sure start grant cut...i now have nothing for my unborn baby

[witter]

Hi everyone,,,
I'm looking for some advice as i dont know what to do anymore just as i get back on my feet something else seems to knock me back down.

Does anyone know is there any help out there as ive missed the sure start grant and now have nothing for baby due in april 2011.

I had to claim income support late last year as my partner left us and i was not working so had no income what so ever.
I have recently gone self employed and dont really have much income at the moment with starting up and everything.
I am due to have another baby in april 2011 but i have nothing i was told i could claim a sure start grant months ago but when i went into the jobcentre they said no first child only now.
I do have another child who is 1 year old but have never claimed this before as myself and partner worked before.
I have a few bits that baby could use but my son is still in his cot and only have his buggy now which i use for him as he cant walk the next baby is a girl so dont have mamy clothes either nether mind bottles, blankets, or anything else.
i really dont know where to turn next..i cant claim a loan because i need to be claiming benefits.
is there anything at all i could do??
thanks for reading xx

But the money (from the taxpayer remember) is meant to BENEFIT the child. If you don't need it, you should probably have not claimed more than one lot (to preserve your pension benefits).

You take money from the taxpayer - hard working people - and give it away. That is not right. Sorry. I guess you will be losing it anyway, so this a bit of moot point.

I don't feel superior either because I have more money or anything else.

Being well-educated and having more money does not make me any better than those who have none.

I don't see why so many people have a problem with me saying we didn't have a baby until we could afford one and it would be better if more people felt the same. I'm not suggesting those on minimum wage expect to be earning 50k or don't procreate. I'm saying they could wait a while, be sure their relationship is stable and put a few quid in the bank. What is the problem with that?

And why is it vile? I have not once advocated the OP should get herself to a workhouse or starve or told her 'tough, it's your own fault.'

But I do advocate being sure about the moral standing of your partner before having a child with him and trying to save a bit beforehand too.

As I said, my DH could well bugger off and leave me but I know absolutely 100% that he would always support and care for his children.

Put a notice up on your local freecycle, and simply say that you need X items for your coming baby.

there are many people wanting a clearout.

Well Portofino, maybe it's not right but I feel the small, local charity get far more benefit from it than anyone would if it stayed in the government melting pot.

And yes, we will lose it soon but I'll keep up the DD as I know how much the charity benefit.

How on earth can you 'be sure about the moral standing of your partner'?

I am not foolish enough to believe my partner would never ever leave me or my children. There are no guarantees in this life!

And actually, I have no problem with losing it. It is ridiculous that it is paid to parents like us. Everyone I know just puts it into a savings account for their children. So in effect the government is funding savings accounts for more affluent children.

Longwalk, that was your choice and well done to you, really, I'm not being sarcastic. I think the OP was banking on a substantial amount of money to help with the basics and needed advice about how to cope now the funding has been pulled. It isn't helpful to tell her she should have planned for this earlier, she didn't know. No-one and not even Longwalk would want to go back to the days when babies slept in drawers.

OP hope you can act on the good advice.

There are plenty of women who had children with fuckwits, and there are plenty of women who had children with nice, repectable men. I have read loads of threads on here.

In the event of a split, the nastiness is not reserved for the women YOU think made bad choices. In fact, odds are the nice respectable bloke will hire an expensive lawyer, make out you are mad, and try to gain full custody.

I am not joking either. Judge and ye shall be judged.

I didn't have money to save or to spend on expensive holidays before I had a baby - should I just not have had him?

As I said, I'm not foolish enough to believe DH would never leave me either. Of course that could happen!

I do know with every bit of me that he would never, ever abandon his children.

He MIGHT try to keep them, and get rid of you though. It happens.

Hi Witter

Haven't got time to read this whole thing so apologies if I simply repeat what others have said.

I was in a similar situation when pg with dd1. It feels hideous, and you can feel v vulnerable when pregnant. Take heart! There will be tons to go round out there.

Secondhand cheapest places I found were car boot sales and jumble sales (e.g. babygros 10p/20p). Charity shops now vary hugely in their pricing, suss out your local cheapest ones.

But free things are best. I second the recommendations for freecycle and netmums, I've had some amazing free things posted to me through netmums. I gave away our toddler bed through Freecycle. See if you've got a local secondhand baby stuff shop near you - they'll often give away less fashionable travel cots/pushchairs that have been donated.

