Due in Oct 2012 - part 4!

[Angelico]

Back for more...!

sorry for typos and punctuation errors- i know some of you are very hot on all that. You would think I would be after proofing reports this week. In my defence, I am on my phone that I can not for the life of me work and I am being jumped on by ds who is currently pretending to be postman pat climbing up me, my role being 'greendale crag'. Better go and be a better Mummy and actually play with him!! Oh dear!

Hey peeps, have been lurking for the last couple of weeks, trying not to obsess about the spotting etc.

Anyway pressure feeling has eased massively in last week and a half since everything started moving up and spotting isn't worrying me so much.

Just had 20 week scan and all is well. We asked for sex of baby... pre-pregnancy I really wanted a girl but all the way along I have been SURE it is a boy.

It's a girl!!! And I'm really happy - but now there's a bit of me thinking, "Ah, my poor boy!" lol. At this stage I would honestly have been happy either way.

Oh - and my mum just said that she thought she was having a girl with my brother, they scanned her a week before and said it was a girl - then this bean with bits popped out!

Hope you're all well, sorry to run have to go to work. I have been following all the posts with interest. xo

ps: Anyone being driven mad with itchy legs in bed? It feels like it's actually INSIDE my legs, nearly like vein stuff

Hi Angelico, I wondered where you were.
Yomping Your party would be my social hi-light these days. I have not been out in the evening in weeks, pushing onto months. I could go to bed at 8pm, no bother. Seen more of Judge Judy (my guilty pleasure, I record her) than the pub.
Bella I can so relate - that kind of role ambiguity is stressful. Is there ££ involved in the role as HoD? Will your colleague feel himself hard done by for doing a role FT that he is only paid part time for?

I work 4 days a week. HR told me I can take unpaid leave as I like (one good thing in our recession - I am in RoI). Will think hard re going to 3 days.

My symptom today - I feel like I want to cry.
No particular reason. I just feel out of sync with the world and I'd fancy a good cry.
I don't have lots of the symptoms described here. I used to suffer a little from restless legs before I got pregnant. Angelico. I think I was more prone to it after exercise so I was careful to drink fluids - google restless legs. Someone told me to try bananas.
My skin and hair are great.
I suffer from emotional diarrhea and I want to cry and wine tastes crap and DH think I'm nuts - think he is a little afraid of me.

My 20wk is a 2pm today. Gotta go and eat lunch. Thought I did not want to know sex now not sure. Oh yes, incapable of making a decision.

Angelico- Congratulations So does it make it 2 boys, 1 girl on this thread so far?

www.amazon.co.uk/Wild-Wolf-Trumpette-Tea-Drops/dp/B003KTM4FW/ref=sr_1_225?m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1337338909&sr=1-225

How cute

Folks... just a quick public service announcement... I have a day off and am being nice to myself... the Torres Natureo dealcoholized white wine is totally drinkable. Not as nice as normal white wine, I grant you, but as an acceptable substitute, I think this is perfectly fine. Asda sold it to me for about £4.

Angelico - good luck with scan.

Hi ladies,

wantanorange, Londonmrs, yompingjo, Beccus, lizbethopposite, squidkid, thanks for the sage advice. I think you really nailed it orange with that thing about 'not rejecting the child you have, mourning the one you don't have'. That's pretty much it in a nutshell right there!

I think I was accidentally exhausted too. After my whinge, I watched six episodes of my favourite cooking show ('good eats', it's American) and fell asleep on the couch!

Now I feel far calmer about the pending boychild. I've 'unpacked' some of the things that were upsetting me and, should it be of use to any of you lot, I came back with...

1. I'm worried the boy will be skinny and picked-on because, bless him, DH was. (Though quite a looker now, in his youth DH had some of the most extreme orthodontic work you can imagine (four teeth out!) and the most hardcore of acne drugs. To this day he's so narrow across the shoulders he can't buy suits or shirts off the peg. He was clever and spotty and did drama - so of course he was bullied to bits.) So I imagined my baby as some poor oily bespectacled over-sensitive poppet in a world of Big Bruisers - which he won't necessarily be.

2. In the same vein, I imagined a girl child kind of as 'me done right' - the headstrong enthusiasm but with the impulsive/crazy-making/horrible edges knocked off (by me, because clearly, I can get myself right the second time). Any pink-loving demure little thing would have confused the life out of me.

