40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

Oh I forgot to mention that for 1st pg, no nausea at all fom day 1 to delivery, only symptoms were metallic taste in the mouth, big boobs and sleepy in the first trimester, don't lose hope, be positive, the waiting game is a bit difficult but that is why this thread exists, doesn't it ?

Thanks for the comments everyone , am feeling a bit better today. Some nausea today also boobs are definitely a bit bigger than they were over the last couple of days. Hopefully all nothing to worry about.

Had some spotting yesterday afternoon, and so they are giving me an early scan (8 weeks) on Saturday, which I hope will be reassuring. I haven't feel pregnant recently :-( but it could be paranoia. Yesterday morning I went for a bra fitting though, because my normal bra is lifting off my rib cage. I've gone up TWO sizes to 38E and I'm only 6+3 days!!! So some things are definitely working! :-) Would like to feel sick though, just for reasurance!

It's very stressful at home at the moment, my pregnant stepdaughter is staying with her boyfriend for a few days and they are having screaming fights and drama ("Oh, I've got pains - I'm losing the baby") but then she wouldn't ring the clinic when I gave her the number. Her poor dad - between my scare and hers he's had a bit of a weekend of it! I think they are going back to her mum's today. They don't know about this baby, and I won't be telling them until I feel a lot more secure.

Had some more spotting this morning and they are also giving me an early scan. (I am 6 + 6 as of today) I don't feel very pregnant either, though have had some nausea this morning. Boobs don't seem to be sore exactly either although they are sensitive and DH swears they have grown.

Doctor told me to do a repeat pg test to check still was. Still am but flaming clearblue thing is showing me as 2-3 weeks post conception which is same as 2 weeks ago when I first tested. Didn't POAS first thing in the morning either time which you are meant to to get an accurate result (it says it isn't accurate if you don't) but can't help being worried.

Incaminka - hope everything goes well and stress levels subside a bit.

Incaminka and gothinrecovery, thinking of you both and fingers crossed for your scans.

Thinking of you inca and gothin.

Fjord I went back to work on Thursday feeling well mentally, but not so hot physically - hoping I could work through it. Work is full-on, lots of changes, but I coped.

Now am not well, so off again - in hospital yesterday having become dehydrated through vomiting, and also bringing up blood. Also have a chest infection - I get these a lot when pg. I am still finding breathing painful, and also swallowing as I have a tear in my gullet, which caused the bleeding. I am seriously thinking about finishing for mat leave at 29 weeks, as I feel awful. So much for blooming.

Very low in mood today - I feel so feeble, worrying about my clients and colleagues, my girls are both clingy as are worried about me.

On Saturday I wished I wasn't pregnant (not wishing baby away, just out) and have been feeling bad about that. It is just that life is hard enough without being pregnant, and I am wondering how I will cope as I am only 17 weeks.

Needing a hug from my geriatric buddies x

More spotting. :-(

Sorry Inca fingers and toes crossed for you x

Valium, that sounds horrible - sending lots of hugs to you xxx

Thank you x that helps.

inca & gothinrecovery - thinking of you both and hoping for the best. We can all say 'lots of people have spotting' etc. but I guess nothing helps when you're going through it and it's always best to get it checked out. I hope you both get answers. They were very good at the EPU I went to for an early scan. Hoping to hear positive things from you both soon x

Valium - so sorry to hear you're so sick. Glad you're feeling mentally more on top of things in general but I'm not surprised you're in a low mood with that many physical symptoms to cope with! Probably pretty fed up and, I hate to say it, but if you're that physically sick (w chest infection, coughing up blood etc.) I rather think you should still be off work (although I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear - I remember I was off sick straight after a long period of compassionate leave once & I felt so guilty - but it can't be helped. You won't be any good to the baby or your girls if you get any sicker). I too have lots of worries about how I will cope and then always end up feeling so silly for them as, compared to the worries of many, they are trivial things and I don't have kids of my own to cope with full time. I have increasing awe struck respect and admiration for mothers of 2+ children. I'm not surprised your girls are worried about you. What lovely girls they clearly are :). It must be very frustrating for you but you've been so very strong and coped with so much so admirably. My health was rubbish in the aftermath of my hard times - and I wasn't pregnant as well. Big from me :). Do take care of yourself. These times will pass and you are being incredibly strong to keep managing as well as you are. We're supposed to be a bit feeble when pregnant. I can't even carry heavy shopping anymore or fish things out of the bottom of trolleys and people who don't cut us breaks for our hormonal feebleness are just rubbish people! . Cut yourself a break... :) you're doing brilliantly under the circumstances :) .

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

To be honest the clearblue thing is worrying me more than the spotting is - the spotting is very light but I'm worried the clearblue result means my hormone levels are too low if it's showing same as 2 weeks ago. Instructions said it can read wrong if not done first thing but also said it can read wrong if hormone levels are too high (at 8 weeks or so) but I'm not at that stage yet.

