sure start grant cut...i now have nothing for my unborn baby

[witter]

Hi everyone,,,
I'm looking for some advice as i dont know what to do anymore just as i get back on my feet something else seems to knock me back down.

Does anyone know is there any help out there as ive missed the sure start grant and now have nothing for baby due in april 2011.

I had to claim income support late last year as my partner left us and i was not working so had no income what so ever.
I have recently gone self employed and dont really have much income at the moment with starting up and everything.
I am due to have another baby in april 2011 but i have nothing i was told i could claim a sure start grant months ago but when i went into the jobcentre they said no first child only now.
I do have another child who is 1 year old but have never claimed this before as myself and partner worked before.
I have a few bits that baby could use but my son is still in his cot and only have his buggy now which i use for him as he cant walk the next baby is a girl so dont have mamy clothes either nether mind bottles, blankets, or anything else.
i really dont know where to turn next..i cant claim a loan because i need to be claiming benefits.
is there anything at all i could do??
thanks for reading xx

I suppose the OP wasn't expecting her partner to leave her......... We are TTC and if my husband left/died while I was pregnant then I would struggle too and be reliant on benefits, as I suspect alot of us would.
So I don't really think it is fair to ask OP how she planned to fund the next 18 years.

The Sure Start Maternity grant used to be for every baby, it has recently changed so you only get it for the first baby.

The Sure Start grant is the one I meant.

I know several people who have claimed 2 or 3 times for this. I thought this was the one you meant.

It is being cut down to first child only AFAIK.

My mum claime this for my twin sisters (her 3rd and 4th child) in 2005 and a few friends have claimed for their 1st and 2nd child and one of them has claimed it for all 3 of hers.

Your baby's father needs to pay for his children. When did you split up with him?

I would also be pretty fucked if DP left and refused to pay anything, so having a go at the OP for being pregnant and poor is shitty

No one is having a go at her. But her apparent acceptance that her ex partner will play uncle Dad when he feels like it and not pay a penny is not good enough.

Call the Tax Credits Helpline on 0845 300 3900. If you take employment, even if low-paid, you should be entitled to help with childcare costs as well as working tax credits.

MoonUnitAlpha: just looked it up: when it acquired the Sure Start label, it was also extended to every baby. My apologies. In then decades it had existed prior to that rebranding, it had been first baby only, so it's being returned to its previous position.

Like expatinscotland, I would like to say something about that as well... Well, not about being ill in particular, but about the whole thing.

Breastfeeding is not easy and in favour or against, for practical reasons or no, BF does not always cut out bottles. If it doesn't work because of the hospital, if you get cracked nipples, inflamation of the breast, if baby does not want to drink, you will need formula. You can better get prepared for it with your bottles and what not than think that that is the solution to everything.

At any rate, if people are recommending part-time jobs, which may be necessary to suport your family, how do they expct OP to breastfeed without bottles? Take the baby to her job? Right, express, of course. Fantastic, hello bottle! Ok, no formula, but halfway there almost.

And a sling... Can you picture yourself permanently carrying a three kilo (and more) wait on you shoulders, plus pushing a buggy while going shopping for your weekly groceries? I don't think I would get down to street without turning back due to pain all over. I think that is unrealistic in the long run. A small child of two can't walk a great distance and you can't carry a 5-10 kilo wait for more than 1 hour and that's pushing it.

The baby is bound to need a cot at some point so sleeping in the big bed is not a permanent solution either.

Get the father to pay maintenance. Surely, there is someone you can ask about even suing him (for free)? Otherwise the man is not worth the name 'father' and then he should quit seeing 'his' son.
And, yes, Ebay and other free websites, clubs. Maybe you could exchange your single buggy for a double one?

Good luck though.

Georgie I highly doubt that the OP has just decided that she will cope with this on her own rather than have her Ex around. I am pretty sure she will have fought to sort it out but we don't know or need to know the back story!

It does seem like she is being spoken down to for some reason!

op, have a look on freecycle or local paper for a cot.

pop an ad in your local post office or newsagents requesting one?

what are you living off? how are you paying rent?

can you contact the csa to chase your ex.

it must be bloody miserable and overwhelming to be facing this alone, and at the end of the day you were expecting the £190.

No reason why you can't carry a baby in a decent sling for hours

And although breastfeeding doesn't always work out, it's sensible to aim to breastfeed as it is cheaper and healthier. There is evidence that breastfed babies get ill less often than formula fed babies, though of course they still get ill!

