Due in Oct 2012 - part 4!

[Angelico]

Back for more...!

squid cross posted. That is absolutely outrageous.
I'm sure you've already read up on this, but in case not then here's a link to the government site outlining the rights for pregnant woman (the Health and Safety section is the key one)

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/WorkAndFamilies/Pregnancyandmaternityrights/DG_10026556

I understand you might not want to rock the boat, but if they're not taking you and your baby's health and safety seriously and you've tried to resolve it informally you should complain formally. Like Angelico says talk to your union for advice if you' have one.

Also I literally hit post on my last message and got a message from my friend with a picture of her scan - all is well and the dozy girl just forgot to press send on text earlier in the day!

Hurrah! :)

Thanks Angelico will definitely mention it to mw tomorrow

squid that's outrageous I'm horrified What happens if you go back to occy health and tell them what's happened? Do they have any authority? I can't believe what a difficult position you're in and what utter wankers they're being. Definitely contact your union...don't know what else to suggest, sorry. But huge sympathy

Squid thats absolutely outrageous, definately definately contact your union!!!!! Its not healthy for anyone to be working an 80 hour week, let alone a pregnant woman!!! Thats absolutely shocking. I hope it all works out for you :( big virtual cuddles to you.

RE itching thing... well my midwife said its quite common to itch everywhere but she said if its quite concentrated on the palms of the hands and balls of the feet then definately contact a doctor..
hope this helps. x

Jesus Christ squid. I'm horrified.

They are wrong and you are right. Don't doubt it. Ever.

Honestly in your shoes I'd be thinking of tipping off the daily mail. Fridging scandal.

Don't you let those bastards win. Your OH & S assessment was correct.

It might seem easier to take the 80 weeks. Don't do it. It's not safe, you know it, your assessor knows it.

My Dad used to work in HR, I grew up on this stuff. Keep all documentation, keep all dates of all meetings and notes. If the meeting you had with the bastards was only verbal, you must - MUST - write down what was said (emotion free, I can check if you want, that kind of thing is what they pay me for), email it to them, and have them agree that your minutes are accurate. That document becomes your safety.

Before that though - union. Union first. Doesn't matter if you're not a member, they're used to that. Call your union.

squid. I just read your post to my husband. He's a lawyer. This is what he says, this is verbatim:

'Get a lawyer. They have threatened you unlawfully. Get a lawyer. Carry a dictaphone to all further conversations. Don't tell them you've got a lawyer yet. Just get a lawyer.'

*an iPhone will work just as well. Just record things.

oh squid that sounds awful. you're absolutely entitled to whinge. I'm finding a standard 40 hour working week tough enough so can't even consider how hard it'd be to do 80 hours and at odd hours of the day and night. I have no practical suggestions but you have my utmost sympathy. I feel like a right wuss now as didn't go to work today as so nauseous and exhausted and just couldn't face it.

Squid - totally shocked. I echo what everyone else has said. I hope you can find a sympathetic GP. You can't go on like that. I'd like to see who overruled the risk assessment. I agree with what Zoe said about the record keeping etc. I'm not even sure an 80 hour week is lawful under current legislation. I remember at my old hospital running into lots of issues with the on-call rota as junior doctors were having to keep their hours down. There are a lot of 'directives' and stuff in NHS management but often a complete lack of common sense & real life perspective & a shocking lack of medical knowledge for people making BIG decisions about hospitals. Senior doctors advise them but are often ignored in favour of the god of financial targets. I am speaking from personal experience of working within it's echelons. However, this is not a machine that can't be taken on. Any of your senior colleagues feel strong enough to advocate your case to the management? Whatever you decide to do, it's your life, your baby and like Zoe's husband says, sounds the wrong side of legality to me. Stay strong x

Lord, two hours later I am still really really mad about this.

Squid - sending hugs. Don't let them get you down. They have absolutely no right to tell you that you cannot see occupational health!! I agree with zoeplankton - document everything. If you play by the rules there is nothing they can do.

I really hope you get something sorted - is there anyone at uni within the vocational training scheme you can talk to?

I can't believe what b@st@rds they are being!!

