40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

Bytheseaside, I think everyone is up and down with pregnancy hormones, but I would imagine from the little I know of IVF, you have been through a tremendous amount of stress in the run up to this pregnancy.

There is no shame in chatting to the midwife/doctor about it and getting help if you need to.

I had a friend I am convinced had anti natal depression (she ripped your head of if you dared to suggest anything may be wrong though), she was unhappy the whole of her pregnancy (with a much wanted baby), she became convinced that there was something wrong with the baby (there wasnt it was perfectly healthy on birth) and nothing her friends said would convince her otherwise.

I know you arent worried like that, but I think she could have gotten a lot of reassurance from professionals, if only she had asked.

Good luck, how far along are you.

Greetings old timers. I am back and already thinking about running away back on holiday. Work is killing me.

Gothin so sorry. We really hope to see you back here. There are some great threads for those TTC after MC full of expert advice and TLC. I found great comfort on one after my many losses. Helps keep a flicker of hope going.

VQ sorry you are feeling crook. You've had more than your fair share of things lately.

Not had the chance to catch up with all I've missed and hope to do that later. Update on syphilisgate. I do not have syphilis. It's official. Good job it didn't end my marriage in the meantime. Think we would have noticed weeping sores on the fanjo by now but still nice to have it written on my notes (the shame of carrying round the syph notes was too much).

Congratulations in the scans Fjord and LRM. Mine is on 6th June. To be hobest i am terrified something may be wrong. So may losses makes a girl suspicious. Don't think I'm going to find out the sex. So many people seem disappointed with what they find. Think I'll just leave it as a surprise....maybe. As I have so many other scans there is always to to change my mind.

Fjord I really wanted a boy, thought it was a boy but couldn't be happier with my gorgeous DD. I am firmly of the belief that children are sponges, we raise them based on our values and beliefs. To a degree nurture plays a huge part, your little one will not turn into your stepdaughters if you do your job well. That's what I am hoping for anyway as I was a vile teenager so hope DD is a more balanced individual....

I do have something that needs investigating in my wee and raises ALT levels so once again having extra tests to see what the cause is. Keeping a close eye because of PE last time. Terrified it will come back. Last time I got it much later so hoping it is something less sinister. Better go, another busy day at work. Getting uncomfy already with the hardness if my bump. Hard to eat much and really feel like Its crushing me. Is that normal at 18weeks?

Really best go, need to hop on a tube in 5 minutes. Enjoy the sunshine y'all x

Thanks for everyone's kind words and advice yesterday - you are a lovely lot :) I'm going to keep a careful eye on myself, and I don't feel embarassed about asking doc for help if I need it, but hopefully the holiday will help cheer me up, especially if I make sure there's loads of nice food involved. crazy hormones!

welcome back midget glad you 'officially' don't have syphilis, utterly mortifying! What's PE by the way?

Sun's out, so going to sit in the garden I think for some vit D and relaxation x

what a difference the proper maternity bras have made to my poor swollen boobies!!!!!!, they are less sore already!

Midget I have to go back through the thread and check out this syphillis thing!!!

Bytheseaside, hope the sunshine helped.

Midget found it, lmao

Valium take my (experienced) advice, do not think a buggy board and a 2 year old are a good mix, they arent, I promise.

Now if you want something unusual - <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=bertini+bidwell+905+with+toddler+seat&hl=en&rlz=1T4ACPW_enGB422GB418&biw=1146&bih=554&tbm=isch&tbnid=YTr7sJMcpASskM:&imgrefurl=www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/springfield-lakes/prams-strollers/bertini-bidwell-steerable-stroller-model-905/349096855&docid=IzXTHoHQrXHdiM&imgurl=imgc.classistatic.com/cps/kjc/120125/875r1/1152i24_20.jpeg&w=800&h=600&ei=cXy-T4n4M4fF8gOJ2PAk&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=634&vpy=247&dur=163&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=144&ty=122&sig=107914533888914482809&page=1&tbnh=112&tbnw=143&start=0&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:0,i:93" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">these are amazing. I loved mine so much, was no good after about 15 months so I got a jane powertwin (£80 second hand). I also tried a buggy board and side by side twin.

