40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

Hi Pinkposey Thats a lovely story. Hope to hear more about your work as I think it sounds amazing and worthwhile.

Midget Hopefully the bleeding is nothing serious. Like I mentioned before, my sil had lots of bleeding throughout and the baby was always fine. Glad you and dd are coming out of that awful sickness. Sounds absolutely horrendous.

1000ff you must be relieved to have your wrist on the mend. I remember having loads of weird ached and pains in my previous pregnancies. I think ligaments soften and all manner of strange goings on occur. Its a weird time.

LRM Hope your feeling better. Eat what you like as you probably need the calories and energy boost.

hpbp your work is awful. I hate them too! I hope you get things sorted soon.

I am definitely finding out the sex as I would love a girl this time. I have two gorgeous boys already and a part of me is thinking this may be a girl as this pregnancy feels a bit different to the other two (I know thats not necessarily true). I'll have to get used to the idea if its a boy so I need to find out.

I have also started feeling slight movements every now and then (16 weeks). It is amazing and now it feels more real.

I still have not had a midwife appointment yet. I've called them loads but nothing seems to be going on. I will harass them again today.

Morning ladies,
Thanks for the well wishes, taken today off work again to rest. Have a terrible headache and the runs which is not lovely. Thank god for digestive and ginger nut biscuits. Feel quite drained as well. The sofa and duvet is my friend, also kitty is next to me and when I nip to get a drink or the loo he jumps in my warm spot cheeky monkey. Keep getting stink eye when I move him across.

midget- Morning honey, how ya doing today ? Hope your consultation goes well and you and little midget get a thumbs up. Hows DD feeling today?

ff- How did ya get on with the splint on last night, did you sleep ok?

Hpbp - Can't imagine how stressful work must be at the moment for you. When will you find out what is on the table for you? Have you had an legal advise.

fjord- when is your 20 week scan? I hope they can see when I have mine. If they cant I will go into the waiting room do and hand stand and go back in and try again.

Looking through my work policy and thinking how long I want off work 40 weeks paid and return or an additional 12 weeks unpaid. what did some of you super experiences ladies do first time around.

afternoon all! I've been away for a bit and have missed lots. Big welcome pinkposey - your life sounds exciting! Is it trickier being pregnant over there? I bet there's so much in the way of access to help we all take for granted. Sorry to hear of all the sickness, aches and pains. lrm rest up! Midget I really hope all is OK. It seems so easy to dislodge a little blood, scares the pants of us, but baby is usually completely fine.

I def want to know the gender - think it will help me get to know this LO, decide on a name and imagine our future family :) Does anyone else sometimes doubt they've got anything in there?? as the scan gets further away, the pics seem unreal and I keep dreaming about not being pg... Is 16 weeks the usual time to start feeling the baby? I've been feeling weird sensations from time to time like tiny rising bubbles inside me (and I don't mean wind!!) for a few weeks now, but I'm only 14 weeks so it must be too early, unless I'm mega sensitive. Actually my rubbish pain threshold suggests I may be...

I love the pram advice- I have completely no idea where to start, so if anyone else wants to follow fjord and hpbp 's lead and run me through their decisions that would be fantastic! (ditto birth choices, baby sleeping arrangements...) I think our's will be stuck in a baby sling for months until we get the hang of wheels.

How's everyone doing with drinking gallons of water? I seem to forget in the day, then am sooo thirsty at night and drink loads (making for extra loo trips)

I don't know what to do about maternity leave either - do you need to decide when you are leaving and how long you are taking much in advance, or does it depend employer to employer? What a know-nothing! I think my boss would like to know, but I doubt we will have decided for a while as it involves complicated decisions about both our jobs as well as having no idea how I'll feel about it when LO is here and I need to wrench myself away from picnics on the beach to go back to horrible work... actually, what am I saying - I have a pretty good idea! with your story on here hpbp though I know I'm lucky to have a job to go back to, I hope things get tied up quickly - what a horrible situation.

bytheseaside xxx

bytheseaside - Oh picnics on the beach sound lovely, I am very jealous. When I lived in Hong Kong I lived next to the beach and use to love a good walk in the evenings and can remember all the fun I had as a kid playing and swimming. Looking forward to a few summer evening walks when it stops bloody raining.
Maternity leave wise I will leave 9th September using 4 weeks of my holiday entitlement starting my mat payments start week when little bean is born ( maybe earlier you never know may pop out when it gets bored of my dusty womb!!!). I have to give 15 weeks notice before birth when I want to start my leave i have to submit a letter which is due 21st June I know I am early but crap time keeps flying by only seems a few weeks ago I found out and now 19 weeks this Thursday. Its all happening so quickly
I started feeling little bean well I think I did not been pregnant before so I am only going on what I have been told. I feel like I have a massive bag of spuds strapped to my belly as well. I do have ligament stretching which feels strange but getting use to it after 5 weeks. feels like a ball rolling about inside partner is excited when I say I can feel something. He keeps rubbing every evening cream on my belly which is lovely took me a couple of times not to keep giggling as it tickles.

