Due in Oct 2012 - part 4!

[Angelico]

Back for more...!

Eek, scan day. Off for a big long country walk to take our minds off it as it's not until 2:40 this afternoon.

Either way will be having some later - a small glass to celebrate, or several large glasses to drown sorrows. I'm trying to be positive but I have a gut feeling (or a missing gut feeling?) that things aren't OK :(. Maybe it's just self preservation, trying not to let myself hope too much as it will make bad news harder to bear if I'm too hopeful?

MickeyTheShortOne it was me who brought up the crap parent thing although reading your story makes me realise that I have very little to complain about. At least having less than good experiences of being parented gives us something to work with, a definite starting point, even if it's just a big long list of "I will never..."! That's a good thing, though, right?

MrsConfusion, I hear you on the well-meaning interest, and that's a good phrase to use! I hate being in the spotlight so I'm dreading telling the family at our big Easter dinner at the weekend - the potential cringeworthiness of someone asking me a question about it and the whole table listening to my answer makes me want to hide in a cupboard and never come out (I'm a bit autistic and don't deal well with large groups of people paying attention to me). Plus just the general nosiness of people (DH, who is far more normal than me, understands that people care and are interested. I just feel like my privacy is being invaded and I don't know how to deal with it). Have to remind myself that people love me and are excited for me, it's the first baby in my generation of my family and they are all thrilled and interested.

LisbethsOpposite, a few Due in October threads ago, said to be prepared for an onslaught of unsolicited advice and interest - I am completely dreading it! Saw a woman yesterday in the local supermarket with a "Hands off my bump" T-shirt, think I'll be getting me one of those! While I'm actually looking forward to the world in general knowing, as I'm fed up with feeling like I need to keep all the pregnancy books hidden in case someone drops round unannounced, and I keep nearly slipping up when talking to people, I know that I need to savour the last few days of privacy. Once I know the bean is OK, I know the biggest mental hurdle for me is going to be people's interest because it will draw attention to me. I like to hide in the background and just watch what's going in, and join in if I feel comfortable, and this will stop that being an option as people will be talking to me about it whether I want them to or not! I'm a very strange girl . DH calls in "endearing" but I think he's just being kind, lol.

Blimey, Yomping, what a load of negative, self-centred drivel. Stop talking now. Go and deal with your irrational fear by drinking more tea.

I hope all you bun ovens (can I borrow that?) are feeling good today, and good luck Guccigirl79 for your scan as well. I'm off to recite positive mantras!

"everything will be fine and people are lovely"
"everything will be fine and people are lovely"
etc

Good luck yomping got everything crossed for you x

YompingJo I know exactly what you mean by lack of 'gut feeling'. I'm over the moon about not feeling ill for the first time in 9 (!) weeks but as I haven't felt any movement yet and haven't had a scan I have this odd feeling that maybe this pregnancy is all in my head. I need proof! I think that is also a self - preservation thing.

Although we have told EVERYONE. It's been a nessecity due to the illness and HUGE bump already.

My midwife took one look at me and said "Have you got twins in your family?!" eek! I have.

Mickey when is you scan? We can count down the seconds days together!

Hey peeps,

Catching up - tenner I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, it's amazing that she's being so upbeat and I'm sure she's glad to have a lifetime friend to talk to about everything. But you do need to take care of yourself and find some people you can lean on x

Nenehooo - just saying hey :)

Yomping hope the cold gets better soon - and as for sleeping, I think you're onto something with the fruit. I have been eating more too to try and 'keep things moving' but if I have it in the evening I really notice I feel very alert and go to bed much later.

Welcome back orange / Purple :)

Lisbeth / DameFlat / anyone else feeling huge - I am well into maternity clothes because they are so super comfy. Friend in work yesterday confessed that she still wears a couple of her pairs (2 years after last DC) because she just loves them so much lol. Have to say my maternity jeans (bargain from Peacocks pre-closing down) are lovely, dark blue, v flattering and give a definite 'bump' because of the band, rather than just looking like flab.