An early morning grr about how you are being treated, squid. I totally understand the feeling of not wanting to be difficult, but I think it needs to be put into perspective, and into the context of the squid kid's development which is overall far more important to you than this job. Also, everything we do from now on sets an example to our children, even though they are not yet born. You have the choice of setting the example of accepting something that is obviously wrong, because that's easier, or of trying to do something about it. Be strong. Sending you strength-giving .

Angelico, glad there is nothing to worry about.

Interesting about the doppler - our friends have said we can borrow theirs, I'm tempted - 2 weeks since last scan, over 3 weeks till next one, have not felt a single bit of fluttering in there, bit worried things are not OK, so it would be reassuring to hear a heartbeat - but then again, completely terrifying not to be able to find one so I am a bit torn!

And thanks for the suggestions re clothes and Matalan. Still have 2 pairs of work trousers and a skirt that fit, will try Matalan and local massive M&S store this weekend, and look at some online stuff but our internet is playing up, only have connection for a couple of hours in the morning and engineer not coming out till next week so stop growing, belly!!!

Have a good day everyone, don't forget your umbrella and wellie boots!

First up this morning - right, long post coming.

Haggis Glad your friend is OK

Pains - some of my friends had lots - the uterus is not sitting in limbo, it is held in place by ligaments. Some pain is from structures stretching. MWs have always asked me about cramping pain so I assume this is bad and maybe a MC. So I assume pain from cramping is bad and pain from stretching is OK - See, clear as mud.

I got up at 4.30 to pee and can't sleep since - mind racing. I will be calling my union first thing in the AM. I've been googling return to work and it is sooo sad. Apparently Ivanka Trump was in a meeting 12 days after giving birth and the article went on about women being congratulated for being back at work within weeks of giving birth. In my state this makes me want to cry. Google Leila Denmark - she died recently at 114yrs and she practiced medicine til she was 102. Anyway - one of her wisdoms was that we would not need prisons if mothers raised their babies (I paraphrase). Giving up that bond should not be applauded by wider society F*k, fk, f*k - it makes me so mad and sad.

Squidkid my problem is much smaller than yours - go to the Union. You can only have your rights, you will get no concession so find out what are your rights. Also agree with advice to record what has been said. Appalling what lady said about showing - what a cow. Write it all down while you remember it.

My problem - I work in the community health services in an area covering 40 miles from North to South. There are several centres/bases, call them A B and C. I live outside of where I work and drive about 20miles to centre C.We have a hiring freeze and over the last several months staff have reduced their hours or left centres A and B. A colleague who works with me, at base C, was allowed to increase his hours from 3 days per week to full time. He has been off work for a while (sick leave) but he started this Monday on his increased hours. We are fully staffed at our centre, C, and he was to meet the manager yesterday, Tuesday. I think he might be asked to make his base B or A for his additional days. BTW he drops his DCs to school (wife works shifts) at 9.
Things he has said to me on Monday, and a couple of weird things he has done (too long to explain).... He really wants to do his extra hours at centre C - where the need is not there while I am there. I need to find out about my rights on coming back to work, because I don't want to come back to work and find myself driving all over the country. I wonder if he wants to stress me out so I take early leave or something.
I'm a bit shocked TBH that he would 'throw me under the bus' like this.

Anyway, phone call to Union first thing.

Yomping Are you OK?

Angelico the good thing about second pregnancy is I can feel movement now. I think it was closer to 20 weeks first time. Anyway it is great to appease worry.

Happy Wednesday all - yippee it is time to go to work!!!

Cross posts Yomping - I thought I was first up.
Glad you're fine

cross post Lisbeths, I just snuck in before you! I am fine, have got over my strops, but thank you for asking, it's really nice of you :). Crap internet access at the moment, can't get on much to post and mobile phone internet connection is next to useless. Hope you sort the weird man out!

thanks for the kind messages yesterday, the pains eased off after about an hour and didnt return so hopefully everything is fine.

Well, almost there, 11+6 today! I know I've done all this before but its still as worrying the second time around, I thought it would be easier, ha! Although I stopped doing preg tests at 7 weeks this time,;ast time I was still doing them even after my 1st scan???? Dont ask lol.

