Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 7

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

New fred!

did the super moon bring any babies last night?

Losing a baby tigger fullstop is traumatic and painful. I think the slogan on the national babyloss is "empty arms, shattered dreams" which for me hits the nail on the head. I cannot comprehend the pain a much later loss or still birth can bring. dachs you are in our thoughts, and i truly hope you are finding the strength to somehow cope xx

Apples, everything crossed for you today. Hope all is well... like you say you have no control over when they arrive... but for you hoping he hangs on until tomorrow!!

Owl i am not bonding either, and i was wondering whether it was because i have not found out the sex...? Just think i am too busy!!

Had to have a frank convo with work yesterday... 1) too much stress and pressure 2) too much workload... 3) too many hours... led to complete and utter exhaustion over the weekend/tears and shouty mummy came back. Basically....fecking start to protect me from over demanding clients requesting all day meetings in london when i live in cheshire!!! All in all just a bit of a nightmare... but they have to do something now. The demand i was getting would string out a non diffed person, let alone someone who is 30 weeks (or there abouts!) Oh yes,, and still no risk assessment lol

Hello all. Thanks for all the good wishes. I may not be posting but I am lurking. Your support is appreciated! Heading home from the hospital tomorrow. No idea how I'm going to cope, but I'll have to try.

DH and I are going to go away for a little holiday together to try to work through some stuff, so I'm trying to focus on planning that at the moment.

Giving birth to babies I knew wouldn't make it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Definitely harder than my earlier loss. We had a naming ceremony for them yesterday and they are being cremated some time over the next few days. they were beautiful babies. Alexander looked just like his daddy and Felicia was going to be a very pretty little girl.

The doc thinks we should give ivf another go but right now I have no idea whether I'm ever going to be able to find the emotional strength to try again. I may have to face the fact I'll never have one.

I have everything crossed for all of you, and I'm looking forward to hearing all about all your babies.

Oh dachs I have been thinking of you and your family every day. I can't imagine what you've been going through or how difficult Alexander and Felicia's birth must have been. Even under such sad circumstances, I am glad you got to meet them and I think a naming ceremony was a lovely idea.

We had a cremation and memorial service for our lost baby and obviously it was incredibly sad, but it was such a beautiful service and afterwards I was so pleased we did it. Now, I treasure the order of service that I kept with his name on the front and personal poems/readings in it; it's a tangible acknowledgement that he was here, however briefly, and he mattered.

I'm hoping you find the same comfort from it, even if not immediately, and am wishing you all the strength you need to get through it and the coming days and weeks.

I imagine now is not the time that you feel like making decisions about future ivf; it's good that your consultant is positive about it but you have plenty of time to think about it when you're maybe feeling less raw. I hope that you and dh manage to find some peace on your holiday and afterwards and I will keep hoping that you will be bringing a baby home one day, when you're ready xxx

apples you must be on an emotional rollercoaster today; I hope you're coping and that your bean hangs on until tomorrow (although I'm sure if he's ready, he'll come whatever!). Best of luck!! x

And nix sorry you're having such a hard time at work. Please try not to let it get to you; it's not worth it. Keep being "frank" and if they won't listen get mw to sign you off sick.

Right, I'll stop monopolising the thread now, will check next time I've said all I want before pressing post

Dachs i have written to you on the FO room, thanks for finding the strength to update everyone, i cant imagine how hard that is to simply just find the words! Wishing you strength, courage and hope for the future and whatever you decide to do.

Much Love and huge hugs x

Izz thanks honey... but trivia in comparison :) should never have posted it really xx

dachs have posted on the F-out room thread.

Wishing you all the strength and love and courage you'll need to get through this xxx

Dachs I just can't imagine what you're going through right now. Thank you for updating us, i've been thinking about you a lot. Just wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain.
This seems so trivial in comparison...but no baby for me yet. Mw thinks it was my hind waters, as nothing since and no contractions...so it still could be any time in the next few weeks. Feel a little low, like my body's playing up again on the same day. Had a good cry with dh, he hadn't twigged the significance of the date but has been so wonderful since I told him.
Will try and do a proper catch up tomorrow, but wanted to update you all.

Dachs thanks for posting, I'm thinking of you everyday xxx

dachs thank you so much for posting-I have been thinking of you and hoping that you're ok. I think a holiday sounds like a lovely idea. Be gentle on yourself. Xx

apples sorry it's been a tough day, hope things get moving shortly.

Its good to hear from you Dachs, its really thoughtful of you to keep in touch with us with everything you are going through. A holiday sounds good for you and DH but give yourselves time and I wouldn't put yourself any under pressure to make decisions about future rounds of IVF at the moment. We're all behind you and when you need to talk, we're here.

Hope you're ok Apples and got through the day alright. I thought you were going to leapfrog me as well!

Dachs thank you for using your time and strength to update us, you're in my thoughts. A holiday sounds a great plan, and no need to make any decisions yet, just looking after and being kind to yourselves. We're here when/if you need to talk xx

apples sorry about yesterday and it's memories :( Seems like your lo just wanted to make it's presence felt to try and reassure you on such a sad day ((()))
too annoying to ask if there's any news?
Velvet not heard of pgp [innocent] but the physio reckoned I have SPD - worse than mild but not severe. She also recommended a gym ball, look quite cheap on NCT website
Moo your words about Dachs sum up my feelings far better than I am able, and thank you for the list wording it does our thoughts and feelings justice
Nix good call on changing the other list too, more appropriate. I remember Dachs starting the very first freak out thread :(
Izzy congrats on joining the list
Owl I bought a little something for miniorange last Sunday but then went into paranoia about it. It really doesn't end. Sorry to hear about bonding, I've started having one-way conversations when I'm alone which seems to help a bit
Nix I'm team yellow and have been wondering whether we should have found out to help bond. Sorry to hear about work, you've done the right thing and need to keep it up. Everything will seem trivial in comparison but there's a place for everyone's problems to help each other through

Like the everyone I feel that everything I post about myself is trivial. A few weeks ago a colleague patted my bump and said it's a gift you have in there, she's definitely right, I feel very lucky every day to still have miniorange cooking and moving about in there

Sorry, I really will try the little and often approach to posting

Dachs so very very sorry to hear your news. Take care and you and your DH are in my thoughts. x

orange pgp is like spd but it's round the back of the pelvis and in the hips instead of at the front. Have you had time off work for yours? I didnt sleep last night because I was in pain, went to work this morning and cried when someone asked me how I was so I'm back home again now. Not that it helps since I cant find a position which doesnt hurt whether I'm sitting, standing or laying down! I really dont want to be a wimp about being pg but I can't teach like this! Your comment about have a little gift in there has made me cry too.

apples I hope yesterday wasnt too tough for you and that miniapples is on his way soon

nix sorry you are having a hard time at work. I thought I was going to get a bit of rest next term because yr 11s are leaving on Friday but no, I have to take on a naughty yr 10 class who have had supply for a year because their teacher is off with stress! You should definately get your risk assessment done (I havent had one yet) because then they have to address all of the issues and document it so you can refer to it if they start getting too demanding again.

Izz I'm glad you've joined the list :) I was getting a bit lonely down there on my own. I'm glad we've got mummya there too.

I did have bonding problems until the past week (although I'm really trying not to get too attached just in case). minivelvet (I dont think s/he's a bean anymore??) is very wriggly in the evenings after I've had a bath/shower and am laying in bed so we have a good little chat then while DH is playing xbox downstairs.

phew I seem to have done an orange with the mammoth post!

just when i thought things couldn't get worse. i now have breasts swollen with milk. :(

Oh Dachs lovely. I am so sorry you're having to go through this :( I wish I could just give you a massive hug.

Dachs im so sorry and I want to give you a massive hug too. I really wish I had the words to tell you how gutted I am for you :-(

dachs I hope the hospital forewarned you that would happen so you were psychologically ready! Even if they had let you know what to expect I can only imagine how distressing that is, mother nature is cruel. Big big big love and hugs xxx

Oh Dachs that's awful. I believe savoy cabbage is meant to help and I think they can give you drugs to stop it.

dacha sweetie that is so cruel :( maybe worth giving SANDS a call to see if they have any advice? Xx

Evening all. Organge I think you do really well with your posts to include everyone, don't worry if they're long! Owl don't you be worrying about buying things, you absolutely have to start getting prepared and it WON'T jinx it.

Izzy its fab to see you here, its been a long old journey for you mate. Your post to Dachs was lovely, I'm sure advice from you and Louisesh who have been through similar tragic situations will be a help and a comfort to her.

Apples you've gone awful quiet? Wondering if there have been developments?

Dachs I can only echo what MamaP has said, I really hope the hospital mentioned this to you. It must be another painful and poignant reminder for you, hope you at least get some practical advice. I saw your posts on the freakout thread and was reminded again what an absolute treasure you are, giving advice and support to others. Makes me so sad and angry all over again at the injustice of such a wonderful person losing your precious babies.

I've pasted below what will be my last list (hopefully!) I'm off to be induced tomorrow so will catch up again on the other side with a bit of luck!

