Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

Will keep my fingers crossed for you all

Xena, I am 5 weeks 1 day as well. My 'due' date is the 4th of May. I take yours is the same?
Had a few aches and pains today which felt like period pains, a bit distressing.
I recieved a letter from the hospital today. I was quite excited, I thought it was going to be offering me my first scan, Instead it was an inviting me to memorial service for babies that have been lost though miscarriage and stillbirth. I really dont feel I can attend. Am feelign quite down now.

Cori you sound like you've had the same day as me hopefully all these aches and pains are normal. I can remember telling the doctor who I called out to DS when I was Pg with DD1 that my tummy ached and he said it was my ligaments streching.. i can't imagine how my ligaments can strech anymore? Yes I think thats my DD TBH i haven't properly worked it out yet as I don't want to tempt fate.

What was the date of your last AF Cori mine was the 28th July? Boots calc gave me the 5th May?

Xena and Cori- I've been having aches and period type pains too! (I'm 6+2 now) I remember at my first visit to the midwife when I was expecting DD2, she said that I might notice more aches and pains than I had with DD1, and it was just all the ligaments stretching again.
Doesn't seem like anything to worry about before a mc, but after one it seems like with every ache and pain I'm fearing the worst!

Hi all. I miscarried at the end of last year and am now 33 weeks pregnant. I was absolutely petrified throughout the first half of this pregnancy - I bled for six weeks from week 10. Then my 20 weeks scan diagnosed a minor fetal abnormality and that took over as my main concern. Over the last few weeks I have become increasingly anxious about stillbirth; every day I get myself into a state because the baby isn't moving enough, or kicking with enough vigour...

I am loving being pregnant, but I do worry constantly. I'm sure this is true for every woman more or less, but I do think that having experienced miscarriage (and, in my case, a long struggle to get pregnant at all) really robs you of confidence in your body's ability to protect and nurture a baby.

Ditto Xena, last AF was 28th of July. mmm I will check the boots calculator. GP said 4th May.
And according to Fertility friend I most likely concieved on the 11/12th of August.

I'm fairly sure we concieved on the 12th by my calcs it should be the 4th too, I think that Boots one makes you 40+1 but thats not what doctors go by. Doc says she will get me an early scan on the 22/23 sept (8wks)
hester and petunia its hard on the antenatal boards isn't it you don't want to scare the others.

I put on the TTC thread that I am trying to view this pg's as 5 steps
1 Was getting pg
2. 8wks
3. 12wks
4. 24wks
5. Bringing home new baby

Yes, Xena I am trying to break it down to those sort of milestones as well. I think for me it will be
*8 weeks
12 weeks
16 weeks ( when I found about last m/c)
20 weeks
27 weeks
38 weeks ( will probably have ceaserean at this time)

Xena and Petunia, I think if the three of us are having similar aches at pain at this stage it probably does mean it is normal and to be expected.

Hester - Getting to 33 weeks seems like such an achievement to me at this stage. I never had even considered the possibility of a stillbirth before- it seems so rare. But there are quite a number of women on here on have had them.
I love MN and the support here is pheonemal, but MN sheer scale does mean that everything can possibly go wrong has been experienced by somebody.

Hello hester: Don't know if you will remember me from the TTC threads of days gone by but I am so happy to read that you are 33 weeks. I know that you are concerned about your little girl; she seems like a fighter though. Do you find that you are counting every little movement? I was really worried with my first pg as he just wasn't very active (even according to the experts) but he was born healthy and hasn't stopped moving since. Have you spoken to anyone about your worries?

Hi Nemo! Are you still worried about this baby? I know that you have been having a hard time lately. I'm sorry.

Cori: thanks again for starting this thread. I agree that it seems like a very good idea to take it in small stages. I am really hoping to still have a heart-beat at my next ante-natal appt which is in 4 weeks! I will be 17 weeks at that point and have only had one miscarriage beyond that point. I think that I will relax at 20 weeks but as hester pointed out sometimes you just acquire more to worry about at that stage as well. I don't think that my heart or body could handle another pregnancy after this one so I will take it one day at a time and pray that this baby makes it.

Xena, Petunia, Withchild and Cori, too: the pains you describe sound very familiar. I hated feeling like every twinge was an impending miscarriage. I hope that the next few weeks fly by so that you are feeling more pregnant but less ill, dizzy and crampy.

Trollprincess: I am so pleased that you had an early scan and saw a heartbeat. What a huge relief. On to the next mile-stone.

beag: I would imagine that the next 15 weeks will be really hard for you. I feel so sad that you lost your daughter last year and don't have any answers. It sounds as if you are receiving adequate care but I sure know what you mean about only feeling better for one day our of seven...

Sweetheart: Not too much longer to go before you have that baby in your arms. Are you feeling lots of kicks to reassure you?

I am glad that we can all post our worries here and know that we are not going to be judged. It is not easy to remain positive when you have lost a baby.

Do you mind if i join in.
Some of you on here know me.

