Pregnant after a miscariage, totally terrified, reasurance and hand holding needed.

[StateofConfusion]

I had a mmc in December, went for a scan at almost 14wks and there was no heartbeat, it was utterly heartbreaking.

Had an erpc and got back to ttc after christmas.

Got a BFP on friday, for 5minutes i was so happy my face hurt from smiling then fear hit me straight in the face, and I've felt uneasy since.

I'm achey/dull cramps at the bottom of my stomach/around my previous c-section scars, which i remember from being pregnant with dd, and now I've 2 scars, my youngest is 3.5yo.

However this terrifies me, I've always had horrendous nausea with pregnancy, and this time, its mild, occasional sick feeling.

I know im obsessing and reading into everything, theres no reason for this pregnancy not to be sucessful but i cant relax.

Anyone else been there who can reasure me, or even if you've not and had similar symptoms.

Thanks.

Hi ladies, welcome deb. I second what's been said, I saw my gp as early as possible, but only wanted to see a specific gp that I knew would be supportive so had to wait until I was 8 weeks. Got quite a sniffy phone call from mw the day after asking mr to see her but I said not until after 12 weeks as last time I spent an hr with mws for nothing and found them v flippant about previous mc. She was clearly not that happy but tough!

Glad things are looking up state.

Swansea remind me how many weeks you are...when can you use a home Doppler? I change my mind frequently about whether to get one.

bonzo my epu wouldn't see me for my loss of symptoms, but would if I said pain or bleeding, prob easier to fib about pain.

My boobs are back a bit and I'm v tired. I wonder if it was possible to worry my symptoms away?!

I also had a horrible dream last night that u started bleeding. Luckily (so far) that's not come true.

wl I've had those dreams, too many times :( they really bother me.

But last week I had one about the scan, it was really good and aparently a girl, so fingers crossed that's the one which comes true, not fussed which sex but the healthy part I am!

WLmum The dreams can be awful, after MC i kept dreaming I was pregnant again then woke up and remembered.

"She was clearly not that happy but tough! " Exactly, she's not the one who's pregnant, like I said my friend got an earful for not booking sooner but she was just doing exactly what she did last time round. Sometimes you feel more like a womb to be examined to schedule rather than a person going through some seriously dramatic changes.

Exactly. You must do what feels right for you. I think sometimes the Sevices are so target driven that they forget about you as an individual and how you feel. That said, there are some great professionals out there if you are lucky.

deb what a horrendous dream, man we can be unkind to ourselves

Do any of you watch hollyoaks? They did a fantastic portrayal of mc a while ago and that characters pregnant again, and they're doing it brilliantly imo, showing how its not a magic fix and all happy etc.

Just wrote a long message and lost it not happy lol.
don't watch hollyoaks state :s , guess what tho my car died yesterday as well how weird is that hopefully won't cost too much to fix cause I am stranded without it.
Am 16 weeks on Monday so was due for mw check anyway I am so lucky to have her cause she came back to the surgery (where I work also) on her way home to check me over I did tell her she didn't have to but she knows how stressed I am bout the mc and that bloody dream upset my entire day. I cried when I heard the heartbeat.
My doppler came this morning I love it have had great fun trying to find the hb did find it eventually even heard sonera kicks too :) can see it becoming a bit of an obsession tho so will have to try and rain that in before it gets too much.
started feeling movement now too not a lot just flutters and the baby occasionally likes to push against my abdomen so it feels really hard :) wish all this stuff would reassure me but it doesn't really still waiting for the disaster I suppose it will be like this til that baby is I my arms.
xxx

Sorry about your car swansea its a nightmare isn't it! We have good bus conncections but due to dps knee and hip problem he can't really walk that far so the cars essential for him until his operation and probably afterwards.

Lovely to hear your feeling movements, your mw sounds nice! I think I will cry at the scan, before, during and after no matter what happens! I'm ummming and aahing over a doppler, will see how I feel after my scan, if I'm lucky enough, 4 days to go...

Hi ladies, just thought I'd pop in and see how you all are.

