Due in Oct 2012 - part 4!

[Angelico]

Back for more...!

squid - lol - right now he is still giving her lots of hugs & reassurance. Parenting her is more important than comforting me. I'll be ok. I'm just upset she's so upset and don't want to cry in front of her or make this about me, 'cos it's not. It's about them. It will be normal for them to feel insecure & confused but I didn't think - 'this is hell, my life is over' would be on the agenda. Makes me feel like a big guilty shit for doing this to her life and sense of (already fragile probably) security . We'll see how it is after an afternoon with MIL & onkel who they are close to. Jeez, and to think her mother's reaction was what I was most worried about! Scary thing is, if she cries like this when she goes home to her mum, her mum will raise merry HELL and make the situation 200x worse. Please keep fingers crossed for me...

Ah - I didn't realise it was happening "live" - sorry! I know it's really hard, but don't feel guilty. A few of my mates' parents had late kids (probably by mistake!) when they were in their teens and some people were pissed off at the idea at first but they all ended up absolutely adoring the baby.

And I reiterate, in my experience, pretty much ANYTHING that happens when you are a teenager gets a "MY LIFE IS OVER" response!

Thanks squid :) I know you're right...but it feels really shitty right now - and the 'ex' (her mother) hasn't even been told yet. Also feel pretty cross at her as, after a quiet word with DP, it seems that about 70% of what DSD is hysterical about is the thought of her mother's 'reaction' and the guilt trips she will be forced into. . ah well. must go MIL's now and hope lovely MIL and onkel can pour oil on troubled waters...

Oh goodness Fjordmor what a day you're having!! You have my sympathies for dealing with step children,I have friends that are step mothers (&have one myself) & I will be honest they get led a merry dance! That said at the age of 12 I agree with Squid they're pretty much teenagers & we all know how vile they are lol & everything is a personal attack on them,so I wouldn't worry too much if you can help it she will come around.As far as the mother is concerned there's not much she can say really it's not really any of her business & if she tries to be spiteful through the kids then she's only displaying how childish she can be & is probably jealous!! So I say 'up yours' to her!!!!

In responce to your question earlier Milk the scan I am booking was a bargain at £45!! my SIL found it on a offers website called 'KGB deals' they're like groupon & others similar & they are nationwide,hope that helps :)

FjordMor, the unsympathetic side of me thinks that the 12 year old needs a slap! Is that a bit unreasonable of me? Does she realise she's not the centre of the world and life doesn't revolve around her? (DH thinks I am going to be a very unsympathetic mother and the children will go to him if they ever need sympathy ). It just sounds to me like a very selfish reaction, and from my ignorant position of never having had children or dealt with near-teenagers (although have taught plenty of 11-year-olds), I'm shocked at her reaction, and that your DH is comforting her rather then telling her to grow up! Anyway, I'm sorry you have to go through that, not what you need right now.

Squid, I'm totally outraged on your behalf about the conditions you and other medical people in hospitals have to work in. Is it just because the NHS is understaffed? It's not fair on you guys at all, it's nit healthy, and from a purely practical point of view, how can you be depended upon to make potentially life-saving decisions at the drop of a hat after a 13-hour shift with no food? I'm sure you do it all the time - and please don't for a minute think that I'm questioning anybody's judgement, I'm just shocked that it is seen as OK to make you all endure those sorts of conditions, and that nothing is done about it. I want to do something about it for you all. I get on my high horse whenever anybody says anything like "teaching - ooh, all that holiday" because realistically it is an exceptionally hard, tiring job (if you do it well, anyway) with stupid amounts of responsibility and crazy demands on your time and energy for the amount we get paid (not that anybody does it for the money) and the hours that we work - but I feel humbled by what you do.

Sorry, rant over -

Finally found the thread again!

Got a few things I want to ask after catching up on everything so sorry if this is going to be a long one......

Firstly, I noticed a few of you talking about being cover for someone elses maternity leave......thats also my job role, and employers being a bit cagey about what I'm actually entitled to. The lady I'm covering for is due back about 3 months after I will leave to have my baby, so where does that leave me? Been trying to find out if I am entitled to maternity leave, and pay, and how long this will last but its all very confusing....any help anyone?