Midget :o at scan and midwives grabbing bosoms - all this joy ahead :o

Mickey you'll be a brill parent because you know exactly what you don't want to be like IYSWIM! So glad you have lots of lovely people around you now.

Gigglewizz know how you feel about the nuchal fold thing - I was cross because after having AN appt cancelled twice I will be 15 weeks when I go. Lovely midwife confessed that they don't even have facilities to do it anyway so was wasted angst. The private scan was very expensive for it here and tbh as my mum said, what would I do about it anyway? For all my fighting talk I suspect I would be too attached to bean to make any difficult decisions anyway. Just keeping fingers crossed.

Hope I haven't left anyone out! Good luck to all with scans approaching :o Holidays have finally started so getting hair done and heading away to a hotel ON, then off to Dublin to meet up with the inlaws - should be great fun! :o

yompingjo I have everything crossed for you. I had my scan yesterday and felt a little like you did - so nervous I was actually sick cleaning my teeth in the morning instead of the usual gagging. Nothing's going to make you feel better til you're in that room and you know one way or another, so keeping my fingers firmly crossed for you.
Can't believe I've seen our baby... I was stuck between crying and laughter the whole time and ruined hearing the heartbeat as I got the giggles. Baby was sucking it's thumb, playing with the cord and had hiccups... Just amazing

Hi angelico! Sorry cross posted! And I too would like to say welcome back wantanorange! I'd love to change my name too... Literally couldn't think of anything when I was registering and was never intending to post, so tried nehoo, as in anyhoo, and someone already had it, so ended up nenehooo... It's not even a word I use ffs!!!

I rather like nenehooo.... I may be a bit odd

Ah thanks midget! Funnily enough, your name would be quite appropriate for me!!!

Good luck with your scan Yomping, will have my fingers crossed for you!! I have just read my post back and I sound pretty ungrateful tbh, my mum is the most fantastic woman you could ever meet and my stepdad brought me up maybe not quite as his own and although we didn't really get on while I lived with them we now get on like a house on fire and he is very excited to become a Grandad.
WantanOrange My scan is Wednesday 11th. It feels like so far away :'( I am really hoping once DP sees the scan he'll get a bit more excited about it.. He seems to be in a bit of denial about it, as this was very unplanned we did not get drunk on brothers birthday and forget about protection, whoops but at the same time I know he would be devastated if anything goes wrong.. Think positive thoughts, positive thoughts!!
I am definately going to go and invest in some maternity trousers now. Work are saying they have no maternity uniform for me... so looks like I will be buying my own!!
Have a lovely day everyone, I'm working til 10 tonight.. Joy.

21, 12 weeks tomorrow!! DC1

VCarroll i would definitley go to the wedding. My best friend is getting married on Oct 6th and my due is Oct 3rd. I am determined to be there. If i am early i'll take the baby. If i am late i will still go (its a 2hours drive) but whats the worse that can happen? You go into Labour there and have your baby at local hospital rather then your home one. I dont see that as too big a deal. Maybe i am naive but i dont want to miss my friends wedding for the world so i'll do everything i can to make it. Plus theyre such great fun... why miss out!?

Hello ladies,

Well my lovely cousin was due to give birth to a baby girl on April 1 and eventually yesterday she gave birth to... a baby boy! The scan just simply had not showed up that he was a boy. Clever baby to pull such a great April Fool's Trick hey?!

Well sadly I've just been told that the maternity cover role I am doing at the moment will not be turned into a permanant one :( I felt a mixture of emotions when they told me because the role I am doing is frankly rather dull, but if I had been made permanent it could have been a lot better and looked great on my CV. However it's a small company and they can't afford another employee. It's hard enough to find a decent job in France as an ex-pat so nigh on impossible when pregnant. So I face, for the first time in my life, 'signing on' for unemployment benefit. I feel guilty because I don't really need to as we are not on the breadline, but it would be an enormous help. And I have paid tax all my working life....

tenner I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and everything else going on.
Yomping Good Luck today!
nenehoo is a great name! And congrats on the scan