The bertinis can be picked up for peanuts because no-one has ever heard of them, and the toddler seat comes off with a few clicks, then they look like beatiful old fashioned prams.

valium also meant to say, bled through all 3 pregnancies, have 3 perfectly healthy children.

Happy end of week all :)

knottyhair - happy late birthday - hope you had a great one!

exexe - hope the bouncy castle went well. Looks like you had the weather for it. Hope it didn't prove too exhausting - sounds like you'd given yourself masses to do! Sorry to hear about your son's friend's mum - kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

whatname impressive shopping spree! I'm still rueing my complete lack of being able to get anything useful at all!

bytheseaside - sorry you're not feeling so great. Hormones are a funny old thing. I feel almost constantly tearful - 'leaking eyes' I call it but I don't feel down, negative or over-stressed...just 'emotional' or 'easily moved' sometimes. Sounds good to keep an eye on it. I always found B vitamins very helpful for hormonal-related 'stress' etc. Sun & relaxations sounds like a very good start though! :)

Hpbp - hope the back etc is feeling better!

midgetm - glad you're back from Spanish Spain and glowing with newly rotund bump and a bit of a tan, no doubt :) Just keep channelling your beach memories when work is being a bitch. I think you're absolutely right by the way; it is my challenge to bring up my daughter and help her be the sort of woman I wish my mum had helped me be. I wasn't exactly 'disappointed' at the gender - more shocked as I had had such a feeling all along that this was a little boy inside me and usually I'm very intuitive - my DP says bordering on spookily so. The anxiety about how things are for girls over 9 these days is a part of it but any new blood relation is cool with me right now. If she turns out anything like her late grandfather I'll have a wonderful girl indeed! :) Good luck with the wee. I'm also a bit paranoid about PE - seem to be very swelly at the moment although it might be the heat and not enough liquid...Keep us posted.

Feeling the baby is my current obsession. At the moment, she seems to like to somersault, kick etc all night long which is annoying, causing very disrupted sleep for me and I hope I can get her more active during the day and less hyper at night before birth or I may as well turn nocturnal! Since she's in a breech position, if I press hard up into my bump from underneath, I can often feel little feet 'treading grapes' with my fingers, which is nice. I think her head end is pushing on my navel with is trying to make it's final break to 'outy-dom' and feels pretty weird (much to DP's horror - he's a little icked out by belly buttons full stop). It was so sweet last night. I was sleeping at a slight angle to the left off my back and woke to find DP spooning me with his hand on my belly where the uterus is. He was asleep with a smile on his face and LO was somersaulting and kicking away with glee under his hand!! :) It was so lovely - felt like a real connection! He was gutted I hadn't woken him when he found out this morning as he's yet to feel her!

Looking forward to hearing all about your exciting plans for the weekend. We've got the teen from hell & the hyper tween DSDs and are planning a Eurovision 'party' if DSD1 doesn't spoil it with sulks and strops. We're thinking of lending her out to her friends for a bit of peace and just keeping the 10 yr old and her delightful best friend (we need to enjoy them before the big hormonal change sets in...).

whatname thank you for the tips. I like the Bertini, and will keep an eye out.

I think I may get another one - I loved loved loved it.

I loved it so much I had 2 - 1 for house, 1 for car (they are bulky to get in and out). I picked up the second one for £65 delivered from eBay.

We went everywhere with it, DS used to fall asleep in the toddler seat it was so comfy. I loved it so much. Oh the fond memories.

whatname wow you are a fan! How are they on steps? I have three steep steps to the front door. There are a couple on ebay at the moment. Is there anyone who stocks them? I would love a traditional Silver Cross carriage built with toddler seat on top >

Where would I get a toddler seat if I could get the actual pram? There is a pram about 20 miles away from me. Does it have to be a particular model to fit the toddler seat on? You have got me hooked too! We best communicate to make sure we are not bidding on the same pram!