Deb nice to meet you, so sorry to hear of your mc, but many congrats on your BFP. I phoned my GP as soon as I got my BFP (she had propped me up with valium after the last MMC), and told her I had had some bleeding and would like an early scan if possible after what had happened last time, she made an appt for me to see her when I would be almost 7 weeks so that she could refer me that day to EPU, which she did. I think the key word for an early scan is 'bleeding' if that helps. It is however, a double edged sword, because I had a scan at 7 weeks which showed an empty sac measuring 6 weeks I then had to wait 10 days to be scanned again (longest 10 days of my life) which showed the anembryonic sac. I think it has helped in that it gave me 10 days to come to terms with what may happen (plus lots of time spent consulting Dr Google), and I had even left a day clear in my diary for my ERPC, so this time I do feel like I have quite a lot of control whereas last time it was like having the floor pulled from under me. During the 10 day wait there were lots of times that I wished I had never had an early scan, but I am glad that I found out earlier this time. It's a tough call.

Having said all of the above, I would also say that I picked the GP in our surgery who I know is very empathic (and a mother), there are one or two in the surgery who I think would have just made me wait for the 12 week scan.

State and Swansea sorry to hear about your cars, we live in the absolute middle of nowhere so I would be beyond lost without a car (I can do the 45 min cross country walk to the village but Ds would collapse long before we got there!).

Good luck on wed State - I'd like to say I'll be thinking of you, and I will, but probably not while under the anaethestic!

I'm feeling incredibly positive about it this time, I think I must be in denial and maybe after the ERPC I will crumble, I think the fact that there was never a baby (and from what I understand never could have been) is making it so much easier, unlike last time when a baby had been growing. I also know that I did absolutely everything by the book this time - lots of rest, vitamins, no caffeine at all etc so it can't possibly have been my fault.

I even stayed dry eyed when Ds said yesterday he would like a brother and a sister (and named them), and told me I need to get a really fat tummy to get them both inside!

Maybe I'm just becoming really hardened (hope not), have a nice weekend all

x

Agreed WLmum, as if we haven't got enough on our subconscious whacks on a bit extra.

I am so glad you're feeling positive MrsCupcake, you have done everything you can and you know that. Not hardened, just strong.

DP called me last night, we may see each other on Saturday so fingers crossed. He's trying to keep calm but he's so excited, I'm feeling the pressure to be honest. I have some good new this morning (a complete TMI so sorry) I have very sore large brown nipples that have came from nowhere (I did have nipples before but not like this :o ).

Hi ladies, can I join too?

I'm 31, have 2DD aged 7 & 4, 1st mc Feb @ 7wks, 2mc end March @5wks. Pg again, 5+1 today.

Feeling absolutely terrified. Have read the thread and really relate to a lot of your posts. cupcakeI'm so sorry for your loss.

My doctor was great when I saw her last week but even she was unable to get me an early NHS scan. Only get them here when have 3+ mc's. Thinking of booking private one at 8wks (if I get to that point) but also don't want to pay £100 for bad news...

Hope everyone is doing well today. x

Hi, can I join too? I have 3 dd's and had a miscarriage between dd2 and 3. I am pregnant again (6+1) and having quite a time of it...I've had brown cm which started last Sunday and has been on and off since. On Friday evening I had quite a lot of thin red blood for about 20 minutes but no clots or pain. It was really worrying but then stopped as quickly as it had started. Since then I've been back to brown when I wipe. I'm being scanned on Thursday when I'll be 6+4. I still have pregnancy symptoms which is good (although I feel lousy) but it's hard to know what to think. I know that this happens to lots of people who go on to have healthy full term babies. Equally it's not happened in any of my previous pregnancies and the sight of red blood just makes you feel awful. I dread going to the loo at the moment (although I seem to be in there every two minutes checking). I am on a pregnancy thread but thought I might scare people there.