Have just told DC1 today (hes 4) as mum wanted to look at what she said is my bump, (personally cant see it yet) and he said "mummys tummy is big coz theres a baby in there" (how do they know these things?!) so I said yes there was but he wont see it for a long time, and he said "ok I'm going to spin around now" dont ya just love em ha! Trying to remember when I should start showing as Im worrying (again) that I'm not and I should be. At the mo, theres hardly anything there in the mornings, and it gets bigger throughout the day, (just looks like I've eaten too much I guess)

Well, got just over 2 weeks til my 12 week scan (if you remember me from before I had a scan at 8 weeks as we didnt know how far gone I am) And again Im sooooooo excited, but also worried in case somethings gone wrong since the last one. Esp as quite a lot of people know now, (we are TERRIBLE at keeping secrets), but I did better than last time, EVERYONE knew when I was 5 weeks! Now 10+2 so much better!

Been great catching up, just wish next scan would hurry! Speak soon x

Hello, ladies!

Bet you thought you'd got rid of me

We are back form our holiday, which, I can report, was really really really cold. To e point that in Slovenia, it snowed on us!

I've skimmed a couple of pages - seems a mixed bag of recent news, but a lot of determined coping with circumstance (coping with circumstance being pretty much what squidkid shouldn't have to do, you poor thing, what do the union have to say about all this?)

Hope you're all well and happy..

Zara I know what you mean about the absolutely dazzling choice of pushchairs etc. I am kinda hoping my sister will offer her old one as we really don?t have much money to spare (especially as we?re trying to move house etc). Love the idea of freecycle YompingJo that?s brill and may yet save the day. Sorry to hear about your bike though.

squid I?m sure you?ll get it under control ? perhaps you can negotiate for a siesta hour in a rest room?

Sedgers I LOVE the idea of knitting but am far too malcoordinated and impatient to manage such a thing. Fortunately I have a lovely lovely friend who is gifted and keen and who may yet produce suitable gifts (when it?s public information etc ? post-scan).

FjordMor that sounds like a pretty tough situation. Squid is absolutely right though that almost anything parents do when you?re a teenager ?ruins your life?. I seem to remember saying that exact phrase many, many, times. I also think (though am not a parent yet so obviously may yet know what I?m talking about!) that there?s a fine line between sympathy and ?buck up and get over it?. If you err to much on the sympathy front, they can milk it (not saying you have over-done the sympathy, just that, frankly, it?s a non-negotiable situation so they will have to get used to it, and apparently babies make EVERYONE fall for them.

Hi again CWest. I?d have a look on the directgov website pregnancy section. Even if you haven?t been there for that long, so long as you?ve been employed (wherever), you should get at least Maternity Allowance (slightly less than statutory maternity pay, but not by much, if I remember right).

Welcome back Zoe - hope you had a good hols.

I am absolutely shattered at the moment ? hard core day on a yoga course. The timing really isn?t ideal but ah well I shall have to just man up!

Hello everybody

Been stalking this thread for a while and thought I'd finally post, although it is for a bit of a whinge I'm afraid!

Anyone else feeling incredibly tired? I was hoping this would pass by the first trimester but if anything it seems to have come back with a vengeance and I'm getting a bit cheesed off with it to be honest! What with working ft, looking after DS and being bed by 9pm plus naps where possible I don't feel like I've got any life!

I'm going to ask about being tested for anaemia at next MW appt, although lots of people have said to me that they were v tired throughout their pregnancy and I should just go with it and listen to my body and sleep when needed.

I just feel that I'm about making it through the working day and then collapsing at home and not giving the best to DP (who has been amazing) and DS. :(
And when I want to be enjoying the weekends with them I'm falling asleep on the sofa.

The thought of this continuing all the way through is a bit overwhelming at this point.

October - kiln 13 weeks and still quite tired. Usually on the weekendss we go out, but today I decided to have a home lazy day. I let the dogs out to run in the pasture at around 830. They tired themselves out by 11, then we napped from 11 - 1. Then I read a bit (dogs still slept) and did some crafts and just woke up from another 3 hour nap 5-8.