I am terrible at drinking water, drink tons and tons of decaf green tea which makes for loads of loo runs. My night trips are now down to 1 but sure that will increase as someone will be pushing down on my bowels.

Hello lovely ladies, checking in to find out how you're all doing. I've just read the last page but, gosh, you've all been chatting a lot! We spent a wet and windy week on your side of the water in Weymouth and had a wonderful time catching up with DM:). House hunting has gone well and our offer on a 4 bed house (yes, "house", not "flat":):)) has been accepted so we're crossing fingers that all goes well financially.

Will now sit back with my imported Hobnobs and read through your most recent adventures. [waves 'au revoir'].

Hello everyone, do you mind if I join? I am 42 and expecting baby on 12th January 2013, and I will be 43 by then. This will be my 1st, apart from an mc 2 years ago - so am very scared for my little bean!

Hey Incaminka, Welcome to the oldies gang, I am also excepting my first I am 43 due 4th October. Congrats and come join our little gang, all the ladies here are brillant. Some of us are expecting our first and some have other children ( so fab when it comes to advise and support .) . I spent the 2 weeks after finding out in a mental melt down worry worry worry. I have had no sickness and besides being tired I am ok. Scans have been good. Hoping the same for you. Try not to be scared , easier said then done. Enjoy being spoiled by others . Please use us to rant and laugh when ever u need us.

midget - Hope you got on ok with your consultation honey?

Zimbo - Good to hear from you. YEH !!! on the house front really exciting news. Enjoy your hobnobs !!! Cant beat a quality biscuit, what am I saying you cant beat any biscuit !!!! I could send my CV to mcvities and ask them to send me biscuit samples for approval as a tester!

Well off to prepare some tea, chilli and rice I think. Not much of a cook unless it is brown ie pie, chips, pizza. Little bean will need me to update my cooking skills

Ladies,

I am so lucky to have found you all, the support you are giving me on the work issue means a lot. I am still debating whether I should drop for the sake of the pg, or I should not let it go because it is not my nature to run away and let other walk on me.
The new development today is the content of the compromise agreement, it is a joke. I can tell you. It is so close to the minimum legal entitlement that I would not lose anything if I don't sign it. And they are being so cheap to want to get rid of me before ML starts so that they don't have to pay for annual leave accrued during ML... hello, we are talking about 20 days here as I am a part timer... who can think that 20 days of hols to pay can make a business go in the red ???? My lawyer will laugh.
But enough about me.

Incaminka, I hope you will like it here. We also have moments of laughter between our pg related worries, I promise.

Exexe, did you get hold of the MW ? enjoy the fluttering

Midget, what did the consultant say about the bleeding ? how is your DD ?

Zimbo, I happened to mention you a few hours ago and here you are, telepathie ? :) glad you found a HOUSE, don't tell me in the Western part of Paris suburbs... I would be so jealous

Bytheseaside, you need to let your employer know in writing when you plan to start ML between 20 and 15 weeks before your due date, remember to get the MatB1 certificate from the MW. Let the employer know as well if you plan to take some of your annual leave before the ML starts. You will be accruing hols during your ML. You don't need to specify when you plan to return from ML. Because you can do so 28 days before you plan to come back to work. Check your contract. As I am talking about the statutory rights only.

LRM maybe the chili and rice will make your little bean move much more.

Time to pick up DS1. Will catch up tonight with you all.

XXXX

Hpbp- Good lord, what a drama for you. They dont seem to have a human bone in their bodies for christ sake 20 days is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I can hear your legal team laughing all the way up here is the north. Let us know how it goes. Ps - Dont let it go dig those heels right in, they are hoping you will be easier because you dont want the hassle being pregnant, use those hormones to your advantage.

I dropped my cup of tea all over my phone on Monday evening and it is now knackered. Tried to dry it out and it switches on but its like their is a ghost operating it as it flicks between screens then repeats the same again. Bugger poo!!! . Lost my glasses last week at work somewhere and have searched high and low. I only have them for reading but still paid quite a bit for them. Got my kindle on larger print. Got to buy a new pair as my work documents are printed so small it is crazy just dont fancy parting with pram money for glasses and phone. Think baby brain is causing me to be very clumsy and forgetful. ( probably age but got to blame something). Partner is convinced I will leave little bean in the middle of tesco and come home, thinking I know I have forgotten something but what !!!!!!

