For mums 2 be after M/C ... PART 5!

[hewlettsdaughter]

Hi there. I was just wondering how everyone is - Ghosty, Hilary, Bogwoppit and anybody else who is pregnant after a previous miscarriage. There seems to have been a lot of sad news re pregnancies on mumsnet recently. On the one hand, I feel like I don't want to parade being pregnant in front of those who have had an m/c - on the other hand, we need to show that there are some positive stories out there!
I am 16 weeks tomorrow. Feeling ok, over the nausea I felt from about week 7 to week 12 or 13.

Your baby is probably in choccy heaven and doing some football scoring for you, but you just can't quite feel it yet! Remember it depends if they are facing with legs kicking your tummy too! Still good excuse to eat choccy, use it every time!

More bleeding , on Friday and Saturday. The midwife found a hb on Saturday so I am reassured but it is still so sodding scarey to find blood. There is a bit more tonight too but the hospital is going to scan me in the next few days to try and locate the source of bleeding.

Hi, I've just found this group and wondered if I could ask a question. I had a missed miscarriage and a D&C (or ERPC as they called it) on Friday. I have one DS who is almost 2 and this is my first miscarriage. We want to start trying again as soon as possible, which should be in 6-8 weeks according to the docs.

I was just curious how long it took you guys to get pregnant again after a loss. I'm wondering if the D&C will affect my fertility in a negative way. I've read both good and bad things about TTC after a miscarriage but wondered what kind of experience other women have had.

Hope I'm not intruding and best of luck to you all.

Tex111, You are not intruding at all! I look forward to including you in our thread. Does this mean that you are recovering well? I hope that your trip to Spain is excellent and that you don't need the painkillers or the anti-biotics.
I am not a great one to answer your questions as I seem to take ages to regain fertility after all of my pregnancies but I know that many people will report back that they were expecting right away following an ERPC (d&C).

Best of luck. Your positive outlook is an inspiration!

Hi Tex - you sound well, hope that it was ok and you're getting lots of rest before your holiday.

I had a D&C last June and was pregnant again by the end of September. Sadly I m/c at 8 weeks, and it took about 5 months - this includes the time my cycles needed to get back on track (about 6 or 7 weeks) I also had a m/c a few years ago and that was about 5 months too.

With our loss last summer we started trying right away, but with the 2 m/c we waited longer - the first one we waited the 3 months that the GP had advised, and last autumn we just couldn't try right away - it was too hard. It's said that women are more fertile after a D&C.....hopefully that will be the case for you, I know the feeling of wanting to pregnant again RIGHT NOW - we all do here, and I wish you the best of luck.

Bunny - how is the bleeing? Has it stopped now?

Gingernut - what a long and drawn out thing with the antibodies and testing - do you know yet it you're past the 'danger' point? I was convinced that DD had German measles on the weekend and that I didn't have the antibodies - it's such a panic isn't it (she didn't and I do)

Bogwoppit - congratulations!! Fab news, will check out the details after this!

BB - I found that the weeks absolutely dragged by up until a week or so ago, it's agony.....I'm nearly 14 weeks and so pleased to be here!!

Hi all. Bunny, sorry to hear you've had another scare. Hopefully you'll be feeling movements very soon. Try not to worry about the lack of anything just yet though, it can depend on the position of the placenta and lots of other things, and maybe you are having a placid, calm, un-wriggly baby!

Tex - sorry to hear about your recent m/c. I can't answer your specific question because I didn't have a D&C (miscarried naturally). We waited a couple of months before trying a again (advice at the time plus I wanted to be able to have a tipple over Christmas without worrying!). We then conceived again 3rd month of trying (it had taken us 5 months first time so it was nice to get pg again quite quickly). My cycles did go a bit haywire for a few months so I doubt if I would have conceived before that anyway. Hope everything works out well for you.

hana - yes, the slapped cheek thing has seemed never-ending. I went to give my blood sample this morning. Won't expect the results for 3 weeks or so, although I'll ring after 2 in the hopes! I'm now well out of the incubation period and I haven't been ill so unless I contracted it without getting symptoms then I think I shall be OK. My main fear was miscarriage and I think that would have happened by now if it were going to. If I did contract it, then there is a 1% chance of hydrops foetalis which is apparently treatable by giving the foetus blood transfusions, and it can be detected by ultrasound so I don't feel so frightened about that.

