Due in October 2012 Part 2

[YompingJo]

Kicking off the second thread as we outgrew the first one.

Thanks for all the lovely reassuring comments, you are a lovely lovely lot
twolittlemonkeys I had some bleeding a couple of weeks ago and I mentioned it to my midwife. She said you can sometimes bleed when you would have had your period as some womens bodies don't quite get out of the habit.

hello all, not sure if any of you remember me or not, I've posted a few times but not too many as I've been to cautious to join in the first 12 weeks. I found out yesterday that I've had a 2nd missed miscarriage, I'm devasted and can't believe this has happened to me again. I was 9+3 and found out baby had died just after 6 weeks (even though I'd had an earlier scan that showed the heartbeat) I just hope one day that I am lucky enough to have a baby its been such a hard journey taking a long time to conceive both times and then when it finally happens something always goes wrong. Has anyone else out there had 2 miscarriages and then go on to have a healthy baby? I am starting to think it will never happen for me :( Anyway good luck to the rest of you ladies, I wish you happy healthy pregnancies xx

Oh mrsclairemarie. I'm so sorry.

mrsclairemarie so sorry to hear this news. I too am always scared to join threads to soon so I know exactly what you mean. I have had a lot of miscarriages but inbetween the losses there has been one success so hang in there. Once you have 3 losses you are classed as having recurrent miscarriages (honest - up to 3 is considered 'normal' - I know it doesn't feel normal but the stats are on your side). Statistically you still have really good odds of a successful pregnancy next time round. Most investigations before 3 show no reason for them. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with them but it does offer some light at the end of the tunnel. If you do have 3 go straight to your GP and get refferred to a specialist clinic for investigations. Sometimes it is something so simple that fixes the problem. Fo rme I am putting my faith in 150mg of asprin a day. Nothing can make you feel better now apart from allowing yourself to grieve and howl a bit and get love and support from your nearest and dearest.Hope is what keeps me going so dig deep and find your inner hope once you feel able to. Huge hugs. I hate hearing other women going through this pain. There is a lovely thread on here - will post the link for you later with lots of women who have m/c. Some even more than me (I have never found these before) - it is a lovely safe place to chat with people who know how you feel. On a teleconference now so will do it later - just wanted to respond to you as soon as I can.

Oh mrsclairemarie I'm so sorry. Thinking of you at this awful time.

Thanks zoeplankton & thankyou for your kind works midgetm xx I would really appreciate the link that you are going to post for me later. At the moment the hard part is that I actually haven't miscarried yet so I'm waiting for it to happen (the first time it didn't happen on its on so I had to have a medical management miscarrigage) I've got to wait at home for a week and see what happens if nothing will be booked in for another medical management miscarriage or surgery. I know its stupid but I don't like the the idea of surgery as I'm scared of being put to sleep. I'm hoping nature will just take its course this time and I can miscarry at home. xx

Thanks bubblebell1 xx

So sorry mrsclairemarie :(

mrsclairemarie

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1401274-Just-MC-and-ready-to-try-again-Pregnant-after-MC-and-seeking-somewhere-safe-to-hide-Come-on-down-to-the-shiny-new-baby-friendly-MOSH-PIT

I was so happy to find this thread - it was like my spiritual home! I like to come on here when i am positive but I do't want to scare people on here so I go here to let rip. It is lovely.

I have had to do the same as you and it doesn't suit me - I now always request the procedure ASAP (although I am not suggesting this is the best way, it is not without it's hiccups - if you can wait then that is the best way - I just find waiting too emotionally draining).

Huge hugs and I will look out for you on the other thread. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat privately x

Thinking of you mrsclairemarie - I had a MMC last year and then medical management and while the staff at the hospital were amazing the process was very distressing. I hope you can lean on DP and friends and family in RL as it is such a difficult time, and it is very cruel you have to endure this. One of my best friends had two MMC, and is now the mum of two gorgeous, gorgeous boys who run her ragged day and night! I hope you are in her shoes soon xx

Thankyou for all your kind words & support it really does help. midgetm I will definitely take a look at that other thread later. I totally agree about feeling emotionally drained the idea of waiting and knowing probably nothing will happen anyway is really hard xx Beans1977 thanks for for letting me know you had a friend who had 2 MMC then went on to have success, it gives me some hope. I am luckly that I have a DH and my Mum, Dad & sisters for support through this.

