For mums 2 be after M/C ... PART 5!

[hewlettsdaughter]

Hi there. I was just wondering how everyone is - Ghosty, Hilary, Bogwoppit and anybody else who is pregnant after a previous miscarriage. There seems to have been a lot of sad news re pregnancies on mumsnet recently. On the one hand, I feel like I don't want to parade being pregnant in front of those who have had an m/c - on the other hand, we need to show that there are some positive stories out there!
I am 16 weeks tomorrow. Feeling ok, over the nausea I felt from about week 7 to week 12 or 13.

Bunny, I just want to echo what jellycat has said. It's not surprising you feel like this. I felt something similar after my early m/cs. I was wary of writing on the relevant "Anyone due in.." thread as I couldn't see that far ahead in the beginning. Taking one day at a time seems to be the best advice - and keep talking if it helps.

Thanks Hd and Jellycat. It is horrible, Jellycat I am sorry you are going through similiar. I want to get pst this first trimester though I doubt I'll ever relax properly. HD, how are you?

Hang on in there - both of you. It WILL get easier. Bunny, I'm ok, thanks for asking. Not long to go now...

Hello bunny, sorry I haven't been on much lately. I have booked a scan so at least should find out soon whether or not things are going OK so far. I feel a bit better since I booked it. I've got a week and a half to wait now, instead of however many it would be to wait till the nuchal fold scan.

Jellycat, good to hear from you. I am beginning to get worried (more worried). I have no symptoms. In my last pregnancies I was definately getting nauseous by now but I am not. I just dont feel pregnant. My scan's Wednesday 1.55. Iswnt this all so horrible?

Oh bunny, I don't know what to say. Lots of people have told me they experienced different symptoms in their different pregnancies. I certainly feel different this time (and that's really worrying me so I know why you are). Not much else I can think of to say, except to send sympathy. jellycat xxx

Thankyou. I just called the EPU to see if they could give me some reassurance but it is closed now till tomorrow.

Bunny2 I did not get excited about being prg until 15 weeks. This was when I finally felt able to relax after alot of mc's before12wks and an ectopic. Try not to worry I think it is a natural reaction not to get attached and not getting attached did not and has not affectd my relationship with dd I think it was self preservation for me which is important too.

Thanks Gothicmama. Did you find a cause for your miscarriages or do anything different to the one you managed to hold on to?

I stopped drinking tea and coffee, also changed my vitamin tablets to some without vitA (santagen ones for before during and after pregnancy)also took it very easy lots of feet up time.

I've sut out coffee too but still have a couple of cups of tea a day. I am managing to get some rest every day too thanks to Cbeebies and Nickjnr. Also the vitamins I take are prenatal ones and dont have vit A in. If it worked for you, maybe it'll work for me too. Were there lots of tears in the first trimester? I get very upset, because my mcs were missed miscarriages I had no idea until scans weeks later, I just wish my body would give me some signals either that I am miscarrying or that I'm pregnant (I usually get v bad sickness but this time nothing). I can bearly hold on till Wednesday when I have my next scan. Did you have extra scans?

Yes I think mine (scans) were everytime they thought they could safely scan, i.e 6wks, 8wks, 10wks, and then the 16week one First scan was to check it was not another ectopic and then to make sure everything was ok. My mc's have been put down to my ovaries producing excess hormones and rejecting the prg but I'm not sure. Also lots of tears, I kept breaking down. Big hugs and thinking of you.

thanks again . You give me hope which I so desperately need right now. I think I am feeling down becuase my last miscarriage was due this month.

one more question ... did you miscarry eary or late in the first trimester?