Bogwoppit, I think I posted on your other thread but congratulations again anyway!

Quacks, hope everything is well and that you're feeling lots of kicks now. My db2 is starting to kick a bit harder now .

BB - 11 weeks already! Nearly past the worst bit, hope you can feel a bit more relaxed soon. Do you have a scan date?

no more bleeding . fingers crossed it'll all be fine.

Tex, after my first mc and d&c, I didnt conceive for a long time - about 18 months I think, this was a surprise as in pregnancies 1 and 2 I conceived first or second month of trying. When I spoke to the doctor I got a referral and it turned out I had stopped ovulating, clomid was prescribed and I got pg 2nd month after taking the medication. Unfortunately I miscarried again and had another d&c. I waited 3 months then started on the clomid. I again got pg 2nd month of trying. HTH

Bunny, sorry to hear you've had more bleeding. I am very pleased you're ok and obviously this is having no effect on your baby. It must be coming from you somewhere, maybe a cyst/fybroid that is harmless. A scan should show this now, so I hope it goes well. Let us know how it goes. Be thinking of you! xxxxxx
Gingernut, glad you;re getting good kicks!! Yes I'm getting much better action again now. It seems to change position all the time! Not like the first time at all! Hope it settles soon as I'm not far off now!
Welcome Tex111, good to have you here!
My experiences of ERPC and fertilty:
I had a missed m/c at 15 weeks, had an ERPC, but got a small infection, so my bleeding took ages to stop. I did get pg again, first month of trying, the ERPC had no effect on fertility, but my cycles were not right at all. I had bleeding between cycles, but I was desperate to get pg again. I lost that one too at 6 weeks and the sonographer said the sac was very low and there was still a little bit left over from the previous m/c. This time, I bled heavily but quickly and I really felt 'emptied' the second time. We waited 2 months to make sure my cycles were ok again and I had no bleeding at all between cycles. We conceived this baby that month and now all being well I'm 35 weeks.
I would just make sure you;re not bleeding any more, or having irregular bleeding and GO FOR IT!!!!!! Godd luck!!

thanks all for your good wishes...and congrats bogwoppit !!! Great news.

Bunny - I have everything crossed for you....you are having a tough time of it.

Quackers - i'm on Jan thread - could be a New yrs baby !
Gingernut...first scan in 2.5 weeks but am seeing GP on Friday so will ask to hear the heartbeat. Fingers crossed i'll hear something.

take care everyone

The scan confirmed the worst. Missed-miscarriage again. Feeling doubly heartbroken as the first discovery was we were expecting twins... I was barely over this first shock when the sonographer told us that he was having trouble finding either heatbeat. Gestational age was estimated to be about 14 weeks and I though I was between 15 +5 days and 16+3... Was encouraged to have an ERPC but left the hospital with the intention of thinking it through some more; the last experience still gives me nightmares (literally).

Canadianmom, I am so sorry. You just dont deserve this sort of bad luck. I cant believe it has happened to you again. Please let us know how we can help. After my second miscarriage I started a thread which I just used to rant, I found it very therapeutic to write how I was feeling and I got lots of warm and kind responses which did go some way to making me feel better. The only thing that really heals though is time so you have to allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve. Be kind to yourself and dont expect anything of yourself, let other people take care of you. Do you have a supportive family?

Bunny. Thanks for the support and the advice. Can't stop crying. Pathetic actually... My husband and children are great but our family are all in Canada (I'm in the UK). They are actually so HORRIBLE that I am relieved to only have to deal with them over the phone/internet. Their view is that 2 children is plenty and I already have 3. We would never have managed another 1 never mind 2 blah, blah, blah! Which takes a lot of nerve since they are thousands of miles away and have no clue how we do or do not manage!
(Is this what you meant by ranting--should I put this in my own thread!) Musings of a madwoman sounds like a likely title at this stage.

caonadianmom sorry to hear your sad news - struck a chord with me as just m/c at 12 weeks. Sorry to hijack thread but I was just wondering if what is happening to me is 'normal'? Incomplete miscarriage, no d&C (yet), scanned again today, still little bit of something there, given antibiotics for a week and booked in for another scan next week. What is worrying me that then they will say we will do a D&C anyway!!

