Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

kreamkrackers, I feel for youI was there yesterday (bad coldtick...stomach painstick...fed uptick!) Am also sick to back teeth of the constant paranoia & worry that I have lost the baby. And the constant overeating that goes with it, so on top of it all I feel fat & ugly as well!!!!
So was v inspired to hear that Slinkstah feels good in new jeans. I will definitely take a look in Top Shop maternity if on Oxford St. I want a flattering maternity wrap dress I can wear over trousers--anyone seen one anywhere? Pref not made of polyester.

KK- good luck with mw tommorrow

HK- can't remember last time i was a size 10, am gonna try my best to get back there though after this pg.

Arabica- a new outfit will make you feel much better, i saw loads of wrap dresses on oxford street, can't remember exactly where, but they look well funky over jeans

have just realised something too- i have an antenatal appointment in 2 weeks which is half term!!! its also the same day i have to take my daughter to the same hospital for her eyes, anyway i can't cancel antenatal as i need a perscription for progesterone! its quite possible to make both appointments. but it will mean i have to take the kids to my antenatal which means i will have to tell them the news that i am pg! i will be 22 weeks and really wanted to wait til 24 weeks as if anything goes wrong i don't want to hurt them again. do you htink i should just tell them at 22 weeks or try and find some way of prolonging it til 24 weeks?

Slink - your kids are of an age where if you take them they'll know, aren't they? is there no way DP can have half a day off? or someone else have them for a few hours?
It is totally upto you what you tell them, but if you're not comfortable letting them know at 22 wks the don't feel like you have to i'm sure someone would help you out, you know i would if i were closer.

You lot have chatted far too much for me to catch up on.

Wishingchair - so sorry to hear about your nana, what awful timing, please don't see this as a reason for things to go wrong. I my family we believe that one person makes way in the world for another, and when my mom was pregnant with me, her grandad passed away, and when i became pregnant this time, my grandad passed away, as emotional the loss is, I saw this as a positive sign to my pregnancy, my grandad has made space in the world for our new baby. Your nana will be watching over you and this baby now, you have nothing to fear.

Arabica - i had quite a few aches and pains early on in pregnancy, lots of stretching pains. It is totally normal, but if it is worrying you, then it is well worth getting it checked out for your own piece of mind more than anything, the baby needs you to be calm and happy, so calling the midwife and asking to be checked won't do any harm at all.

sorry if i forgot anyone else, hello to you all.

Morning ladies

kh- good luck at the mw apt and scan

MrsM - I would try liquorice

Slink - what is a belly band?? Can someone look after your children whilst you go to the apt?

Diddle - such lovely words for wishing chair and you have a lovely outlook on life.

well still full of cold. re: sex my dh put a ban the day we got bfp and he is adamant we will not be doing any bd'g until after the birth...could be a long pg dh let me tell both sets of parents yesterday but we aren't telling anyone else my dad said he knew cos I had changed shape already in his eyes. So baggy clothes until the scan. 7 weeks on friday so just over 2 wks for my milestone.

good luck with the milestones everyone! xx

Yes, what is a belly band?

Slink, I know your dilema. Ds was quite young when i had my miscarriage but it still affected him. I also know he is a bit worried about this pregnancy too ,even though I am long past my milestone. If you have to take them I think you could tell them that the hospital are taking special care of you and are giving you special medicine to stop it happening again. In reality is there anymore likely hood for something to go wrong at 22 weeks then at 24.

In an ideal world I wouldn't have told my DS yet (I'm 14wks) in case anything goes wrong, but someone blurted it out in front of him when I was 12wks, so that was that. TBH he knew something was up anyway, he's v observant for a 4 year-old and had noticed mummy wasn't going running any more, yet my sprained ankle was better!

Diddle, I really do think I'm just being paranoid, the midwife I saw at booking in said they wouldn't even look for a heartbeat until 16wks +, so if I am still concerned then, I will give them a ring. The pains aren't getting worse, I have no spotting, and I have the sorest boobs in Stoke Newington, so am trying to chill out, look after myself (got horrid cold)and summon up the enthusiasm to do some work!

The thing is if your only symptom is aches and pains all the hospital will do is look for a hearbeat and check your cervix, which doesnt tell you why you have the pain in the first place. If you have bleeding as well though that is a different matter.

you are never gonna believe this- i had a nap!!! dd is home from school with a temperature and we both fell asleep for a few hours- don't tell dp he will think i am really lazy

i am surprised my kids haven't asked about my belly yet, they are not very observant im huge now!
i think the only difference between 22 and 24 weeks is if baby was born at 24 most hospitals would resusitate as baby has 40% survival rate at 24 weeks, i wish i could wait til 28 weeks before telling anyone as then baby has 90% survival rate
anyway i think i will tell them at 22 weeks it will mean the whole world will know then aswell as my kids will blab to everyone at school and within a week i will have random kids and their mothers and teachers telling me that they knew it etc

belly bands are those boob tubes to be worn around bump so you can wear normal tops and still have your bump covered.