Both, not much help to you sorry, the hardest one was at 12weeks but some must have been at about 5 weeks and like you only found out afterwards. Yes that is a hard time. Try and keep positive . You can always use the CAT function if you want to talk privately. Glad I can support you . Big Hugs

Hi Bunny, Jelly etc, sorry I have only just caught up here.
Bunny, I just wanted to say I still feel anxious, even last night I was having a listen with my doppler. I still cannot beleive all is ok and convince myself sometimes that I'm destined to still lose it. It took me a very long time to accept that there was a fighting chance this time. I think the worst thing was the number of scans I'd had looking at a dead baby and I just couldn;t imagine ever there being as live one and going and seeing it move etc.. I do think about my lost babies alot and do protect myself to a certain degree by trying not to get to attched. Think it;s an automatic mechanism isn;t it after so many disappointments. You have had 2(I think) successful scans and your chances of all ebing well are so very very high. I think Lesley says 95-99% after a successful heartbeat found at 8 weeks. It's really the toughest bit getting past the stages where you lost your babies. I know just what you mean about the missed m/c's. You know I carried mine around for 8 weeks and then they insisted I go home for another 3 weeks to let things happen and they never did. I will never forge that, but I really do want to give this new pregnancy it;s best shot. Each of them deserve all the strength you can muster and I know it;s so tough. It won;t be too long now and you;ll feel movements and that gets me through each day now.
Hope I haven't gone on too much! Good luck with your scan Wed, I'll be thinkingof you. You too Jellycat! Pls let us know how you get on. BTW Bunny, re symptoms, how many weeks are you now? I had very few if any and if I hadn;t seen the baby alive on the scan I would never have believed I was pg. Hang in there. xxxx

Hi Quacks, great to have you back! I am 7.4 and just dont feel pregnant. I havent felt at all sick. Did you rent a doppler? I want to do that too. Is it govong you some reassurance? I hope so. It just isnt fair that pregnancy is laced with dread and fear for us is it? You are doing brilliantly now though, you must be @ 25 weeks. hugs Bunny

Gothicmama, thank you so much for the support. It is helping me alot.

Bunny, good luck for your scan tomorrow. I have one next Tuesday.

Gothicmama, thanks for posting about your experiences.

Quackers, your posts are always so helpful and positive! I always feel cheered when I read them.

I am feeling tired but still very little else in the way of symptoms. Just looking ahead to my scan next week. I'll be well over 8 weeks by then so should get an unambiguous result.

Good luck for your scans, all! Thinking of you.

Hiya, been out all weekend and only just got chance to catch up! It feels as though the first few weeks go SO slowly and then I hit 12 weeks and it has flown by (so far)! Bunny, I honestly had very little in the way of symptoms and I didn;t with my DD. It's funny because the 2 I lost I had loads of symptoms and then they suddenly disappeared and I knew something was wrong, even with the missed one. I asked Doc's to send me for a scan but they wouldn't, so that's why I was 15 weeks when I found out it had died. I had bigger nipples, the odd twinge from them and maybe needing the toilet more around 7-8 weeksish. That was about it along with a funny sense of smell. I bought my doppler, didn;t hire one. I got it from EBAY for £100 plus VAT brand new with a 3 yr guarantee, so know I can sell it on after. I only strated using it at 12/13 weeks, after my Doc had already heard it. I have never not heard it as you do become quite an expert at knowing where your own baby is lying and find it very easily. You just have to be weary of what you would do if you couldn;t find it. I would have just rung the Doc and asked her to listen, so a back up was there. It's from Ultrasound Technologies (PD1 version). HTH and good luck for tommorow, I'll be thinking of you!!!! xxxxx
Jelly, how you doing now?? Glad i could help, your post really touched me, thankyou! Glad you have a scan - when is it? At 8 weeks, you should get a good clear view of your little one!! Hope all goes well, let us know when it is!
HD!!!! You still around!!!! Due date must be looming now, I'm looking out for your announcement!!!!!

Thanks Quacks, HD and Jellycat. I am dreading tomorrow. I still have no symptoms apart from tiredness and I have convinced myself tomorrow will bring bad news. I remember you going through this Quacks. I feel really weepy, dh has cancelled his business appointments for Thursday and Friday so he is also presuming the worse. Even if the scan is ok, I can only dread the next one, in fact until this baby is born I will not be able to relax. God, I sound like Victor Meldrew.

Quacks, did you have few symptoms with dd, more with the miscarriages and then none with this pregnancy? That is the same pattern as me.

Thinking of you for tomorrow,

bunny2 - also thinking of you tomorrow.

meant to say Bunny2 but I can think about everyone else too, I am also thinking about being brave and giving trying another go -