupcake I think you aare doing incredibly well and when the time comes to finally accept what ever emotions are thrown at you know that you can always come on here to ventt or get support xx
state sending you a hug xx
Crow mh cat does that all the time when we have visitors ,
I
I am bound to have forgotten someone so I will apologize and blame it on my pregnancy brain hugs for everyone who needs them xxxx

So sorry Deb, hopefully we'll see you and cupcake back here soon xx

Thoughts with state too. Take it easy.

wellies yay, great news!

Gone from one extreme to another here - symptoms overload!

Sore boobs - all day yesterday
Sense of smell - driving me mad! Could smell the cheese and onion quiche on OH and DD's breath last night, eeeww! Also sitting in bed and there was a strong floral smell, worked out it came from the fabric conditioner in the duvet cover. At the moment I can smell the plug in air freshener in the hallway, even though it's not actually switched on.
Horrid aftertaste in my mouth after eating/drinking anything remotely sweet. I'm halfway through my morning cup of coffee (only one of the day) and I can already taste the sugar in it.
Loss of appetite - soooo not normal for me, I never lose my appetite, even when really ill! Made us all salad last night, I did myself a tiny portion but couldn't even bear to eat that. I left it and had a bow of shreddies later instead.
Low level nausea - all day. Going to have to graze on stuff throughout the day it seems.

I think I've found the cause of the loads of stretching/cramping I've been feeling ... when I had my last MC, they said my uterus was tilted back - apparently, when pregnant, as the uterus grows it starts to tilt forward again, due to lack of space, thus feeling more stretching and cramping. All makes sense to me and makes me feel better about it :)

Hope everyone is well and have a lovely jubilee weekend planned!

crowette exactly the same symptoms here. I've had to change the cat to dry food as the smell of the pouches makes me gag.

We changed the cat over to dry food before I even got my BFP, I woke up one morning and the stuff she'd been fed from the night before was making me wretch.

DD2 is wearing some very sweet strawberry roll on perfume - I can't say anything to her because we're not telling the girls just yet, but it's overwhelming to me.

Yey for symptoms overload Crowe! I literally cannot stay away from you all, you've been such a support to me and every time I see a new post about symptoms and scans I just want to cheer.

Cupcake, do not worry about the emotionless feeling, I've had moments of pure stoic, even on the phone to my midwife I felt like she expected more from me grief wise. I think WL summed it up best, it's self preservation.

Just checking in, me and dp had a long chat, I cried so he brought Macdonalds we'll get there :) x

Hi ladies hope everyone is ok.
Saw the mw today ( she couldn't do my 16week check on Thursday so she called up today to do it) baby is fine really strong heartbeat , unfortunately I am not to good when she was taking my bp she found I have a really irregular heart beat have to go see the gp next week , it could be related to the anemia but we don't know so have to get it checked. it may also be the cause of my breathlessness oh well I never have straight forward pregnancies :)

swansea your really going through the mill aren't you! You poor thing! Hope it goes ok with the GP. I had an irregularity for a few months turned out to be down to stress and anxiety.

I'm daring to write lists and begin organising.

Hi deb thanks for the lovely sentiment.

state so glad you're working through stuff, it always feels like the end of the world to me when DH and I properly fall out but it is totally normal, particularly in times of extra stress and anxiety.

Swansea you poor thing. I do hope it's something that can be quickly and easily put right but in the meantime maybe take states advice and try to focus on relaxing, maybe check out some breathing techniques or visualisation. I'm crap at the latter but do find that when I'm getting in a tizz a few minutes laying down and focussing on my breathing can help me to calm down a bit.