40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

Welcome LotsofCheese and Pixie. Pixie you need a booking appointment with a midwife at around 9 weeks. They take a medical history from you, do bloods and BP, and give you some general advice. This is before the 12 week scan.

HPBP great news on your LO. I see you have also been recommended induction after 40 weeks. LRM you'll probably be told the same at your appointment with consultant. I need to do some more reading and studying on the matter. Found my Doula friend's advice on acupunture interesting.

banana hope your LO arrives safe and well soon!

I am knackered. Tiring day Thurs looking at baby and house stuff. Desperately need new flooring - horrible old carpets here - just have enough time to get it fitted if LO not early. Have most of stuff for LO now, but have failed completely WRT pram. Keep changing my mind, so might just get a cheapie buggy suitable from birth while the indecision continues!! Yesterday went to first NCT class. Pretty really as day (1000-1615) a bit padded out and really didn't cover anything I haven't learnt already from books/MN, but really lovely group of ladies so hoping they'll be nice and sociable.

Waves to everyone. Sorry, haven't been able to absorb all your news... just sooo tired! Have a lovely weekend. FF xx

Pixie you should definitely get a scan at 12 weeks. You may have to push for it like I did. I still haven't seen a midwife yet either although this is my 3rd pregnancy so I'm not overly fussed yet.

I'm finding it difficult being pregnant this time. Not physically or anything but I just wish I could fast forward to when the baby is aleady here and I'm 6 weeks post birth!

afternoon ladies
Final got my feet up after the gym, swimming , boring trip around tesco and iceland. Done out the house. Other half is decorating the kitchen. Looking forward to being provided by dominos pizza a treat and some ice cream. Treat after working 50 hours this week. Amazed how quick I have got to 4 months pregnant and no issues. I am very grateful and keep everything crossed including my legs when out and about thinking where is the next loo located and please no queue.
Got my results from scan and bloods as low risk in the post today 1 in 1800. So pleased with those, as worried.
10000 fireflies - Re : consulation I have at the hospital this Monday what do you think he will say to me?

LRM brilliant news re combined results. I bet they tell you you'll need to be induced at 40 weeks.

Hope everyone's remembering to do pelvic floor exercises :)

Great news with results LRM - mine was 1:1165 or something & I was thrilled but that's great :)

Thanks for the reminder to start exexe!

Afternoon all, arrived back from eating my way round the lakes and still away from london till tomorrow and saying at my in laws. Going to try and drag arse to gym but done nothing since pilates on Monday, just struggling to fit it all in with ft work and DD. quite cross with myself as promised myself I would keep fitness up and already letting it slide a lot. Where's this 2nd trimester energy buggered off to? Is it because I is old? Hope you all have more pep in your step than me currently! X

Thanks exexe for tip I forget all the time to do those exercises. !!!!.
Glad you had a good time Midgetm around the lakes. If it makes you feel better I did not go to the gym till Saturday and I use to go 4 times a week. Working full time is exhausting. Kind of hoping we have a nice summer but not monster hot as it will be hell for us ladies. Only had a holiday the other week but need another one again.
Keep debating mat leave and how long prior to bubbs being born to take. With my work place I get 14 weeks full pay then 26 weeks of smp, then 12 weeks unpaid. So I can take a year. I have 3 weeks holiday I can take prior to mat so would be around 3rd Sept, so 4 weeks before birth. What is everyone else thinking of doing. Keep thinking start a couple of weeks earlier then that enjoy the summer. Also not sure I fancy working in my retail environment as my floor is hot as hell so not great.

what's this place called 'the gym' that you all keep talking about?? The most I can manage these days is a gentle amble...

When I find it again, I'll let you know x

I thought SMP was for a full year. I have only ever had six months off so the agreement was if I had a third I would take a full year. Not sure I could cope with 3 months of nothing, but I need to offset that against two full time childcare placements and after school care for my eldest. If I take a year then Billie would qualify for reduced fees due to being entitled to pre pre school hours.

I have tried having short weeks until near delivery - not good as I just did 5 days work in 3. I also finished at week 34 and that nearly finished me off as I also had DD1 to care for. With this one I plan to finish around week 30 and use annual and parental leave. I think it depends a lot on your health, your commute, your job, your family income, how long you plan to have off, and if you have other children. I am looking forward to spending quality time with the girls before the little imposter arrives.

Fjord, LRM, congrats on the Combined risk results ! That is a relief, I'm sure.
Exexe, pelvic floor exercises.... Midget, gym.... OMG these words are so unusual in my life before pg, it is even worse now at 26 weeks.... But all of you who can still keep fit, you are so impressive ! Hats down from me, ladies.
I am having some hols in France with mum, OH and DS1. 10 days to chill out and being looked after.... I cannot complain ! Although the French elections are just as dark and stormy as the weather...
Take care all

Hi ladies
Bytheseaside - Gym is that strange place you go when you have a grain of energy, and regret going once you are ther but poer through hoping for the best. I have not gone this evening as I feel a tad queer. Not sick but a bit faint, I have eaten so not sure why. I am sat in bed doing squat while partner is at the gym. Also my brain says go to the gym but bump say no stay at home have some biscuits and a cup of green tea and do nothing you silly women. Why go and make yourself feel bad looking at some 20 something who makes you depressed and you only really want cake.
Ps . also went for a gentle amble to the shops for a snickers and ambled back !!!

valium - I only get 26 weeks smp as my place pays first 14 weeks full pay. I can take off a further 12 weeks but un paid. We dont have any kids. We saved like mad 5 years ago and paid off our mortage off which is a plus. I have to hand in by June my letter stating my start date and cant decide power through summer and go in September or go in August. Bummer the letter has to be so early as I have no clue how I will feel in 3 months time. Travel wise partner drops me off in the morning and is only 10 mins drive away. Just working 40 hours a week is draining. All my mate say ah what you talking about working in shop is easy, bloody isnt hard work retail. Good old M&S are very good to me so cant complain it will just be the heat in the shop that will be the killer.

