Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 8

[tiggersreturn]

new thread!!

just popping in to say im in for the southern meet up too

So the scan didn't go too well. Follies still v tiny and not responding particularly well to the drugs. They given me an extra drug to take as well, but I'm feeling pretty depressed now. :(

Possibly up for London meet-up, house-move, ds summer holiday schemes and general immobility permitting.

dachs so sorry to hear your news :( fingers crossed your follies will pull themselves together v soon and they are just being slow off the mark.

Waves all round to everyone else-absolutely shattered so off to bed. My charming neighbours have got a full scale rave up going on in their back garden AGAIN so will be windows shut tonight despite being sweltering

Dachs my darling I seem to recall all of us willing the follies on previously - I shall start sacrificing the goats immediately and dance nekkid round a bonfire too. Chin up my lovely. I am not given to praying but I am hoping so much that this cycle is the one that brings you good, good things xx

Nix - damnit. This last bit is a right bunch of arse. I am seeing a doula today and an acupuncturist tomorrow, it feels like I am mobilising an army to fight my corner. Failing that it will be a rummage from the CMW on Thursday. If I get any more stressed about it I suspect that the minute the acupuncturist inserts the first needle I will actually explode.

Ps. I'm in Oxford so a London meet up could work for me too, yay!

Dachs sorry to hear your follies arent behaving but I too have everything crossed that they will sort themselves out for you.

minnie glad all was ok and that the bleed was nothing.

dacha that the scan didn't go to well and that follies are not cooperating, but if they increased the dose last time and that worked then there is certainly hope and like everyone else I am, with all my might, rooting for you. So sorry your ml date has passed too. It must be so very hard for that to come around so soon after your loss. Come on follies!

owl sorry about your bp rising. That's a big pain in the arse! I hope you get sorted. Something tells me there wil be no arguing with mrsboots ! I hope the next week goes quickly and the acupuncturist helps.

All ok here. Working on our vw van this weekend, trying to make it habitable for our hol in 3 weeks! Back is still doing my head in, decided to see DHs chiro as I'm starting to have trouble walking! but all else fine. Lots of movement. Although I keep coming out in a rash on my tummy. Tiny little red dots, but only last a day or so then fade. But I've had it 3 times now. Anyone else getting this? Weird!

owl pmsl at the thought of a heavily pg lady dancing round a bonfire for me! :)

I know they took a while to get going last time - I think it's just with the timing of the not v positive looking scan coming so soon after my mat leave date it just really got me down. Am trying to go back to positive thinking.

Hi ladies - good to read all your news.

Sorry your follies weren't progressing as well as you'd hoped - I'm sending lots of positive vibes that these ones are slow starters like the last time.

PMSL at mamap having to check your dates on MN - methinks a bit of slowing down is in order....!

Really hope that it doesn't come down to an induction for you owl - could we clobber together the grads' thread's stapler, superglue and tractor to ward off the evil induction pushers....?!

Your trial run sounds wonderful daisy. How's your collection of pushchairs coming along?! We bought a 2nd hand bugaboo chameleon on Fri which is in fab condition and from a really nice English family (I don't know how this last bit is relevant, but I was pleased ). The insert is red so good for team yellow but I may get a new one as it's fleece and therefore not so good for the 48 degree temperatures

Sorry that there are a few of you worrying about lack of movements. Can I be a pain and ask about extra movements? JuniorWIW seems to have been kicking up a storm for the last 24 hours or so (not all the time though) and I had a dizzy spell yesterday for about an hour (tested BP with an electronic monitor that DH has and it was fine) - do you think I need to worry? Thanks ladies.

Morning Ladies

Dachs - got everything crossed for you... Will be hoping and praying that the follies cooperate.

Daisy - very impressed with your trial run. Not sure if I'd feel content or absolutely bloody terrified!

WIW - fab to hear from you. Buggy sounds fab. We seem to live parallel lives at the mo (my almost due date twin). Yesterday we went to JL and ordered the Bugaboo Bee. I think they thought we were nuts buying it so early but I figured it would be better to do something each week.

Collie - exciting re your hols. Sorry to hear you're in pain. Are there any gentle exercises you can do? As for rash, are you putting anything on it? Have you done any more baby shopping?

Owl - let me know how it goes with the doula - still contemplating getting one myself

DH had a major freakout on Sat (cue huge row chex Lara). I think it's because he's been internalising everything combined with the fact that impending fatherhood is becoming a reality but he totally lost the plot with me. I think he's quite anxious re the sense of responsibility (I know he'll be fab), how our relationship will change (we have rowed more late for various reasons) and the impact of a baba in our lives. Doesn't help that we haven't done the do since I got my BFP (same reasons as Pink - I am rhesus neg and DH is absolutely terrified of harming me / Bean). Maybe it's a build of tension in that department too on his part..? I realise I'm really lucky to have you guys to offload too combined with friends, mother, sister etc but he doesn't talk about anything significant to anyone. Anyone else had psycho-OHs of late?

As for London meet Ladies, let's do it! Shall we pick a random Sat / Sun one of these fine weekends and arrange something in the centre? I am in south west London but appreciate many of you are coming from further so happy to meet wherever is convenient for transport links. Shall we do a decaf coffee and cake type thing?

Wiw - can't advise re. movements. Am quite worried that my movements aren't enough. I barely feel anything... Cue Monday morning Dr Google session and long panic.

Lara. Meet up sounds good. Next 2 weekends bad for me but then am free for any other weekend as far as I know. Will update later about scan (which is in about 15 mins)

So the follies are getting bigger, but only 6 are developing, which is half as many as the previous two times :(

A very quick hello from me - a proper one later. Enormous hugs to those who've had a rocky few days - I've just managed a scan through the posts since Wednesday.

I would love to meet up - I can do Sun 14 Aug(although this is the hardest one for me), Sun 21st or Sat 3rd September. Somewhere central would be great for me and cake is always a massive winner. Should we all wear stickers with Mental written on them so that we can recognise each other?

Back later

Picking a totally random date, how about Sunday 21st Aug?

Hi there,
Can I de-lurk again for a moment to check my sanity/approach to this pg?
So at 19.5 wks I'd say me and the DH are approaching things positively but cautiously - we're 'on the same page' and feel comfortable with our approach. We're happy we've made it this far and have hopes for the future, but we're also aware that things can still go wrong and that losing a baby at full term or near is still a possiblity. So, the bit I'm getting to is that when talking about bub with other people, we just like to temper things a bit and say things like 'hopefully things will work out fine' or 'all being well, that should be the case'. I don't think this is negative or morbid, just honest and cautious. It really helps us both cope as we literally don't want to count our chickens before they've hatched!

Anyway, when chatting to the MIL this weekend she told me not to be silly, that I needed to be positive about this pg and that wait for it....I needed a slap!!!!! I was ready to cry, but I fought back (this was in a shop) and said that wasn't true, I wasn't negative and I thought she was talking rubbish! It was clumsily put, but so was what she said. Anyway, a month ago one of my best friends also gave me the pep talk about 'being positive' after she was squealing 'you're going to have a baby at Christmas'.

Is anyone else suffering from this, I feel like I can't ever forgive my friend for getting it so wrong (which I know sounds melodramatic but it's how I feel) What harm is there in my approach if it's making me happy and able to cope? Why do I have to cope with my pg in ways that other people approve of? Why is pretending that bad stuff doesn't happen = being positive - I think it's ignorant. Arrghh, sorry to rant - just needed to get it out my head!

oh forgot to add, perhaps I'm just more sensitive/nervous given we're a few days away from the 20 wk scan?!

Quick one from me to say good luck to Dachs and her follies. It's quality not quantity that counts lady! FX one (or two of the six) will get there!!

I'm also up for a london meet up (though i'm getting less and less mobile due to SPD :o( Aug 13/14, 21st (lunchtime but could possibly do either side) or 27th are not good for me but apart from that I'm free (until Wombean arrives at least)!

Dachs pleased that they are growing but that there are not so many as last time. But some at least FX xx

Scoobs nice to see you over here.
You are being entirely reasonable and cautious and normal. It's natural to temper your enthusiasm with a nod to what could, but is very unlikely, to happen.

Now everyone knows about us, and the bump is public property #1 I'm finding it a little wierd to cope with the fact that everyone else just takes it as a forgone conclusion that we will have a baby in December. They do look at me like I'm odd when I say, touch wood, or hoping all goes well. But bollocks to them frankly, that's the way I can keep sane about what's happening and happened.
Your MIL sounds out of line in my opinion, but, for those people who have never experienced any of what you or any of us have, they find the approach your adopting negative and alien. In her defence, she might only have been trying to cheer you up in a "good old fashioned, straight-talking too - stiff upper lip" kind of way. Can DH have a gentle/stern word with her?

And about your friend, I've got friends who have said similar things and think I've made a "fuss" about the whole TTC, m/c and nervous pregnancy thing. I've done some long and hard thinking about whether I can see their point of view, or whether in fact I value them enough to reason with them to help them see things from my point of view. 2 people I've decided to hell with them, and 2 it's been worth persevering.

Lara I'm in London on the 21st - can I gatecrash?????? please?!!!

Lara the northern meetup peeps started their own thread to discuss place and time etc-shall we do that too? I am v excited! 14th, 20th or 21st work for me. Somewhere central-ish would be good for me too as my train will come into St pancreas.

dachas sorry it's not as many as you were hoping for but will be willing those 6 on with all my might!

bigmac at your MIL-that kind of 'bad stuff only happens to other people' attitude really winds me up. I was very much like you too, still am internally but found it hard to deal with others' reactions as they took my caution as lukewarm enthusiasm about the baby which then gets even harder to explain.... One of the lovely ladies from the post grads thread gave me some fantastic advice to "fake it till you make it" so even though you're feeling cautiously confident, act as if you're 100% certain a baby is coming and gradually you'll talk
yourself into being more confident IYSWIM.

Sorry for the rant-this is one of my hobby horses, along with being adamant i dont want a baby shower but people seem to think that's a miserable and odd view to have too..... Back later when on laptop!

Haha St Pancras that is-stupid phone!!

Dunnit, dunnit, dunnit... started a London meet-up thread. Am so excited...!

Ladies - if you're able to join our London meet-up, please see the thread I just started in the pregnanct section (it has a pretty self-explanatory title).

Blackkat - you have to come!

It will be so wonderful to meet you ladies - you've been my lifeline for the past six months!

scooby - I'm completely the same and am given funny looks because of my touch-wood approach but don't care. It makes me feel better to approach it in that way. Poor you that you got it from a family member though...

Re movements - happymeal was very quiet indeed last week and then Friday night seemed to go banana's, booting the hell out of me. All quiet again now except I feel like I have something bearing down on my pubic bone. Which is nice. It's all so random isn't it?

Lara MrBigMac and I aren't rowing as such but there is definitely tension in the air. I am pushing him/us to start to get things sorted. He keeps saying 'but we''ve got until the end of November to sort things' which makes me snort like a sarky cow. We met someone on Saturday who had just given birth at 31wks. He is slightly changing his tune as a result but we continue to be fractious. You're not alone.

A couple of you have mentioned DtD - we tried last week for the first time since about March 15th and I had a bit of a panic and had to stop (now slightly as i'll see some of you soon!). Need to get back on the horse so to speak, but feel like I'm about 14 again and nervous. Am relieved to hear Lara that getting back on the DtD wagon will keep my fanjo in readiness for labour . Awful.

Bum - just realised you can't really scroll back without losing your message. Lucky I had copied...

Talking of bums, I will be checking mine for hair when I get home tonight!!

To everyone starting ML - hurrah and to those of you waiting for mini's to arrive - all is crossed...

It's my DD this Sunday coming so feeling a bit on edge. I've had a couple of cries over the last couple of days (I couldn't find some coathangers - serious stuff) and wonder if i'm sub-consciously building up to it as it's not playing on my mind all the time and I don't feel nervous. Odd. What might have been.

Oh, I forgot tot tell you all that I think I have a hairy bum now too! And I definitely have a hairy tum...!

BigMac - hoping the next few days bring you lots of strength. Dealing with impending DDs is really hard but I hope that when you feel your little Hapyp Meal kicking inside you, it all feels more manageable.