But now i'll probably be wide awake at 4am. Lo

I'm 14+4 and still feeling the tiredness. Some days are worse than others, though. I feel like a total slob because I'm not keeping on top of the housework like I usually do neat freak, I have 2 baskets of ironing to do, a couple loads of washing, a kitchen full of dishes, the floor needs hoovering and mopping. I need to get eveything done today because I'm back to work tomorrow (work from home as a childminder so NEEDS to be clean and tidy).

Knitting sounds lovely. I finish Uni in May (for this year) and will have 2 days a week with no children to fill up, until the summer hols, which I do not work. I used to knit as a child but I remember how it's done anymore. My Nan could knit for England so she's already planning some cardigans for baby. I love home-made clothes for the kids and often make DS silly trousers. His favourite was his pair of Mister Maker trousers (brown with bright colour polka-dots hideous), he's coming up 6 years old and I'm just enjoying that he still appreciates home made things before it becomes soooo uncool!

WRT to money, I am self - employed so will get Maternity Allowance (I think). Does anyone know how this will effect Working Tax Credits? I am starting to worry. DH finishes Uni (for good!) this May and will be looking for full time work. However, what if he doesn't find work? We'll no longer have his Student Finance to rely on. If I loose my Working Tax Credits and DH doesn't find work quick, we'll be totally up Shit Creak

CWest, the website makes it as clear as mud and I have to do lots of counting on my fingers From what I understand, you have to have been continuously employed by the same employer for at least 26 weeks before you're 25 weeks pregnant (they say 15 weeks before your EDD). If that's the case, you get statutory maternity pay. I'm seriously hoping I've got that right!

Fjord much sympathy with the DSDs and their charming sounding mother. I really hope her reaction surprises you with it's positivity...

squid hope you figure something out at work. I work 2 days/week in a hospital (not a doctor) and I find it completely knackering - just on my feet all day.

Welcome back, zoe! It's mad, if you go away for just a few days we're pretty much on a new thread!

Don't have vast amounts to report, I'm just completely sick of my bladder. It ruins perfectly good nights' sleep (DS is going through a good patch atm and I can't make the most of it) and I seem to need to wee constantly. Grrraarrghh.

Thanks all for your thoughts. More tears now which is putting off the time DP will tell the charming mother & making things tons worse. Dame unfortunately I can guarantee a negative reaction. The best we can hope for is that things don't spiral into ridiculousness for the girls' sake.

I'm 15+5 and always tired :( Cbeebies has become DS best friend :(

Yeah......about being employed by same employer for 26 weeks before I am 25 weeks pregnant or whatever it is.....I actually found out I was pg the day before I started the job......I was 4 weeks. Its not looking good is it? Plus we are trying 2 move as well arrrgggghhh this is going to be the most stressful pregnancy EVER!

On a lighter note, I am either extremely thirsty or craving frozen stuff(by this I mean ice lollies and ice cream, NOT a bag of peas haha) Strange...had no cravings at all with DC1. However its a sunday, and normally spend whole day in pjs doin housework so havent been shop to get any. Am hoping he homemade freezer bags half full of orange/blackcurrant juice will be enouh when then eventually freeze!

Me too with the thirst/frozen and also fizzy stufff. Hardly touched fizzy things before and now I glug them like a beast. Already had one portion of frozen yoghurt and may slip a mini magnum in my bag for the journey to Wembley... Going to the match, so much rather be curled up watching rubbish TV with the family. I've changed....

Fjord Hope your silence is a sign of peace in Norway.....

Blimey, I've just been on my first bike ride for about 3years. My leg muscles could pretty much be described as non-existent - I tend to swim, which isn't so challenging on the old legs. My god, I can barely walk now!

We were taking it pretty easy as DH had DS on the back of his (precious) bike for the first time ever, but he was sailing up hills and I kept having to get off and walk Kept thinking about the whole pregnancy and exercise thing, and how you should keep up exercise but not more strenuous than you're used to. My heart rate was so fast you could barely distinguish the beats, and my legs feel totally battered now (not to mention I can hardly sit down)! Really hope I haven't overdone it!

You'll be fine - think how righteous you get to feel and the extra helpings at dinner.