3. DH wanted a girl so much, he didn't even consider 'boy' as a possibility (that's actually true!). And (you know what's coming, right?) I felt like I'd let him down.

4. There's a big Family Story that my side 'aren't good at men'. We joke about it - no-one in the last generation through (it's a post-Catholic family and my Grandad had two wives, so, there's a lot of people in that list) is male, apart from my Uncle (learning disability, not a nice man, dead in his mid-50s) and some cousin I've never met (stopped talking to us 20+ years ago). For the rest, the men are all married in. (Illustration: when I took DH to his first big family gathering, the menfolk swept in, pulled him away, gave him a whiskey and proceeded to give him a lecture on What He Was Getting Himself Into. He came back pale and shaking.) (Really, I'm not joking.) (No, really I'm not.)

Now here are some good things about us in particular having a boy (skipping all the generically nice things about boys):

1. Now that I think about it, on both sides we have a fairly decent number of instances of pretty (shh, don't tell them) neurotic women. So even if characteristics are heritable, I'm as likely to get an unhappy, sly, oddling girl as a headstrong shouty run-around girl like me. (The boys I know on DH's side are pretty cruisy... but, as above, I don't have any so can't compare.)

2. I think I know what kind of parent I'll be - the kind that treats a toddler a bit like a clever dog (don't look at me like that! ) Lots of pats and cuddles, sure, but strong direct commands and an expectation of obedience (followed by Trouble should it not be forthcoming.) That is more socially acceptable with a boy!

3. A girl would have put both DH and I into default mode - we know about girls, our friends are mostly girls, our friends that have babies have girls, and we both grew up with sisters. Now we won't be able to parent the baby on assumptions, because we don't know what to assume about boys! So we will have to find out what our own way is - and then, do it.

4. If we ever do have a girl, the lucky duck will have the best big brother ever.

I think I know what kind of parent I'll be - the kind that treats a toddler a bit like a clever dog (don't look at me like that! ) Lots of pats and cuddles, sure, but strong direct commands and an expectation of obedience

This is exactly how I parent/childmind. It's really not that different from having a Labrador!

TBH I would parent a boy or a girl the same way. They are what we make them. However, I do worry that the majority of society does not think this way, and I think I would feel more frustration while raising a girl, due to other peoples treatment and expectations of her.

And on the subject of skinny boys, my husband is very skinny, and in my humble opinion, quite yummy......

Lanky geeks are hot imo

EXACTLY, wantanorange! Refuse to back down against a stubborn little girl, and people think you're bad and weird!

(I have honestly rejected a couple of boy names already on the basis that they'd sound ridiculous shouted. Imagine - 'TARQUIN! PUT THAT DOWN!' - it sounds ridiculous!) (Not that I'd name a child 'Tarquin', but you get the idea!)

DH is the very definition of a lanky geek. IMO, he's super-hot. (Little do those scrawny defeated teenagers know how much lady appreciation they're going to get in their 30s, eh?) Glad to see there are some fellow lanky geek afficionados on the thread

Evening all! And congrats to all successful scannees!

Zoe congrats on the boy - it's great you've got this time to adjust. You'll love having a boy - they're fab (not in any way biased!). I'm terrified of having a girl and having to deal with the teenage years - argh.

Angelico glad everything's easing on the old pelvic floor, and congrats on the girl!

lisbeth I'm having a cry day today. No idea why. Just feel a bit blue and teary. strange, isn't it? Yomping I think if I come to your party I'll be bringing copious amounts of chocolate. I have a mini bottle of prosecco in the fridge I might break into tonight (I love bubbly and it seems such a waste opening a whole big bottle) in honour of the celebration. Hmm, not sure what music to bring. Shall I cheese it up and bring the Abba?! All I listen to these days is children's songs (scream) so am a bit out of touch!

My scan's on Monday, nervous and excited. Suddenly in the last few days I've finally got a bump but what's weird is, it's the baby far, far below, still hiding behind my bladder, just pushing the contents of my abdomen up and out. Fake bump alert!

Anyone else getting nasty muscle cramps? Am surviving the nights by drinking a large glass of tonic before bed (doesn't help the toilet visits) but I've started getting them in the day too. There's only so much tonic I can drink!

Hello everyone. Apologies for gatecrashing, I do lurk on this thread but never really posted.