I want to say thank you to you, mrsmarieclaire - if I have a MMC, I'll know what to expect because you were brave enough to come on here and tell us, and because of that I've been able to read beans and migetm's good advice (thank you you two, as well).

I know it's no consolation but just by speaking up you make a big difference to women who are new to this, like me. So thank you.

SO sorry to hear that mrsclairemarie. I can only echo what Zoeplankton said to you and add in that my MIL has 3 super healthy, lovely boys but also had 4 or 5 miscarriages. Don't feel defeated. There's still loads of time! It WILL happen for you! (Btw I'm sure you can get D&C's under local now. You should ask. There's often the option.) Thinking of you. Take care & don't hesitate to lean heavily on those who are there for you xx

Welcome StephCoombs

twolittlemonkeys - thanks for the porridge tip! Fingers crossed that things went as you wanted them to this morning with the GP. Glad the spotting has eased.

squidkid - feeling for you! I used to work in the NHS and have seen lots of consultants etc. being very supportive & protective of pregnant colleagues on their firms - even some of the more anal ones. I dunno. If it was me I would do as your colleague suggested & tell the other doctors. It must be super-tough having to deal with those kinds of cases whilst still 1st trimester. I'm sure things would be at least 50% easier with their support on board. Just my tuppence worth of unsolicited advice . What you're still doing, through all these hormonal 1st trimester symptoms, is amazing!! . Don't be so hard on yourself.

Bubblebell - thanks for that. I'm also having strange & bizarre dreams. They seem to often feature my dad (who died last year) as a happy & slightly crazy little child (which is not unpleasant but weird ).

turnwest - I often get one sided pains (have had them both sides) but they seem to be pockets of air or wind as they seem to pass after another meal or bowel movement. Try not to worry unless it persists over a few days.

Wishing everyone a good day without too much sickness or worries :)

Zoeplankton - saved a whole comment to respond to your post as you hit the nail right on the head! I was unlucky enough to have a partner with NPD - who admitted later into the relationship that he had received some kind of diagnosis of that (until then I was just going crazy, being criticised & losing my self esteem). I did a LOT of reading about it and realised this was also my mum and my lifelong best friend who had weirdly 'dumped' me around age 33 & is now moving from country to country re-inventing herself all the time (they say we sub-consciously are attracted to what we 'recognise' - sadly). I think knowing this was my Mum's problem helped me stop feeling so rubbish about myself/our relationship but I have had to come to terms with the fact that I can never 'expect' normal motherly love from her.

It does do your head in and just because you can 'name' it & look at the behaviour more objectively doesn't make it any easier to live with. It's a relentless sad (but resigned) road for me but I guess it has made me all the more conscious of what kind of mother I want to (and need to) be. Thanks for the offer of & sympathy & you are likewise welcome for for the same any time. Like you say, it's the kind of thing others can't get their head around until they've lived with it & found out about it out of sheer head-done-inness :) (also feel free to bring the to private message if we're taking things too off topic). xx

Oh man fjordmor I am so sorry I was right!

Agree, agree, agree.

Like you, I'm an expatriate (Aussie in UK) so I don't have to deal with MIL regularly (note: it was DH who moved halfway across the planet, I just followed), but... well, yeah. I think you can probably guess most of what I'm going to say! (Fortunately DH is basically the opposite of his Mum, in case you were wondering :) )

OK, I will definitely write you the next time she causes me and/or DH trouble, and you can always ping me too. Man NPD people are NOT EASY, are they? And you're right, even when you know the score it doesn't stop them doing your damn head in.

It's like DH always says - MIL is always carrying a bag. Is it a bag of gold, is it a bag of snakes? Who knows? All you know is you're not going to be able to get out the door and away without sticking your hand in... again...

