Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

that's so disgusting. i hope you're able to sort something out about this and get more answers as to why they didn't want to check you over properly straight away. i've now emailed the pals team and hopefully i will get some proper feed back this time as i too feel that something needs to be sorted. i need to get over what happened, i try to block it out of my head but some weeks it hits me that we nearly lost the most precious thing in our lives and since this pregnancy it hasn't stopped. i'm not after any money in doing this it is just to sort it out in my own head, i know lots of people who'd be after compensation but i just need the hospital to let me know why it took them so long to get a paediarician to look at my daughter and i want them to try to prevent this from ever happening again. hopefully we will both be able to get the full answers. thankyou for also sharing this with us, it must be so hard but it really has made me realise that something does need to be done in order to try to get over what happened to our family.

All these medical blunders do make me worry. Slinkstah, your situation in particular because I know at QC hospital you can be seen without an appointment if you feel something is going wrong.
There are ways to get the right attention, unfortunatly you have to speak to right person, and A&E is always full of junior doctors who dont really know what they are on about.

Coathanger. DS is not too bad, he got over that bout of Gastroenteritis. However he still complains of stomach pains. they are not bad, but they are regular. I know sometimes he is putting it on, (like when he doesnt want his dinner) but other times he really is having a tummy ache. We went to see a Peadatrician last week, he also cant find anything in particular wrong with him. Has diagnosed 'recurrent abdominal pain of childhood' ( a real conditon apparently) and said it would probably go away by itself. I am not convinced. We have another appointment in one months time.

Hi Cori
I was reading something about a condition called 'abdominal migraine' today in Woman's Own. (I have a friend who works there...that's my excuse, honest) It's like a headache migraine, in that it can be triggered by stress, lack of sleep, or something you've eaten.
Slinkstah, , reading your post, big hug to you.
KK, how terrifying for you & your family. Do you go to the same hospital for your antenatal care?

no we don't, the hospital has a bad reputation around here anyways and i gave birth in the liverpool women's hospital (which is where i have to go again as they have a fantastic genetics part in that hospital), this is another reason the hospital didn't like me being there with dd. however because of catchment area with the ambulances they had to take me to this hospital. this hospital also has a programme on discovery home and health about the a and e department and it makes me so angry. firstly they make the hospital look loads better than what it is and secondly i can't watch it incase i spot the nurse who was laughing outside the cubicle blaiming my dd's health problems on me being a young mum trying to bf. i really do hope for her sake i never see her again.

cori - i hope you get to the bottom of your ds's health problems soon.

Slink- {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} darlin'.
There has to be an independant body that you can discuss these notes with (someone who's knowledgable in medical matters). Does your hospital (or any other) have someone like that that you can talk to? Here's hoping you can find some answers soon hun x

i don't think i have the energy for solicitors etc, and don't think theres much else to do. there investigation was over months ago, and just concluded that it was probably infection that caused preterm labour, no one can tell me for sure which came first the labour or the infection.
well after reading the notes i have more questions about this pg, i read about the advice in my notes for a next pregnancy which said cervical scans and regular swabs, i am at a different hospital and the dr that gives me the scans keeps saying rubbish like you are one of the lower risk women that come here etc etc which just makes me mad as she has no idea what risk there is, my consultant wanted me to have a stitch in my cervix and the dr who scans my cervix keeps banging on about how i don't really need them! im so frustrated! i wish drs did not have different opinions about things and keep telling me their opinions as fact.

However so far the cervical scans have shown no real change so thats great, although maybe i should ask for swabs too. i wish i was seeing someone sooner, especially as i feel unwell and have uncureable thrush again! ooh and i had a low blood pressure kinda attack the other day where i almost passed out, was lying down at the time! i did my bp and it said 70/35 which is very low. maybe i should go in anyway and demand swab/blood tests or something to rule out infection. although will probably get strange looks as i was only there last week.

KK - i know what you mean about needing some closure to it, it's normal to need answers when you feel let down by medical staff. The pals people will be able to give the the best person to write to about it.

cori- did not go to A&E last time, just went to the maternity hospital. the antenatal care there was rubbish though, i was only seen twice and it was a complete production line.

sorry have wrote an essay again

don't worry about writing an essay we all want to read it and be here for you. this is bound to make you worry more about your current care and pregnancy, don't worry about asking for swabs and bloods to be done you have every reason to now. i don't see why they won't put a cervical stitch in, even if you don't need it this time there surely can't be any harm in having it put in just in case. i would be so angry and hurt by all of this, these days people listen to most of the time when i tell them dd needs looking at as i have reason now and so do you. can you speak to your mw as well to see what she thinks is best for you? she might have a bit more of a voice in the medical front then you and it's worth having somebody else fighting for you. also i had bad thrush in pregnancy with dd, i got told it could be from something i was eating setting it off but never got to the bottom of it. i was using pessaries every other week and cream daily.

1st dr i saw said there was no need for stitch, 2nd dr said the same, 3rd dr who is the prof boss consultant recommended i had the stitch, but i was 17 weeks by this stage and risks of operation were higher than if stitched at 12 weeks so decided to leave it. Hope i made the right decision.
dp has suggested that i go to gp to ask for swabs etc. i have never met the gp before so i might try and go tommorrow, it may save embarressment on turning up at antenatal again.

on the thrush thing, i sat there last night with natural yogurt down there not a pretty sight! i did a pessary too. i have cut out mushrooms, marmite and white bread and am trying to cut down on sugary things but this i harder all i want to eat right now is cakes

Slinkstah, that BP sounds really low. I would call someone if I were you.
I cant believe the maternity hospital were going to turn you away. [angry[
Arabica, I have heard of 'abdominal migraine' I think it is similar to what DS has. I am going to start him on probitotics soon. Worth a go.