I found out I was p/g about four weeks ago. As soon as I fell p/g was put on heparin, progesterone and aspirin. I have previously had 4 m/c. I am a patient at the recurrent m/c clinic at Queen Charlottes. Went in four wks ago for a womb measurement scan and told them I was p/g. I went back last tuesday for a scan. Prof says fetus still quite small. I could not look. He did not seem worried. He mentioned that cos a/f was irregular it could mean I was only 5weeks not 7. On Thursday nite had lite brown sticky d/c. Fri. morn,called EPU. He snuck me in as he knows me from prev. m/c. He did a scan and basically said the same as prof. He did not seem too hopeful though. I asked for HCG bloods and he agreed. Had one yesterday and having another tom. I have a further appointment with prof. on tuesday. I am really quite worried. They have told me and dh that there is nothing wrong with us. But there must be. Why would this be happening if we were ok? This is all driving me insane. I am trying to stay positive but just can't. I hate to be so negative but I just can't help myself.

SORRY.....

Hi Peepee,
I saw your post on the April thread. I wondered what was going on.
I am glad to see you are at QC,I had DS there. At least you know you are getting the best care possible.
If they cant find anything wrong with you, then why are you on all these drugs?
Are you still getting the discharge, did you have this with previous M/C?

Oh peepee, I am so sorry for moaning... I didn't know that you were having trouble with this pregnancy. I was lurking on your thread about aspirin and heparin because I am also taking a low dose of aspirin daily in the hopes that 'sticky blood' might account for my miscarriages.

I really hope that your scan tomorrow brings good news. Thinking of you.

Cori, they have all been different. I have had the brown discharge b 4. I have no idea what is going on. I can only wait and see wot they say on tuesday. I have to pop out to QC for HCG test this morning.

DH and I have spoken about the possible outcome. This is going to sound awful but I am worrying more about my holiday on saturday than the possibility of m/c. I have gotten used to the fact that m/c is what happens to me. Dependant on the result on tuesday I may ask if they can fit me in for the op then and there rather than wait. I can't bare the thought of it happening whilst on the cruise or even worse on the plane home. God, can u imagine it....flying back from New York whilst m/c.
Sorry, I am being soooooooo negative.
X Thanks for listening guys. x

(((hugs))) peepee for today good luck honney, hope everything goes well for u.

hi Cadmum; lovely to hear from you . Good to hear your little boy was a bit sluggish in utero as well; my baby is too, though she is moving very regularly and I am trying to keep calm and focused on this as being normal for her.

Peepee - so, so sorry you are going through this. I am at Charlotte's too; agree that you are in very good hands. Don't feel you can't be negative with us - you are going through hell and need to be able to talk about it.

I have started to m/c again. DH was upset. I was upset earlier in the week as I knew something was wrong. Though this sounds odd I feel releived that the m/c has started.

I tried to stay positive for DH. I don't know how long we are going to keep this up for. In one year to date I have had five m/c. I really want to keep trying but DH says he feels so much guilt watching me go thru m/c as it is something he cannot control or help me with.

Ladies, I really hope this does not worry u. Remeber my history b 4 u start to worry yourselves. This has happened loads of times to me. U guys will all be fine, I am sure of it.
Enjoy your pregnancies.

I suppose I will go over to the m/c thread now and in a few months will be on TTC thread.
Thank god for all the support on here.
Thanks for everything.x

Oh peepee, I'm so sorry. Don't know what else to say but I'm thinking of you.

hi all
sorry kept missing thread.
cadmum still very worried but get such a beating up from insisde constantly its like the baby is saying its alright mum I am here..lol

Cori I have sold doppler because of the baby moving so much, also I am now 25wks so need to be more positive about the baby without the paranoia and lastly we really needed the money. I would recommend getting one from aroun 10-11 wks as its well worth the money for the reassurance, i was listening to baby 2-3times a day. Then it went to once a day when baby first started moving and now its only every couple of weeks which i will be seeing the mw for anyway.

In terms of my personal goals for this baby I had
8wks -had scan for viability
12wks
15wks -when told last baby had died
20wks
24wks

I havent set any goals after that so dont know what that means..lol

hugs to everyone on here.

peepee im sorry about your loss, I just saw your other thread and have no advice only hugs (((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))

Peepee I'm so sorry xxxxx thinking of you

peepee,

so, so sorry. You sound like you are handling it very well.
Take care
sh xxx

Peepee: sorry to hear about what's happening. But one thing that I tried to bear in mind after my third miscarriage in six months: in a way I'm very lucky that I can get pregnant so easily - because at least I know that the basic equipment is working and (on a practical note) I minimised the time it took to get a referral to a fertility / recurrent miscarriage clinic. Same with yourself: you're basically very fertile - you just have to figure out how to make them stick.

Also - it doesn't necessarily mean that the heparin / aspirin therapy doesn't work for you - just that it hasn't worked this time, perhaps because of an unrelated chromosomal problem in this particular egg/swimmer combination.

It's an exhausting business, though - and I would take a wee while out to get very drunk and eat lots of food that would be verboten if you were still up the duff: lots of blue cheese and real ale for me between conceptions.

Try and enjoy your holiday.