32, 12+2, DC1

Well, I can report that the baby is alive, wriggly, stubborn, and camera shy - just like its mother! It was so cool to see it moving (although it seemed pretty chilled out - good sign!) and a relief to see that everything is OK after I was so worried . Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words, they helped a lot . DH is currently in a state of shock and has retreated to the garage to do "man stuff", lol

The baby is also rather older than previously thought, I am now officially 13+6 rather than 12+4. I feel like I have cheated the traditional 40-week pregnancy and fast-forwarded 9 days! This means that the NHS scan next week to measure the nuchal fold will be pointless and I'm annoyed abut that, I had to wait so long for the midwife to get in touch and arrange everything and now it's too late for the screening test I wanted. So instead I will have the quad test, but it worries me a bit that they can't get their shit together properly at my local maternity hospital. Apologies to anyone in the medical profession, feel free to tell me why this is unreasonable of me as it might just be that I don't understand something.

We are having the in-laws over for dinner on Saturday night, so we can tell them, and we were just in Sainsburys and we discovered that you can get photos printed on cakes.... and we hit on the idea of serving cake as dessert, with the ultrasound photo on it, as a way of announcing the pregnancy. It would certainly be funny and would relieve any awkward moments, but we're not sure if this is an awesome plan or a bit weird - thoughts?

MickeyTheShortOne you don't sound ungrateful at all - far from it in fact.

Yomping hurrah. All great news - it wasn't all in your mind - it is an actual baby. I am torn between thinking awesome and weird and am coming down in favour of awesome. I find telling people news like this really embarrassing - don't know why. I was the same telling people I was getting married so it is a great way of doing it.

Smorgs Sorry about the job x

Yompingjo yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! So pleased for you! How funny that yours was all chilled whilst mine was performing for everyone,given my background! It's amazing isn't it?! And I think the cake idea is brilliant :-) just don't give them the original! Oh and talking of scan pics - do not laminate them! a friend of mine did to try to preserve it and the heat turned it completely black nurse saw I was a teacher and warned me, so just thought I'd pass it on...
smorgs sorry to hear about your job. Can see your quandry re benefits, but it's not like you haven't tried to get a job and are just sitting back taking the money! Needs must, and you have a little half french (I assume?) need growing inside you!
Midget thinking positive thoughts with you and hats off to you working til 10... I almost fainted in ikea last night as we were out past 7 - had to sit on a plant pot with my head between my knees sucking a polo and literally haven't been able to get out of bed today, just exhausted. Had to cancel meeting friends so there's been tears and dh is planning a kitchen online so there's been grumpiness too - he thinks it's ok to not be able to open the back door all the way to fit in all the units. I say we get a new door opening outwards as I have to get in and out with baskets of washing as washing machine is outside. Pointed out that I'll soon have a big bump too and he said my pregnancy is not an excuse to get things done that don't need doing!!! Grrrr
Anyway sorry for my mammoth post... I'll bore off now to finish my book - so far since the weekend I've read Coraline by Neil Gaiman, After The Party by Lisa Jewell and just finishing Port Mortuary by Patricia Cornwell... All pretty good for completely different reasons!

Well, i managed to feel good for about 1 day and then came down with a stinking cold! Took the afternoon off work and I doubt that I'm going to make an appearance tomorrow. Our news is now officially out in the open - I'm starting to look really podgy - yup, I'm muffin top-tastic. FIL took the news well, MIL panicking - is this really the type of world to bring a child into.... (she worries a-lot!).

Stay well and enjoy the long weekend.

39, 14+2, #1

Hi all :) - exhausted after mini epic-journey (in the scheme of my usual ones) to purloin a Stokke Xplory pram/pushchair/carry cot thingie. (nice :)).