Morning Ladies how are we all?

slink ca you show your mw your notes to show your anxieties etc? And definitely get your BP checked out.

Had some worrying news yesterday could be out of a job soon..not the best time to be out of work don't know how we going to get by and worrying so much about things and making ends meet. I keep thinking who will employ a pg lady?

nikki - do you have to tell a new employee that you're pg? it has really come at an awful time for you but you will get by. will you be get redundancy pay? that would really help you out right now. even if you don't many people cope in your situation there's help out there for you and you should take it if you need to.

nikki - do you have to tell a new employee that you're pg? it has really come at an awful time for you but you will get by. will you be getting redundancy pay? that would really help you out right now. even if you don't many people cope in your situation there's help out there for you and you should take it if you need to.

oops thought the first message wasn't sending!

thanks kk - you don't have to say until 20wks before due but problem is if I get a new job now then announce I am pg..after probabtion period they could say don't want you (there reason pg but they can find a way getting around the law) so then not in redundancy situation and no money at all coming in for a while which we can't cope with. Will have to suck it and see, its only a matter of time here so will sit it out for redundancy been here 11 years! Will have to evaluate situation then when it happens...just not what I had planned for our first child.

Afternoon all,
sorry for being miserable yesterday. i am now just feeling grateful i have little boy inside
he didn't sleep last night until 3am and i couldn't sleep through the kicks, i wouldn't have it any other way, but was wondering if any of you have had kicks that are uncomfortable, he was kicking very low last night and felt like he was kicking on my cervix and it didn't feel very nice.

cori- probiotics seem good idea for ds
FN- bp is usually fine just have weird low bp "attacks" occasionally. i will mention it to mw when i see her.
sorry to hear about your job, i tried looking for work when i was pg with my ds and it was impossible, maybe tax credits can help and you can enjoy a nice break before baby arrives

Hi all. Big appologies for not beening around for so long. Have been moving house and coping with taking out a grievance against my boss. Big sorry.

Slink.
I have a boy and yes he kicks low down and yes it hurts but like you I wouldn't have it any other way. But our lads are opposite ends in terms of sleeping. Mine gets up at 4.00.
Am also suffering from thrush but absolutely can't stand natural yoghurt. Makes me want to heave. Apart from giving it to little one (which after 10 months of bf thrush with dd2 is not a small "apart") there's no other way that thrush would hurt little one is there? I've asked repeatedly anyone who's come near me from gp to midwife to consultant and they've all said no. But am still nervous.

Hi wills
was wondering where you got to!
moving must have been stressful whilst pg!

thats funny about your little man waking up at 4 and mine going to sleep at 3. although if my boy sleeps from 3-7 when he's newborn that won't be so bad, i remember my dd and i don't think she slept more than an hour throughout the night.
how many weeks are you now wills?
i asked my consultant about thrush the other day and she says its all fine so i am trying not to worry too. i did read on the net though about a very small risk of acsending infection causing chorioamionitis (membrane infection) however this can also be caused with normal vaginal flora too. so its a luck game, which is what pg feels like to me anyway lol
what is it with thrush and pg? i have had it monthly now and it takes time to shift, as soon as its gone its back! before pg it was yearly attacks if that.
blinking THrUSH

in the summer i love to eat strawberries and natural yoghurt (sorry just got me thinking of it!). i can't wait to feel my baby kicking, got a while to go but it's such a lovely feeling and so very reassuring. has anybody heard from hk? she had her scan at 9.30 so i thought she'd be on here by now.

Oh I'm so with you on the thrush thing. Thanks for clearing up the risk factor. Its been seriously worrying me for a while now. The problem is that I'm slightly allergic to canestan so the treatment is not just messy it hurts - I have a burning pain for a couple of days and its uncomfortable. Then I go off have a good old worry that somehow the allergicness has weakened everything....

Am now 25 +5. Desperate to get to 30. I can still remember being desperate for 12 and then 16 and then 24 and now I've moved the goal posts again and am desperate for 30. Oh well. I really don't enjoy pregnancy wish I could. But I do adore the good outcomes.

So how far are you?

crickey kk hope HK is ok, have been so self obsessed i completely forgot it was her scan today!
HK where are youuuuuu?????

Wills- being allergic to canestan must be a nightmare, i think you should bath in natural yogurt!!
i am 21+1, desperatly trying to get to 22(last time things started to go bad) then 23(had last baby) then 24(viable baby party). then goalposts will move furthur apart and next goal will be 28 weeks(90% chance of survival) then i think i might chill out and visit mothercare

omg idea alert whooopwhoooopwhooooop!!!

i think we should arrange a meetup before we all have babies and after everyones major milestone- if thats poss! we could have a group baby shower or go shopping or something. or we could keep it less baby related and have normal meetup and invite the ttc after mc gals too

have i gone loony this afternoon - must be overdosing on canestan!!

I like the idea of a meet-up, I've had so much support from this thread, it would be good to say hello in person. I'm in London, where's everyone else?

meet up sounds good, i'm live near liverpool.

helloooo I am in Leicestershire

wonder how hk is?? hope she is ok

We're all over the place! meeting up might be more complicated than we thought!

I'm in London and love the idea of a meet up. I didn't know the 28 week thingy. So I've just got to shut my eyes tight for another 16 days. Its awfully sad to be wishing life away like this.