40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

Oh bollocks!

Oh bollocks indeed. Bless your cotton socks ValiumQueen. You must be beyond exhausted. Auto pilot must have kicked in days ago.

Hope they both recover quickly. You and need to be fit ready for easter honey xx
Pram wise it is really weird. 4 weeks ago I would have been window shopping for handbags and such crap, but noticed today I was checking out everyones prams and buggys. !!!
midgetm - Yes pizza was swapped for mcdonalds burgers and fries while we both sat in the car chatting. Film and popcorn was nice. Went to the gym again and I have found I get knackered much quicker then I use to or it could be I cant be arsed . Came home and washed the car. We will need to sell it soon, sports car is not really going to work for wee one. I use to have a vw beetle before this one so will look again.
Just throught oh crap and slighlty selfish but I am going to be pregnant during the summer, work is going to hell, its hot now good help me when it gets to the point of sweating to death. May buy a fan now. I saw a picture of the maternity dress they think they are getting me to wear also. ITS POLYESTER I will die in it sweating plus it looks like something from 1950's .I think my colleagues Cheeky bastards !!! want me to wear it so they can all have a good laugh. I dont wear dresses I dont even own one. I did buy a skirt the other day which caused a fuss by some of the ladies and they went nuts when they saw it had flowers on. I have bought some cotton trousers for myself . I went inot omothercare and they had tshirts on with I love my bump on !! dont think I could wear them either. So big t-shirts and leggings for summer.

Hi everyone! I am 40 in 3 weeks and find myself pregnant after being told I have 2% chance through IVF to conceive, so never bothered. After 12 yrs of marriage and 1 adopted child later, this is a massive shock! Hubby has upset me today by telling me to stop talking about it all the time, he wants it to be natural! It has made me question how much he loves me/us.

Hey Tigger8 Glad u found us !!!
Give hubby a couple of days to get his head around it. You have been married 12 years and have a child and been through IVF so huge challenges as it is in your life. So dont worry and take a few days . Use us to chat about what ever you need to. I crapped myself when I found out I was pregnant. Me and partner said if I got to 43 and no baby we would leave it as the way it was to be. 2 days before I was 43 I took the test and blow my mind it said positive. It took me 4 weeks to get my head around it. I went to the doctors in tears not able to cope and I did not want to think about it. I am cool now ( well still shitting myself a bit every day ). Everyone handles things differently. I should know I really did freak out and not in a good way. We planned it but boy nothing prepared me for that positive test.
How far along are you oh and by the way
CONGRATULATIONS [SMILE]

sorry Tigger 8 just seen other post u r 24 weeks. Do you know if you are having a boy or girl or waiting for a surprise ?

We are having a girl. Feel better this morning - bloody hormones - one minute your head is all over the place, next minute, well, you feel 'normal' again! I just think hubby was being a bit blunt and should've kept his thoughts to himself! Well, he certainly knows that now - for sure!! 24weeks in I am not crapping myself, just still in this state of shock, like I'm living in this parallel universe and this isn't really happening to me. I feel so blessed and excited!

What are you having and when?

Morning all, Welcome Tigger no wonder you are both going through it right now. It really must be a total shock tp the pair of you. DH's though really need to learn that they need to think through their comments when we have the pregnancy hormones raging. I nearly murdered DH in Selfridges yesterday becasue of a flip comment. They need to pick their words more wisely. Anyway - it is totally 'natural' to want to talk about it all the time. I know I do but I do a lot of it on here as I know DH is less keen! Congratualtions on being team pink. I can't wait to find out - didn't bother first time round but think I will crack this time.

Well I am knackered today. Shopping yesterday = big mistake. I was nauseous, grumpy and tired and I think DH and DD were all of those things too - either way they drove me mental and it was a foolish exercise.... Shopping on line for me until in the second trimester.

VQ hope the lurgy is leaving your house, in fact I think it may be on the way here as I seem to have 'virtually' caught some of the cold germs you all had. Feeling decidely dodgy today.

Happy Monday everyone x

Hey everyone, being feeling a little weepy and isolated these past couple of days. My DF passed away a year ago this week and I've been thinking about how elated he was when we called two years ago to say we were expecting DD2. He had the courage to make the journey over to see us when she was born and stayed through to Christmas and that's the last time we saw him. This time it's just DM and the whole family just doesn't seem 'balanced' anymore.

