sure start grant cut...i now have nothing for my unborn baby

[witter]

Hi everyone,,,
I'm looking for some advice as i dont know what to do anymore just as i get back on my feet something else seems to knock me back down.

Does anyone know is there any help out there as ive missed the sure start grant and now have nothing for baby due in april 2011.

I had to claim income support late last year as my partner left us and i was not working so had no income what so ever.
I have recently gone self employed and dont really have much income at the moment with starting up and everything.
I am due to have another baby in april 2011 but i have nothing i was told i could claim a sure start grant months ago but when i went into the jobcentre they said no first child only now.
I do have another child who is 1 year old but have never claimed this before as myself and partner worked before.
I have a few bits that baby could use but my son is still in his cot and only have his buggy now which i use for him as he cant walk the next baby is a girl so dont have mamy clothes either nether mind bottles, blankets, or anything else.
i really dont know where to turn next..i cant claim a loan because i need to be claiming benefits.
is there anything at all i could do??
thanks for reading xx

If anyone is interested, this is where I grew up.

read the third and fourth paragraph

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www2.warwick.ac.uk/fac/cross_fac/iatl/ejournal/issues/volume1issue1/paice/image_8_original_corporation_housing_now_derelict_in_lochend_road_easterhouse_september_2006.jpg&imgrefurl=www2.warwick.ac.uk/fac/cross_fac/iatl/ejournal/issues/volume1issue1/paice/&usg=__VG86KMGWsImt5GmmGYxLET-sBZM=&h=375&w=500&sz=32&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=nO0GHte-K-VnqM:&tbnh=173&tbnw=228&ei=EUxYTaTyKoGHhQf2sJjYDA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Deasterhouse%2Bpoverty%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-gb:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7ACPW_enGB402GB403%26biw%3D1201%26bih%3D654%26tbs%3Disch:1%26prmd%3Divnscm&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=516&vpy=365&dur=1478&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=169&ty=140&oei=EUxYTaTyKoGHhQf2sJjYDA&page=1&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">picture here

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=farm5.static.flickr.com/4070/4316027419_d9100cca94.jpg&imgrefurl=flickr.com/photos/47079914%40N06/4316027419/&usg=__3yQw8TIDtFiGAkPI-3u0dMvjNow=&h=352&w=500&sz=115&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=yVQlEXM0Ah2cbM:&tbnh=163&tbnw=228&ei=EUxYTaTyKoGHhQf2sJjYDA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Deasterhouse%2Bpoverty%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-gb:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7ACPW_enGB402GB403%26biw%3D1201%26bih%3D654%26tbs%3Disch:1%26prmd%3Divnscm&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=357&oei=EUxYTaTyKoGHhQf2sJjYDA&page=1&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=171&ty=93" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and here

Off to bed now.

Longwalk, that's a very thought provoking report. I haven't read it all but can see that it is saying that people who have no reason to get out of bed to survive will be more depressed that if they need to etc.

FWIW I watched a few friends getting pregnant young and struggling with money back in the late 70's early 80's and I wanted to do things differently so I can understand how your personal experience could drive you but you mustn't let that cloud you view of the world in general.

I grew up in very straightened circumstances myself. I worked hard to have a different life. I was the first person in my family to have O'levels, A'levels, go to college etc. I have a nice life now (in the material sense....I ALWAYS had a nice life, was loved etc). I was truly lucky to pass the 11+ and get to Grammar School - an opportunity that seems to be taken away from most bright working class kids these days.

Yes, I appreciate that you SHOULD wait to have a kids at a point you can afford them. But we are not all perfect. I could have made different choices in the past, and been in exactly the position of the OP. And so could a lot of us.

I do think though, seriously everyone can make one mistake but to end up with two mistakes is just making things hard for yourself, why was there such a hurry to have baby number, i suspect because with all the lovely grants available it didn't seem like a bad deal compared to the other options ie going back to work.
And you'd be hard pressed to find a bigger dump than I grew up in that combined with 2 idiots for parents but even I knew without passing the 11+ that having been poor, a child was going to keep me poor or make the situation worse.

Oh my gosh this is getting heated!

I popped back on here to see how OP is getting on and quite honestly I got a helluva shock!!!!

Lots of valid opinions (some more 'of this planet' than others - no names ) but ultimately this will not be helping witter.

Might I suggest that certain posters adhere to the very basic rule of thumb I use to raise my (not all planned but loved more than life!) children? If you've nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all!

This is getting seriously out of hand & the crazy thing is we are all (I assume) parents who would do ANYTHING to provide for our children...thats all the OP is trying to do.

Sadly we don't all lead a blessed existence, reality dictates that most of us are dealt a load of shite in life but still plod on!

So lets not judge her eh?

I agree clouiseg!

ty amberleaf!

I think you have scared off the OP. Not nice, considering her position.

well what a lot of speculation !

I'd loved to have known in advance that my exdp was going to leave me and my 6mth old baby.

Unfortunately when you are trying to concieve they usually don't bother....

How unhelpful.

If the poor op comes back to look at any of these messages which I suspect will really have upset her I hope that she will have the presence of mind to recognise others will not understand what they clearly have not gone through themselves.

Op please pm me and I have stuff I can send you.

Its a horrible shock at first you're not going to get the lump sum but maybe it will jolt your ex to buy something ? He may feel some responsibilty. Or maybe his parents ?

Just came back on to check if Witter had responded, I see she has not and I am not really surprised.

Longwalk everything you have said lierally disgusts me, you sound like a vile, vile person!

