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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

For mums 2 be after M/C ... PART 5!

563 replies

hewlettsdaughter · 10/11/2003 21:36

Hi there. I was just wondering how everyone is - Ghosty, Hilary, Bogwoppit and anybody else who is pregnant after a previous miscarriage. There seems to have been a lot of sad news re pregnancies on mumsnet recently. On the one hand, I feel like I don't want to parade being pregnant in front of those who have had an m/c - on the other hand, we need to show that there are some positive stories out there!
I am 16 weeks tomorrow. Feeling ok, over the nausea I felt from about week 7 to week 12 or 13.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DelGirl · 02/05/2004 00:08

bunny2 - just reading your message made me feel exhausted but I do know how you feel. I lost my dh 2 years ago this June, we'd only been together for 2 years, then I had a m/c at 11 weeks a year ago this Thursday and now this one too. I feel so numb and and am sick of feeling cr*p but law of averages and all that - it's got to happen some time, that's what I keep telling myself anyway.

I'll keep everything crossed for you - i'm sure things will turn out just as you hope x

Jezebel · 02/05/2004 00:17

dELgIRL HUGS{{{}}}

bunny2 · 02/05/2004 00:20

DelGirl, that is so sad to lose your dh. I am so sorry. Sometimes I wonder why we (that is dh and me) have so much bad luck, we have had an incredible run of misfortune lasting about 3 years and I do have to remind myself that it has to end, that we are due some good luck. Lets hope this is a good year for you and me both.

hana · 02/05/2004 11:49

bunny - hope your anxiety goes away after the scan on Wednesday - Dates are hard, aren't they, and I think we're the only ones (the women I mean) to remember forever. YOur booking in appt seems to have gone well though, so it'a all little positive steps forward to the great end result.

I still haven't seen my doctor to tell her I'm pregnant and be in the system, and am scared to make that first move. Part of me wants an early scan, but part of me is just waiting for something terrible to happen. When I had an early scan in my last pregnancy - there was no heartbeat at 8 weeks.....both m/c started when I was at work - last Friday at work I was terrified to even go to the loo in case there was a bit of blood. I know it's hard for all of us to be pregnant on this board, I'm finding these early weeks really difficult, I have no energy to do anything, feel sick most of the day and can't motivate myself to do anything. We haven't told anyone yet either - maybe it would help if I told mum? I don't know. When did you all tell family and close friends?

miracleabie · 02/05/2004 12:44

know what you mean hana. I feel like this too and i haven't evn taken a pg test yet. I have 5 whole long dragging days to go. It is impossible to explain to anybody what it is like. I would only talk to anyone if you are sure of a balanced and reasonably positive reaction. My parents have known about this ivf process since the beginning but can't bear to hear about it. Last M/C in September03 my mum sent me flowers and went away on holiday the next day so not very helpful.Most of my friends have lost interest after 5 years of us trying. Really only DH gets it
Del girl how are you today? I am so sorry you are on your own going through this.I know what you mean about feeling numb. It is horrible.All you can do is give it time. I think you are doing the right thing going into it again as long as you feel up to it

bunny2 · 02/05/2004 23:38

It is so horribly hard isnt it? The first few weeks were the worst. I have had 5 scans so far and am starting to feel a little bit more confident. I told my Mum right away Hana, she isnt very good at emotion but she is at practical help. As soon as I told her I was pg again she was galvinised into action and has been taking ds out for me and coming round to babysit so I can attned my appointments without the extra worry of a bored toddler. If I were you I'd tell but I dont know what your relationship is like. Most of my friends know now too, it has only been common knowledge for a few days but it is getting difficult to hide with my bulging tum especially as a group of us go swimming twice a week.

Well, its my 10 wk scan tomorrow, the one I have been dreading. If all is ok tomorrow I might even begin to relax a bit.

