Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

how many weeks are you FN? i heard baby at 9 weeks, it was nice to hear the whooshes and bumps before that.
Arabica- lucky to have huge bazookas, mine have grown but i am still not a size bigger, and my dd nicely pointed out today that one was larger than the other!

i am feeling a bit unwell, i am really praying its the virus thing everyone seems to have had recently and not the start of labour. labour started last time with a small illness at 21/22 weeks and i am 21 weeks now so i feel panicky and like life is playing one sick joke on me- if i going to be poorly why does it have to be now!

slinkstash - you are just ill and it's bad timing with what happened last time. everyone's getting ill at the moment please try not to worry. remember each pregnancy is different and this one's going to stick, keep the good vibes flowing. take things easy at the moment it's hard enough being pg but being ill as well is just horrible. i keep worrying because i keep getting ill and only in the first trimester which can't be good but really most women out there don't go 9 months without getting ill and 99.99% of the time nothing happens to baby. hope you feel better soon.

big hug slinkstah!

Enjoy your lunch arabica

Slink I am 7 wks on Friday so not long until I can hear something but might play with it tonight to see how it works..maybe listen to my own heart What kk said is true there's this cold/flu bug going round like wild fire, I have had a cold for over a week now and it started before that too and I know plenty of people who have got it too. you will be fine I am sure just rest and get plenty of fruit, veg and water down you. xx

KK how you feeling now have you got better?

i'm starting to get over my cold, still waking up needing to cough stuff up and blow my nose but then it clears up for the day. dd is starting to get a cold now, just hoping that it doesn't turn into a chest infection as even very mild chest infections put her in hospital this pregnancy has made me overly tired this time but then i keep waking up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night cos i have to go to the toilet and get a small drink of water then find it hard getting back to sleep.

KK glad you are feeling better with your cold, fingers crossed dd doesn't get it. x

Slink - don't you get worrying young lady! this baby is here to stay, he'll be busy growing away, you stay calm and enjoy

well, this morning i had a cuppa decaf tea (my usual) and it sent my teeth sensitive and metallic then tried my decaf coffee and it did the same...looks like I may be going off tea and coffee..having said that I am pleased 'cos thats more signs of a progessing pg

sorry just had to share that with you

thanks guys i am just feeling sorry for myself. i am just getting so close to the hurdle things are a bit raw.
sounds like everyone is sick- i plan to do nothing for a few days anyway, i have thrush again aswell, thats 4 times this pg, i have read on the internet it could be due to iron deficiency so its spinach for tea tonight -urghhhh!

try not to worry too much slink (easier said I know)...your hurdle will soon be here and gone and you will be able to relax more.

Hello ladies, I am cream crackered, after a knackering week so far, i went to relax andf put my feet up after work, and ended up in hospital with DH. Not for me, baby and I are fine. DH this time, who is also fine now. We were there until just after midnight, which is definitly way past my bedtime, we hadn't even had time for tea. Plus my first child arrived at 6.50 this morning, i am soooo tired, i cant believe how long hospitals keep you waiting!!!!!!

We did see a very pregnant lady on her wzay to maternity looking very stressed, and her dh trawling behind with the bags. That will be all of us one day soon, hopefully at a more civilised time

I need a nap, wonder if i ever get one.

Diddle - hope you get your nap
I seem to spend my life at present wonderig where my next nap opportunity will be!
Better believe it will soon be you trundling in there with your hospital bag!!
How's dh??

He's fine thanks spub, the GP just sent him for routine tests, she just chose a busy time to send him, was rather busy at the hospital. He didn;t have to stay in or anything and isn't unwell, which just made it feel like a waste of time.

Morning all.
Diddle- Awww hunny. Hope he's well now. try and grab an early one tonight.
I was up yesterday from 5 (not as early as usual) but only slept about 3 hrs and did'nt grab a siesta yesterday. Lol was falling asleep by 9 last night.
Well scan tomorrow morning. Bit nervous about it but pretty calm too. If everything's ok, then we made it through the first milestone! I still feel very pg and have a lrge bump so all's looking well.

9wks today

Where is the time going? it's going so quickly!!!

HK - congrats on making 9 wks, thats fab i bet you're thrilled.

Cant imagine what a mess i'd be if i only had 3 hours sleep don't know how you do it.

Your scan will be great, stay positive.

I'm positive at the mo because all the signs are still there. I'm just looking forward to reaching 12 weeks when I can chill a bit more and allow myself to get maternity stuff

wow hk how do you keep your head together with only 3 hours sleep? i'd be unable to function. good news hitting your milestone, although it won't seem it now three weeks will soon pass and you'll have hit the next milestone.

Morning ladies

diddle - hoe your dh gets sorted soon and you get your nap

hk - Congrats on your milestone and good luck at the scan. I too wouldn't function on 3 hrs sleep!oooh the thought bear with a very very sore head I would be

Well pains is abdo still having the odd occasion but now mastering the sleeping on my left side. Cold is now subsiding - hooray! and looking forward to mw apt on monday.

hope all is well xx

Sorry ladies - quick crash!

Cori, hun, hows your DS?

diddle- glad dh is ok, you must be knackered!

HK- good luck for you scan tommorrow, and congrats for getting to your big milestone roll on your next milestone at 12 week

FN- must be weird being used to sleeping on belly and now not being able to. i always sleep on side so theres no prob, but recently i have had a very active baby inside me from 7am which wakes me every morning

Anyway this morning i got post- my medical notes finally arrived!!! i applyed for them in july 2005 after i sent a letter of complaint to the hospital about how i was treated antenatally, during the drama and postnatally! i am still so angry about the whole situation i even woke up thinking about it this morning.
i have not opened my notes yet, i dunno if i can, i am likely to be a complete wreck while reading all the BULL which will be written in there.

hospitals can easily cover themselves up unfortunately. we took dd into hospital when she was 3 days old as we knew she had a heart murmour and she had stopped feeding, was going cold, very lathargic and was making grunting noises. we were in aau (next to a and e) when her eyes started rolling to the back of her head. we were told by the nurse it was nothing to worry about, she went outside the cubicle and laughed to a collegue that i was a young mum who just didn't know how to bf dd. doctor looked at her but couldn't see anything wrong whilst i was crying saying there was. when we went to children's ward over 3 hours later dd was very very poorly, the doctor there told us to get out of the room and a team of doctors came rushing in. the next time i seen her she was hooked to loads of machines keeping her a live, she had a massive cardiac abnormality and had gone into multiple organ failure. it was touch and go. luckily a team from alder hey came and took her and she made a good recovery thanks to them. since then the hospital that left dd that long said she was fast tracked and was seen to within an hour because of the doctor who seen her in aau. it's wrong and it breaks my heart, if she'd been left another few minutes dd wouldn't have made it. since getting pg this time i can't stop thinking about what happened to dd and how badly we were treated. i know i need to do more about this but i don't think i'm strong enough to fight a hospital.

Hi Slink I read on hear another lady had her notes through this week I think it was for her it brought back all the feelings again. So I would advise to read them when you are ready Slink and be prepared. Thinking of you x

Yes not sleeping on my tum is hard and I can't wait to be woken by the little one moving about...mad I know but want that reassurance

KK its so wrong that they try and cover up they should have your admitted time on computer and therefore shouldn't be able to cover that one up. it makes me so angry cos I have heard a couple of people now saying they were treated badly and taking it up with the hospital.

kk and slink hope you get better care with your pgs x

that sounds awful KK, you should definatly request an explaination from the hospital. your dd is very lucky. I complained to the hospital as i needed some answers to what happened as was being fobbed off with simple explainations which ended up being complete rubbish. the reply from the hospital made me so angry i could not respond to it.
anyway i am now reading the notes, they are long and in doctors scribble so is taking me a long time.
FN- thanks hun

"but by the time she presented to us, the outcome was likely to be very poor indeed."

this is the most painful comment in my notes!
20 weeks- rang hospital to say feeling really anemic can't walk upstairs without almost blacking out etc, they said it was NORMAL
21 weeks- rang again and requested bloods done- they said NO NEED
21.4 - went for abnormally scan and antenatal clinc, voiced concerns and told them feeling unwell recently, they refused to do bloods and said scan was fine, would not check me over in any more detail.
22 weeks- rang hospital told them i was unwell and needed to be seen, they said you can't come into antenatal you haven't got appointment, after being abrupt with them they told me about the early pregnancy unit.
-arrived at epu it was closed, no one would see me! DP got pissed off and started screaming and throwing his weight around, someone finally agreed to see me on the delivery suite!

• they discovered i was 3 cm dialated!

the doctors said it was too late!!!- i presented myself to the hospital weeks earlier with symptoms, i am so angry about this.

im sorry for telling you guys, have no one else to talk to about it, i don't think dp will want to hear etc.
looks like my old consultant seems to think the infection may have been present before my rescue sucture operation and before PROM but there are missing lab reports in my notes, there are no lab reports to my blood and swab cultures etc- where have they gone!!!
As far as i knew from my postnatal check there was NO infection present in any of my swabs yet if thats the case how can i have had infected membranes before PROM? It doesn't make sense and i was expecting more of an investigation!

So sorry to hear these extremely poor responses in your notes, unfortunately in medical, social services, legal professions etc things do "go missing" when they try and cover their tracks...its totally wrong and unfair and I hate to think what they get away with when its affecting peoples lives. Is that what they are saying that is their investigation over? can you take it to a legal aid solicitor to take a peep see if they can help?