I got pregnant at 19, I was using the injection as contraception, had been with my boyfriend since I was 14 (still with 5 years on). Iwould suppose that you will think I am foolish/selfish bla bla bla but we have sacraficed a lot for our son and sometimes (like now) that does mean us being a lot 'poorer' than many people but as far as stability and love goes he has as much as any rich kid has! He is never without clothing, food, toys, days out etc but to me the materialistic stuff is a bonus NOT an essential.

My mum and my Dad got married at 16 after being together for 2 years had me at 17 (planned) then had my brother at 25 (with coil), my mum was SAHM and my Dad was a very highly paid sales manager, all very stable and it was obvious he adored his kids and wife and would NEVER abandon us.

Oh wait he vanished in 2002 fast forward 9 years he then turn up with another wife and step kid! My mum has been fighting with CSA for money for years because he scammed every single penny from her and I mean big time, he even had loans and debts all signed in my mums name. Anyway basically what I am trying to say is finances and 'knowing' your partner won't abandon your kids don't actually mean anything so pull your head out of your arse and get over yoruself!

I've been in touch and I think she's not coming back. Can't blame her. Woman tried to be proactive and get her life sorted out (including cleverly finding a bit of work via handbag making and Avon), and one or two people on here use her as a scapegoat for all society's reproductive evils. Honestly!

:( Well I hope that she manages to sort everything out.

I don't blame her either although I hope the OP will see the majority of people hoped to help hr and only the few are vile assumption makers.

How anyone can be so vile to a 7 month pregnant woman alone with a 1 year old child is beyond me.

Witter, if you do read this, my offer of the new baby sleeping bag still exists, but I will message you later anyway. I hope you're OK.

"I do think though, seriously everyone can make one mistake but to end up with two mistakes is just making things hard for yourself, why was there such a hurry to have baby number, i suspect because with all the lovely grants available it didn't seem like a bad deal compared to the other options ie going back to work"

Absolutely disgusting to refer to the OP's DC as 'mistakes'. For all we know she felt she was in a perfectly stable relationship prior to her DH leaving her. Just because she was a SAHM doesn't mean her and her DH were on any benefits or expecting any help. The OP has stated she was told since she split from her DH that she was entitled to the £500 grant, which she is now not.

Hindsight is always the greatest gift, people get themselves in situations, and if we can't pull together to help them move on we have no business claiming to be part of wider society ourselves. End of.

I am mindful of the example of the US actor Christopher Reeves shattering his spine in a riding accident and not being able to afford subsequent medical costs. No doubt people made self-serving arguments along the lines of "He is rich anyway" and "If he can afford to ride he can afford insurance" and "Riding is dangerous, it's his own fault" but none of this applied in his case anyway, and the world would be a lot poorer and sadder if we all obsessed about toal self-reliance and failed to step in from time to time when a fellow human being suffered bad judgement or bad fortune. If Longwalk's house burned down next week, for example, and she posted on here, I hope we would all help her rebuild her life too.

When did the £500 maternity grant be cut down to first child? I applied and recieved this last month for 2nd DS on the way.

It is for babies due on or after 11th April this year as far as I know. The poor OP was told some time ago she would get it, (after her partner left her, before that she wasn't planning on getting it),but, now been told she can't because her DC is due on the 14th April.

She has tried her best, started a business, grabbing at straws, trying to do everything she can to earn money, doing surveys from home and planning to do Avon, then several posters have scared her off by having a "philosophical discussion" (not directed at her, some of them said, but still upsetting for witter).

After 11th April, only first babies will get it, I mean.

Absolutely disgusting to refer to the OP's DC as 'mistakes'

Bad turn of phrase.
To find yourself with one child and up the creek without a paddle is bad enough, to have 2 children for the rest of the working population to support in such a short period of time rings alarm bells for me. If it's such a stable relationship then there's no need to rush into 2 children so close together, if however you know from day one the bloke is a "cock lodger" and what you are getting from the arrangement is a meal ticket along with the sperm then you need to get on with things don't you.

I am thinking a sympathetic midwife might be able to review dates for her, especially as dates are only estimated anyway (we should have a 'due week' really as that is how it works statistically).

A midwife wouldn't do that, Boffin. It's fraud and a striking off offence for certain should it be discovered.

Can I reiterate though that the OP IS entitled to the Health in Pregnancy Grant and that due date cut off for that is the SIXTEENTH OF APRIL.

Well if she got referred for an extra scan, then her dates could be reviewed and an earlier rather than a later one chosen. It's not a fraud as there is no possible way of predicting exactly which 24h period a baby will be born in unless it's a planned cs, and the whole dating process depends on a women reporting menstrual dates, set against an 'average' cycle length and certain growth patterns of the foetus, all of which are prone to variation.

I think you need to ask your midwife about the sure start grant. I got it and baby is due 8th of April this year. I got £190. YOu dont get £500 unless your unemployed and have not worked I think? Im not sure? Have you applied for maternity allowance? If not get a form form the job center I think its a MA1 of download from dir gov site and type in materninty allowance.

It would be fraud as there is a defined and accepted way of ascertaining a "due date" for legal purposes (e.g. telling work your due date, being eligible for grants, that sort of thing) - from a scan performed during 11-13.6 weeks or by Naegeles rule from LMP if such a scan is not performed. This is separate from the obstetric definition which is anywhere from 37-42 weeks and of course due dates are actually a load of nonsense, as you say. However, it would be fraudulent to muck around with the legal due date and put the new due date on a form designed to obtain money if the original due date had been ascertained in the accepted way.

What happens if it becomes completely apparent that the date was out by quite a long way then? If there's a biggish discrepancy between scan and reported dates and fundal height, etc?