I too have been craving fizzy drinks (pepsi only) & ice lollies,mainly the lemonade flavour ones you used to get as a kid!! However,just been outside to fetch washing in & the wind has really picked up & has made it cold brrr so have cranked the heating up before I stick my head in the freezer lol

We're watching 'Love Machine' on sky (I know it's a bit naff!) but we were in the audience for the filming of one episode & it turns out it's tonights!! but we've not really seen us on there as they keep showing the same people.It's not all bad though,it was filmed last Nov & DP was growing a 'tache for Movember so am quite glad we cant be made out lol

Hey peeps, hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather! We are on quite a high here with it, being so used to cloudy skies and pouring rain!

Welcome new peeps, we're the board that just keeps growing :o

Milk glad everything went okay with consultant :)

Zara good idea on starting the thread about best buggy - I need to find one I can take on the beach.

Yomping / Gin - they call it a triple test here so maybe you only get tested for 3 hormones or something?!

Fjord well done on making it back to Norway in one piece, without baby brain sending you to Russia or something :o Sorry you are having a hard time with DSC, hopefully all will come right. It's awful that they are more worried about the mother's reaction than anything else . They'll probably dote on the baby when (s)he arrives x

Squid so glad you are surviving :o Do keep fighting your corner and don't let them pass you from pillar to post - you have the right to protect yourself and your bean. Hope you've had a restful weekend x

Gucci good job on the bargain scan! That's a great deal! :o

Zoe welcome back from the cold :o

Sympathies to all tired peeps :( I've been off all week so fine but back to work tomorrow and think I'm going to be killed tbh, getting exam classes ready to go...

CWest and Midget - me too with the cold / fizzy stuff! Had to buy more sparkling water earlier because I'd run out and DH is winding me up because I was out shopping, then called to the CINEMA on the way home so I could get a slush puppie! :o And it's delicious! :o

Thanks for all good wishes on AN appt and book. I have been sworn to secrecy on book stuff but will just say great news but nothing signed so shush Angelico for now and will tell all as soon as I can! :o

Have a nice evening ladies, plan here is to watch a DVD and eat some hummus and sun dried tomatoes, nom nom! Washed down with Slush Puppie :o x

Ha! Another icy / fizzy casualty Gin! :o

Fjordmor Poor you. I'm sure you could do without all this drama. I have no comparable life experience so can offer no ideas - I realise you are not asking for advice but when I hear of problems I want to offer some. Haven't got a clue what you should do - ignore her/console her/ smack her (least preferred choice).
You sound like a really independent person though - taking up a whole new life in Sweden, and I think with your history with your mum you probably have a few coping strategies up your sleeve.
Mind yourself, and I hope it all settles down.

I've just discovered something - Mumsnet logged me out while I was writing that post. And after I logged back in I clicked the back arrow til I got to my post. When I clicked on post message it posted for me - I didn't have to write it twice

Squidkid glad you're back and OK. I spoke with a nurse that was put off work recently at 31 weeks. This is not unusual, her baby was not putting on weight. If you're baby is not thriving you will be put off work too. In a way this suits the job as they can replace you then. It's nothing personal.

There is very little room to accommodate any infirmity in team working.
Of course it is perfectly reasonable to want to work no more than 50 hrs per week and not do nights, but didn't you know this was not the job's conditions when you applied? There is an old saying, 'When you enlist, march'
If that sounds shitty and unsupportive, I don't mean it to.

I think you are a hard working young woman who applied for a job that you enjoyed in the past and were up for a challenge. Give it your best, pace yourself as best you can (12 hours with barely a sandwich!!) find out what your rights are ...

Here's another saying 'Don't rush out to meet your problems'.
I do not mean to sound smug, I think you're great and I'm a little worried for you.

I have just put on my work clothes and turned sideways to look at my profile in the mirror

Think my plan of telling people at work on Friday might well be scuppered... if they don't guess before then, they're blind :(

YompingJo I'm fortunate to be "cuddly" before I got upduffed.so swear people just think I've come off the diet waggon

Well, it's scan day today. 4:30pm. Am absolutely bricking it already - paranoid I'll get there and there will be nothing in there Still, on the plus side I'm still knackered, sore boobs and retching at things so I suppose that's all good...

Worried about telling parents - 31 and married and I'm still expecting a reaction as if I was 16 and telling them!

Will have to think tonight about how to break it to work...not looking forward to that!

31, 12+0, #1