Post your unrealistic expectations here...

[banana87]

Before I had DD I was convinced that:

1. She would sleep...alot...from birth.
2. I would go to the gym everyday from 4 weeks post-birth!
3. She would function on my schedule, not hers.
4. I would not love her any more than any of the kids I have worked with (I used to be a SN nanny).

A friend of mine (expecting her first) thinks that:

1. Baby will sleep in a cradle until 6 months then move to a SINGLE BED.
2. Baby will take a dummy, and be on a schedule, from birth.
3. She will not love her baby more than her goddaughter.

Next...

TBtotallyH I have parented as I expected, apart from:

I will never go for a drive in the car just to get my toddler to sleep.

PAH!

That I would go on maternity leave for 3 months, that the baby would be born on the due date (two weeks into maternity leave), and that I would return to work full time when the baby was 2 1/2 months old.

The baby would sleep most of the time so the interruptions for feeding would be no worse than working in an open-plan office.

In fact, DD1 arrived 2 weeks late after 57 hours of labour; and during the day she only slept for 15 mins max at a time. I had severe PND and several bouts of crippling mastitis. Ah, happy days... It did get better though.

before DS I was convinced:
-his cot would be made with co-ordinating sheets, bumpers etc every day like in the shops
-he would sleep through the night from 6 weeks old

For about a month after starting solids, I was so proud he ate all fruit and veg combinations that I genuinely thought this would last forever

naive?

DD loves all of my fruit and vegetable combinations, and I'm so proud. