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For mums 2 be after M/C ... PART 5!

563 replies

hewlettsdaughter · 10/11/2003 21:36

Hi there. I was just wondering how everyone is - Ghosty, Hilary, Bogwoppit and anybody else who is pregnant after a previous miscarriage. There seems to have been a lot of sad news re pregnancies on mumsnet recently. On the one hand, I feel like I don't want to parade being pregnant in front of those who have had an m/c - on the other hand, we need to show that there are some positive stories out there!
I am 16 weeks tomorrow. Feeling ok, over the nausea I felt from about week 7 to week 12 or 13.

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piglit · 24/04/2004 12:48

Good luck Bunny - fingers crossed. I had exactly that kind of bleed at 9/10 weeks and it was all fine. Thinking of you.

jellycat · 24/04/2004 14:17

Hi bunny, are you OK? Sorry about your dh. I often feel my dh doesn't really understand either. I think they just have their different ways of dealing with things. Hugs.

jodee · 24/04/2004 14:36

Bunny, hope everything is OK, sorry about your DH ... fwiw, I had zero sympathy when I started bleeding (leading to my m/c). Anything I can do, you know where I am. xx

bunny2 · 24/04/2004 15:32

Hi, back from the hospital with good news Baba is 8wks and 5 days so right on target and the bleeding is coming from a small collection of blood outside the placenta. The lovely lovely nurse (she knows me well!) explained it might cause more bleeding but was perfectly normal and nothing to worry about though if I am worried I can go back any time and they will scan me. She was so kind. Things were resolved with dh before we went, he is finding it hard to deal with too and he is in the process of seeting up his own business so he has lots to worry about. Bless him, my wedding ring is back on

Thanks for all the support from everyone, I'm a bit needy right now Jodee, I'll call you.

Hana, it is great to see you back on the pregnancy boards. Quacks is doing ok and we are both going to follow! Take care of yourself and keep us up-to-date. Are you really expecting a Christmas baby? What a lovely present, cant beat that one!

bunny2 · 24/04/2004 15:33

Eyelash, how are you? Pls tell me it gets easier!

beansprout · 24/04/2004 15:39

Bunny - that's great news and glad that you have such fab support from the hospital (and that your ring is back on!!!)

jellycat · 24/04/2004 16:36

Phew bunny! That's great news . This pg thing is so stressful isn't it.

hana · 24/04/2004 16:43

no Bunny - couldn't wish for a better present, could I? There seem to be so many of us who have had (fairly) recent m/c which I'm taking as a positive sign - that are pregnant again and all doing well. So happy to see lots of you here - from last summer when I was pretty low......
I am only 4 and a bit weeks and due date is Christmas Day. This is one day out from the one we lost last summer, so I do think there is something to that.

Like so many of you, these early days are so difficult.....and being able to come here and share my worries all helps a great deal. There was a thread earlier about 'what do your dh/dp's think of mumsnet' or something like that - I never got around to posting something but my dh thinks everyone on mumnet is a axe carrying paedophile - I just can't get across to him what amount of support and strength I've had from the site in the past 10 months. He really doesn't understand.

And congrats to you Jeezbel - only just realising you were Brunhilda. Will see you on the Dec board lots I imagine! I'm so happy for everyone here, and so happy that I can join you all too!
hana

hana · 24/04/2004 16:46

and pleased for you bunny - sounds like a fab unit you go to. Glad you have your ring back on too

wondering when I should go for a first scan? Did anyone not bother until 12 weeks? I know that 6 weeks might be a bit early......but know I won't be able to leave it until the 12 weeks......also haven't told anyone yet and kind of want to keep it to ourselves for a little longer, it's nice having a secret that makes you feel great.

jellycat · 24/04/2004 17:08

Hi hana, I have a scan booked for tomorrow, when I shall be nearly 9 weeks. I was advised to leave it till at least 8 weeks because they are pretty certain of being able to see a heartbeat by then, if all is well. Then if things aren't going OK they can be pretty sure of this. If you have a scan a bit earlier, then they may be able to see a heartbeat but if they can't they may not feel confident enough to be able to say whether or not it's OK and you may have to go a bit later to be re-scanned. I would suggest you discuss it with your doctor or with the people at the place where you will be going to have the scan, they should be able to advise you.

8 weeks probably seems a very long way away to you at the moment, but personally I've been surprised at how quickly that time's gone. Also, I started feeling better once I had my scan date booked, IYSWIM.

I have found a site where there are lots of scan photos so you can see how much detail you should be able to see at different stages. It's here .

HTH.

piglit · 24/04/2004 17:32

Hooray Bunny!

Quackers · 24/04/2004 17:46

Hiya, firstly Bunny, FAB! I just know you;re going to be fine this time. Bubbs is obviously a fighter! I also wanted to add that by the time we were pg like you for a third time in 9 months, DH was a bit 'bury head in the sand'. Delighted and then when I said I was bleeding again that just seemed to trigger very bad memories and it was tough to stick toegther until the scan confirmed all was ok. I think it;s their own defence mechanism like we discussed happens to us. They don;t want to get excited or too involved and it's not cos they don;t care, it's the opposite, they do, very much. He;s only just starting to relax a little and we even discussed the birth last night, so that excitement we had with DD is starting to appear to some extent and YES it does get easier, as you get more and more confident with each scan and feel your womb growing and then little ripples of movement. Thinking of you, give DH a hug tonight xxx
Hana, I think it;s brill about your pgcy. It was the 4-5 of us a few months ago on the m/c threads and we've all come through ttc and out this side. I'm 26 weeks, eyelash is 17, Bunny is 8 and Jezebel (brunhilda) is 8 too I think - correct me if I'm wrong. We are PROOF that you can do it after loss after loss.

eyelash · 24/04/2004 17:51

Bunny2 - great news. It must have been such a relief to see the baby and know everything is ok. Great news re your wedding ring as well.