Wednesday's list

Tigerbear - baby#1 41+5 wks EDD 14th May
Caribou - baby #2 (DD, 3yrs) 41 wks EDD 18th May
appleblossoms - baby#2 37+4 wks EDD 11th June
crochetcircle - baby#1 37+4 wks EDD 11th June
LittleMiss - baby#1 35+5 wks EDD 24th June
Wobblewatcher - baby#2 35+2 wks EDD 27th June
urbanlolly - baby#2 33+1 wks EDD 12th July
Inbetweener - baby#3 32+3 wks EDD 17th July
Nickster - baby#2 29+4 weeks EDD 7th August
Owlbooty - baby#1 29+4 weeks EDD 7th August
PrettyVacant - baby#1 26+4 weeks EDD 28th August
OrangeGloss ? baby#1 25+3 weeks EDD 4th September
Wombat33 - baby#1 24+4 weeks EDD 10 September
Daisybell - baby#1 24+1 weeks
PinkFondantFancy - baby#1 22+1 weeks EDD 25 September
Tiggersreturn babies #2&3 22+1 wks EDD 26 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 22 weeks EDD 28 September
Emoo - baby#2 20+5 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 18+2weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 18+2 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 18+1 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 16+5 wks EDD 4th November
Izzy - baby #3 13+2 wks EDD 28th November

Waiting to join the list:
emmywoo
Purplehibiscus
Lucysnowe

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:

Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne with daughter Lotta Eliza, 8lbs 5oz born 20th April 2010
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May, 9lb 1oz
Meita with son Ianto born 23 August, 7lbs 4
Boodleboot with daughter Alice Elizabeth born 10 Sep - 8lbs 2oz
LeeWT with son Andrew Anthony born 28th Sept 7lbs 14oz
TFLS with son Charlie born on 30th September, 6lbs 8oz
SamB with daughter Ruby Mae born 19th October, 7lbs 10oz
Effilump with son Arlen born 16th October, 8lbs
Sarahlou8 with daughter Emily Isabella born 21st October, 7lb8oz
Unbuffy with son James Anthony born 3rd December, 6lb8oz
HappyGirl with daughter Ciara born 10th December, 8lb2oz
Malteser1981 with son Eli born 18 December, 8lb 6oz
Zayja with daughter Winona born 19 December, 7lbs 11oz
Sparklyrainbow with son Alex born 28th December, 9lb 7oz
GoodLuckBear with son James born 25th December, 8lb
BunnyBaby with son Daniel George born 5th January 2011, 10lb 1oz
AlbaDeTamble - with son born 10th Jan 2011, 8lbs 10oz
Gilda - with son Ren born 10th Jan 2011, 8lb 4oz
WestYorkshireGirl - with daughter Hester Rose born 14th Jan 2011, 6lb 4oz
Redheadgal - with daughter Cecily Anne born 13th Jan 2011, 8lbs 13oz
Toomuchteaching - with daughter Jemima Ella Phoebe born 17th Jan 2011, 8lb1/4oz
Dorcas111 - with daughter born 4th February 2011 8lbs 5oz
Clareanna - with son Tobias born 10th February 7lbs 10oz
Muser - with daughter born 15th February 6lbs 12oz
Ba8y1 ? with son born Tuesday 15th February, 8lbs 11oz
Lotta123 - with baby born Monday 21st February
Magic8ballhastheanswers - Identical twin girls, born 27th February 6lb8 & 5lb15
Northerngoldilocks - with son born Wednesday 16th March, 9lb 6oz
Stuffedmk - with son Thomas, born Wednesday 23rd March
Hopefully - with son, born 29th March 7lb 12oz
Lia - with daughter, born 1st April 8lb 11oz
PenguinsMummy - with daughter Clodagh
VivClicquot - with daughter, Phoebe, born Thursday 28 April, 7lb 5oz
Ivysedai - with son, born Tuesday May 2nd 3.83KG
Loopymumsy - with daughter, born Thursday 12th May, 7lb 15oz

In our thoughts and prayers:
Louise with daughter Georgie born asleep on 10th October
Dachs with her babies Alexander and Felicia who left the world asleep on 21st May

We share the pain and and mourn the loss with:
Jollster, Cheepz, Freezing, BarrenBrook, MsJL, LadyBee, Banana87, BatteryHen, HairyTriangle and Waterplate

Ooh best of luck for tomorrow moo!!

Oh Dachs that is cruel beyond belief :( I sincerely hope that the hospital warned you and you are getting the support you need. I want to give you big hugs and bring you hot chocolate and biscuits as I d x

Velvet I haven't had any time off but wouldn't think twice if I needed to. Can you not see a physio if you haven't already? You can self-refer where I am it's really helped. Sorry for being soppy earlier post
Moo thanks :) and wishing you a bon voyage and hope your next post is you telling us the good news

Oh Dachs that is cruel beyond belief :( I sincerely hope that the hospital warned you and you are getting the support you need. I want to give you big hugs and bring you hot chocolate and biscuits as I don't have the words x

Velvet I haven't had any time off but wouldn't think twice if I needed to. Can you not see a physio if you haven't already? You can self-refer where I am it's really helped. Sorry for being soppy earlier post
Moo thanks :) and wishing you a bon voyage and hope your next post is you telling us the good news

Dh out tonight so I have plans of getting into bed early and watching The Apprentice :)