Great to read everyone's experiences with breastfeeding. Of course I won't know what I'll feel about it until I've done it, or managed to do it at that. I guess my worry is that I'm nearly in a 'J' cup already. Jodidi I read somewhere that your breasts swell to nearly 3 times their size when 'engorged with milk'. Problem is that would make me a K+ cup and not even sure you can get bras that size in Norway and going without good support, at that size, long term is not something I'm sure I could manage and even if I can, the thought of then having to stuff breast pads down it to not publicly leak in my clothes mortifies me :-. I have to hold them up when bra-less as it is . We shall see but it's interesting to hear others' experiences. And yes, VCarroll, how does BF go with going back to work?

Scan congrats to gigglewizz, turnwest, Yomping, Nenehooo and anyone I've missed! It's great to hear your excitement!

Yomping - love the idea with the cake! Really enjoying everyone's original 'reveal' ideas. We were just going to be cliched and put the scan photo on fb. Kills lots of birds with one stone as any people we can tell face to face will know already & our friends & family are mostly on there & spread far and wide. Still trying to think of an original 'spin' to a fb announcement though...

Smorgs - crap about the job. I feel for you. I'm currently without work & also not sure if I'll have any after the baby is born & also in a foreign country (where I don't speak the language well yet) & it is a worry - and one you don't want to have while trying to enjoy the potential excitement of pregnancy x

Mickey - domestic violence is an awful thing to live through. I'm so glad you've got a great Stepdad though. Families come in all shapes & sizes & sometimes those that aren't our blood can be better 'family' than those who are. My MIL is step mum to 5 girls (with 5 step grandchildren) whose mum is a drug addict & now lives in a different country & sees only one of them who is also a drug addict. MIL's an amazing stepmum to them, despite only becoming that since most of them were adults & treats them & their children like her own blood, despite already having 3 sons & 2 grandchildren of her own :). It's like one enormous happy family now despite the hard childhood that they had (their dad is great though & mostly brought them up). Thanks for sharing your story with us :) x

Smorgs I can sympathise - it looks like my job (also mat leave cover) won't be extended either. I'm also not loving my current job but it would've been good to get the extra benefits and know I had a job to go back to. Not sure what to do now after DC2...

Also, DS is being an absolute nightmare this week and is running me ragged. He's had a gastro bug and has been quite poorly, but his behaviour and sleeping have gone utterly pear shaped and I'm exhausted and just constantly trying not to snap at him. Sorry to moan but this has been a tough week, in spite of good news scan.

Congrats too all with good scan news, sorry about the nuchal fold palava YompingJo. I work in the NHS and all I can say is the usual - lack of funding, lack of staffing...many staff do their best but it can never be enough. Of course, many staff don't do their best but hey. True everywhere innit!

Evening all,

Well I haven't done anything today. And I mean nothing. Sat on the sofa, watched TV all day. Amazing. Just what the doctor orderd, I highly recommend it. But what I find is the less I do, the less I feel like doing - caught in a web of slothness and laziness all wrapped up in pregnancy hormones. Even just had a Thai takeout for tea to round the laziness off nicely. And I wore proper maternity pants - bit early, but by george they were comfy. I got Blosson mother and child skinny (ahem) cords in the sale. They are comfy and soft and I haven't had to undo anything even after 3 plates of thai food. Bliss. I rather optimistically got size XS they may only last me a month or two at this rate.

Fjord just to make you less scared of your bazookas taking over a small country mine were a fair pair before I had DD but they never got as big as 3 times the size when the milk came in. I don't really remember leaking much apart from if you missed a feed. In fact I got loads of pads and hardly used any as I just didn't need them. I do however remember the midwife telling me about a lady that she had to make a bra for as they were literally the size of a grown mans head. I think most people aren't that extrememe though. Maybe I am just filtering out the bad bits although I don't think so as I do remember getting mastitis very bloody clearly, not once but 3 times. An illness sent to new mothers by satan himself.

Velo still have my cold and it just seems to magnify the pregnancy/cold crap ratio its a right sod. Hope you feel better soon.