Hpbp - Have lovely time being spoiled and hope you have better weather then we are having.

Lotsofcheese and pixie - How you ladies doing ?

Been for a consulation at the hospital today. Waited an hour, had to keep wizzing to the loo while mum was on name listen out. Dropped my ring down the toilet debated not fishing it out but did in the end to the horror of my mum and partner. Washed hands and ring lord knows how many times. Washed my hands initially and as I shock off the water ready to dry my ring shot off, couldnt go on the floor no had to go in the bloody loo.
Midwife saw me first , she was one chipper lady which was nice nothing worse then some misery. Looked through my notes said groovy went to get the doctor who also said groovy and sent me on my way. Just asked if they have any terror drugs they can give me during labour as a tad worried to death about the whole situation as my bump is now quite large and it is all very real and keep think crap I am going to have a baby and its a bit scary. ( cant watch one born every minute or I would not sleep for a month ) !!!!! I am hoping my waves of panic the last week or so are normal and will come and go.

Well happy Monday evening to you all. Thinking of banana as she was due on the 21 April . xxx

Littlered. As you do not have any other weans, I would vote to finish later rather than sooner - if you have too long off before due date the wait can be unbearably dull. Maybe work would be a distraction. Perhaps using two days annual leave for the last few weeks as I am guessing your work is fairly constant - I have clients who I have to see so was seeing them all in three days instead of five, and having to train up my replacememt. You mentioned the heat - could you request a change to a different departmemt that may be more comfy? I would have thought your company would be air conditioned! About your pay, would it be worth asking if they could give equal payments over the time you are off so you get the full entitlement of SMP. The NHS can do it, and it will not cost any more to the company. Lucky you having paid off your mortgage. I had done that by 30, then met DH and have had to move so now have a big fat one!

Apologies for the lack of paragraphs. On Blackberry which is pretty shite!

Exexe I weighed in and have put on 5.5lb in three weeks. Oops! I am back on the wagon though once I have eaten all my birthday cake. This will be done by midnight if not before.

am doing fine, thanks for asking! spoke to the molar pregnancy nurse this morning, she didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know ie that I need an early scan via EPAU to exclude recurrence of the mole (v. unlikely) - so am seeing my GP 1st thing on Thursday morning for a referral.

on another note, am feeling distinctly non-pregnant - I suppose at 5 weeks there's plenty of time for that to change!

omg just found out am preggers. Nearly 40, already have 2 DS (7 and 4- will be 8 & 5 when next one comes along). just OMG. what was I thinking? veryworried already about health risks - scared and sort of wish hadn't agreed to try for number 3. I have grey hairs - and just feel old. Yikes!

Welcome KMR perfectly normal feelings I would say! It will take a while to sink in. I am also expecting DC3 and that in itself is scary! About your age though - you are technically not old enough for this thread, but you are welcome to stay!

Congratulations KMR281 - this is my number 4 - WHAT WAS I THINKING! (Although actually it was a mistake, wasn't thinking at all at the time, which was the problem! )

Hi Littleredmonkey - well, I am now 3 days overdue and patiently waiting. No signs as yet that anything is brewing. Ideally it would come in the next few days and I can avoid being induced next Wednesday.

I agree that if you can work longer beforehand, you will appreciate more time afterwards at home with the baby. Definitely get M&S to get you a seat, a fan, and a couple of slaves!!

glad I've found this board! I am sort of swithering between the future stresses of having 3 kids, the age gap, prob needing a new car, and just the Awwww factor of getting new baby! mixed up!.

Just to say, I m 48 on sat, and have DD (10 weeks) asleep in the crook of my arm. DS (3) is in the process of being put to bed by Dad. Good luck everyone!

Hi! Ladies
Will it be ok to join you? I'm currently 40 and pregnant with DC4 (14 weeks), due 23 October. Already have DD aged 10, DS1 aged 9 and DS2 who'll be 1 years old this Saturday. So yes when current pregnancy is due DS2 will be 18 months old and I'll be 41. Have plenty to share with you all, if you'll have me.

Welcome new ladies. I can second age gap thing. I will have an 8 and 6 year old and a newborn. Both dc are thrilled though. Sure it will be fine.

Evening all and welcome to all the newbies :)

Belated Happy Birthday Valium :) Hope your LO's are a bit better and that you had a nice time and enjoyed your cake (Mmm cake :)).

KMR281 - personally I'm a 41 year old 1st timer (16+3 and no ante-natal care yet) but the one positive thing I can say is that it's supposed to be much safer to have kids at this age if you've already had kids, than as a 1st timer like me. Don't feel old :). You'd be surprised how commonplace over-40's are now in the sonographers rooms... :)

MummyWilliams - wow 4! I did a double take when I saw your name as when I'm not being a Fjordmor I'm a 'Williams' too :)

Midgetm - also still searching for that holy grail of 2nd trimester energy...good show on eating your way around the lakes btw if I didn't say before :) but LRM - gym? Not sure I'm with you...although I did contemplate a little at home Tai Chi for about 15 mins today... .

Not much pregnancy-wise to say tonight. It has all been about the hormones of DSD1 (12) and her multiple period/anxiety related spoiled tantrums. I have just been out 'for a walk' and when they've both gone to bed (even DSD2 wanted to go to bed as a 'break'), I shall treat myself to a small and a little chocolate, as it's been bloody stressful and I've had enough being a bystander to selfish entitlement (in Norwegian) for one night...