DelGirl · 03/05/2004 00:27

jellycat - yes, I feel that I need to get started on it again though i'm not sure if the clinic will allow me to yet. I'll hopefully find out on thursday. They said they're shutting for the summer too so it'll be winter time before it gets underway if I don't do it now. Still feel numb really and going into work tomorrow which is what I dread. A few colleague's know because they know i'm having treatment - it's quite difficult to keep things quiet when you work so closely with people. Well me, mouth almighty, does.
Bunny2 - thanks...seems 'we' are due a spell of good luck doesn't it? After these next 2 go's that'll definitely be it for me. I've wanted children all my life, as we all have probably. Hopefully the next time will be 'the' time but in a way it'll be a relief for all the wondering and waiting to be over.
MIracleabie - still feeling numb really. The real test will be when I go to work tomorrow. It'll be the same feeling as last year and the the year before that but hopefully I won't be asked too many questions, that's when it gets hard and i'm not good at saying i don't want to talk about it. Most people will know to leave me be but there are just one or two who probably won't. Anyway - i've taken up enough of this thread for now.

Bunny2 - loads of luck for your scan
Miracleabie - 4 days and counting, fingers crossed!

DelGirl · 03/05/2004 00:30

oh, and thanks for the hugs jezebel

Angeliz · 03/05/2004 00:34

Hi everyone.
I wonder if i could ask a question that's been niggling me!
I did pregnancy test about 5 days before i was due my period,(couldn't wait), and there was a very faint line!! I was over the moon, then the following three days every test was negative then i got my period!!
I assume it was a faulty test but if it wasn't, do i need to be checked out by G.P or anything! Sounds incredibly naive but i really don't know. I didn't think so till i read something on here about it!!
If anyone can make sense of that thanks!!

Angeliz · 03/05/2004 00:38

Sorry, maybe wrong place to ask!!

jellycat · 03/05/2004 02:02

Hi everyone.

Hana, we have told the people who we would tell if I had another m/c. That is, close friends and both sets of parents. They aren't necessarily all supportive (although they try to be, just that some of them just don't seem to understand) but I found the first time that it was so difficult to keep my misery completely to myself but it is also difficult to tell people that you've just had a m/c when they didn't even know you were pg. So I decided it was better this way.

bunny, good luck again for your scan. What time is it? Sorry it is a difficult week for dates. It's really hard isn't it. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

DelGirl, hope work tomorrow isn't too awful. I thought I would mention a lady who posts on here sometimes, her nickname is LEWEI and she had a stillbirth and then 2 miscarriages and was wondering whether to give up completely when she discovered she was pregnant again. She took aspirin in this pregnancy and she had a baby girl earlier on this year. I'm telling you this to say, if it really is what you want to do (and I think it is) then go for it if you can, you never know what might happen. I appreciate that you're still feeling numb though - it must be really hard to have to make a decision so soon, especially since you're on your own. And I have only had 1 m/c so I appreciate that it is probably so much harder when you've been knocked back twice as well as losing your dh.

Angeliz, I don't think you need to worry about having a checkup, as long as the bleeding you're having is normal for you. If you get anything abnormal (e.g. heavier than usual, lighter than usual, excessive pain, temperature) then I would see a doctor just in case there's an infection but I expect you'll be OK. If you're worried, could you just ring your surgery and ask your GP to call back for a quick chat when (s)he's got a minute, or you could try NHS Direct?

Jezebel · 03/05/2004 02:13

Great post Jellycat

beansprout · 03/05/2004 11:21

Sorry to gatecrash, but just wanted to say best of luck to Bunny for today, will be thinking of you.

Hi to everyone else too.

Angeliz · 03/05/2004 11:50

Thanks jellycat an good luck to everyone trying+

I think i just had a normal period, no problems, but even the thought of that faint line upset me as i kind of 'felt' pregnant!

Anyway.....thanks+

bunny2 · 03/05/2004 11:57

Angeliz, how many days after ov did you test? A faint line woud suggest implantation might have occured (so 7-10 days after ov) but perhaps the egg did not implant properly. I think this is called a chemical pregnancy. I wouldnt talk to a doctor about it but if it happened again I probably would just incase you have something that is causing the problem.

Beansprout, JC and DelGirl, thank you so much for your thoughts. I am dreading 3.15 today and will be relieved when it is all over.