Anyway all that posting is the most I have done all day and it has worn me out - off for some more TV and a lie down. x

DameFlatYouLent Sorry you have been having a rough week. I found it hard not to snap at DD at the moment - I have a much shorter fuse than usual so no wonder you have been struggling if DS has been so ill.They always go all out of kilter when they are poorly and I sure it will all even out soon. No need to apologise for moaning - thats what we are here for. x

Yay on finding a wriggly bean at the scan yomping, know what you mean about panicking beforehand. Sorry to hear that you'll miss the nuchal test window, can understand it's really frustrating but I think the quad test is pretty good too? At my scan the little one wriggled too much and wouldn't stay the right way up so MW couldn't get nuchal measurements, so we're relying on the quad test... Cake sounds fab idea, go for it! We're spending the weekend working through telling various relatives as we see them. Need to phone some people, as we've got a funeral next week and don't think that's a very appropriate place for the news to spread (DH's relatives are unstoppable gossips so once one is told, it'll spread super-quick).

Sympathies to all those with job worries, so the last thing anyone needs :( and everyone suffering with germs and feeling exhausted. I'm sure this stage will pass, meanwhile keep up the TLC and keep sharing on here.

Midgetm - Phew! :) - however I must add the caveat that my boobs were the same size as my head before this recent weight gain let alone pregnancy (as in, I've got a big head and each bra cup fitted it like a beany hat). Mastitis - yee-ouch! A friend had it & it sounds gruesome. Guess that's one of the things not to dwell on the possibility of and cross digits about... Sorry you've still got your cold, envy you your 'do nothing' day (although I've had a few of them in my 1st trimester & have nothing to moan about other than being broke) but it sounds like you really needed it. Enjoy! :)

DameFlat - Ach - sorry you're in a similar position with your job too. Don't be sorry for moaning - blimey! Wet round the ears, naive beginners like myself are in total awe of people who manage being pregnant whilst having other kids to cope with full stop! Must be hard to deal with when you're feeling below par. Don't be hard on yourself. No-one's wonderwoman! :)

Velo, I just realised you are also 14+2 :)

Hmmm ...saying 'no-one's wonderwoman' has unleashed bubbling resentment at my dear mother who tonight, saw fit to launch into a tirade of snorting, huffing criticism about how I'm not managing all my responsibilities in a perfect way at the moment . Irony is, she not only didn't work by choice when I was born (Dad was earning plenty), and only has 1, not 2 SC to contend with, but had a cleaner, a baby minder, someone to come to the house & take away all the laundry and still used to moan that she 'just couldn't cope' & make my Dad do loads of stuff when he came in after a 10 hour working day & hideous commute...bitch shouldn't dare criticise clearing an entire flat of all furniture & belongings, packing them all up in endless tea cartons, endless junk & rubbish management, project managing it's doing-up and about 9 different contractors, trying to tie up all my 'business' in this country and managing a cross-europe emigration/car importation all alone without any help during a not unsymptomatic first trimester in which most of the time I've felt so knackered I could barely lift 2 black sacks of rubbish downstairs without exhausting myself silly nor think straight for more than about 2 hours a day!!! - rant over. Must sneak down & do my stuff in the kitchen while she's asleep in front of Eastenders. Need to NOT see her again this evening if it can be helped... (sorry - just needed to vent - thanks for putting up with it here - just ignore me).

Yaaaay I have 10 days off from tomorrow woo hoo!! :-)

Had a traumatic morning though ladies! This morning I put on a dress for work that is vey rigid an tulip shaped. It has a zip up the side and I seriously injured my finger trying o do that zip up!! Didn't manage o get it up the whole way and so covered it with a cardigan! Trouble is all my work clothes are rather fitted... Think I'm going to be going shopping! I've ordered some maternity skinny trousers off asos and going to look in good old H&M for some floaty tops. I'm so lad to hear others are suffering from the podge! I thought it was at to early to be having these issues!

chrissy what you say makes total sense... Although DH said he doesn't ant his child 'born welsh' lol

yomping I got pushed up by 5 days at my scan and it is the best thing ever - kind of feel like I'm beating the system lol oh and I have to say I LOVE the cake idea!!

Yaaaay to you VCarroll - a) for having 10 days off & b) for still being able to attempt to get into anything fitted or rigid