Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

Hello.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and sorry for your previous miscarriage. Thanks for starting this thread. I could use some support from someone who can relate to losing a baby beyond the 12 week mark.

I am 12 weeks and 4 days with my 7th pregnancy. I have 3 amazing, healthy children and 4 angels. My miscarriages were all detected by scan and the babies had died in utero only days/weeks before the scan. I miscarried at 18 weeks in 2000 13 weeks in 2003 and with twins at 16.5 weeks in 2004.

I really want to be happy about this pregnancy but how can I possibly be excited when I feel as though there is a 50/50 chance of success. I haven't even told my children that I am pregnant because I know that they found it hard to bear the loss of the other pregnancies as well. I haven't told many friends or any extended family because I know that they will think that I am MAD for even trying to have another baby after what we have been through.

Sorry for going on and on... I think that I could actually fill an entire page with the insane stress that I feel following my appt. at the high risk clinic today but I haven't even had the chance to talk to DH so maybe I will feel better once we have spoken.

Mostly I just feel and alone. Now that I am beyond the 'magic 12 week mark' everyone on the ante-natal thread I post on regularly is feeling confident about their pregnancies and I am just starting to STRESS about mine.

Oh bless you - I misscarried at 12 weeks last March 04 - took me some time to fall again in December (I'm in my late 30's!!) I'm now just about to have my second child at any time now!

It's been a stressfull time - and mumsnet has really helped as I know few women that have expereinced what I have - and its so lonely if you don't get to talk about it. Take care & best wishes

Oh great idea cori I'm so stressed about this baby too. I really want it to happen, I'm not coping very well and keep imaging every twinge is the beginning of the end.

I had a missed m/c at 16.5 weeks in January. I fell pregnant again very quickly and I'm now 26.5 weeks pregnant and expecting a boy in December.

I can honestly say this has been the most stressful few months of my life. It's only very recently that I have started to relax and enjoy being pregnant but there is still a large part of me that won't let go.

I don't think I'll actually feel 100% confident until I have a health baby in my arms.

I'm very lucky that alot of ladies on the Dec thread are in a similar position so we've all been very cautious.

Cadmum - Are you being monitered extra closly this time?? I have had brilliant care with this pregnancy - lots of extra scans and mw appts.

hello ladies
I am currently 24wks pg with my 2nd 'successful' pregnancy. I have a son who is 22mths and before having him I had 2 early mcs. Then in dec last year I had a missed mc when I should have been 15wks baby died around 9wks. Obviously has led to a lot of stresses in this pregnancy and still feel quite surreal and detached about the baby.

Hi. I am almost 6 weeks pg and had a m/c at 8 weeks a couple of years ago.

Have had some awful panics but today feel much calmer about it all - what will be will be.

I have no pg symptoms AT ALL apart from being a bit tired so this doesnt fill me with confidence - my 2 successful pgs I felt terrible. The pg that didnt work out I had no symptoms either.

I will go to the docs next week and ask for an early scan - how early can they see a heartbeat?

wildchild - I had symptoms with my dd, some with the baby I lost and none with this baby. Every pregnancy is different and a lack of symptoms can be down to loads of things so don't worry.

I think the earliest they can see a heartbeat is about 6 weeks but they can usually see the yolk sack before and they can tell you if that is healthy.

I think that they'll offer you a scan at 8wks at the earliest?? I had the worst symptoms with the pg I m/c.

I had a scan at 6 weeks in this pregnancy. I have previously been told, though, that there's not much point doing one before this, as they can't see a heartbeat.

I don't think that the strength of one's symptoms is very encouraging one way or the other, either, despite what my GP says: all three of my miscarriages have had very strong symptoms from the off.

I know what Nemo1977 means about being surreal and detached though: I'm 37 weeks pregnant now and I'm not sure I've fully engaged with the notion of a child. I've only just taken the baby clothes out of their wrappings for a pre-wash (because you never know when you'll have to return them to the shop...). I have to laugh at myself.

Hi everyone,
I knew this thread was needed. There seems to be so many of us goign through this experience at the moment. I am only 5 weeks pregnant, but dont want to post too much about my worries on the antenatal clubs, I think it would just make the others who havent been through this become paranoid. I dont want to post to much on TTC boards because the ladies over there are still desperatly trying to concieve after there losses.

Cadmum- you have been through so much, so many late losses. Did they find a reason for your repeated late M/C.
Redhelen- we need to hear stories like yours. You just about got through it all, and about to have your baby.
Sweetheart- I think I will be the same, I wont relax until it is all over.( if I get there that is- sorry still have to qualify every statement with 'if')
Xena- I was feeling the same last week lots of twinges and panic, feel a bit more confident this week.

I went to the GP yesterday and was told I would be monitored closely with extra appointments, scans etc. How many extra appointments do you get? My first appoint the baby I M/C was at 15 weeks.

I have been feeling quite ill, was hoping this was a good sign, but apparently not.

hi there, i think this thread is a really brilliant idea.
im 23 and 23 weeks pregnant with my first 'sucessful' pregnancy
i m/c at 14 weeks two days after my first scan where the baby was alive an kickin they couldnt give me a good explaination for this and didnt offer me any sort of support to deal with this (i was 20 and single at the time aswell) i felt really alone and went a bit 'off the rails' for a bit ya know depressed, anxious about small things and i cut everyone off from me for a while. iv only fairly recently joined MN and i think that if i knew at the time that there was other women going through what i did it might have helped me deal with it a bit better. iv only recently felt i could relax and enjoy this pg cos i was still waitin for somethin to go wrong.
everyone is so strong for pickin themselves up and carrying on cos for ages i thought i couldnt and look at me now. what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. {{{{{}}}}

hi ei23 and welcome.
I am glad to see you are able to relax again now. 23 weeks seems a long way off to me just now. have you had extra scans and appointments?