However, dont think I will fully be able to relax until after I've had my scan on MONDAY!!!! HURRY UP!!!!!!!

squid that sounds awful, I would be in a state too. There must be someone you can speak to? Maybe Citizens Advice? DirectGov? Sorry, I'm not too sure how these things work, just wanted to offer some advcie.

HaggisNeepsTatties I hope you're friend is OK, sounds like you have done all you can to be there for her. If I were you, and you still don't hear anything, keep trying the texts and Voicemails over the next couple of days, offering your support ant saying you hope she is ok etc. If it is bad news she will talk when she is ready, dont take it to heart.

Well have a lovely day ladies (impossible with this bloody rain I know but there you go!) xx

Squid, also just wanted to express fury on your behalf.
The Health and Safety at Work Act also mentions working hours as a specific risk. www.hse.gov.uk/mothers/faqs.htm#q19
As this is an act of legislation, I'd agree- GET A LAWYER and sue the asses off them.
Also some useful info in this doc: www.sohas.co.uk/publications/publication21.pdf

And I got up to pee 7 times during the night. Ridiculous.

Squid I am thouroughly disgusted on your behalf!! Ffs these people are bloody morons if they think it's ok to overule a risk assessment.I echo what others have said make sure you have a record of everything said times dates etc recording conversations are a good idea also if you can manage to do it discretly.If all else fails I agree & sue the inconsiderate bastards!!!! Also agree with speaking to your union rep regardless if you're a member you can have a rep accompany you to any meetings you may need to have & it must be recorded. Perhaps we should just all bombard them at your work in a protest,who is going to dare take numerous hormonal pregnant women????!!!!!

London 7 times!!!!!!

Hey lovelies

Thank you ALL so much for your kindness and support. I've been so upset.

Well, boyfriend put his foot down this morning and took me to (another) GP, who said the hours were madness when pregnant and is contacting the hospital today to ask them to amend my hours. I hope that might help.

And I've called in sick till Monday. I don't exactly feel like I should have, i'm not sick, just.. exhausted and upset. And I haven't eaten since yesterday morning so I guess I need to go eat something now. I've never really done something like this before. My mum is coming up to see me & my lovely amazing boyfriend (who has been pretty worried) has booked me a massage this afternoon. He says I have to calm down.

I will be going to my union whether or not they sort it on the GP's say-so. This has been awful.

I feel so guilty and pathetic. Worst of it is I can hardly even think of little squid. I feel like he's been taken away from me and there's nothing there :(

Hey squid, you've done absolutely the right thing - don't even think about feeling guilty. Have a huge HUG and and try to cosset yourself and let your mum and boyfriend look after you.

Am absolutely raging at what they're trying to do to you (need a stronger emoticon!) - totally totally wrong in every conceivable way - but please let us all carry the anger for you and you focus on looking after yourself and the mini-squid. Maybe try distracting yourself, perhaps you've got an old favourite book/film to lose yourself in for a few hours?

Take care, x

Squid You've done the right thing, and don't feel guilty!!!!! I really hope the GP can get this sorted out, agree with everyones advice on recording everything they say to you before you see anyone with a union rep. Union reps are fantastic and will back you up 100%. I don't understand how your bosses can even think of taking advantage of you in this way.
I've been thinking about you all day. And I wholeheartedly agree with gucci, we'll all come up and sort it for you!
Enjoy your massage, eat lots of s. big cuddles!

Squid glad you're doing something about it.
Make sure you spend the next few days just looking after yourself and little squid.
I know it's easier said than done, but hopefully a few days away from work and you'll be able to switch off from it

Also, a quick question...
Is anyone experiencing hunger like the wolf? I've become a bottomless pit. A sandwich, half a large red pepper, a choc mousse, an apple, half a bag of doritos accompanied by homous dip and i'm still hungry. My baby is going to hate me forever...!
And ladies, the latest craving is chilli heatwave doritos. and wotsits. cannot get enough wotsits. mmmmmmmmmm salivates

20, 11+6, #1

P.S. Cwest We are the same! Hope your scan goes well on Monday, such a shame you have had to wait so long.. I had mine two weeks ago, I was nearly 10 weeks :o Although couldn't really see much.. Would love to have a scan now to see what it's been doing!!