Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 7

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

New fred!

did the super moon bring any babies last night?

jolls I'm truly sorry to make you all the time. But it did take me over 7 years to get here, so I've had lots of stress along the way...

Me three, I'm currently sat here bawling my eyes of at all your lovely baby flavour news, and so happy for everyone, and so, so, so that I can't feel anything like that or share in any excitement about my own bean.

Why can't I just be happy????????

Pink I'm sure it isn't gas, hopefully you'll get a good booting to confirm it. Random puking is interesting, I wonder if it's the hormone increase causing it

Dachs that is too too wonderful news! I'm just picturing them in those little playsuits with ears that you bought [cgrin]

Daisy wasn't your scan today? Sorry if I've got mixed up

No pg/bump envy, but no one else has told me they're pg. There are a couple of friends that have been trying for a while so really hoping they have some news for me soon

Thanks for the thrift faries, they should keep the jinx pixies away [csmile] I pulled a muscle this avo and overreacted, but think I'm calming down after being poked for the last hour [csmile]

Has anyone else experienced strong cramps from trapped wind? I was freaking out I was miscarrying already and then started trumping! I've read that drinking lots of water helps so now I'm off to pee every five minutes as well. Looks like I'm going to have to eat the blandest of foods from now on.

jolls you do make me laugh.

Can I just say ladies, I know it's hard and we are on this thread for a reason but I didn't enjoy my pregnancy at all, I was worried about mc/mmc/fetal abnormalities, stillbirth, etc etc. I felt and looked like a beached whale, I was uncomfortable and I moaned for England but I have to say I am so so sad that I'll never get to do it again. :( I wish I could have bottled those movements even though I hated it at the time, I look at preggy women (who are bloody everywhere at mo) and I am so I can barely look at all.

It's hard that our experiences have taken the joy out of it and I wish I'd tried harder to relax and enjoy it.

dachs what fab news, so pleased for you.

ivy hang in there. xx

daisy hope scan went well.

Orange yes it was my scan today - all was well with bean but my head's still screwed

Guess I'd better go on the list - could someone add me next time they update as I'm a bit of a dufus with numbers:

Daisybell DC1 20+1 weeks

aMuminwaiting I had the same - I was in soooo much pain one night I thought it must surely all be over, got up and had a walk around, did a mahoosive fart and all was better I've had it several times since, some of the ladies here recommended gaviscon for wind as well as indigestion and I pass on that recommendation.

Daisybell I'm with you on the head screwed bit. I can't even stand other people being excited on my behalf. I'm thinking of seeing a counsellor actually - have you dont that?

helloooo orange glad to see everything is good with you.

Hi Velvet yes, I've been referred by my CMW to a local counselling service but I'm still waiting for the appointment. I really hope something will help me get to the bottom of all this, because I can't carry on like this forever.

OH's worried sick about me, bless him, he's even promised to do all the cuddling/nurturing side of things if I can't, and will let me do the practical stuff - almost swapping roles, bless him.

Evening all
That's right orange it feels like a million years ago. Been following all you guys in the freakout room, it's not been an easy journey for anyone....no matter what stage you are at, worry and doubts are always just under the surface.
dachs fantastic news, I'm a twin(2girls) tis very special to have someone so close.
daisy love the thrift faries!
Another page to catch up on!!!

ivy Not sure about bump envy but def envious of carefree bumps.
velvet daisy hope you guys get some support, I'm still a bit funny about telling people I know and work with and can't deal with any questions from my mum & dad or other relatives etc it's really crap but it has got easier. Been wearing a tent like coat and carrying 3 bags to and from work to avoid any questions from neighbours bonkers!
daisy congrats on good scan did you find out the sex?
Off to toast some pancakes and cover them in butter yummy!

Daisy good news on the scan, did you find out what flavour you're having? What a lovely dh you have bless him. Could your cmw chase up the referral? I had counselling when I first got pg (after bleeding) and it really helped me

Velvet tis lovely to see you over here [cgrin] I'm only just starting to cope with other people being excited, I kept trying to subdue them but in the end left them to it. It's slowly getting easier

Urban you're right, I was looking forward to feeling kicks (which are awesome) but then worry if I don't feel any in a while. I woke the poor thing up yesterday with a bottle of coke and a bar of chocolate as it had been quiet for a while

I'm just calming down about my pulled muscle yesterday, but wonder if it's part of the bigger picture of my hip and groin hurting. Doesn't feel 'inside' so pretty sure it's just me not miniorange if that makes sense. Might bother the MW to set my mind at ease

Orange no we didn't find out, but I'm now wishing I had I wasn't in a fit state to ask whether the sonographer would note it down in an envelope or anything complicated like that so I think I've missed my opportunity.

