September 2012 anyone?

[ViolaCrayola]

Is there anyone around who has just found out that they are pregnant and are due in Sept?
I know it's very early days but I thought maybe I could get the ball rolling...
I'm due around Sept 4th I think, with DC2, feeling very happy if a bit nervous :)

spuddy calm down, rest and don't get mad, it's not good for your heart. Deep breathes!

lurkingmurking I'm gonna have a private scan done next weekend for peace of mind too... No news from GP / MW re any appointments nor scan, and I dont want to want to wait till after my holiday in case it's ectopic. (Although I don't have any sharp pain or bleeding, I'm just paranoid about the possibility of ectopic pregnancies. I'm crazy and paranoid I know ). And I hope to see heart beats too

sorry to hear about the scares that some of you have had/still having. I remember from when i had DS, there were so many losses on that thread. I am just focusing on getting to the 12 week point. (6+5 today so past the half way point) Had a pain start last night, sort of low down on my left hand side, not stretching pains, and got me rather worried. Was there overnight and still felt it this morning so i went to the doctors. Turns out i've got cystitis and so he's given me anti biotics for a week. He can't be sure that's caused the pain, but its possible, and he said its common for women to get it during pregnancy. So if anyone else gets a pain that seems to be in the same place rather than in different areas, that is more constant than the stretching pains which come and go, then it might be worth checking it out with the doctor. He said if it is left untreated it can lead to miscarriage or premature labour, so i am very relieved i didn't dismiss it and i went to get it checked out!

spuddy try not to be too hard on your DH. If i remember correct, he has just flown back from America at the drop of a hat to be with you? clearly he does love you, but i imagine he probably didn't get much sleep worrying about you and bump, and with the time difference between here and America, he is probably exhausted and maybe not with it enough to pick up on what you want from him? My DP is usually almost comatose when he lands back from work trips to America and isn't himself until the following day.

no he was booked on that flight all along. I heard him awake upstairs so came up to be with him. He was in bed looking at his sex book with an erection - so clearly turning himself on. He said he's woken up frisky, so i said why not come back to bed with me and he said no 'he had work to do' which is bollox.

He is now in his office ignoring me and hasn't asked how i am feeling or if i need or want anything. I think i hate him.

I am seriously thinking about ending it. i'm not sure how much more i can take. i am now in the bedroom crying.

does he know you are crying/how you are feeling?

how were things with you both pre-trip to America/pre stroke?

How have you been together/married/how long were you trying for a DC? is it your first? was he wanting a DC as much as you? does he usually look at his "sex book" /and when you are in the house? have you ever told him you don't like this, or do you usually not mind or like it normally?

he knows i'm upset and just muttered 'bizarre'. He has now gone out for a run. So work was so pressing he couldn't spend time with me but not so pressing that he can't go out for a run.

We have been together 2 and a half years and decided on ttc cos my clock was ticking. He also does want dc very very much. This particular sex book (he has many) has just arrived so he obviously is eager to look at it.

He has particular fetishes which they satisfy and sadly i have always known his desire for his fetish is greater than any desire for me. I have also said i have no problem with his fetish for what it is i just don't like being excluded and him having a separate sex life to me. It is something we can do together - which we do.

The trouble is he talks a good game. So sends me loads of emails when he's working away about how much he loves me, wants me, will come back and look after me, but then when he's here he's often just an arse.

Before he went for a run he said 'you okay' as i was clearly crying, i said fine (because talking to him when he's like this is pointless) so he said he was going for a run and walked out. Didn't ask if i needed anything. he hasn't even offered to make me a cup of tea.

my mum is sure all his stress is making me ill.

work have sent me some lovely flowers. i am so upset that people who have only known me for 10 days are nicer to me than 'D' P.

It's good that people at work are thinking of you spuddy were you enjoying there before you became poorly?

the job isn't great - call centre, low paid etc but the people are very nice.

Can I join?

Bfp yesterday after a very drunk shag on Christmas eve on Cd6

I think i'm due on the 19/9/12 and this will be dc3.

[waves]

Welcome Methe sounds like a surprise for you?

Spuddy sorry your dp is being an arse. He's the one that sounds bizarre I'm really hoping he redeems himself tonight. How are you feeling in yourself today?

Just a bit! Dh has has the hump a bit :(

methe lol ours was a bit of a drunken on on Christmas Eve too - I'm sure your DH will come round

Spuddy I'd be raging at that behaviour. It might be worth doing another thread in Relationshops to get some advice - though of course still keep posting to us here. I think you need to make it plain to him just how ill you were.

macaroons oh I am so paranoid too. 3 of my NCT girls from DS have had MC before their 2nd (first one due next week) so I am terrified. I had an early scan with DS because I was so unsure of my dates and I will never forget when they had to do an internal scan instead because she couldn't see anything with the usual ultrasound - I have never been so scared but obvs it was all ok!

i've had it out with him and he thinks i have been unreasonable. He always has been astonishingly selfish. He says he's doing his best (which is basically what he says whenever i pull him on anything. He thinks in some PC world gone mad way you can't tell someone their best is woefully lacking as it's their best - like telling a disabled child he's shit at running or something. But he doesn't understand that his 'best' is half arsed, ill thought thru crap with very little effort).

He even asked me to make HIM some dinner because he is tired.

Aww Methe hopefully he'll come round once the shock wears off. How are you feeling about it?

Is anyone else finding themselves utterly wiped out at this time of day? I don't remember being this tired with dd 1 or 2.

Scared but happy. My first 2 were prem so this pg will be very medicalised from the off. I've been researching consultants today.

I have always wanted another baby so I can't be sad about it but it is oh so slightly terrifying. Dh will be fine when I get a decent plan in place and begin the million scans & stitches etc.

spuddy i'm sorry re your DP (and sorry i referred to him as DH which i see now he isn't). (and maybe he should just be P for now?!) I don't think you are being unreasonable. There could be a possible case that in his male mind he thinks if the hospital saw fit to send you home, that you are able to make your own bacon sandwich and cup of tea, but now that he is there, a gesture of him asking if there is ANYTHING you want isn't too much to expect, not after being together that long, and not now that you are growing his baby inside you.

And re being selfish, how the hell is he going to cope when the baby comes? has he any idea how time-consuming they are, how you cannot be selfish any more, how tiredness takes on a whole new meaning?!! I am not saying that you should end it like you contemplated earlier, but i do think it would do you both good to have another chat sooner rather than later about your relationship and how it will cope. Otherwise the next 8 months could be hard for you both, never mind beyond. What if you end up having a CS? He will have to be prepared to look after you and be hands on with the baby. He wouldn't have time to wank off at some unrealistic tart and he wouldn't have time to go for a run then. (possibly different as it sounds like you aren't quite as bothered, but my DP used to watch porn, but we talked when he moved in with me and he soon realised how much it upset me that i wasn't enough for him, which is how i felt as i am nothing like those women, and the fact that he would sit up late at night online rather than come to bed with me, but he realised the damage it was doing and he stopped looking. i am not sure what state i would have been in if he had been doing it whilst i was heavily pregnant and hormonal!)

I am pleased that you got some flowers from your work, you may think it's not a great career, but it is the people that you work with that count more. From another thread on here, i know someone with a proper career, earning heaps of money, but working with utter arses and every minute of her working day is hell on earth!

I feel so very sick now. Just 6 weeks. I'm convinced it's a boy as I felt hideous with my two sons and not at all bad with my dd.

Does that necessarily follow? Dunno but I feel dreadful. Especially when tired.

I'm still 'in' but mainly ignoring it, not many symptoms but I'm only 5 weeks and change. I'm wondering what to do about early scans and midwives and doctors and it's doing my head in so I think I'll just end up ignoring it some more.