The pram buying exercise is just so, so difficult - we ended up with a Chicco Living Trio for DD2 which does the business very nicely but wouldn't advise it for anyone taking public transport regularly as it is a little heavy.

Hope you're all OK and keeping your hormones in check. Happy Monday people.

Ah, thanks for the kind words of reassurance Midgetm! We decided to find out the gender just because I, being a shopaholic, couldn't wait to start buying! Our adopted daughter was 1 when she came home, just entering toddlerdom, so it's so exciting the thought of having a baby! I have had a 'well' day today. Some days, though, all I want to do is sleep. I am so chuffed that the metallic taste has disappeared today and I can now taste flavours not just old pennies! What is also great is that, at nearly 24 wks, I don't look like a fatty anymore but actually pregnant!

x

Hello all - welcome Tigger. DH/DPs can be a bit crap - had a bit of a ding dong last night with mine for seeming so underwhelmed about everything when I've been through/going through so much. I think men are, mostly, just really crap at recognising/articulating their feelings and like Midgetm says, we're so sensitive with all the hormones raging around.

zimbomaman - no-one can say they know how you feel but I am in a similar boat. My DF passed away on April 18th last year & he was my best friend, my rock, my everything. It kills me some days that he never got to even know that I got pregnant and would have made him a grandfather. He would have been over the moon. And my DM couldn't be less bothered really which adds salt to the wound. I feel for you - it's hard to feel so happy yet so sad at the same time x

On a brighter note, had my 12 week scan/NT scan today. Well, I'm 13+1 it turns out & have a kung fu/dancer/athlete of a baby who air punched, air-cycled & danced around so much the sonographer could hardly take measurements...& I was mesmerised...still am a bit. In other good news, I have no idea how, but I'm 'low risk' for Downs. How did I get this lucky? Must be pre-eclampsia or GD or something to come...it's all been like a mini-miracle & I feel so incredibly lucky! . tigger8 - I can relate to the shock/parallel universe thing. I'm not sure I'll believe it all until I've got home with the little thing & realise it's mine & staying with me! I feel like a fraud for concieving so easily when I should have been one of those needing help but no-one could be more grateful than me that I am in this position today (even though I can't believe it).

Midgetm - internet shopping is our friend AND it saves having to frantically look for a loo all the time whilst out (or is that just me?). Hope you feel better soon and the lurgy isnt' too bad.

Pram buying? - I'm obsessed with small pushchairs/prams for reasons I won't share as my views on very large pushchairs/prams may offend. Therefore I'm frantically searching for a secondhand Stokke Xplory at a not too scary price before I head back to Norway. Views/reviews on this particular model welcome if anyone has any experience.

Finding out the sex? - absolutely - was looking hard today. Think it MUST be a boy but will definitely find out at 20 wk scan. Just want to know is all :).

Zimbomaman, my dad passed away on 30 March 1996 and I still feel it... But somehow I know he is with me and am tryingto make him proud of me and of my child: getting my 3.5 yo son to pronounce and use a few words of Chinese now and then (my Chinese is crap anyway), telling him about my childhood and moments spent with my dad... Of course he does not fully understand but it is a seed I am planting that will grow one day. Don't be too sad. Or be sad, let the tears come out and share with your children, it is part of you.
Tigger8, welcome, it seems hat we are on the same schedule, and my bean is a girl too... I have to prevent myself from going out otherwise I would buy the Petit bateau or little white company entire shops...
Fjordmor, would it not be cheaper to buy the stokke in norway ? I don't know why but something is telling me it is a Norvegian company but I might be wrong. I have seen lots of second hand ones for sale on gumtree, preloved or MN for sales section. There are also a few threads on MN as well if you are interested in reading comments and experience. Try the bestbuggy.co.uk website, I find it quite good to compare or get complete specifications.
LRM, I always check people's buggy and my OH keeps saying stop staring, but I just can't help it !
Back to work, my DS is back from nursery....

Fjordmor the Stokke stuff looks lovely, I also really like the way that all their stuff converts but given the prices my guess is that i won't get any closer than admiring from my ipad.

I finally hit 14 weeks tomorrow, I seem to be getting a bit of energy back for which I am very grateful. Tailbone pain has eased off as well so I actually made it to the gym this lunchtime for some tentative exercise.