Really, newborns need very little. A bundle of babygros, nappies, milk and a happy mum.

Agree with those on here who are giving you recommendations for crisis loans/social fund loans. Go for EVERYTHING you're entitled to, your little ones will no doubt pay tax later. Local charities can be amazing, too. I got help from a national charity for a while, I'm glad I wasn't too proud to apply. It took so much pressure off me, and made the world of difference to my DD's life.

I also endorse the comments about leaving your business on the back seat til you feel ready - there's such a thing as taking on too much.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Keep posting on here as things progress and tell us how you're doing.

My advice OP is find a solicitor that offers legal aid and give them all your children's fathers details and ask them and CSA to go after him, that is the only way you are going to get through this is to make him pay, the tax payer is not going to raise your children.
Inflation is rising and benefits are not so you'd better empty his pockets of what is rightfully yours asap before these kids grow up and get more expensive.

longwalk - stability and money are obviously things you value very highly. And you are now lucky enough to be in a position to hold both.

Yes, it is luck. You worked hard for it - but you have been lucky in that you have kept your physical and mental health and a steady job and a solid relationship.

Life doesn't work like that for everyone. And not everyone values money in the same way that you do.

Porto, I read some of the threads and think that, actually, mine was always going to just have one parents income and love and wasn't really conceived as a condition that a man was going to support us so is very special.

And yes, I have had some much appreciated help with ctc and child benefit and a little more but it's all relevant to Longwalk getting CB and the unemployed single mum on HB, IS and the rest. Didn't get anything until that last government came into power and gave me the wonderful help they realised most of us need to bring up the next generation be they cleaners or doctors. Da Da!!!!

or try the CAB to get free advice too. they should be able to help too.

Adamschic, I think if people on here knew me and knew where I came from they would perhaps understand that my viewpoint comes from growing up in real, dire poverty. Thus meaning that however much I love my children, I would have gone without rather than enter motherhood with any chance of ending up in the same situation.

As for the OP; she has my sympathies. If you read back, I have not once slated or berated her personally. I hope she gets the help she needs.

PS If you want to be more proactive (and have everything washed and folded ready) then post a message on Freecycle and your local Netmums, rather than waiting for the right things to come up. It may just restore your faith in the world...

Captainbarnacle, I don't value money in the slightest. I do value the stability it bring however, yes. I am not in the least bit materialistic but I sleep better knowing I have enough to pay my bills.

So anyone who grows up poor and has kids then is a lesser person than you longwalk because they didn't make the sacrifice you would of demanded of yourself.

Longwalk, I'm sorry to hear about your upbringing. I cannot imagine how that felt as I haven't had a similar experience. I do think that a poor upbringing has a lot to do with the parents rather than how much money people have. If a parent puts there childrens needs first then they will always be OK.

Witter - I would go with all the other posters in suggesting 2nd hand and contacting the jobcentre, I won't repeat them all as you've already got them. I wish you the best of luck my sweet, you will work it out and it will feel all the more rewarding for getting there without a man in tow - regarding CSA, by all means try but don't expect to much, i spent 5 yrs trying to get something, anything out of my DS1's sperm donor, each time he either claimed he was self employed making a loss or failing that went straight on to benefits, cost me a fortune phone calls, think i spent more than i received in the end.

Longwalk - I'm very pleased for that you seemed to have acheived all you wanted in life, and all in the 'right' order. Unfortunately life doesn't always pan out quite the way we would like it to. I for one certainly didn't plan mine the way it has turned out, it's all good now but it's taken a long time, and for the record I have 3dc's and my DH and I have been together for 7 years, had we waited to have been together for 10+ or to have enough savings we wouldn't have had the younger two as there is a 19 yr age between us, he will be 50 next April and wouldn't want to be having children at that age, so should we not have had them?
I hope for your sake and that of your children that you continue through life in the fortunate position you are in now.

I haven't suggested anyone is 'lesser' than me.
I do think more people should give it more thought though, yes. That's my viewpoint which you are entitled to disagree with.

I think I shall bow out of this now as we are going around in circles. It is becoming personal towards me which is in complete contrast to everything I have posted which has been completely philosophical.

Adamschic, thank you. Goodnight ladies.

Longwalk night night.