Canadianmom, glad your family are miles away, they sound no use at all. You are not pathetic at all, I cried non stop after my miscarriages, it is the only way to grieve. Bottling things up is not healthy. Do you know the Miscarriage Association? I'll try and find a link for you.

Merlin, I think they often do want to do a d&c, just to make sure everything is out. I have had 2, they were quick and painless.

here it is

SO sorry, Canadianmo, I really am. It's very sad news. HUgs {{{}}}
Merlin, yes I waited 3 weeks for an ERPC, I wanted one but they wanted me to wait. Given that the baby had died 7 weeks before and there no sign of anything getting going, I insisted after the 3 weeks that they sort me out, as it was just too traumatic carrying the poor lamb round. I needed to get on. Hugs {{{}}}

Canadianmom, hope you are coping ok, I was thinking of you today. I am sure you have read some of the threads in the miscarraige/bereavement section of Mumsnet, if not, do so, they helped me when I was grieving.

I has another mc scare and it left me in floods of tears, thank goodness my fears werent realised.

Canadianmom, I just read about your missed miscarriage and I am so, so sorry. You were such a huge comfort when I miscarried last week. I hope you can channel some of that strength into caring for yourself right now. Please check in when you feel like it and let us know how you're doing.

Canadianmom, I'm so sorry to read your sad news. I couldn't stop crying either - agree with bunny it's good to let things out and anyway, it's just unstoppable isn't it.

Merlin, sorry I can't answer your question - I had a complete m/c (I had opted for a D&C but it happened naturally within hours of my scan).

Take care, both of you xx.

CAnadianmom - I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family again. My thoughts are with you.

Canadianmom, I've only just read your devestating news, and my heart goes out to you. How heartbreaking for you and the rest of your family. I hope you're getting lots of love and support from everyone -

do rant, I found mumsnet to be a great comfort for me when I needed it the most.
Thinking of you
hana

Thank you all for your kind words. We opted for a 'medical termination' (basically induction of labour) based on the consultants recommendation, as I was carrying twins with the estimated gestational age of 14 weeks. I was given a tablet on Thursday evening and was admitted to hospital Saturday morning.
Babies were identical boys. So small and yet so perfect--10 long fingers and 10 toes each. Looked rather like our ds1... Very sad and frustrating as there does not seem to be a reason why this happens (third time for us). They ran every test going to find a logical explanation but I expect the results to all come back negative as they have in the past. I have an appt. with the consultant in the miscarriage clinic in 5 weeks to discuss the results and ask any questions we may have.

The midwives and the doctors were amazing and very kind. The hospital provides a memorial service and the option of burrial or cremation so far more closure than with an ERPC, I suppose.

The third stage took ages and I lost so much blood that I needed to have the placenta manually removed as there was no time to get to the theatre. Would not highly reccomend that part of the procedure--rather painful and very odd feeling.

Feeling physically week (as HB is low) but happy to be home. (Sent home Monday a.m.) I am so grateful to have three happy children to keep me busy. Not sure that I will have the courage to try again but it is still early days so who knows how I may feel in a few months. Thanks again for all of your support. (Sorry if I over-shared!)

Canadianmom
Hi. I've posted to you on another thread about what has happened. I want you to know I'm thinking of you and your family, even thoguh I dont know you I know how you are feeling and I also appreciate you must also be feeling desperate as this has happened before. Our little girl died at 38 weeks for no know reason and it is terribly frustrating adn seems awful when your baby looks (and is) so perfect.

I am glad that your medical experience was "positive" - my labour and delivery were also and it makes a massicve difference. Please feel free to keep posting and let us know how you are going.

Hopejoy

Canadianmom, I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your sons. Not so long ago I was on an earlier incarnation of this thread as I lost a baby boy at 22 weeks (he'd died in the womb too). I so agree with you and hopejoy that the kindness and sensitivity of the health professionals you deal with makes a huge difference. I will never forget the midwife who delivered Tom.
I hope that you make a good physical recovery from your labour and that your appointment in five weeks' time leads to a proper follow-up. Maybe time to up the ante and get an urgent referral to a Recurrent Miscarriage specialist clinic?
Thinking of you.

Canadianmom, I am so sorry you have gone through such a sad experience. Pls dont worry about over-sharing, say as much or as little as you are comfortable with, it is part of the healing process. Big hug to you.