Have to share this with you ladies made me laugh like hell..

Stupid question to ask a pregnant lady (well me anyway) by partner
" Have you farted?"
Of course i farted that is all I seem to do at the moment

If it wasn't you LRM then it was probably me. Are you feeling better?

Well no answers from the consultant on the bleeding but they don't seem too worried so I will try and take a leaf from their book and chill a bit. Slightly embarrassing incident with a SHO who seemed about 20 years old when he discussed my POSITIVE syphilis test . I honestly didn't know where to put myself. Anyway cut a long story short and lots of conversations with the senior consultants it is a false positive. Just to have another test done to confirm the previous negative. Me and DH were dumbfounded to say the least. But it was quite amusing in a wanting the ground to swallow you up and die kind of way. Anyway they tested me, swabbed me, listened to the HB and all that jazz. So if there is any thing at the root of the bleed they should find it. We went through my last birth and how to stop the issues that occurred and said I could have an ELC if I want one - don't think I do though but DH really wants me to as he was so worried sick with DD. I am getting scanned every 4 weeks by the consultant (My DD was low birth weight) and they won't be letting me go beyond 40 weeks (fine by me - the last bit of pregnancy sucks!). Feel like I am in very good hands so I will try and relax and hope this spotting now buggers off so I can enjoy it. DH seems to think we shouldn't go away on Tuesday - the consultant brushed this off - I think I love her. So we are off for a week in the sun on Tuesday as long as there are no more baby related dramas between now and then. Things are on the up in the midget household.

HP I know this is easier said than done but spend as little time thinking about the compromise as you can. Let your lawyer deal with it - that is what they are for. You concentrate on yourself. Having been through the exact same thing I speak from personal and bitter experience. You really will forget about it when it is all done - let other people do the worrying for you. And remember it is a poker game - it is just a game. I know it doesn't feel like that now but it really is.

Welcome back Zimbo and bytheseaside

Right after the syphilis drama of the day - I must be off to bed

Morning ladies
Midget - Glad everything is ok and OMG you must have nearly died when they gave you that test result, good job the room was not full of students eh !!! I remember having a heart scan and the room was full of students all trying to look professional but I could read their minds as they stared at my boobs, so embrassing. Thinking about it now its nothing to what is coming in October.
Sounds like they took care of you and you sound more relaxed and yes you must go and get some sun the doctor ordered it, did she not. Where are you going with some sunshine so you can make us all jealous!!
Hows DD as well hope she is on the mend .

FF - Hows your wrist doing today ?

Day off today and feel better and I have eaten my way through the biscuit tin in the last three days. Have just spent an hour on the phone sorting out insurance for the homestead and cancelling some bank stuff. I am in a share save at work and my maternity starts 2 months before the maturity date, they wont take any money out my account when on maternity pay. I would have to wait till I return to work in Oct 2013 to pay the other 2 months. Sorted it in the end but crap somethings are so hard sometimes it drives you mad.

Hope everyone has a nice day

Midget! Syphilis! Sorry but I laughed at that. What an odd scenario.

I have another headache today! Does anyone else get more headaches?
I'm getting fed up of them and seem to be getting through paracetamols like they're sweets or something.

Has anyone had any cravings? I seem to be craving liquids all the time and have been downing sparkling water! Also juice but trying to control that as its high in sugar.

hey Exexe - Yeh I have had quite a few headaches. I have put mine down trying to have decaf tea and coffee some days and having caffeine crash. I had the same when I did a detox week and had no tea or coffee , for 2 days my head was pounding. I seem to have a headache every other day so I know what you mean. I do need to get my sugar levels under control though my down side at the moment.

Hi ladies. Been away a while. So much to read.
Really feeling in limbo at the moment. I am 20 weeks and desparately waiting for my 20 week scan. Feeling really anxious that something will be wrong. Even had a dream last night to that effect.
I also agree about the headaches. I have had a couple recently too. Not long lasting but enough to make me worry.
Guess I am anxious as tbh this is my last chance to have another baby.
Also realisition hit me that I will be 60 when this baby is 16. Not sure how I feel about that.

Hi all and thanks for the welcome! Yes, we are very lucky to have beautiful weather every day, that's a real bonus of living here, I'm trying to make the most of that and to get to the swimming pool as often as I can. There are lots of benefits of this life, like I have someone who helps me with the housework, but there are downsides too, like it can get extremely lonely sometimes, especially as my husband travels masses with his work, and is often away.