Big hug!

hello all! Been lurking for a while as been feeling so sick and tired and dizzy. Like you, squidkid i feel like i have lost myself somewhere! I hate not having the energy and passion for work, keeping on top of my jobs and entertaining my gorgeous little boy. But i am so comforted by reading that so many of us are going through this together. And I feel humbled by what so many of you are going through. So sorry to hear your news mrsc-m. I cant imagine what you must be going through. Brilliant words of advice from midgetm. twolittlemonkeys got everything crossed for you today. Let us know the craic when you do. missbone please come back soon- your posts cheer me up and distract me from wanting to hurl!

I have to go on a school trip tonight to watch a play. Sob. Not sure i will be able to manage sitting still for that long without running to the loo. Hope I get an aisle seat!

Big hugs to you all :-)

ps, brownbear my duedate buddy! In answer to your question, my symptoms are sore boobs, tiredness all day and waves of nausea. Totally different to last pregnancy, don't know why! How are you doing? X

Mrsclairemarie. So sorry for your loss. Its so so hard. I'm in my 4th pregnancy after 3 MCs, 1 of which was missed (died at 9 weeks not known until 12wk scan).

When i got pregnant this time I went straight to a private clinic as didn't have a huge amount of faith in the NHS. They aren't able to do all the tests/treatments that are availbale at some private clinics. The private clinic diagnosed me with a high killer cell count so I'm having treatment for that, plus blood thiners and progesteorne supplements. So far so good as had a successful 10 wk scan today.

I stongly believe you can get there, you just need to be diagnosed and looked after properly. And as everyone else says multiple MCs are all too common but success can happen.

mrsclairemarie, my SIL had 2 miscarriages then went on this February to have a healthy baby boy :)

I pray the same happens for you x

Thanks again for all the words of support, today has been a hard day but all your lovely comments have made me feel a bit of hope for the future after reading some of the experiences you and your families/friends have had and your advice. The kind words have brought tears to my eyes thankyou for all being such lovely ladies xx I wish you all luck with your preganancies and extra big hugs and luck to all those who have been through such tough journeys to get here.

Stuck on the m6 and running out of snacks. I may call 999 and report it as an emergency.

Coss posted. Glad we could help MrsCM. I think the most important thing is knowing you are not alone. And you aren't. Hope to see you posting better news soon x

mrsclairemarie so sorry to hear your sad news. Sending lots of positive thoughts and un-MNetty hugs your way.

Thanks all for the support. Managed to see the nurse practitioner - actually 2 of them for some reason - both were lovely, did their best to persuade both the hospitals in the city to give me a scan asap. The best they could manage was next Thursday. The private clinic is booked up, and anyway I would seriously resent paying to be told there's nothing there anymore so will have to wait in limbo a week. I've had a bit more red bleeding and cramps this evening, sort of like you get at the end of a period iykwim? My last MC took a few days for the pain to get bad and the bleeding then increased dramatically. Crossing my fingers that I won't get to that stage - until about 4pm I felt quite optimistic as had had no more spotting since last night, then got more and it was redder than before :(

Have to plaster on my happy face tomorrow for DS1's birthday (and work unless the pain suddenly worsens), even though I feel like hibernating. Will have an early night tonight. Will update if there are any developments but won't have time to post tomorrow. Night ladies

Hello all!
tlm thinking of you and hoping tomorrow goes ok
squidkid it's totally understandable that you're finding work difficult. Hope that things get better now one of your colleagues knows
mrsclairemarie so sorry to hear your news, and for being brave enough to share with us. Take care x
missbone we miss you. I hope you're ok

I've had an alright day. Feeling so tired and desperately hoping that I can sleep late tomorrow. As I suspected the reassurance from my scan yesterday lasted precisely 24 hours. I've been having cramps all day which are worrying me.
Anyway...can barely keep my eyes open, so off to bed.
Night all x

Twolittlemonkeys sorry things seem to be getting worse. An even sorrier that you have to wait till Thursday for a scan. I suddenly realise how good our EPU service is here when I hear about the shoddy treatment some of you ladies are getting. Of course nobody can tell you how things will turn out, only time will tell. Bloody annoying though. Really feel for you having to paint on the happy face. Been there got the t-shirt and it is very hard. Take it as easy as you can and I have everything crossed for you.