I hope wednesday goes as well as it can cupcake I found my erpc quite healing. I hope you remain positive and get a sucessful pregnancy soon. I'll be thinking of you ((hugs))

Welcome to kitty and spring make yourselves comfortable and post as much or as little as you want. I'm sorry to hear of your losses but a huge congratulations on your BFPs.

Welcome to Kitty and Spring, I'm new too and you're in the right place, so much support and love here. Sorry for your losses but congratulations on your pregnancies.

Welcome kitty and spring , we are all in the same boat here so make your selves at home.

Cupcake you are amazing and should be so pond of how you are dealing with all of this take care thinking of u xxx

Thank you for the welcome. I was worried earlier as I had no symptoms (sorry can't help it) but I rather wished I'd enjoyed the respite. I feel as sick as a sick thing right now. Yuk, yuk, yuk.

We are all the same spring worry about everything!

I'm at the stage where ill eat anything I can lay my hands on, but chicken and eggs repulse me my boobs constantly niggle and range from the odd ow to agony.

3 days till me scan, to be honest I'm terrified.

hi thanks for the warm welcome!

Springflowers i think i was on the same pg thread as you - it's so upbeat and you can tell that mc has not even entered the heads of some folk (jealous!). Feel i can say how I really feel here - much more scared than excited :( That's a shame you have to wait til Thursday for your scan but fingers crossed the scary red blood will stay away. x

I know I shouldn't have, but I ordered more CB digital today. have tested right for dates so far but want to check that it's now gone up to 3+. I know it's madness even as i type but i can't help myself. Doc won't do bloods either- she think it'll do me more harm than good.

Hope you all enjoyed the sun today. x

I have to say some doctors and midwives really don't understand quite how scary this is for us, our innocence has gone and were expecting the worst.

Welcome kitty and spring. As you will know from some of our friends on here we can't promise everything will be ok but we can promise fantastic ears, hugs and understanding. It has been so helpful to pour some if my crazy in here rather than all on DH.

I did exactly the same with the clear blue, knew it was all a waste of money cos wouldn't change anything but needed to see the 3+.

I am ridiculously tired which I take as a good cross to bear, and I know I felt like this at this stage with dd2. I also have a goodly belly developing which my mum couldn't take her eyes off today - I told her about pg last week before scan cos I was so convinced it would be bad news and she was looking after dd2 so knew I'd have to see her.

Weird, but my car is booked in this week cos it's giving us grief! Hope everyone is back on the road soon.

Thanks, it's good to hear I'm not the only one with crazy cb digi ideas! Have bump envy. mine's teeny tiny, but it is there!

I had to do without my car for three days two weeks ago. was totally lost without it and spent a small fortune on taxi fares. Hope everyone gets their cars going again!

Only symptoms I have so far is v sore, and bigger, boobs. No sickness yet. With my 2DD the only sickness I experienced was for a week at 9 weeks. Still have sore back though. No cramping at all just an almost constant dull muscular pain - has anyone else had this? With my mc's my back pain presented as cramps that came on at time of mc, and got progressively worse. I didn't have any before - Do you think I should go to doctor re this? Todays panic. x

Hello everyone, welcome to new handholders, and cupcake, nice to hear from you and know how you're getting on :)

A few nice little things to report, which I hope brings everyone luck and hope :) Firstly, I can now forget the Leaky Boobs Envy from upthread as I discovered some (TMI) crusty dry milk on there today. Nice work, body!

And the heat...unbearable! Swollen ankles and hands, or what!

And both DH and DS1 have been able to feel kicks from the outside during these past few days!

Amazing considering how scared I was that I wouldn't ever get to this point.

Five sleeps to the next scan...

Hello welliesandpyjamas So glad you've had a good day with kicks and leaks and all those lovely things :o

Look forward to hearing about your scan!

I have had a slightly sore/achey lower back from time to time. I'm sure yr dr would say that it's normal and heartbreakingly if it was a sign of impending mc there's nothing they could do. I guessbit depends on how nice yr dr is and how easy it is to get apt.

spring yr bleeding sounds very worrying, poor u. How come they won't see u til thurs? Seems a long time to wait. Everything crossed for you.