Due in Oct 2012 - part 4!

[Angelico]

Back for more...!

Tennerlady - that's a huge load on your shoulders. I agree with everyone that you should try to share how difficult you're finding things with your partner. Don't worry about your scan - concentrate on looking after your stress levels. I echo what most of the others have said here. The work thing is tricky but a mistake is that: a mistake. Depending on the industry you work in, mistakes can be costly but if it was obviously nothing deliberate your situation shouldn't be at risk. I also agree it might help to just tell work you're pregnant. Life throws these unfair amounts of shitty times at some people sometimes & there's no fairness about it & it's really hard. I've just come out of a nightmare few years and these times do pass but a) that doesn't help at the time & b) being pregnant on top of even trying to deal with it is hard to handle. What I learned from my horrendous time was that the more people who know what you're going through, the more people can empathise, cut you some rope and if you're lucky, support you. Not everyone knows how but if you don't share you don't give them that chance. Lots of hugs & don't hesitate to come here for support when you need it x

WantAnOrange, welcome back :) Sorry to hear you've been so ill, and glad to hear you are better.

turnwest thanks, I've spent ages being jealous of other peoples' scans and now mine is so imminent, I'm not jealous anymore, I'm scared! . Not helped by feeling totally crap today when I had been feeling OK for a while.

Going to treat myself to and a . Just one , mind, otherwise the sugar gets to me and I get biscuit rage which is not a pretty sight and has DH running for cover.

Morning all!

HaggisNeepsTatties - congrats on your scan experience! I think they should all be encouraged not to stay still so we can look for longer? Have a great holiday :)

Jodidi I feel like I've told loads of people but not really. I've told 2 people I don't know very well, the 2 mums, step dad in law, 2 of my cousins & one close friend and DP has told a good friend/work colleague who is also my age & pregnant only a few weeks apart from me - so he can compare notes I think . It's super hard not to tell others but I'm holding out 'cos it wouldn't be fair on the half sisters if the whole world new before them.

DameFlat - with the thread change I didn't get to thank you for the 'Baby led weaning' thing. I've had a look at it - it's interesting stuff. Does seem silly that we give pureed food if we don't need to. However, can't say I might not be overwhelmed with anxiety giving a piece of meat to a 6 month old to see how they might deal with it. I'll read more about it though. It's on my wavelength at least!

Also made me think about another thing that I'm not sure I want to bring up (as people have such differing views about it and a certain school of thought is very militant) and that's the whole breastfeeding until when debate. I was fully weaned at 6 months & stopped breast feeding then & so were most of my peers & I have never seen any depleted immune systems or anything. It's hard to make your own decision on this issue as it's very easy to feel 'bullied' or like you're somehow being a selfish or inadequate mother by prevailing views. Anyway all, feel free not to chime in on this one as I don't want to provoke a bun fight ;-) but hey, I mean, if you want to...
Glad to see that a few agree with me on feeding the little ones though; YompingJo & also turnwest - really interesting to hear your experiences with this as that is more or less exactly what I plan to do!

Welcome back Wantanorange - sorry you found it stressful on here before. Hope you'll stay this time :).

Oh and Squid - yes 'Mor' is 'mother' in Norwegian although the equivalent of 'Mummy' is 'Mama'. Haven't yet decided what I want to be. I will be talking English to our little one but I guess I'll let him/her decide what they want to call me. I'll try not to encourage him/her to call me 'old bint' .

41, #1, 13+3 & most definitely not an old bint or fat cow

This one lady at work has gone from saying twins to triplets! Put all my weight right in my belly i guess.

Weekend trip was good, and tolf extended family. That was fun.

Hope you all are well.

It's now april, wondering if we should start a proper list again.

Hi Wantanorange Welcome LPP
I think Missbone fell out with mumsnet over some posts and might have been banned - i think you were on here the time of the kefuffle, it involved another thread. Posts were deleted so not quite sure what happened, but she was very active on here and was missed.

I namechanged too - no big reason. My first time on mumsnet was when I was pregnant and I named myself Heartburn. It described me at the time. When I came back preggers a year later I forgot I'd even had heartburn so I felt the name didn't suit. I'd just finished reading 'Girl with a Dragon Tattoo' where Lisabeth is a computer whiz, antisocial, 4ft something skinny tattooed pierced bisexual girl - everything I can think of that I am not - hence the new name

Tennerlady
God that is very heavy stuff. Your poor dear friend.
It's no wonder you'd make a mistake at work.
This site is good but it sounds like you need more support in RL. We all have stressful chapters in our lives but this sounds like too much all at once, especially to cope with, without the support of your DH or best friend. Would you consider counselling?
I think legally it's hard to fire anyone while pregnant, if that's any consolation- not sure on that...