Hiya all.
Had my booking appt this afternoon. Bless her, she came to our house instead of me having to go out to the surgery which was handy because I've got that cold that's doing the rounds (luckily not as badly as ds1 had it). I'm having shared care with the mw & obsterician (because of recurrent mc and a premmie birth). It's great as this consultant is the same one that will be doing my endo surgery after babba's born.
Hope everyone is well. xxxxxxxxxxx

glad mw apt went well kh and that they visited you - nice to see you are being looked after

slink good luck telling the children. The belly band sounds a fab idea, I am going to look for one cos my tops are already riding up my belly! thats at almost 7wks so going to need a tent soon!

HK - so pleased its all gone well, fab news.

Slink - have you had a growth spurt now? you were worried you had no bump before. You wait till people start rubbing your belly, you'll wish you didn't have your bump then.

diddle - my bump has grown dramatically since the meetup, i can no longer fit into my normal jeans i love having a bump its great, i dunno if i'll be saying that when people come and rub it in the street though, i bet thats all you get in the school playground eh? will send you a bump pic when i take another one

HK- so glad your booking went well, thats great you are being shared between ob and community midwife, sounds like you will have best of both worlds.

oh good slink - glad your jeans don't fit, was getting very jealous. I'd love to see bump pic

the stupid mw appointment wasn't a booking in appointment! there was 2 other couples there (i went by myself as dp had to look after dd) and it was just to explain what happens in pregnancy. i was so annoyed i only went through it 20 months ago and they made out on the letter like it was a booking in appointment and again over the phone (but it was actually worded your first antenatal appointment which i assumed was a booking in appointment). i had to get dp to get the morning off work which was a total waste of time. so my real booking in appointment is 23rd feb.

hk - good news about your mw appointment, hopefully you'll be able to relax a little more now knowing you are getting the best care.

omg KK thats awful, i would have asummed the same. was it for 1st time mums, kinda thing? i bet your dissapointed to have to wait until 23rd, shouldn't you be seen sooner than that?

i'll be 9 weeks then so i'm glad it's not too far away. it wasn't for first time mums as one of the other couples had a 2 1/2 year old, but both the other couples assumed the same as me. i had my wee sample in my pocket i wish they could've told me it was just to give pregnancy info out as i wouldn't have gone. i didn't learn anything new it was a waste of an hour and it cost £7 in taxi fare there and the same back as it was out of the way which i thought was weird to not have the booking in appointment at the doctors but was told on the phone things have changed. it's good for first time mums or for women who've had a long break between children but not when you've recently had a baby.

oh kk sorry you have had a wasted journey to see mw. That is not on, I hope they will alter their letter in future, can't they see you any earlier than that? You would have thought that she would have booked you in anyway.

Morning ladies,

I have a question, I woke this morning and yesterday with like a pin prick pain intermitant on the outside above my navel and on my right side lower abdomen a sharp pain inside when lying on my side has anyone else experienced this so early on (nearly 7wks) I am wondering if it is just how I am sleeping (I usually like to sleep on my belly so doing my best not to do this now as it is uncomfortable.)

Firstnikki - can't say i have experienced this during pregnancy but i have experienced it before. I often used to get the feeling as though needle had been stuck in me, was very odd. I don't think it would be anything to worry about, but if you're concerned it is worth getting it checked out, just to be safe.

Think I have had this, too, but only once or twice. I think in my case it was trapped wind (am having a lot of problems with that lately!) My complaint today is I just bought a gorgeous Vertbaudet top from ebay in a size 16 and it is TOO SMALL!!!!! Just how big are my boobs gonna get?

FirstNikki, I hope that doesn't read like I am trivialising your stomach pain, it wasn't my intention. As Diddle says, if it's bothering you, do get it checked out.

arabica don't worry you didn't. lol at the boobs..mine have just started to rise

tbh I slept on my left side last night and used a pillow between my legs cos my hip joints have been hurting (kept waking up though but will have to get used to that) and I didn't wake this morning with those pains so I am putting it down to sleeping on my right side and almost stomach. Thanks ladies for you support

How are we all today ?

yeeeaaah, my doppler has just arrived just got to wait for a few weeks now to use it.

Hi everyone. Not feeling too bad so long as don't look in mirror at huge chest. 15 weeks today! I thought I felt the baby move last night-ooh! And maybe just felt it again!but maybe just wishful thinking, it is still v early to feel anything, especially with the amount of padding I already have.
Am meeting friend for lunch. She is desperate to conceive, so I am bringing lots of my best quality baby dust for her, and will try to be sensitive and not blurt out how ghsatly pregnancy can make you feel!