This feels soooo awful to say (risk of flaming alert) but it does affect my head more if its one flavour rather than the other.... There's no rationality to it, but its a feeling which is there....

Daisy we'd pretty much decided we wouldn't find out, but I was so preoccupied with getting the ok, that I completely forgot anyway! Are you hoping for one in particular? You can't help how you feel, try not to be too hard on yourself. Could you have a private scan or maybe your cmw would understand and let you have another? Worst she can say is no...

Yes, I'm afraid I do have a preference. Not a rational one, of course, its just that one flavour freaks me out far less than the other. I realise that's awful though, and it sounds terrible, its just that black hole seems worse with one.

I've got a Dr's appointment this morning so will talk through all this with her. A further scan could be a good idea, I wonder what my chances are?

Morning all x

Wow, lots to catch up on. Sending lots of hugs to those of you who are feeling up and down, but also a massive yay to those if you with good scans - especially you, dasch! Am so envious of you being both Team Blue and Team Pink! :)

loops - you were up early lovely, any movements or twinges?

ivy - really hope today is your day. Sending you love x

jolls - fancy some cake?

xxx

daisy it's perfectly normal to have a preference - even after everything I've been through to get the pups in the first place I'm really glad one of them is a boy. I'd have been happy with two healthy babies of either flavour, but the thought of two girls did depress me slightly as I did really want at least one boy. No idea why, I just really wanted a boy.

jolls seriously tempted to wander in and slap you with a haddock for being so silly but I decided it was too heavy for a hormonal pregnant woman so I just made some extra scrummy cupcakes instead - take one [cgrin]

velvet, daisy I have found it really difficult to connect to the pregnancy and am still having trouble believing that I'm actually pg and will have babies - I've had no symptoms along the way and apart from wanting to eat all the time I still have none, and no bump, and I can't feel them moving. I was so worried that I wouldn't ever feel a connection and that I'd never feel that connection and that when that babies arrived I wouldn't feel anything for them that I sat DH down and told him my fears and that I was really worried. He was completely useless but at least I told him. I still feel those things but the more scans I have where nothing goes wrong the more I am starting to believe that this is actually real. And now I know what flavour they are I can kind of visualise them better. We decided names last night, and that has helped to make it seem real and maybe a little bit exciting. Scary, but in a 'wow, it's really happening, ' way rather than a 'run for the hills, it's terrifying' kind of way. I'm really worried about the 20 week scan and abnormalities, but I think having seen the babies yesterday I'm beginning to believe it might all be ok. I know you're further on than me Daisy and I hope the counselling helps you, but don't start desparing yet. . Not sure that helps or reassures at all, but I just wanted to let you know that I've been there and I think there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Have a good day all

Morning all!

Phew it's been busy in here! dacha I could squeeze you until you popped-you have completely put your finger on what my problem is, it's been driving me mad because I couldn't figure out why I've been feeling like I do about other people being pg, and you're right, it's envy of carefree pregnancies!! I had a really good chat and cry to DH about it last night and feel so much better now. Also in a rare flash of rationality I was thinking, would I rather be in my current position, 18 weeks pg after a previous MC, or 7 weeks pg with no MC? There's no way I would swap.

lia what you said really struck a chord with me too-I really think if I don't try and let go and relax a bit I'm in danger of ruining this whole experience for myself.... I don't know how to do it though, maybe starting up yoga again might help.

loops what are you doing??? Will you manage a nap today once DDs have gone out?

daisy it might be worth a chat with mummya - I remember her saying that she felt strongly that she was having a girl, and when she found out it was a boy it took some time for her to get her head around it. I second that it's worth asking for another scan, nothing to lose. Have you got a birthday coming up or anything? If so maybe you could ask for part shares in the cost of a gender scan rather than cards/prezzies?

velvet with you on the being freaked by others' excitement thing, but it is starting to ease off a bit now. My feeling is getting past the anomaly scan will be the big milestone for me, and if it goes ok I'm hoping I'll feel able to snap out of the denial and actually start planning for the arrival of a baby.