BTW I love hearing from people complaining about their big middles/muffin tops/ twin/triplet potential. Compadres.

I am well sick of the despair at still fitting your skinny jeans brigade. Yes includes you Squid, your fat day will come .

My DH would adore your measurements. I am also 34-36 DD/E, but I'm a size 14. You are a model with boobs, no wonder your DP can't understand when you find fault with yourself

Hi everyone! I'm feeling really excited and happy today - I've started to feel loads better in myself and has made a HUGE difference... you almost forget what it was like not to feel ill all the time!! Still got the tiredness.. but can live with that!

jodidi I'm telling everyone now I've had my scan. Before then I had told my boss, my best friend and very close family.

Fjordmor You're brave with the breasfeeding! Ha ha. Although I think the people who frequent this post nowadays are an amenable bunch (not looking to inflame or cause trouble) so I think it's great to promote discussion. I personally will try and breasfeed and will see how I get on. My s-i-l has a 7 month old and is still breasfeeding and I think she's a hero. I also have a friend who only breast fed for 8 weeks - she tried it, she struggled and went on to formula (she was crying cos it hurt so much and the baby was very irritable all the time as he never seemed to get enough). I think we all want what is best for our babies and although I might wonder about people who refuse to even try it at all, after that it's about your own circumstances and how you get on. I think people are made to feel SO GUILTY if they don't breastfeed and that's wrong. It's not liek you're substuting it with poison!

Afternoon all, tennerlady I'm sorry you're having such an awful time. It sounds like you might be reaching breaking point - please take care of yourself and please talk to someone in RL.

Welcome back wantanorange! I've been tempted to namechange too but actually my nickname suits me to a tee at the moment

Muffin tops ahoy here, lisbethsopposite. They weighed me at my scan yesterday - and didn't even let me have a wee first or take my shoes off! The number was horrifying. Had to go and have a bar of chocolate to calm myself down Actually, anything fattening or sugary (ie delicious) makes me feel unbelievably ill so nothing like that for me at the moment

FjordMor baby led weaning can be a bit...nervewracking, I suppose - I did it with DS, and started with well-cooked, soft veggies that he could hold (e.g. carrot batons, broccoli, avocado - er, don't cook that!) and fruit. It took him a while to get to grips with it but he eats brilliantly now, and the best thing is, he eats what we eat, when we eat. I'm always starving at mealtimes and it's been great to eat together, rather than spoon-feeding him then eating myself. It's fun but very messy. Hmm, sound like a BLW cheerleader, but I suppose I am a bit. I'll definitely be doing it again.

Anyone have any inklings about the flavour of their bean? I'm thinking pink here...but not too bothered either way!

Ooh, and we should start putting a list together again - we stopped earlier because of all the early MCs

Dame I am DEFINITELY having a boy!

DameFlat - I'm 99% sure my 'bean' must be blue-flavoured and will fall off the scanning couch I'm sure if told it's a girl at 20 weeks! ALL the old wives tales gender predictors come out 'blue' and the wee thing is a bruiser!!

VCarroll - so glad you're feeling good :) x. Don't get me wrong, I'm planning on breastfeeding, oh yes, but was rather hoping to stop around 6 months. Everywhere I read women going on until 1 year and apparently now the WHO recommends continuing for 2 years! Just not sure how I feel about perpetually producing milk for more than 6 months and not super-convinced it makes that much difference to the health of baby onward into life. That's my stance. I don't judge women who choose not to, I'm pro-choice in every way, and I don't judge women who carry on until their child skips over opens their blouse and says 'I want booby NOW' but I have to say, it's not my cup of tea. Having said that, I'm not pushing this as a discussion but already, with what I read, am feeling somewhat pressurised that I should be considering carrying on longer than 6 months & I'm not sure how to feel about it. I have enormous boobs (34H before getting pregnant) and I'm not comfortable with how they'd be 'housed' in bras or clothes long term if they swell to 3 times the size let alone how I'd be supposed to find comfort or how I cope with boobs that size constantly leaking & oozing everywhere. The idea of it makes me feel quite depressed :-. But then I feel like it would make me a hideously selfish mother to put my needs & comfort over what may be best for the baby!

yomping biscuit rage, that made me laugh!! Well scan was fine, baby moving all over the place, feel so relieved. Good luck for tommorrow but I m sure you ll fine too.