Hope Valium feels better soon, and gothin and my babies stick. Lovely post fiord.

Valium, hope you feel better soon, I know you want to soldier on, but your health is more important than work!!! (hug)

Inca - fingers crossed.

Goth, I never read too much into those predictor tests - fingers crossed again.

I am able to access midwife without notifying GP (phew).

I am on long term sick and tbh my head is absolutely all over the shop, this is such a stressful time for us, this is a huge shock and I dont know how I am going to tell work, (or anyone else for that matter). I tend to a lot of pregnancy bleeding as well and taking it easy with 2 small and 1 biggish one as well as on going issues is going to be hard!!!!

Dont mean to moan, but Im not in the best place, DH is excited and im just worried, worried, worried.

I loves babies (Ive had enough of them), and we wanted another baby loads, Im just panicing.

Valium I guess you know you can stay mat related sick til 5 weeks before baby due when they can kick in may leave.

gothin and inca thinking of you both & hoping for the best - take care of yourselves xx

I'm feeling hormonal today, have been a bit of a space cadet at work. Painted my toenails red after panicking that I may not be able to reach them for much longer (only 9 weeks - LOL!)

Feeling huge already & wondering how much longer I can keep it a secret - next scan in 4 weeks (at 13+3) then need to wait for results of nuchal translucency before we can even think about telling people. If it comes back high risk, then we'll not be making any annoucements until we've thought through our options, or had amniocentesis. By which time I'll be the size of a house & people will be commenting........aaargh.

Anyway, that's my thought of the day - hope you're all doing well & taking it easy x

Thank you everyone for your kind words x

Whatname I didn't know that - I thought it was 11 weeks before due date.

fjord that was a lovely post - so very encouraging. Thank you.

I had a bit of a sleep this afternoon and am feeling a bit brighter. Had my first food which was a bit of a struggle, soft pasta in a cheese sauce lovingly made by DH. I would have happily divorced him on saturday as he had been a wimp with man flu all week, letting me do everything. But on sunday, ok with the prompting of a trip to casualty, he was a gem, and has been ever since x I think he has now realised that I do a lot, and I need looking after.

Thank you again for all your support x

valiumQ- Hugs to you honey,( a super big one). Priority one you and little one. Work will be there when you feel better. Try and get out in the sunshine this week even if you drag a chair into the garden and watch the clouds roll by.

fjord - Hey scan buddy thinking of ya Tuesday, Mines at 1:50 . Take care tommorrow on your journey

Inca and Goth- sending you positive vibes

i have been looking after my kitty who has had a fight which resulted in a trip to the vets two injections and a collar which he hates, he is cuddled up to me in bed and has slept with me and pratner every night bless him.
Well early night for me as a long day before scan and still knackered from work bloody 50 hours last week. Managed some gym work over the weekend so my pilllow is screaming my name

midget - Hope the holiday is going well and you are enjoying yourself

Valium it's def 5 weeks - I was so rough last time work asked me to go sick!

Littered good luck with scan which one is it

lots we are hoping for secrecy until 20 weeks but I think I'll be a beached whale by then!

whatname- 20 weeks scan, will be 21 weeks on thursday. I am a beached whale now and forced to buy big pants on Sunday as my others are being lost in my every expanding bum.

ah big pants!! hate the things.

Have I posted my best post birth care tips on this thread yet.

Hope all is well on Thursday.

Inca and gothin hope you are ok and the spotting is not a prob. Big unMumsnetty hugs for you!!

Valium extra big unMumsnetty hugs for you. Sounds dreadful. Glad to hear you are recovering. Hope your DH keeps up the good work. Sometimes, I think they have zero idea what we are going through.

LRM hope you have had a stern word with kitty and told him to get better and not get in any more fights!! Mine is a fairly expert brawler too. Thank goodness for pet insurance!! Good luck with your scan tomrrow.

Am enjoying new carpets/vinyl in flat. Home feels more hygienic, and am less worried about HV wanting to take baby away on her first visit. Whole processes was massively stressful though and included horrendous argument with Mum and nasty email from neighbour. Not entirely sure what is up with neighbour as email so cryptic can't work out what she was getting at. Tempted to ask her if she's tried Agnus Castus to deal with the nasty PMT she suffers, but that would be childish. Now have to unpack/rearrange stuff, but not going to stress about that wehn the weather is looking so good. Would rather be outside. Wrist not better yet. Getting boring now.

Had an attack of nesting today which helped get things straight. Had a good kip this pm too. I think am on the home run now at 36+2. A friend due the day before me is having a c-sec either tom or Mon, so not long now.

Ooops. That was a bit of a self-indulget post. Waves to all and more hugs to anyone suffering. FF xx

whatname don't think you have posted your top tips. Please do!

LRM - will be thinking of ya :) Mine's at 12.40pm my time so 11.40pm yours. It's only a 10 minute drive away for me. Hope you haven't got too far to go! Sleep well & I hope the cat doesn't have too much of a bad night .