On the creche front, we've been bumped up to April. I'm going to have to decide what my maternity leave plans are going to be over the next couple of weeks. For those of us returning to work after this, what are your thoughts?

Hpbp - you're totally right about Stokke being a Norwegian company but Norway is one of the most expensive countries on earth. The city I'm living in is the world's 4th most expensive city. New Stokkes are about £400 more than new ones here & even the few on the secondhand market there are about £200-300 more than secondhand here...hence my looking to get one now & take it back, odd though it may seem. Thanks for the tips on where to look. I've found 2 on Gumtree tonight that I've emailed about. Where is the MN for sale board? I can't find it anywhere. In my 'local' page there's just one single thing for sale .

Velo - absolutely - that's why we're going for it secondhand - looking for a Tripp Trapp high chair eventually too which can be picked up quite cheap on the Norwegian secondhand market, as they're pretty ubiquitous there. I just look at it that it's a pram, carry cot, pushchair, out & about high chair & carry chair all in one and it's small, neat & easy to handle & get in & out of the car (I have a rubbish back). If I can get a 'lightly used' one for less than half the price new, I'll be killing lots of birds with one stone. Although having said that, you never know if you'll take to a carrier more than a pushchair or what baby will like but the good thing is that they have excellent resale value . By the way, talking of backs, glad to hear your tailbone pain's eased up. I had it too & now, at 13+1, it seems (touch wood) to be abating. Hoping to get a bit more active & loosen up now my energy's returning.

ValiumQueen - hope your little ones are doing ok. Thinking about you.

Evening ladies
I have to give my other half a medal. He is being lovely every day with me. Asks me what I would like to eat, where we should go, what we should do for the day. Makes me cups of tea and if I am knackered he does everything. I am very lucky he things I am a miracle for having a baby as it took 3 years to get me use to the idea ( terrified of child birth, still am ) . Dont get me wrong drives me nuts sometimes but that is me in hormone mental mode. He is in decorating mode and I F hate b&Q it is the most boring shop on the planet. I smile and help pick out colours, plus side I am not allowed to do any. He tells me off if I come within 2 paces of him with a hammer . He is a lovely person and I know he thinks the world of me. I know I am very lucky and he is going to be a brillant dad.

Valiumqueen - Hows your little ones today ?

Tigger 8 - 13 weeks this Thursday and no clue yet on team pink or team blue. scan on Thursday. Congrats on your little girl. Shopping for stuff will get more and more exciting. I work in Marks and Spencers as a manager and look after the kidswear department, I seem to look daily at the baby section and pick stuff I like. It is going to cost me a bloody fortune.
Glad everything does not taste like pennies today.

Midgetm - Hope u feel ok this evening ? Hope you dont get poorly. I had the best sleep last night I have had in weeks. The cycle of cough drink pee has stopped.

Fjprdmor - Glad you scan went well honey. Hey you got a free week !!! Oh and the loo is not just you. I plan already when I get into town where I can pee. Lucky for me my work is in the middle of town and I can dive in there. God help me on Thursday when I have the scan, Hoping I can hold it if they are delayed.

velo - Love the gym, got a bit too sweaty on Sunday and my old trainer spotted me and told me off for getting over warm. Hard to hold back when u feel ok and have been a gym bunny for years and years.

LRM - your OH sounds lovely! :) Mine's quite good but a bit clueless sometimes. Btw, since I booked my scan ad hoc, in person, last minute & didn't get a letter, I didn't know if I needed a full bladder or not. I rang this morning before I went and the receptionist said 'No, you can go to the bathroom.' Which didn't really answer my question, but I told the sonographer that my bladder wasn't empty but couldn't be full as I didn't need the loo. She did the scan anyway so I'm figuring you can get away with not being at full bladder bursting point. There was quite a wait for me (big London teaching hospital) so if I were you, I'd go without too much liquid on board & drink from a water bottle in the waiting room or start on the way...or something. I do relate to the pee-related anxiety .