Cori: I think you'll need to push for extra appointments or check what their plan of care is for you, because my experience has been that if you don't ask, you don't get. I'm on anticoagulant medication which has a plan of care attached to it (six weekly blood tests, growth scans etc) but no one informed me of this initially - and it took a while before I realised for myself. Both my GP and my consultant are choosing to blame my 'slipping through the net' on the fact that I have an independent midwife, but that's rubbish: I was on the medication for quite a while before we booked the midwife. And lucky that we have her, really - since I'm also supposed to be at higher risk of pre-eclampsia, but who knows how often the NHS would have tested my urine or taken my blood pressure.

To be fair to my consultant, though, he did go off to beat up a midwife when he discovered that I hadn't been informed about the plan of care.

Also - on the other hand - you may not want too much consultant involvement or wish to be classified as 'high risk' - because this obviously affects the kind of delivery you have, perhaps with a higher risk of intervention with no demonstrable benefit to either you or the infant.

hi
I know how you feel, i dont think i will relax. i lost my baby at 32 weeks for no reason last year i am now expecting on the very day she was born, i am 25 weeks now. my hospital are wonderful and i get to see someone every week, this means i feel ok one day out of seven. i feel like i am spending all my time holding my breath.....
love Beag

Nemo, I see you are selling your doopler on the for sale board.I am planning on getting one when I am a few more weeks along.
I hope you dont mind me asking,but why are you selling it?

Xena, have you been to see the GP yet?

Hello to everyone.
Cori- excellent idea for starting this thread. Can I join in too?

I have 2DDs. I had a mc in June at 11 wks and I'm now 6 weeks pg (trying to take it one day at a time but not doing very well!) I tried last week to get in early with the midwife so I could get an early scan at the EPU, she told me that "they don't like to do them before 10wks because they can't see anything." (Wonder whether she got mixed up between the antenatal bit and the EPU bit) I rang up the EPU and they said they're happy to do scans from 6 wks. So looks like I'll have to plead with my Dr to get referred for an early scan.

Hi all, No I haven't been to the doctors yet as I am a childminder I'm working fairly long hours as its the holidays. The children go back to school on the 9th and I think they do the antenatal booking on thursday.
Petunia our local hospital offers a scan at 8wks if you have had a previous m/c and then the regular ones at 12 and 23wks. I was wondering whether or not to accept the 8wk scan as my m/c was after this anyway, but I think as most of you are doing I will accept it as it an be like anther milestone if the baby makes it that far and then the next milestone is 12wks, 16wks and so on. Taking each day as it comes. Although I'm sat here today wondering if its viable now at 5wks.

Hi can I put my story here as well? None of the other threads seem suitable do they I orriginally posted on the bereavement thread but since getting pregnant it would of seemed as if i was rubbing peoples noses in it.

I miscarried twins at nine weeks back in September and am one of the lucky one who has since gone on to have a succesfull pregnancy, this baby is due on the date that I lost my twins. However even though I can feel movement etc I won't be able to relax till I can hold a healthy baby in my arms.

Shortly afterwards they admitted that my thyroid was so far out of control that this combined with nursing DD and DH through chickenpox was mostly likely to be the reason for it. They then trebbled my dosage of thyroxine.

I had to fight with my GP amd the hospital for an early scan (9weeks in my case) but when I got there it was such a relief when they said that this pregnancy was viable. They refused to do a second scan at 12 weeks as they did not deem it necessary so I was paniciking all the way up till the 20 week scan and did not want to look at the screen until DH took my hand and told me everything was fine and then all I could do was cry.

I was told that I would be monitored more closely but have had to fight every step of the way to get additional blood tests and antenatal appointments.

I am starting to feel a bit down as I approach the aniversary of loosing my angels, even thoug I know I will soon be meeting my new baby, although not as bad as I was on their due date. If i hadn't of been preggo at the time I think i would of ended up going on a bender.

I am so glad that I found mumsnet because everyone on here has been so kind and supportive . So a big thankyou to everyone out there who has been ther for me and others in a similar situation.

Hi Mummyhill,
I am glad this stressful period is almost over for you. When are due? you must keep us updated.
I will probably have my baby around the same time as I lost the last one too. Will probably be having an elective ceaserean at 38 weeks, which makes me some time in the middle of April.

Hopefully I will not have to fight for scans appointments etc. I was advised even before I got pregnant that I would have all these.

Like you Xena I am looking at the process as series of small milestones. Am thinking about doing a short course in watercolour painting to help me take my mind off it.

Hi,
Great thread - I'm been watching it trying to get the courage to post. I had a mc in March too, and just found out I am 7 weeks pregnant. My lovely doctor arranged an early scan to calm me down and they found a heartbeat!!! Still verving between elation and reminding myself it can all still go wrong in the blink of an eye. I worried this morning because for once I did not wake up feeling sick. Good luck to all of you.

I am due on Tuesday and am getting very nervous.

good luck mummyhill

by my calculations I am about 5wks and 4 days pg. Today I felt a bit sick when I woke up. I have just drunk a cup of instant coffee and it was horrible and now my tummy is growling and rumbling terribly. I am hoping these are pg symptoms!

I've had aches pains and dizzyness for 24hrs now. By my calcs I should be 5+1

i have had so many aches and pains over the last two weeks - I am beginning to realise that they are a) tummy pains - I have the WORST tummy atm or b) stretchy ligament type pains. I have also been a bit dizzy I am sure it is normal.