dame they weighed me too, which I was nt expecting, I ve managed to put 7 pounds on already and I m only short so it really shows. It's gone on my belly too, and I too have a muffin top when I sit down. Having Chinese tonight but then that's it, going to try harder. I hardly put any weight on with first pregnancy so don't understand, diet is healthish. Could be my age I suppose, and Chinese and cake does nt help! Lol.

fjord I tried and failed with breast feeding and felt bad about failing for months, especially as health visitor mentioned it constantly. I going to try it again, but I just wanted to say do what you think is right for you, not what others think.

fjord omg I will be well pleased with myself if I manage to 6 months I really don't think I will go beyond that especially as I'll probably have to go back to work then. 2 years... Are you kidding me?! Lol

turnwest congrats on the scan!!! Also on he breaks feeding... My friend really struggled and stopped after 8 weeks and sad her health visitor made her feel really guilty too I do sympathise. I agree it should be individual choice

Thanks lady's for your kind words and advice Im off work for a week now so not going to think about that my friend had her first stint of chemo today and managed to Make a joke of it by saying she still got her hair so if she can be positive with everything that's happening to her then what have I to complain about ..... Now regarding breast feeding my last was 8 weeks early so he wouldn't latch on so I was expressing milk and feeding him for about 3mths but felt I was constantly expressing then trying to feed then starting process again but I'm going to give it a go again this time but won't be going on till they are 1 more like 6mths wen they weaned x

Evening all, hope those with scans today have all gone well. Getting place marked on thread #4.
vcarroll we're due on the same day! Wedding decision is tricky, and will of course depend on how you feel, but a close friend of mine made it to a wedding 2 weeks before due day, at other end of the country. Needed regular sit-downs and couldn't dance as much as she wanted, otherwise all fine.
tennerlady so sorry to hear everything is so tough at the moment, sounds like a time to draw on all the support you can and get through one day at a time. big and hugs.
jodidi we've managed not to tell anyone, apart from my physio who needed to know, and now this week we're telling family and I'm bizarrely nervous! I've got kind of used to keeping the secret and to being private about it, and suspect there will be a lot of (very well meaning) involvement from now on, so making most of last couple of days of just us knowing. Does that sound really ungrateful? Families will be great, but if our wedding last year is any clue, we will need to manage their behaviour to avoid getting swamped!
Really looking forward to being able to get back to some of the things I usually eat, hope that the 2nd trimester magic kicks in soon...
So tired tonight, DH out so might sneak off to bed....

Evening all, quick post from my iPhone so no long name checking but had to tell you the shame of my scan today (RMC scan, 12 week scan is next week). Their view was somewhat obstructed by a smog of 'gas'. The poor bean was swimming in a sea of my farts! Oh the shame.

mrsc I know what you mean about it's nice keeping it secret. Planning on telling my family this weekend as won't see them for a while but would really rather not yet. No idea why but I like it being secret in a weird way.

DD was BF up to about a year. Given the choice I think she would have still been doing it now, which I for one would not be comfortable with at all. I was basically told not to bother as DD was LBR and needed high calorie food straight away. It was a rocky start and I had some really good support and help from a breast feeding support person at the hospital and managed to convert DD to BF exclusively. I was so lucky to have that help as I would have given up on my own and other HCP's just said don't bother. I am so glad I did. Makes you feel all happy, helps you loose weight and you don't have to get out of bed to warm up a bottle )lazy option always wins with me). Have had friends who have been made to feel like total failures for not being able to BF and that makes me so mad. Their children and just fine and they have bonded just as well, the guilt that goes with bottle feeding is just way too much IMO.

Night night you lovely bean ovens x

PS if you do breast feed get me tally prepared for midwifes grabbing your boobs and aking personal remarks about the shape and size of your nipples...

VCarroll Congrats on your new non-sicky status. I cannot wait for mine to arrive.

Had solid meetings from 3-6.30pm today and squirmed all the way through. Had to keep popping out to wretch (quietly) in the toilets. Is anyone else still suffering or is it just me (obviously sorry if you are but it would be nice to know :) )?