DelGirl, I am thinking of you too today. Just concentrate on getting through the day, maybe tomorrow will be a bit easier.XX

miracleabie · 03/05/2004 14:17

Delgirl-thanks for kind words. had some spotting yesterday, so feeling a bit depressed. Keep taking out the PG test and putting it back in the box. No point in doing it now I know. Just so hard to stay upbeat. Am very weepy too which is freaking out DH. Just been on the care-ivf website
but still isn't working. Also I am so tired- could sleep and sleep. is this normal?

bunny2 · 03/05/2004 14:36

miracleabie, I dont weant to get your hopes up but the only time I get really tired is when I am pg, in fact it was my first symptom this time. I was also spotting a few days b4 I could test. I rang my consultant in tears saying the clomid hadnt worked, a few days alter I got a +++. Fingers crossed for you.

jellycat · 03/05/2004 14:56

bunny, shame your scan's quite late in the day - not long now though! I'll try and pop on here later to see your news but we have guests this evening so I don't know when I'll get on.

Angeliz, I always tried to resist the temptation to test early because of the possibility of getting a positive but then having my period - just figured it was better not to know if I did have a `chemical pregnancy'. Not criticising, that's just my take on things - the waiting is horrible too I know. I hope you do have a real positive soon - sometimes it just takes a little time, that's all.

Thanks Jezebel! How are you getting on?

miracleabie · 03/05/2004 17:40

thanks bunny2, that does make me feel a bit better.I was just at the diabetic clinic and they were really pleased with my results and were, more importantly really supportive. Actually had a 'real' conversation with a nurse for a change instead of a scolding or a told you so. She was so nice.Thanks goodness as i was fit for the funny farm this morning. Just feel less sorry for myself. Everything is so much harder after a m/c so masses of hugs and admiration for anyone who is going through this right now. It is so hard not to think the worst all the time.
Many thanks for all supportive vibes

hana · 03/05/2004 18:14

spoke to mum today and told her - and she thinks I should call 'mental health' (or the equivalent here) and talk to someone. She didn't even congratulate me. She's normally really positive about everything so her reaction has suprised me. NOt even a 'well that's fantastic' sort of thing. I've been crying most of the day and feel so down. Poor dd has square eyes from watching far too much tv. I have no energy to do anything. Am getting really anxious about being pregnant again. How can I get out of this? Am just so very scared that we'll lose this one too.

beansprout · 03/05/2004 19:31

Aw Hana, I wish I could say something to help you but can only offer my sympathy to you at what, understandably, is an anxious time. I was a complete bag of nerves in my first few weeks and just tried to keep my mind occupied, myself busy, feeling positive etc, which on a bad day, was just almost impossible. Big hug to you though.

Bunny - how has it gone today? Have been thinking of you this afternoon and everything possible is crossed that you have good news?

hana · 03/05/2004 22:22

bunny, just wondering how you are, hope things were ok,
hana

DelGirl · 03/05/2004 22:25

Thinking of you bunny2 - hope it went well

jellycat · 03/05/2004 23:03

bunny - hope you got on OK xx

bunny2 · 03/05/2004 23:12

Scantastic! it's all ok. Thank you so much again for all your support, it means alot. Baba is measuring 9.6 so right on target, he is (Im sure its a boy) wriggling around alot and has a good heartbeat. Phew! I have a nuchal scan in 2 wks and then one more scan at 14 wks with my consultant (that's alot of scans).

Hana, I am so sorry your mother's response was disappointing. My MILs was too and it was really upsetting. If you are like me, the next few weeks will be extraordinarily tense and emotional. I have had access to a brilliant EPU who have always fitted me in immediately for some reassurance, I also have an excellent consultant who is happy to scan me regularly. Without the support, I dont know how I would have got through it, especially with alcohol off the menu. What sort of support and reassurance can you get? Do you have an EPU or a sympathetic doctor? This thread has also been really useful too, we have all been through loads of sh*t and can give you lots of sympathy and encouragement. Bunnyxx

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