Bouncy castle and party were a huge success. Honestly the kids were mental. I had about 10 6/7 yr old boys and 4 girls. They were so hyper and excited.
I told dh that they were like blood crazed zombies.
I picked up 6 boys from school and had to calm them down before we even got through the front door. They were desparate to get in and were practically tearing down the door then they just rampaged through the garden and the food til 6
Luckily I had 4 mums too to help me out.

good luck with the prams and accessories! I'm not even going to think about it til September.

Did everyone else on 2nd plus pregnancy feel baby move fairly early? I'm 18 weeks and some days I feel it and some I don't. Is that normal? I worry sometimes that I should be feeling more movements.

exexe it probably depends where the placenta is. With DC1 I felt loads from 18 weeks, with DC2 very little , with DC3, just tickles on the inside between my hips , but for a few weeks now. If the placenta is at the front, you will feel less. Once the little darling has their feet in your ribs, it will be a different matter.

Glad the party went well. DD1 is six in 3 weeks and I have done feck all about it except bought presents and planned the cake (on tight budget so buy as I see bargains)

I am not sure I could cope with kids coming here, so am thinking of Burger King as there is free soft play. All her friends have had full class parties, but we will not be.

Just a quick one exexe as at work but that is totally normal. I got movements really early this time round which are now pretty strong but irregular. Checked with midwife earlier this week who said it is because they are so small and they have a lot of room so depends where they are at any one time, so totally normal. I am also 18 weeks. Catch you later oldies

Valiumqueen and Whatname, I have seen a toddler seat like that on a Baby Jogger Classic, that looks brilliant, but I wonder until which age/weight a toodler can be pushed that way safely for him and his younger sibling...

Exexe, well done with the party, you will have to give me some tips... you are very blessed to ahve mums helping you still at that age, around here most mums would leave even if kids are only 6 yo.... I have seen a friend of mine totally tearful when hosting a party for her daughter...

Re feeling movement earlier with the second pg, yes I agree with you, started feeling odd flutterings around 17/18 weeks one day, then nothing for a few days and then back again... my placenta is also anterior and high this time so it is a bit like a cushion and the LO has her head down already so I do not feel as much as I potentially could, I had lots of scans since the 20 week one on top of the MW appointments so I could either hear heartbeat or see on the screen baby moving around so I am not more worried than that.

But if you are, try to have something sweet and stay still for 30 minutes, I have been told and experienced that I could actually feel movements after the sweet treat !
I also feel her much more when I am lying flat. Especially at night time. And yes, Fjord sometimes it is like having a proper nightclub in the tummy with somersaults, kicking, bouncing...

I tried 'haptonomie' as well and it works - sorry it is a French/Swiss/Belgian concept of talking to the baby through your touch and hands, I could not find a similar concept or practice in the UK but I thought I'd mention it in case other mums have heard of it too.

In any case, if you feel stressed about it, speak to your MW. A heartbeat can reassure you but the best remains feeling movements.

Enjoy the wonderful weather every one

cross posted with VQ and Midget :) glad we all agree !

Hpbp OOH! Baby Jogger Classic! I would lurve one of them. Did you see a pic on internet (if so, linkey please) or in RL? Off to Google...

Baby Jogger jump seat - recalled due to not fixing on securely. Not been relaunched. Probably what made them develop the City Select. Several tots with broken noses apparently.

oups, that is bad, I saw it in RL, did not know it existed to be honest but now I understand why it wasn't on their website...

Thanks everyone.
Hpbp The first time I felt lots of movements was after some Ben and Jerrys and that was a few weeks ago. I do have sweet things from time to time but still don't get the movements now. I don't think I've felt any movements for 3 days now. I'm just hoping its because I've been busy and haven't noticed but theres definitely been none at quiet times.
I still don't have a midwife. Since my 12 week scan, I've seen no one. it's so frustrating and sometimes I just get fed up and can't be bothered talking with yet another receptionist.