The older child will outgrow the cot eventually, so a couple of years down the line the OP will need to buy a bed, but a new cot isn't a necessary expense right now while things are tough.

her acceptance that her ex won't play dad isn't acceptable !!!!???

If he is on bens she won't be getting a sodding penny out of him. If he's working he sounds like he wouldn't exactly be up for offering his money. She the op knows if he is going to help or not, she accepts this, she can't make him do jack. She is looking for ideas and support maybe?

sheesh

Piratecat - the grant was £500, you're thinking of the Health in Pregnancy grant which was £190.

ominolap - the Sure Start grant was payable for subsequent babies til very recently.

Its all very well for people to say the father should pay - yes, of course he bloody should. But many many absent fathers do not, and in fact will go to great lengths to avoid suporting their children. The CSA is a slow and frankly incompetent organisation, and there's not much a mother can do to force her ex to pay up if her refuses. The one thing they could use as leverage (access to the children) is almost universally condemned, especially on MN. So telling the OP her ex should be helping is pointless. She can't make him, she has to just make the best of her situation.

That said - baby stuff doesn't have to cost much.

Breastfeed, or if not possible use cheap
bottles and boil them to sterilise. Milk tokens will pay for formula.

Buy a sling. Thats all you need to carry the baby until your son can walk or use a buggy board.

Clothes are cheap enough second hand. And so what if its a girl - she won't grow a willy if you dress her in her brothers cast-offs you know

A moses basket or travel cot will do for the first few months, or you could co-sleep.

Blankets - well how many do you need? One will only be a couple of pounds at most second hand.

Queen - see my previous post: it had been first babies only, briefly became all babies when rebranded, and is one reverting to the status quo ante.

You don't know he is on benefits. And again if he is, I struggle to see how this child was to be funded. If he's working the CSA will deduct his money at source.

Support is all very well - patting people on the head and saying "there there" isn't actually helpful.

I've been supportive, anyway:

• entitledto.gov to find out what she can get
• CSA to extract maintenance for children
• freecycle and charity shops for equipment

If the older child is 1 she must have got pregnant when he was four or five months old, so I'm not at all clear why knowing this she didn't keep the stuff she had for the first baby. A four or five year age gap and it's more understandable to have got rid of baby equipment.

I claimed the sure start for my youngest DS it was £100 and had been for some years. It went up a month after I had him.

And the trouble is the CSA don't always want to get involved like they used to. And when they do its rarely the ones that actually need help.

When you are in that position, you need someone to help, not talk down to you as though you have committed a crime. And is does sound as though she is making plans for the future financially. Being left on your own with a toddler while pregnant is no fun and things aren't always as clear as they will be when time goes on.

X posted.

It was payable for second/etc babies for at least 8 years though - I know when I had DD in 2003 friends claimed it for their second baby.

Little confused but the sure start vouchers are they still just for the first child only? Or is that the £500. Reason I ask is my healthy start vouchers state on them that you can still get them for subsequent babies.

OP forgot to ask how old is your son in terms of years and months?

I only ask because my son went into a bed at 2 with a bed guard would it be possible to buy a cheap travel cot and save up for a bed for him that way you are reusing what you have and buying more long term stuff?

WRT to bottles the Boots/Tesco ones are good and I think they are only £10 for 6, just boil or use Sterilising fluid in a large tub to sterilise or if you have a dishwasher you can use that.

If you don't fancy a sling the Graco Stadium pushchair is a decent cheap pushchair with back seat fully reclinable.

kikibo I carry my 12 kg dd in a carrier everyday, and go shopping regularly.
a good sling or carrier (I am talking ergo or similar) can be bought at a good price at auction sites.

at the judgement on this thread. And I agree with everything kikibo and piratecat have said.

OP all I can suggest is find out what you're entitled to, look on Ebay for bargains and check charity shops too- some are crap but I recently got 1 towel, 6 vests and 3 baby grows for the grand sum of 3 quid. And they're all lovely now they been washed. Baby wont care if it's puked and shat on second hand or not.

That's what I keep telling myself anyway as I'm doing things on the cheap with DC2 due to me giving all of DD's stuff away and being a tad skint this time round.

My husband was made redundant 2 months before we had DD - so we were in the same position as the OP. It doesnt take much for peoples circumstances to change - no reason to judge.

OP- try freecycle or NetMums for things in your area. We get quite alot of wanted ads on ours.

Or do you live in a town with a credit union - you could get a small loan from them and pay it back a bit at a time without the massive interest rates you get from door step lenders.

There are other ways of making a bit of money online - surveys, cashback sites and review sites can all help you make a bit extra.