Just checking in to say hi to spuddy, and sympathise re "P" behaviour - Loopy has given v good advice so won't try and match it, I do also think though that some of the crankiness is hormonal.... I am hoping it is just because I seem to be so much more sensitve to the way "D"H behaves at the moment.... Anywya, I hope you sort things out and that you are feeling ok - do you know what caused the stroke? That sounds scary..

Hi to "methe" congratulations, hope DH comes round soon.

winky i'd always heard DD make you more sick than DS but others, like you, seem to disprove that theory....! I don't feel too sick so thought it might be a boy...... will be interesting for us all to see!

Good weekends all x

Congratulations methe sure OH will come round. Just remind him of his potency, even while drunk, he might be secretly proud!

spuddy hope you are feeling better too.

winky I have heard that as due to hormones being different slightly with a boy or something. I do tend to take the old wives tales with a pinch of salt, but some of them do have.some scientific facts behind!

I am so wiped out. In fact I'm in bed, wooo. It's a friends birthday eve tomorrow night in london so feel like I'm bracing for that!

Cheers loopy. It is not porn (i wouldn't tolerate that at all and he doesn't like it) as i said it's his fetish stuff. So er no tarts at all iyswim.

Oh Spuddy.

I too am sorry to have referred to him as DH earlier. Hope P is being a bit nicer to you now.
I agree with Loopy's advice. Was reading through, getting ready to get on my soap box of outrage, when I saw I was beaten to it, lol.

Is there any chance you could spend some time with your parents at some point? The rest might do you good, and you could be supportive re: your grandfather.
I also think your mum may have a point about him not helping re your condition. I think it's probably unfair to say P's caused it, if he wasn't there, unless it was worry about him being away that started the issue.
Talk with him about it, be as rational as you can, and give clear bullet points so he can't get confused. Then he can't accuse you of being unreasonable.
At the end of the day, you and the baby come first, and so all parties need to be working towards this.

Hang in there, things will work out for the best.

Thanks all. He is being okay today but still last night laid next to me reading his s&x book while i just laid there. I feel like such an old couple, he is away for a week but would rather read about his fetish than actually 'be' with the real woman he loves.

Also he still keeps asking me to make him coffees and food. I got cross this morning and asked him why he thought it was okay to expect an ill pregnant woman, who has just had a stroke to make him something. He said he was just chancing his arm to see what he could get away with. I said that's not fair as altho he knew it was wrong if i'd have reluctantly got up and made it he wouldn't have stopped me, and i shouldn't have to get cross and raise my voice when i already feel faint for him just to drag his arse out of 14 hours in bed to get me some juice!

I can't stay with family, i only have my parents (who aren't sympathetic people either and just get angry that i'm making them worry) and they live a couple of hours away and i couldn't get there and back.

I honestly don't think he gets it at all and it's my fault for letting him be this way. Now suddenly i am asking him to do stuff and he doesn't get it.

Hi all

spuddy I'm also sorry that your partner is being a knob. Rusulka and Loopy have both summed it up for me. As hard as it is, I would be trying very hard to stay calm right now and focus on the important things, don't get too hung up with his bullshit. He may well be having a quiet panic and not knowing what to do about it, try and explain to him calmly exactly what you need from him over the next few days. Maybe when he attends the hospital with you on Monday he might get a clue?
Also, maybe I'm overcautious, but until you get some further advice/investigations I would be avoiding anything stressful, strenuous or that's likely to raise your blood pressure (including bedroom activity!)

I had another little visit to my friendly women's emergency room After a couple of days of the BDOD getting less, I had an evening of bright red bleeding which was heavier than it had been so, of course, I freaked out!

They said no point doing another scan so soon but that, on examination, cervix is normal and tightly closed. I asked about bloods but they said it wouldn't be helpful

Bleeding went back to brown after a few hours and now again almost back to nothing so I'm spending the weekend moving only between the bed, sofa and toilet and hoping for the best.

Hope everyone else is managing a relaxing and stress free weekend, with maybe just a little nausea and tender-boobage thrown in for good measure? :)