What is going on-I threw up yesterday morning, and am sitting on the train to London trying to hold in the vom now too!!! I haven't felt like this for weeks!!! [cconfused]

Big waves to everyone, sorry if I missed anyone, am on phone so hard to scroll up and down.

Daisybell great news about the scan. I know exactly what you mean about the gender preference. Before I had DS I thought boys=football, fighting, aggressive noisy play, boring clothes, blokiness etc., and therefore I'd prefer a girl. But it's not like that at all. When they are your child and you love them, and you are on the adventure of life together, developing their interests, you can steer them towards the good stuff and enjoy it together. Similarly if you are a bit freaked out at the thought of a girl, she won't necessarily become a pink-obsessed bossy princessy madam!! Remember it will be your child, with your genes and some of your personality, not a stereotyped generic boy/girl child.

Amuminwaiting the wind is horrible, isn't it. So much of it and it gets trapped so easily - if it's stuck low down it hurts, I have to lie down with my bum in the air to release it sometimes, or baths help. If it's stuck higher up it gurgles round a bit and works its way out in a huge belch, usually accompanied by dry retching and a bit of highly acidic vomit. Pregnancy is so glamorous!!!

When did everybody first feel their baby move? I've read it's usually 16-20 weeks, but I've been feeling small movements since 13 weeks. Very different from gassy movements, and my midwife says it probably is baby movements. I suppose post-mc pregnancy makes you hyper-aware of your body and every tiny twinge - has anybody else found they felt stuff very early?

Pink I hope you are managing to keep the vom in on the train this morning. I can just picture you hurling over a stockbroker's Saville Row three-piece!!!

My crazy-freak-out-ladyness came to a head on tuesday, following days in bed, close to tears or actually howling, and a panic attack in Asda . I went to see the midwife, who checked me out, found the heartbeat, talked about my worries and referred me to the additional support midwife. She also said that anti-depressants were available if I wanted them . Felt almost normal yesterday - it was DS's 3rd birthday so we had a lovely day playing with his new toys. I dropped him at nursery this morning and then nearly blacked out and had to sit down on the pavement to recover. So I guess there's still a way to go until I'm normal again!

Hope everybody is having a good day today!!

Glad your scan went well daisy, and sorry your still finding it hard to connect. Are you feeling any movements yet? I found when I could actually see the baby moving in my tummy it made it more real...after I reached the viability mark of 24 weeks (which for me, for some reason was a real milestone) I'd run a bath, and just lie there with my bump surrounded by bubbles watching it wriggling away. I found that really helped me 'bond'... it's totally normal to feel detached right now, it's your self-preservation mode kicking in. I second the girls idea for counselling though, hope the doctor is helpful this morning. [hugs]

woop-de-woop! dasch how exciting, one of each!! You have just the best excuse to do SO much baby clothes shopping now...

what on earth were you doing up that early loops?!

how are you getting on ivy?

poor pink with the return of sickness! yuck yuck. feel for you lady!

I'm doing much better now, still uncomfy..still find it a little freaky to feel what I think is the baby moving his head right down in my cervix...but am getting used to the feeling so it's not so bad. Lots of unpainful BH's too, which has made me aware that it's not tooooo much longer until I get to meet this little one, and i'm FINALLY beginning to get really excited about it. And it's our wedding anniversary today, so DS is off to a friend for the afternoon so DH and I can go out on our own. So that's lifted my spirits dramatically too!

Hope everyone else is having a lovely day too.

Thank you again for all the support on here, it means an awful lot

Dr was fab as always - she's going to make sure the counsellors are trained in the right stuff, rather than just being general ones, and I also came away with a couple of recommendations for push chairs!

She's worried about my 'black holes' though, but that's reassuring because it means she's taking it seriously....

Apple I'm feeling the occasional prod but nothing regular or particularly noticeable. Bean was moving on the scan yesterday but I couldn't feel it. Hopefully it will start to become more real when I can see the movements under the surface (although it will have to fight its way through quite a lot of flab)

Pink sorry you've been poorly! Hope you're feeling better. Thanks for the tip-off will message MummyA.

Cattle I get your comments about boys/girls. The ridiculous thing is that I know about girls - I was brought up as a very girly girl - but its the thought of a girl which freaks me out. I can't do girly stuff anymore and am far happier with cars/tractor porn... Maybe its my own uncomfortable feelings about having been a girly girl which are coming out?

I'm sorry cattle that you've been feeling so bad - I'm glad you're getting additional support, from a named person too. Will be thinking of you!

Dachs still very