Just wanted to add to the gender debate. I have a DS, but would love a girl. Zoe, best our children never get together, as if I were to have a girl she might be distinctly Miranda-esque . I have 20 week scan on 7th June, and am not going to find out (unless it's waggling its willy around like DS was-might be hard to miss then!)

Nice party by the way Yomping, is there anything barbecue flavoured? Or cashew nuts? Am also craving apples mind you, so it's not all bad!

squid my bump looks like that when I'm lying flat on my back, it just all hangs out unattractively when I stand up!

Me: 28, DC2, 17+3

Well, I've just come back from my midwife appt - got to hear the heartbeat All I know is that this child is already taking after it's parents as it has a stubborn streak a mile wide...12wk scan it was upside-down and refusing to move, trying to hear the heartbeat today and the midwife was chasing it around my tummy as the little pickle deliberately kept moving the moment she pinned it down!

On the discussion of geeky boys...not only is my DH tall (6ft3), thin and lanky, he is very geeky (synthetic organic chemist based in research and development) and also had ginger hair - best way to picture him is as Beaker out of the Muppets . I've been with him for 13 years - I fancied him from the minute I first saw him, he's always been a proper gentleman, he's gorgeous (I think he looks like Ewan McGregor from his Trainspotting era) and he has a very cute arse He always got bullied at school (as did I) but I would tell you to keep all the popular blokes in the world just so I could keep my geek!

31, 16+6, #1

Kyyria I love your geek fairytale

Geeks are the new footballers - there are loads of wannabe wags tyring to hook up with next Mark Zuckerburg. The ladies will all be fighting over him, Zoe :)

I recommend the babyshow, fellow 1st time mummies. Who knew you can't connect any old bottle to your breast pump and how crappily unsupportive moses basket mattresses are! Best of all, you can order the display furtniture and it's 50% off and the prams are 40% off. You just pick them up 5pm after the show ends on sunday. Guttered to be missing out on my bargain dream pram because i'm a london gal and can't mission back up to birmimgham on sunday to collect it :(

I will bring icecream and sparkling mineral water to the party. Depending on my mood, i will either bring my relaxing song play list for the bean with bitter sweet symphony and the like on it, my rock playlist, with marilyn manson, or my dance playlist with all kinds of brilliant 90's music from snap and cand c music factory....i've probably just had my invite retracted :)

Seems I'm always trying to catch up, never finding time to post these days. :)
Well, here I am - usually after everyone else has gone to bed (or is at work - doh!).

DSD1 worries and articles (now 3 - ended up volunteering for an extra one due to guilt over extending a deadline) keeping me busy - as well as most of my shipping arriving - 11 boxes/tea chests in the hall and nowhere to put them at the moment...

Some news and SO much to comment on so I'll split it up.

Firstly, Yomping, sorry I'm late to the party (story of my life). I would like to bring:
Nibbles - Swedish cabbage ('pizza') salad - can't get enough of it at the moment...it's my healthy craving and since it goes with pizza I'll bring one of those too (a nice, proper Italian one - standard of pizza is dreadful in Norway).
Topic of convo - all I seem to talk to people about these days is bras or breast-feeding so I guess boobs :)
Music - Would have to say 'Kung Fu Fighting' since our little Ninja is starting to be felt!!! :) :) :) or perhaps 'Blue Moon' since DP has decided that's our 'bump' song because he wants to indoctrinate the poor tyke to be a City fan.

Anyone else doing the 'bump song' thing where you sing/play one song 'to the bump' and the baby is supposed to associate that song with relaxing and going to sleep once they're out and you can use it like a lullaby?

Bear with me...I'm just getting warmed up... .

Yay for everyone's scans and yay! for all feeling movement. 16 weekers - don't despair. I too have been in this frustrated 'need to feel it' state for about 4 weeks and yesterday, just as I was moaning on to my MIL about how I'm not feeling anything yet, the little ninja starts somersaulting, kicking and generally dancing around (I was at a noisy family party; I think he/she clearly likes a crowd! - much quieter today now it's just me & DP and DP's dying to feel him/her! I think lots of loud noise (laughter, music, babies screaming) might be the key .

