40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

OK, my best tips (and it works) to aid post birth recovery

Firstly, I am a great believer in rest, its exciting to go dashing around doing everything, but home (and if planning to BF in bed top off with loads of snacks) snuggled up with baby doing nothing is best, its my DHs job to do everything while I babymoon.

But thats just me being old fashioned on a practical level.

Tip 1 Take lactulose as a matter of course for a few days, I wish someone had told me this with DC 1 and 2, this is what I did with DC3, and it made things a lot easier.

Tip 2 Presoak your maternity pads with a few drops of tea tree oil, I open the packet and put 5/6 drops on each one, really soothing.

Tip 3 Keep a squirty water bottle next to the sink, when weeing, put a few drops of tea tree oil in it, top up with warm water, then aim when weeing, again something I wish someone had told me, just pat dry so you can leave some of the tea tree oil there.

I did all this with DC3 and she is the only one I didnt need anti Bs on.

I am also fairly well versed on water births if anyone has any questions. Dont want to come across as little miss (or haggared old mrs) know it all, but am more than happy to share experiences.

Im not well versed on everyones posts havent read the whole thread, stressful moving, I remember boxes and boxes I never even unpacked!

Thanks whatname. Amazed tea tree oil can be soothing on your fanjo! I have heard witch hazel to be good too - soak gauze strips and chill in fridge!! The squirty bottle with TTO sounds like a v good idea. I want a water birth but not holding out much hope as they are keen to induce. Less bothered now though as have a friend due day before me who's having c-sec in next few days, so I spose it's not that bad.

Good luck too to Fjord for your scan.

are there complications, why are they keen to induce?? Used witch hazel after dc1, not as good as tea tree, fab stuff.

Sorry Im dead nosy, I love pregnancy and birth, if I wasnt ancient with too many DCs Id retrain as a midwife.

Are there any other DCs.

Yes, massive complication of being over 40! This is DC1.

Just popping in to say good luck for the scans today fjord and LRM. And valium, inca & gothinrecovery, hope things improve for you all.

1000 I'd tell them to bugger off tbh.

I've got quite a few friends who have had first babies at 40+ and none of them have had induction suggested as a matter of course.

But again - I'm just being nosy!!!!!!!!! Have you thought about making a new thread in childbirth about it?

Good luck with scans and hope spotting has stopped.

It's great being an older mum - I have so much more patience than I did when I was young.

Not good news from me. Spotting turned into heavy bleeding late last night. Went to A&E, they took blood and urine tests which were indicating still pg but have had more heavy bleeding this morning after not having any overnight. I don't seem to have any heavy cramps which seems odd if I am miscarrying but can't think what else it could be.

Scan later on this morning but am not hopeful.

Goth - I'll keep everything crossed for you - sending you loads of virtual hugs*

So sorry to hear about that goth. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your bean.

Oh Goth, I'm sorry. Thinking of you and hoping the scan is positive for you xx

Me too goth, fingers crossed. Mine has turned to light bleeding from spotting w no cramps, just gone to bed and hoping it won't escalate further. :-(

Gothinrecovery, hope everything goes well during the scan this morning
VQ I am so sorry you are feeling so unwell, hope you will get better soon. In your shoes, I would certainly just start mat leave to have some rest and get better, you have too, for you, for your baby, for your other DCs.
Inca, how are you ?
Praying really hard for all of you.

Fjord, LRM, let us know how the scan goes today
Whatname, thanks for the TTO tips and Lactulose. Does Lactulose has any effect on baby if you BF ? I suppose TTO should be OK as well if I tear or have episiotomy, right ? thanks to its antiseptic properties.

FF I am sure you mentioned earlier when you have been told about induction but I can't find the post anymore... :( I am only 6 weeks behind you and nobody has mentioned it yet. My due date in France is 10 days later than the one given by the UK medical team. So I don't know if I should mention it ?

Have decided to go back to my Mum's place to give birth. She has plenty of space and a garden. So my DS1 can be looked after if I stay in the clinic for 4/5 days (which is usually the norm in France). And she can look after me as well after the birth :) I know, I know, I am taking advantage !!! why shouldn't I ? cheeky me...

Goth - really hope that all will be OK for you.

I'm another one who's feeling rubbish. Feel nauseous most of the morning and only want toast with marmite, or crackers and primula cheese spread (!). Tend to feel a wee bit better in early eve, then am just totally knackered. This is so rubbish. I certainly didn't feel this bad with either of my other two.
I don't feel like eating anything healthy except melon, and just want milkshakes and breadsticks.

I've got my booking in appt next week, which I'm not looking fwd to as it will mean having lots of bloods taken, however, will then at least be over, and I will be 'officially' preggers!

KMR281, I'm like you, but my nausea is worse in the evening. I'm not eating healthily either - toast (it is wholemeal though!), cheese, plain hula hoops, plain tortilla chips, mini cheddars . I do try to have a pear every day (about the only fruit I fancy at the moment) but weirdly it has to be fridge cold and cut up not whole. My booking in appt is 31st and will also involve bloods as they've got to sort out my thyroid meds as well.
Hbpb, France sounds amazing!
Still thinking of all of you having bleeds/scans and Valium.

Gothic & Inca: thinking of you both & keeping everything crossed for you - take care xxx

hpbp was told at about 14 weeks. Is particular policy of my hosp. Is not compulsory, but they do pressurise you. Had scan at 34 weeks and fluid levels low, so now more pressure from them. Issue is deterioration of placenta at greater maternal age.

Still, is not to late for me to transfer to France and benefit from some of your Mum's tlc!!!

krm sorry you feel rubbish. Think if you take supps doesn't matter too much what you eat. knotty does pear have to be cutted up too?

Well I'm afraid it's goodbye from me, the early scan this morning confirms I have miscarried, likely that it stopped developing. Absolutely devastated particularly given how long it had taken to get that BFP in the first place.

Going to be referred back to the fertility doc and been signed off for the rest of the week.

Hope everything goes well for the rest of you.

Gothinrecovery, I am so sorry, don't be too sad, I know, easier said than done, but if mother Nature can be a bitch, she can also be very kind and certainly full of surprises. Take care of yourself and we shall see you back when you are ready.
It took me 2 years and 2 early MC before my first pg and 6 months for the second pg. Both were natural conception. No drugs involved. But for the second pg I had some help with a cycle monitoring scheme, it worked straight away: it consists in having 4 scans (the first being on day 6 of your cycle) to find out when the ovulation takes place.

FF I think I will have a word with my French doctor when I see him mid June. Thanks for the info

KMR and Knotty, this miserable state will end, I promise but when you are in it it seems that it lasts for ever. Sharing your pain.

I will stay in France for 3 or 6 months so feel free to come and visit. My mum is not far from Disneyland :) Might push my DH to take DS1 for a day out over there but just very afraid of tantrum when it will be time to go home... :)

Gothinrecovery, I'm so sorry my love. Take care of yourself, and lots of love to you and your husband xxxx

gothinrecovery I'm so so so sorry - love to you and your husband xxxxxxx

*lactulose is perfectly safe with breast feeding - no issues at all.

Kellymom (I think) has a really good list of what is safe to take while BF.

really interesting thread on early induction due to age.

God I wish I could go to France for a year - dreams dreams dreams of it.

Gothin: so very sorry to hear your sad news. Take care of yourself & don't hesitate to take longer off work if necessary - I took 2.5 weeks off after my m/c last year.

I know this is no consolation just now, but I have heard many women say they fell pregnant again just after a loss.

So sorry again about your news xx

Hugs to gothin

Hugs to gothin