FjordMor: you will find the MN sales board in Talk, all Topics, at the bottom you will find Wanted/For sale, and Pushchairs, there is one for sale at £390, they do go very fast at this price. Good luck

Will be back later for more XXX

Hi lady's sorry not posted for a while but life been kinda crap lately and didn't want to drag u lot down with me but don't think I can take much more definitely on breaking point I will give you a quick run down
Best friend from 9yrs of age has just been told she dying only 41 (nine days older than me) has breast and liver cancer doctors don't give much hope she has 2 little boys age 7 & 5 also made a mistake in work and could lose job over it being investigated but don't know what happening plus not told hubby about it either as dont need the stress off him about it , then finding it hard with trying to do everything and keep on top of things if I can't cope now how can I cope with doing it all and new baby . Hubby still not talking about me being pregnant its as if he blocked it out and no body else knows so it's as if I'm not and to top it all I'm terrified about scan next week as don't think I can handle anything else going wrong in my life . Sorry to burden you all but just needed to get it all out as you can see I'm not sleeping either x

11wks dc4 41

tenner that all sounds like an absolute nightmare. I am not surprised you are finding life tough. Anyone would in similar circumstances. Can you get some rest/sleep over the Easter weekend? Once you have caught up on that spend as much time with your friend as poss. Don't think about your scan until you have it. Chances are greater for all to be ok than not with that. As for your job, I bet you have not made as serious mistake as you think. Is there a colleague who can support you? Or a union rep? If you are not feeling rested soon get some time off work via a GP note. Your baby is more important than work stress. You will find a way through all this. Send hubby to us and we will give him a good shaking.

Huge hugs. Keep posting.

Ff xx

Oh tenner so sorry about your friend and the stress you are under (((hug))) I think a GP note would be most appropriate. Have you been suspended? Surely if the work error is that serious you would be off by now? Make sure you speak to a union or solicitor for advice.

I think you should tell DH - you are in a partnership and he should be sharing the stress in my opinion.

M babies are much better now, thank you. They both slept 7 hours straight last night.

And tell the world about your pregnancy - you need the support and understanding of those you know, regardless of outcome. Tell your friend too - a bit of positivity may be just what she needs - nothing like a new life to put a smile on anybodies face x

tennerlady replied on the other thread but sending a huge hug and echo all that's been said above x

tenner sending you lots of hugs. What a crap time you're having:(. As the others have said, share your thoughts and worries with your OH and show your friend just how much she means to you. Your mistake at work, no doubt an honest one, will be investigated and sorted out - you're never alone - colleagues, representatives etc are all human too.

Thanks to everyone else who showed compassion and empathy during the last few days. Dad was great right to the end and I would love to share this new baby news with him.

First appointment tomorrow so may get to see Little Raspberry:).

My my, I've missed a lot of chatting - I've caught up with all your posts and am sending an encouraging wave to everyone today.
tennerlady - sorry you are having such a hard time. the news about your friend must be truly devastating. Does your work know you are pg yet? I checked out my work's policy and they have to give special consideration about things like work related stress - just a thought. It's not asking for special treatment, it might be what you are entitled to! Getting signed off by GP for stress is also a very good plan - its important that you take good care of yourself. Hope you can tell DH - with pg hormones it is so hard to cope with things at the best of times and every problem seems overwhelming, but we all need extra support right now, maybe it will help make it all seem more real to him?
AFM, I had a biggish bleed last week, but the baby was wriggly, beautiful and fine on the scan at 9 weeks - sooo amazing and heart-lifting to see I'm a bit worried because I used to eat so healthily, now I just want carbs, carbs, carbs.
xxx

Hpbp - thanks for all the tip offs! Am going to see one tomorrow so fingers crossed x

Tennerlady - I also replied to you on the 'due in October' thread but agree with what most are saying here & bytheseaside - take care of that stress as your first priority or you'll be no good to anyone. Big hugs x

Tennerlady
Sending you big hugs. You are having a very stressful time and need to talk to your GP and give yourself sometime at home. Work wise I understand being investigated for something. I had the same done to me last year. I took some time and wrote down everything that happened times and dates. It helped me focus. Nothing came of it in the end as they got it all wrong bastards putting me through so much stress and I was not even pregnant. When I confronted them with my evidence they did not have a leg to stand on, I raised a greivance and they shit themselves. Does work know you are pregnant ? I have a member of my team who has terminal cancer and has been taken to hospital last Friday and is in a coma from a seizure. Her hubby is with her and has been told she only has a week to live. I feel for them both and she is only 38 . She has been so poorly since Christmas . So extra big hugs for you about your friend .
Try and talk to hubby if you can, sharing may help. It must be very overwhelming for you honey. Try and rest but I know it cant be easy especially as you are not sleeping. Talk to a friend meet them away from work or home go for a bite to eat.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx