Post your unrealistic expectations here...

[banana87]

Before I had DD I was convinced that:

1. She would sleep...alot...from birth.
2. I would go to the gym everyday from 4 weeks post-birth!
3. She would function on my schedule, not hers.
4. I would not love her any more than any of the kids I have worked with (I used to be a SN nanny).

A friend of mine (expecting her first) thinks that:

1. Baby will sleep in a cradle until 6 months then move to a SINGLE BED.
2. Baby will take a dummy, and be on a schedule, from birth.
3. She will not love her baby more than her goddaughter.

Next...

birth would be wonderful homebirth in pool with serene candlelight. It was the opposite.

baby would be calm and content coz i had spent the last six months "researching" reading endless books and watching endless baby whisperer type shows. He was a nightmare.

I would never have the telly on. Its on pretty much from breakfast to bedtime.

and so on!

OH yes, forgot the "no telly until she is 5"...LOL. That lasted...

My sister always said she would never have messy hair/baby sick on her/ dribble on her ect, she always said from the time the baby was born she would go back to being fully made up with her hair done and clean cothes on at all times. pmsl.

That after the birth of lo in September I will never eat another biscuit or any more chocolate, I will eat fruit and tofu, I will get to spinning class at least three times a week and be a lovely size ten by Christmas.
In my head, this will happen, in reality, I'll be lucky to get out of my pj's to do the school run x

getstuffed If you're breastfeeding you can explain away the yummy cakes and flapjacks!! And still lose weight!! :)

Heheheheheh no telly, that was mine! cbeebies at 2 months.
No dummy's, we lasted a whole bloody MONTH on this before we shoved one in and it was four weeks of torture, why oh why did we wait!???!!!

Now banana, you are into something! dd didn't bf and as I am planing on giving it a proper huge big go this time, I will also (in my head) see my body morph into Gisele Bundchen's after six weeks of this one being on the boob. I love my fantasy world

hhhhm, i am convinced that this baby will just slot into our chaotic life, that the school run with DS 1 and 2 will be a doddle and that the baby will just have to breast feed around those times. Of course my social life will get back to how it was by about 3 weeks, I will be able to cope with the night time wakings/feeding much better this time round since i have been through it twice before, i will still be able to have lots of energy so that i can take our dog for a walk once a day......now as for the dummy and tv on during the day.......f**k yeah! Did that before and will be doing it again!!

That I can do my dissertation and all final year degree work plus placement hours 12 hour shifts whist having a baby to look after and many broken nights.

I KNOW that this baby will be an angel. Karma owes me one you see, so it is no way an unrealistic expectation.

DS1 was a non-sleeping, breast-refusing, screaming-banshee of a child, so the laws of fairness mean this one will be perfect.

I am the reverse of sarahscot and have an ANGEL, we didn't know we had her, if this one's not the same I am giving it away......

Last time I thought the baby would just sleep serenely in her pram all the time from the very first week, while I sat smiling with friends at cafes.

I thought she'd just latch on to the boob perfectly from the beginning, that I'd be a bf earth mother there'd be no pain or bf problems at all.

This time I have the same unrealistic expectations, but replacing pram with sling and cafe with park with dd.

This time I'm going to bf effortlessly while swanning around with my sling on and the baby is going to sleep contentedly while I take dd to the park and do lots of gardening

That being at home all day with a baby would give me the chance to catch up on all those jobs I never had the time for whilst working: sorting out the bookcase, tidying the garage, arranging the photos in albums etc......

Keeping on top of the housework would be a start...LOL.......

This one will slot into our school routine beautifully , as well as sleeping like a trooper. We WILL be able to take it to France to visit my dad when its 8 weeks old, (with steriliser, bottles, nappies, buggy) and 2 other children in the car, where it will also sleep serenely. I will find having one baby a doddle after coping with twins, and everyone will say "I don't know how you make it look so easy...." and I will be losing weight hand over fist (rather than stuffing my face hand over fist) and running down country lanes with baby in buggy in preparation for the Great South Run 2011 (had to postpone 2010 application due to this little suprise!). And all will be well with the world.......

Can i join in please, am 19wks with my first (unplanned) and last. My fantasy starts with the labour

1 Its not going to be that painful at all

2 It will start at around midnight with a few twinges, i will go to hospital, still not in much pain (oh and will just have had hair and nails done that day, so will look half decent)

3 Will have epidural on arrival at the hospital

4 By 6am after still not having felt much, will not have torn or had to be cut, cos my son will pop out with a small but perfectly formed head and set of shoulders

5 I will be allowed home at lunchtime to carry on with life, which of course will be much like before cos perfect son will never cry, or do smelly poos, will only be sick a little after feeding, and never on himself or me

6 As you were ladies, im off to carry on my fantasy

That I wouldn't have afterpains and lochia. This is because I'd never heard of them! NCT didn't mention them at all - I had a c section and thought they'd take all the lochia out! And I didn't know what an afterpain was, and concluded I was having a twin that no one had noticed!

That I wouldn't let my children watch the telly until they were at school. Waybaloo has saved my life!

That I would go to at least 2 activities a day, and maybe even run some myself! (I congratulate myself if I'm dressed before 10am!)

That I would NEVER use jars or pre packed food! I've got over myself since these thoughts...fresh from the jar, etc!

I'm 34+2 now and my expectations are:

To have hair, make up and clothes more perfect than they've ever been

To be able to go shopping for a few hours with baby in a carrier and get no bodily fluids on me, have no crying and no back ache

To be able to get up and leave the house to meet a friend at a moment's notice

Partner's (who's also my boss) expectations:

To be able to go to work for a couple of hours in the week and for 8 hours on a saturday and get things done and be able to serve customers uninterrupted, going to give feeds etc when there are no customers in.

fantastic thread! 21 weeks with first

Baby will spend days in a sling and nights in our bed. I will effortlessly breastfeed, and baby will always be content and will never cry. I will be busy every day and spend loads of time travelling round visiting friends and family and going to festivals (with little baby earguards) and because of huge breast feeding weight loss I will for the first time ever look good in floaty hippy clothes (sienna miller as opposed to wide hipped earth mother who brews her own nettle tea). I will also complete a distance learning masters while on maternity leave.

la la la la I can't hear you...

LOL at this. Really. This a fabby mood booster1

I will be super organised once i have had this baby. Will waft around with beautiful hair, baking and doing crafty stuff with my adorable children in my house straight out of CountryLiving magazine.

I will have the time to ride both of my horses and will have the figure i have always dreamed of.

I will also magically know how to garden, and will look glamorous in my gardening clothes.

Am 33 weeks and have convinced myself that:

1. Birth will be a wonderful, stress free experience.

1. Baby will have DH's serene temperament and not my constantly cross one.

1. I'll be back in a size 10 within 2 months, no probs.

1. I will use my maternity leave to read all the books I have never had time to before.

Yeah right.

I used to think I would not tolerate fussy eating, and if they did not eat what was given then they had nothing until next meal......twattish expectation.

Ahh, my thoughts are very realistic, I'm expecting pain and hell and figure anything less is a plus...

Just for a laugh, on unrealistic expectations, a friend of mine didnt realise that babies exist on milk!!

I don't know if mine are expectations - I know they are vain hopes:

1 - baby will be healthy but small with a narrow head, contrary to his genes - DH v tall and me with a sizeable cranium.

2 - labour will not be that bad and, thanks to the many hypno/ Ina May-type books I have read, I will 'breathe the baby down' through my 'rushes', possibly experiencing pleasurable birth.

3 - I will sleep when baby sleeps and thus manage not to get sleep deprived - this is my biggest fear, I need my eight hours.

4 - I will start running and eat v heathily and be a size ten again, pref by Xmas...

Fantasies ...

1. That I WILL get my body back. And my flat stomach, with no stretch marks! This fantasy is essential to hold on to.

2. That I will remain dignified throughout the entire process of giving birth, and that spectators will marvel at my composure and bravery ... and that DP won't see anything 'vaginal' while it happens.

3. That I will somehow enjoy breastfeeding. I really, really won't, I'm certain of it, but I am trying to convince myself that it will be spiritual and beautiful etc. But the tiny, squashdownable part of my mind just thinks, 'yuck'.

4. That, in my 6 months of maternity leave, I will start a business, write my novel, and go to the gym 4 times per week.