Maybe others will provide you with some better insight but I personally have found this pregnancy very stressful. I have had great scans, reassuring support from the miscarriage clinic, etc but the fear for me has never gone away. Although I have been feeling the baby kicking for a week or so when resting at night and that is so reassuring. I think any pregnancy preceded by a miscarriage just naturally carries more worries because you know what may happen. But I do take great reassurance from the stats and know that each passing week is a great one. Dh also feels the stress as well.

ds1 (aged 4) had me in happy tears today. As he ate his lunch he said "You know I love you, dad and ds2 but I think I will love the baby more". When I asked him why he just said "Because I will". So cute.

Jellycat - best of luck for the scan tomorrow. It only seems like the other day when you were 4 weeks pregnant.

hana - I have had early scans at 6 weeks when they should at least see the sac. Could you ring the EPU and ask their advice.

Hope everybody else is ok.

hana · 24/04/2004 18:24

eyelash - I'm in tears at what your little guy said about the baby! What a sweetheart. The pregnancy hormones are in full swing.
I think I will wait until 8 weeks (thanks Jellycat - and thanks for the link, I'll have a look) I'll have to think of it as 1 month away rather than 4 weeks which seems a lot longer. Its hard though, isn't it.
Quacks - can't believe you're 26 already!! What's your due date?

pollingfold · 24/04/2004 18:29

Hana

I hadn't realised you were back, many congrats. Hopefully this will be your time. Goodluck.

bunny2 · 24/04/2004 21:57

You're all so great, thanks again.

Eyelash, that is so sweet

Quackers · 24/04/2004 23:45

Hi, I know it has gone so quick Hana since 15 weeks. Those first weeks were so slow and worrying and I'm a bit more settled now and getting HUGE! I too had my first scan early. They did one at 7 and 9 weeks. They should be able to see the heartbeat by 7 weeks, sometimes slightly earlier and I was surprised actually how much we could see. By 9 weeks I have a great pic of a tiny baby and it was moving around for us!
Eyelash! Hi, LOL my DD is tickling the baby now and getting it to move for her, then talking to it - it;s so sweet!!

Quackers · 24/04/2004 23:47

OOPS! Mean to wish JC all the best for your scan - be thinking of you chucks xxxxx

jellycat · 25/04/2004 00:03

Thanks Quacks and eyelash! I'll let you know how we get on as soon as I get back (scan is at 12 o'clock).

Jezebel · 25/04/2004 00:39

So pleased for you Bunny. You are all fab. BTW a friend who had a baby at the same time as me visited the othre day. Sh eburst into tears and told me that she had had an mc. Not only that but she told me that 2 people in my antenatal class had had mcs. She told me this cos she knew I had had 2 of them. I told her that I had now in fact had 3 of them and was pg again. What the B is going on? thisis so common? Why does no one warn youngsters about it? I was so scared when it first happened to me but now I see that it is all over the place. I volunteered to be an mc counsellor for NCT. Chair of the group told me on the phone that she had had 3 mcs too. Serious question: why is there not more in the media about this?

Half of me wants to go back to Brunhilda. Other half pleased to wave goodbye to the name and slightly superstitious about what would happen if I went back to it.

Quacks I am 5 weeks pg. Think will wait for 2 more weeks and go for scan. Feel very relaxed (strangely). but am paranoid when I go to the loo, specially when I do anumber 2 (if you will pardon me). I keep going to check my cm. How yuk?

bunny2 · 25/04/2004 13:06

Jezebel, I know what you mean about being un-informed about miscarriages, it didnt cross my mind that I might ever have one. Got to go, dh wants pc.

JC, good luck today, thinking of you.

jellycat · 25/04/2004 16:24

!

Everything was OK, we could see the heartbeat clearly and bean is measuring right for dates. We even saw it wriggling!

Obviously we are still in the pre-12 week limbo but I feel very relieved - so far so good!

Jezebel, I know what you mean about m/cs being somewhat hushed-up. My mother had one when I was 7 and I remember it, so I've known about them since then, and was always worried that it could happen to me. People seem to keep quiet about m/cs though, so the rest of us don't realise how common they are - loads of people have only told me they've had m/cs when I've told them I have. Mumsnet has made me more aware of how common it is actually, because people are willing to talk on here when often they keep quiet IRL.

And I too study the loo paper after every visit!

bunny2 · 25/04/2004 16:28

Yipee JC, just snuck in to check on your news. I'm really pleased for you. Did they give you the age of your bean? Mine was, as of yesterday, 8wks5days.

miracleabie · 25/04/2004 16:34

Hello have just come over here from IVF thread as I had embryo transfer 2 days ago. Last IVF cycle I had a M/c at 13 weeks so am feeling really nervous this time. Got just under 10 days before i can do a pg test so its all really early days. Please be gentle...

jellycat · 25/04/2004 16:41

Bunny, the sonographer reckoned it was 9 weeks already, but I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate that early. A lot must be down to exactly where they click when doing the measurements. We'll see what they say at the 12 week scan.

Hello miracleabie, and welcome to the thread . Hope everything goes well for you this time - fingers crossed. Everyone on here is very understanding!