Last time too, we came back to the UK for all the scans, but we live further away this time, and with both me and my son, it'd be a big trip, so we'll probably do them here, I'm not sure. I'm looking into all that now...

I'm still totally excited about being pregnant and can hardly believe it :-) I feel like the luckiest person, I really didn't think this was going to happen.

I will certainly found out the sex of the baby as soon as we can, I think with my son, it helped me to feel I was identifying with him before he was born when I could give him his name for some reason.

I read on this thread about lots of women being really thirsty specifically during the night. I have that too. Does anyone know why it is??

Hey york 67, good to see you. I am 19 weeks today and my scan is due 22nd May does seem ages away but thinking this week only seems 5 mins since I found out in Feb at 4 weeks. But I know what you mean about feeling anxious about the scan. When is yours due? Was you low risk from your 1st scan ? As for dreams good lord mine have been mental, people I have not seen in years popping up and very vivid garbage . Also I am having a boy as I was washing blue clothes while on a train. Amazed how vivid the dreams are.

My bean will be 17 when I am 60, some days I am worried about it, but in some ways they may keep us young in spirit. I was more worried about being called grandma in the play ground but what the hell. Will have to invest in a good moisturiser and pull my hair in a tight pony tail to drag back the excess skin ahahahah !!!! I asked my friend as his mum was older then us and he said he didnt care or notice her age, he was happy as she was mum. Life sucks that age creeps up so fast, so we need to enjoy it and make the most of everything.

Been off work for three days and not looking forward to going back should have pre baby mat leave and then normal mat leave. I am liking my nesting time and biscuits on tap

I have an age issue too but you have to ignore it and get on with life.
I was reading an article that said that as many people live into their 80's, theres every chance that you could be celebrating the child you had in your 40's 40th birthday.
people can get ill or die at any age, someone who had their child in their 20's may not be around to see them grow.

We just have to be thankful for what we have and make the most of it.

Just take your vits, eat healthy, invest in a good moisturiser, do gentle exercise and we'll look and be fine

LRM, Midget, you made me smile with your stories, thanks for that. Syphilis, oh dear, I would certainly burst in laughter but I don't know if my OH would.... And the wind, I have not experienced that. But baby brain yes certainly, forgetful and unable to add 2 to 2 without my fingers....
And feeling thirsty, exexe, PinkPosey, all the time, so lots of trips to the loo, but on the bright side, not very worried with constipation ! I try too to stick with water, still or sparkling but I really like Guarana, a Brazilian plant which makes a wonderful soda. Very glad I cannot always find it all the time.

20 weeks scan coming up, hey ! That is exciting. Anyone thinking about 3D scans ? I accidentaly had one on the baby's face, I got scared, she looked so skinny and old... But it is normal at this stage because it is in the last weeks that our beans are putting on weight... so how come I have some extra weight from day 1???!!!

I have started washing baby's cloth, 0-3 months, they look so tiny, I forgot that.
The pram is sorted, I will be using my sister's Bebe Confort, it is a bit bulky but very comfy and the carry cot can be secured on the back seats in my car, I don't know though if I can fit in at the same time a carseat for DS1. Carseats for newborn are not recommended for more than 30 minutes, but with traffic jams, you never know how long you will be inthe car.

Will be back in a sec, DS1 just dropped a box full of rice ! Will show him how to sweep the floor...

Hi I'm new and am 40 and only just found out am pregnant.

Am going it alone though as my ex boyfriend isnt interested as we'd not known each other very long and it happened the first time

Am so bleeding scared though, have 2 children already aged 12 and almost 10. Just didnt envisage this happening to me.

Evening all! Gosh, I miss a couple of days and so much to read & comment on!

Not having headaches, but then I'm still drinking one coffee a day - figured I'd stick to the 200mg as going cold turkey didn't feel like an option when I felt rubbish in 1st trimester.

pinkposey - I think you win the 'most exotic location' award out of us foreign based mums to be. Perhaps we need an 'ex-pat & pregnant' group as well? There seem to be a few of us... :)

LRM - still haven't received the date for my '20 week scan' even though I'll be 20 weeks in like 9 days! Going to try to chase it tomorrow but my gynaecology specialist's office don't seem to have been keen to answer the phone as yet. Wish I could do handstands . I hear loud music helps? Also 'lolz' at 'have you farted'! - I read that out to DP and he said 'What? You mean other pregnant women fart like troopers?' (charmed I am )

bytheseaside - I felt the baby a lot (the 'flutters') around 15 weeks. The sonographer said I might feel it 'early' because of my 'crowded abdomen' with all my fibroids. Unfortunately I stopped feeling these things around 16 or so weeks when my uterus moved so I'm practically gagging to feel something again. I also feel like loads of water and find I 'need' more than 2 litres of liquid a day to not feel very thirsty. However, it all goes wrong if I 'forget' to drink enough before the evening and then feel very thirsty...dilemma...to drink and have 6 night pees or to suffer the thirst? Hmmmm...

