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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

sure start grant cut...i now have nothing for my unborn baby

268 replies

witter · 12/02/2011 13:19

Hi everyone,,,
I'm looking for some advice as i dont know what to do anymore just as i get back on my feet something else seems to knock me back down.

Does anyone know is there any help out there as ive missed the sure start grant and now have nothing for baby due in april 2011.

I had to claim income support late last year as my partner left us and i was not working so had no income what so ever.
I have recently gone self employed and dont really have much income at the moment with starting up and everything.
I am due to have another baby in april 2011 but i have nothing i was told i could claim a sure start grant months ago but when i went into the jobcentre they said no first child only now.
I do have another child who is 1 year old but have never claimed this before as myself and partner worked before.
I have a few bits that baby could use but my son is still in his cot and only have his buggy now which i use for him as he cant walk the next baby is a girl so dont have mamy clothes either nether mind bottles, blankets, or anything else.
i really dont know where to turn next..i cant claim a loan because i need to be claiming benefits.
is there anything at all i could do??
thanks for reading xx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:00

Firstly, I'm not at all trolling! Why is it suddenly considered trolling to have a different viewpoint from the majority?

Secondly, I disagree that my POV is borne out of middle class ideology. I did indeed grow up in a community far more deprived than most on MN could imagine. Empty tummy and having to wear charity hand me down shoes. If it did anything, it made me damn determined that I wasn't going to have children in such circumstances even if that meant not having them at all.

We didn't wait to have 'more time to ourselves'. We waited until we were financially secure. Not only with savings but housing and enough insurance to cover most eventualities.

So trolling...No! The very reason I feel the way I do is because I've actually lived it.

BoffinMum · 13/02/2011 20:01

Children are not some sort of designer lifestyle accessory to be coveted after you have had 'fun' and 'saved up', as for a car or flat screen telly or boob job.

Children are people and they come along in all sorts of circumstances. And they should be made welcome when they do arrive. On this thread, that is exactly what we are doing. If you don't like that, start another thread.

Portofino · 13/02/2011 20:04

And I am nice MCish professional person, whose DH is a Mensa member. We went on holiday, drank too much Limoncello and now have a 7 yo daughter (completely unplanned). Is that acceptable?

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:05

Not sure what you mean by designer lifestyle accessory or waiting until you've had fun!

You can have children whenever you want as long as you can afford them. We had to wait 10yrs because that was how long it took to be financially secure.

Portofino · 13/02/2011 20:08

I am guessing that if I had gone to Butlins, drunk too many Bacardi Breezers, and ended up in the same situation, it would NOT be. I should have known better, cos I is poor.

adamschic · 13/02/2011 20:08

Longwalk, how do you mean afford them. Do you collect child benefit and if so why. Do you use private schools and health care etc because you shouldn't have had them if you have to be a drain on the public purse should you!

captainbarnacle · 13/02/2011 20:09

OH and I got pregnant 5 years ago when we were both out of work and living in a caravan by the sea. When DC1 was 5 months old he got the first proper job he was offered and left me to work 3,000 miles away for 48 weeks a year. I am very lucky to be a SAHM, even if it means being a single parent with no family support for 90% of the year.

5 years later and I'm 15w pg with DC3.

People's circumstances change - for the better, for the worse. People need help and support when they ask for it, to empower them to get to the next level by themselves.

Portofino · 13/02/2011 20:10

And what would you have done Longwalk, should you have found yourself accidentally PG at some point before financial security was achieved?

AppleAndBlackberry · 13/02/2011 20:11

You can get supermarket brand bottles for around £2 if you can get to a big store and a couple of packs of sleepsuits for £10ish.

Some good suggestions about freecycle, ebay, etc for the bigger bits and also worth applying for the HIP grant.

I'm also wondering if you might be able to get a crisis loan or some other kind of grant (home-start???) but you would need to get advice about that.

Very surprised at all the people saying you should get a job at 7 months pregnant with a 12 month old! Hope you can weed out the constructive advice and I hope you manage to get everything you need.

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:12

Not sure what your point is?

I have 3 children. The third was unplanned, we weren't as careful as we should have been. But if I was poor, I'd have never put myself in that position. Before we had kids, I was on the pill and insisted DH use condoms. Of course there is a tiny chance both would fail but when both are used properly that chance is negligible. All I am saying is that before we could afford kids, we did everything reasonable to ensure an accident didn't happen.

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:15

Adamschic, we collect CB and that same exact amout goes out via direct debit to a charity we support.

Yes, all 3 of my children are in private education and we have private healthcare tyhough not sure why that is relevant.

I still pay my NI, quite rightly as it is my responsibility to do so, whether I need/use it or not.

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:15

Sorry for typos.

adamschic · 13/02/2011 20:16

Longwalk, the point that people (I'm) trying to make is if you hadn't both had good jobs that put you up the career ladder and were never going to be able to improve your income would you have decided never to have kids and is that what you think other people should do?

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:19

If I (we) felt we couldn't have afforded them then yes, I would not have had children. That would have made me very sad but I could not have a child and expect someone else to pay for that child. Nor would I subject that child to the sort of poverty I grew up in.

adamschic · 13/02/2011 20:19

X post but would still ask the same questions. Fortunately we don't all have to wait until we can afford everything private as the state believes that schools, healthcare and basics should be provided for by the state, well it has for the past 60 odd years.

adamschic · 13/02/2011 20:20

So people who aren't as wealthy as you don't deserve to have children, and you are a teacher, please tell me your not.

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:23

Yes and I agree with that totally. I have no problem with mine and DH's significant taxes being used to fund state schools even though we don't use them because that is what a civilised society does.

I'm not suggesting or promoting the idea that the OP should be left to starve etc. People in the OP's situation need support absolutely.

That doesn't change the fact that lots of couples/women go ahead and have babies without due thought given to how they are going to support them.

MoonUnitAlpha · 13/02/2011 20:23

All those selfish poor people having children! Bring back the workhouse eh?

earwicga · 13/02/2011 20:24

So longwalk, if you aren't advocating enforced abortion, you are advocating that women don't have sex until they have enough savings to meet with your approval. No contraceptive method is 100%. None! Also, they must have a way of seeing into the future to ensure their partner is perfect.

Don't you see how ridiculous that is?

Portofino · 13/02/2011 20:26

I do hope that your child benefit money goes to a UK children's charity if you are so affluent that you don't feel the need to put THEIR money in the bank FOR THEM. It is their money. You have no right to give it away IMHO.

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:26

I didn't say anything about being wealthy. I said planning and saving before heading into the world of parenthood.

Lots of young parents who are struggling worked from 16, lived at home and spent all their money on going out and nice holidays etc. If they thought they wanted children in their 20s why not miss that holiday away one year and put that £600 in the bank?

Portofino · 13/02/2011 20:30

So you didn't go on holiday then, and saved all that money?

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:31

Actually, you are wrong. CB is not the child's money. It is paid to the parents to help fund the upbringing of that child.

And yes, we do support a UK children's charity and, not that it's relevant, but we also pay the same amount into savings plans for each child.

Of course no contraceptive is 100% but using two very reliable methods together means the chances decrease significantly.

longwalk · 13/02/2011 20:33

We rarely went on holiday and we saved and saved. But you cut your cloth, do you not?

earwicga · 13/02/2011 20:33

Well, not everyone is as smart as you are longwalk. Enjoy your sense of superiority. It'll come back and bite you in the end. Meanwhile, I know my self-worth, and it certainly isn't the same as your thoughts about me. Vile stuff from you on this thread.

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