Midgetm - Hope you're having a lovely time in Spain...well jel

Yomping - congrats on reports - must feel like a massive achievement. Hope you're having a bit of a rest/treat after all that!

squid - that's a lovely looking bump :) Wish mine was half as neat and cute! Maybe one of these weeks I'll scare you all senseless with a pic of mine?

lisbethopposite - I don't think 140/82 is much to worry about BP wise. It's the bottom number that's of real concern and 82 is not very elevated. I think a nurse once told me the top number can rocket when you're a bit tense but squid would be able to put me right on that I expect.

londonlivvy - Fingers crossed that your cervix result was within normal limits and also fingers crossed that the flat stuff all works out for you. That will soon be my worry I'm sure. With my flat barely on the market yet, we will by only buying in my early 3rd trimester and I'll be lucky if we get moved in before I drop but has to be done as there's no room for a baby in this flat.

Hi ladies, just popping in to say hi and to give some moral support to ZOE! I think it's fantastic that you are having a boy, congrats and I am so pleased you were honest.

I had my 20 week this morning and saw an absolutely perfect beautiful baby! I am desperate for a girl so I went private this afternoon to see the gender. Well I made the lady check 3 times ... Its a frank and beans! DS1 came with me and was jumping on the chair yelling 'let's call it Luke Skywalker'. (big Star Wars phase going on in our house!). I managed to keep a stiff upper lip till I dropped him off then I sat in the car around the corner sobbing my heart out. I love this little boy already, I am honestly grieving for the daughter I had hoped for and wished for. So I know how you feel.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Have a good weekend
20+5 ds2 37

yes, fjordMor, i have a whole playlist of songs :)

This makes v. interesting reading for anyone considering getting a 2nd hand breast pump:

mythnomore.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/why-you-shouldnt-buy-sell-or-borrow.html

Oh gigglewizz - how lovely! Couldn't they tell you at your 20 week?

I wanted to chime in on the gender issue as I relate to so many of you who have posted about it - especially Zoeplankton.

I too have ended up with my heart set on a boy. I think of it as a boy. I want a boy and with my scan on Tuesday, I know it's going to be a massive shock if it's a girl and I may well react just as you have Zoe. Before it was just a preference but with the recent nightmares with my teenage step-daughter, I dread facing that stage with a girl when I'm in my fifties. Boys get a bit monosyllabic but you don't get all this high-maintenance bitch-teen stuff. I really want a boy. I will love a girl with all my heart if one comes out as she will be me & DP's little creation but I will worry x 20 for how her life will be. Ah well - que sera sera and I will learn that what fate gives me is what's meant to be. Would be lying if I didn't say I was praying for a boy right now though.

I should be so silly though - the scan may show up a lot more things to worry about - like squid or perhaps even show I'll need an elective/early induction - heaven knows what those fibroids are up to at the moment! I need to focus more on just hoping that it's healthy and I can incubate it well up until the right time!!

Zoe - I'm also with you and WantanOrange in the dogs/kids 'the behavioural training's not that different' camp. I believe in masses of love, support and positive reinforcement but I'm also strict and believe in authority, respect and firmly enforced rules. Seems so old school these days but DP is not like that and his teen and pre-teen are walking all over him with a massive lack of respect and I warn him that if he doesn't get strict and show them he means business our lives will be pretty miserable in a couple of years.

Symptom wise - I've currently got rather dry skin, which gets itchy if I don't moisturise enough...and it doesn't usually get like that here as the water's so soft. Also having lots of unexplainable tears. Softie/sentimental 'awww that's so lovely' tears usually - happy/touched ones. But thank GOD for waterproof mascara! Also, after moaning about not feeling my LO, now lots of somersaults that feel like 'twisting' and more bubbles and what might be hiccups :). Still not that consistent but getting more often/obvious. HOORAH!

londonlivvy - my MW was lovely! She didn't even weigh me. She said 'We don't really care about weight - it's not a 'medical' concern'! So I got away with just getting my urine pot dipsticked...no blood...LOTS of chatting and leaflets and a lovely minute or so of listening to the heartbeat (quite fast 150 or something :)). Oh and also my BP was 120/80 so I was well chuffed. Have been worrying big time it was elevated - it felt so over the stressful w'end with DSD1 - red face and headachey/dizzy. Looking forward to my scan on Tuesday and DP is VERY excited. He's getting VERY broody - caught him smiling like a softie at baby-vids on YouTube tonight (awwww :)). Hope the little ninja kicks for him soon...I predict a tear from him at the scan.

Hope you've all got lovely weekends planned. I'm just writing articles and relaxing with DP (and no DSCs!) after a rather manic week. (I promise that's all for now! ).