Nice to hear from you zimbomaman :) The house sounds great!

Midgetm - lol & empathy at the indignity of the syphilis result! You're really going through it at the moment! I do hope you get to go on your trip and nothing else gets in your way!

Think I'd better start another post as still so much to comment on and I'm sure people lose the will to live with my long-winded posts... .

Incaminka - I am 41 and pregnant with my first. I felt very scared at first but after a couple of scans and tests that showed everything to be 'normal' I've chilled out a bit. I am a bit 'high risk' because I have big fibroids but I've been made to feel very relaxed by the fact no-one's that worried it seems. Docs & midwives seem far more concerned about my high BMI than my age. Hopefully as your pregnancy progresses you won't feel so scared but a degree of 'freak out' at first seems pretty common amongst us older first time mums.

york67 - I feel totally the same about the 20 week scan. Despite no symptoms that would show anything to be wrong, I'm starting to feel like it's all 'stopped' in there as I feel nothing at all. It's about time for some more reassurance and 'connection'. Do you have a date for yours? Is it soon?

Re the age stuff -it is an odd feeling when you look at it like that. I will be 60 when mine is 18/19. However, my parents were 59 and 60 when I was that age and I never felt weird about their ages (well only once when I was about 15...my mum was totally grey and 55 by then and she came to pick me up from a new boyfriend's once and I got called from downstairs 'Hey, there's some little old lady at the door for you. Your grandma?' but mostly no-one ever noticed as they both looked young for their ages). My mum is still with us and my dad died last year but I also know friends from when I was a child who lost their 'young' mum in her mid/late thirties to cancer when they were 12 & 17 and another cousin whose mum had her at 18 lost her mum when the mum was only 51 to cancer also.

I just feel life works out the way it works out. For some having grandparents in their fifties is normal, for me, having grandparents in their eighties as a child was normal. I don't feel I lost anything for it. If anything, my parents were very focused on me as they had waited a long time and had already lived a lot of life.

It's a bit weird being 'older' here in Norway as the 'norm' is to start families between 17-26 and having first kids over 34 even is still somewhat a rarity here. I'm lucky that people say I look 10 years younger than I am so I hope I won't be mistaken for 'grandma' at the school gate. But whatever. As long as my child doesn't suffer, I don't care what people think of me. Trying to be a good mum is the only important thing to me.

PinkLaydee - I feel for your situation. I'm not surprised you feel scared. That's a tough one. Surely your ex will be interested in participating in his child's life? It must feel daunting if you are already a single parent. Coincidentally, my baby will be half brother/sister to my partner's 2 girls who are also 10 and 12. How many weeks are you? Have you told any family/friends? Feel free to bring your fears here - most of us seem to have had wobbles. I was certainly terrified when I first found out (but with a partner - it is however my first at 41). x

Hi Pinklaydee sorry about your situation. It must be nerbe wracking but I'm sure you have the strength to deal with it. Post whatever you like and I'm sure all of us are happy to give any support we can.

I'm still drinking coffee. I have never given up coffee in any of my pregnancies but I only drink 1 or 2 cups a day. I did go off coffee for a while during this pregnancy. The smell made me sick but I love it again now.

Still no luck with midwife appointments. Its because I don't want to go to the local hospital so all the administration gets far too much apparently

I've told work now and all family and close friends know now. The only person I haven't told lives a bit further away so thankfully no mutual friends but who's seemed obsessed with trying to put me off having 3 children despite having 3 herself

Luckily I didn't need induction, baby Nathan Christopherwas born 5th may at 0035' I had a Natural delivery gas and air in birth centre, my partner and his mum were there also. Unfortunately I tore so he ended stitches, lost a lot of blood also, but so far so good breast feeding and adjusting to life as a mum.

Sosweet, congratulations ! Welcome to Nathan Christopher ! Very happy everything went well for your little boy. Keep us posted on motherhood. I had stitches too, a bit uncomfortable but you will heal quickly and forget all about that soon. Enjoy.