I couldn't have cope without the mums. They just happened to be mums that have become good friends anyway so if they hadn't offered, I wouldve asked plus I said that the younger siblings could come too if the mums stayed which applied to a couple of them.

have help is the biggest tip I can give!

Have plenty of food - kids got through loads of chicken, chips, pizza, crisps, cakes and drinks. Ice pops were a huge hit.

Wait for good weather then just chuck them out in the garden.

hpbp haptonomie sounds lovely! I would love to find someone to teach me or find a book (in English ideally!)

exexe I'm 16 weeks and think I can feel something fluttery from time to time, a bit odd, and maybe it's just butterflies from all this nerviness rather than the baby moving. Would be great to know! My mw said ladies drop in all the time to the local mw centre for hb checks if they are worried. I haven't yet, but might...

Gorgeous day! Off to have a late lunch outside, hopefully including some vitamins. My iron's a bit low too, so going to get some lamb steaks on the bbq this weekend xxx

They are great on steps because the wheels are large, if you link me the one you are looking at then I can tell if it has a seat from the listing.

Re how long they last, there are 22 months between mine and I used it for 15 months, it would be great with a buggy board, as then they would go underneath the handle, better for back, no arching.

I have a hobby which means we are out for super long days, with lots of walking, the powertwin I have now is mostly used for DD and my equipment, but then when DS has had enough of being out all day, he does in otherwise Id have stuck to the Bertini and buggy board, DS could sleep in it at nearly 4 (in main bit). In the powertwin, if we go to a festival or something, they both can sleep in evening

It wasnt DS size that was the issue, it was that DD couldnt sit up properly. The Bertini Toddler Seat could cope with a fulll blown 3.6 year old tantrum!!!!

If you want to see some piccies, I have a FB account with no personal or identifying information, I could chuck them up there and show you by pming public link, then delete them, fine by me.

Fford late pregnancy I tended to sleep in a nursing chair, I couldnt lay down and I got more rest that way.

Exexe glad party went well, I found with each pregnancy symtoms started earlier, midwife said it was because you are more aware of your body and what is happening.

HPBP full fat coke works wonders for movement. "'haptonomie'" sounds wonderful going to google that.

Bytheseaside enjoy the sunshine :)

Exexe, if you have a few hours to spare and if you can arrange childcare for the eldest, in your shoes, I would definitively go to hospital to get a scan, don't leave, stay put until some one does something to reassure you.

Will keep your tips in mind for the future. Need to find a garden, nice project for later once LO number 2 has joined our beautiful outside world.

Bytheseaside, bbq sounds lovely, I want a garden now....
Re Hapotonomie, I could not find any consultant in London, and there isn't any books or CD either, my sister had it for her first and gave me some ideas: you need to start seeing the consultant from 4 months of pg onwards, twice a month, with your partner, I discovered it too late when pg with DS1 and with this second pg, could not ask DH to go back to Paris every other week end for 5 months to meet with the consultant, logistically speaking it would have been too hard... will keep looking and let you know if I can find anything in English :)

Need to go and find ankle socks and shorts for DS1. This weather is so good for vitamin D and I want him to make the most of it....

hpbp I just had a full fat coke with lots of ice in it and then just lay down for a bit. I definitely felt something very low down but it was more like a gentle pressure. Like movements but muted. Does that make sense? It would make sense if my placenta was positioned like yours this time.

I finally managed to get hold of a number for a midwife in my area. I don't know why they kept trying to book me in at the hospital (which is a few miles away) when I can get to see someone locally (apparently though they keep changing their stories). Anyway, by 4 pm they'd all gone home so fingers crossed for a successful phone call on Monday.

Hope you all have a great weekend. I fancy doing something like a day trip to Brighton but I think it will be packed and I hate crowds!

I'll need to find a quiet beach not too far from London.

I can't stop drinking ice cold coke now!!