I'll chip in with my breastfeeding experience. I bf dd1 for 13 months having started by saying I'll give it a go and see how it goes. Dd2 turned 2 last month and is still bf. She is one that merrily climbs on my lap, wriggles down and shouts 'boobies out now mummy', she usually has 2-3 feeds per day, more if she's ill, less if we're busy. Again, I started with I'll give it a go, then since it was going well there just never seemed to be a good reason to force the issue of stopping. 2 years ago I used to think anyone who continued to bf past about a year was completely bonkers 'a bit odd' but here I am doing it, and contemplating tandem feeding dd2 with this new baby. A lot of people seem to think I should be weaning her now she's walking and talking, and definitely now I'm pregnant again, but I still can't see why I should force her to stop something she so obviously enjoys when it really doesn't bother me very much. We don't do it in public now as we do get funny looks, but in the privacy of our own home I'll let her continue as long as she wants (within reason, I really don't think I'll still be feeding her when she starts school).
So basically what I'm saying is, you may be surprised at how long you end up breastfeeding. Be prepared to have to fight for the right support if you have problems though, as nhs bf support can be a bit hit and miss. I know round here a couple of mw/hv are fantastic at helping when there are problems where others suggest formula at the first hint of an issue, even when the mother wants to continue with exclusive breastfeeding. Oh and fjordmor, I have massive boobs too, I was a 36G before I got pg with dd2, and have been a 38H since she was born, so there wasn't that much difference in size definitely not 3 times as big.

I'm another BLW cheerleader. I puree weaned dd1 (now 12) at about 14 weeks (following hv advice as she was a big and hungry baby). Dd2 I waited til 6 months and did BLW, it was so much easier! No pureeing, no stress when she didn't want to be spoonfed. I just altered our family meals so there was minimal amounts of salt, dished some up onto her tray and left her to get on with it. I don't know that it's necessarily made her less fussy, but she is definitely happy to try new things which dd1 won't do.

Hiii everyone. Marking my place on the new thread, blimey we talk well!!
Well I can't remember anything so congrats to those with healthy scan news, those in their second trimester (nearly nearly there!!!)
I'm STILL WAITING FOR MY SCAN :( I have another week to go and I'm starting to get a bit paranoid now!!! I just want to see it healthy and alive :(

Jodidi I've told everyone I know- including old overbearing grandmother- well actually I didn't tell her myself but when you live in a small village everyone knows everything- it didn't stay secret for long!!

As far as home vs hospital births go I really wanted a home birth. However due to complications with ancient medical history the midwife would prefer me to be in hospital, and when she explained why I could kind of see her point of view. The thought of two brother in laws possibly sat downstairs maybe is swinging me to hospital as well... hahahaha
I want to at least try breast feeding. I hear different stories from everyone- "bottle fed babies sleep better", "babies bond better when breast fed" and personally i think its all a load of tosh. I think everyone should do what feels right for them and what would be most practical. After discussing it with my lovely mum who has started babyproofing the garden already LOL I figure breast feeding would be most practical in terms of getting up in the night and possible living situations, etc etc. She breast fed all three of us but stopped at about 9 months with each of us and she just couldn't carry on. Especially my sister as she was a right little shit!

Its a long time since I've posted but I also wanted to comment on the whole crap parent thing etc etc (I apologise I can't remember who posted about it first). I am determined to be the exact opposite of my father who beat my mum black and blue until she finally had the courage to kick him out for good. He then left and I have not seen him since the age of 1. He has since had at least two more children and did the exact same thing to the second. The third has (unfortunately? I wouldn't know) been subjected to his company since he was born. I can only hope he hasn't inflicted the damage he did to myself and my half brother. My grandmother (mentioned earlier) has always stuck up for him and has never seen the light. She is a raging alcoholic and was an absolute nightmare when I was little. She then disappeared off the radar for a few years and turned up on my 16th birthday telling me she was my nan, and has since made my life hell. She has found out that I am upduffed, and has consequently assumed that she is going to be a "great grandmother".
Not on my life. She has never been a "Nana" to me and will certainly never be having anything to do with my child, and I am determined to tell her all this soon.
My child has several sets of grandparents (lucky thing! it'll be spoilt rotten), one seriously ill with cancer, (my stepdads mum) and I will do my utmost to make sure bubba knows it's Nanny and how important she is to me!!!

There. Apologies for the rant but it helps to get it all off my chest, and I understand everything that you're all feeling.
Much love to you bean ovens. Hope you have good sleeps that aren't interupted by ridiculous dreams!!! Mine are bordering on insane now!
xxx

Hi all, marking my place on new thread. Stats are 37 dc2 14+1 which I found out today on my first Nhs scan which made me too late for the nuchal test, quite annoyed that they messed this up. I went for a private scan at 11+6 and the info was sent to the hospital down the road but they still got the nuchal scan date in too late. Anyway, will do the blood test as well but to be honest i don't think I really rate their 80% result much.

One last grumble, due date was 6th, 3rd and then 29th Sept, now its back to 2nd October, what a selection!

Still smiling though, I saw my baby today and sooooo excited!

Good night all

Reported

here

Reported again for good measure.