Ooh Beccus (cross-posted) - a whole playlist? How many do they reckon incubating LO can familiarise with? (I haven't read about this theory in depth - just saw a bit in my pregnancy book). Maybe I should be thinking of adding a few more to the repertoire? What do you think?

Oh no... bella2012 I did not mean you upset me with your experiences... that was good to know... I was referring to a couple of people in real-life (who haven't had kids) who seem to think a c-section is an easy option. I am really glad it all worked out in a way you were happy with in the end.

I am not upset about it any more, I am convinced placenta is going to move, and it's not that close anyway.

It's funny how attached we all are to the idea of a boy or girl isn't it... part of why I didn't find out was cause I'm sure holding a real live baby will make any thoughts of which-gender vanish with the excitement and triumph. Whereas scans are a bit odd and hard to relate to (well I find them that way anyway.) I still desperately want a boy so I keep calling baby "she" and deliberately thinking of girls' names and ways to combat all the awful girl-stuff in our world to prepare myself for the inevitable!

fjordmor enjoying your updates and that you're feeling better.... I'm with you on the boy camp... everyone I knew as a kid had such bitchy sisters! Whereas my brothers were just lovely and chilled out and thoughtful and cool and we never (rarely) fought (and if we did, I started it!) Maybe a cry after a scan is normal anyway (I howled for hours about the placenta thing, now I've decided it's barely a worry at all)... so much invested in it all. I really feel for zoe and gigglewizz... though I want to hug gigglewizz's adorable son... Luke Skywalker, so cute!

My sister in law sent me a message saying her two kids (an 8 year old girl and a 4 year old boy) were arguing about what gender my kid will be and ended up chanting BOY BOY BOY GIRL GIRL GIRL at each other over breakfast. They are so cute. Can't wait to go on holiday with them soon.

On the topic of skinny pretty men, well like most girls I always fancied them too and boyfriend makes sulky comments about it sometimes, but we have been together many many years and he is a gorgeous tall confident sociable bearded grizzly bear of a man, big and broad and clearly beer-loving without being fat, and when he pins me down in bed I can't think I'd prefer it any other way now :)

I've got my 20 week scan a week on Tuesday and really looking forward to it. I'm worried too though - worried that there might be something wrong with the baby and worried in case of low lying placenta / placenta praevia - having had a massive bleed last time am scared of anything that makes that more likely to recur. I know deep down I want another girl - don't know why really but I think probably lots of people have a gender preference, just that we all feel a bit guilty about saying it because (obviously!) we all feel that having a healthy baby is the most important thing.
Having a knackering week this week - did a teaching session on thursday evening for the hospice then on call for the hospice yesterday, today and tomorrow. Didn't get woken up last night so that was a good start but still really miss having a proper weekend - working 12 days in a row feels like hard work! However I really like working at the hospice and they are all very nice to me so will be fine really.

Hello all, just a quick one this morning. Lovely to catch up on all the news and views, so reassuring, thank you.
I seem to have had a resurgence of tiredness and sicky-ness at end of this week, just when I thought I was coming out of it :( We've got friends staying with their 13-month old so need to perk up and be entertaining honourary aunty!
Today's exciting new symptom was spontaneous nosebleed in bed. Hey ho...
Fab news from all the scans, my 20-wk is on Weds, very nervous and excited. We're not planning on finding out gender, genuinely don't think we've got a preference but who knows if that will change?!
Have good weekends all.

Oh gigglewizz here's a big (((hug))) for you. Hope you're feeling better now.

Those two brothers you'll raise will be thick as thieves, I'm sure. Brothers are often friends the way brothers and sisters can rarely be.

Thanks again for the support everyone - and especially for being much kinder about my response to the big news than I was! It really helped and I don't feel like a bad mummy-to-be anymore, it really really helped.

Did I miss the party?

Drinks: I'll bring my AMAZING soda stream and some posh squashes - you'll all be gobsmacked. You make your own fizzy the way you like it! So cheap, so tasty.
Music: Northern Soul. Opening with the Velvettes!
Conversation baby names, and specifically, the worst names we have ever heard. My nomination: a poor, poor man with a Swedish mum/first name and a British Dad/last name. They called him - and I'm not making this up - Anal Joy.

(Apparently, it's pronounced 'ah-nahl'. As if that helps ;) )

Ooh, this thread is mahoosive. I wonder if I'm too late to join?

I'm due 26th of October.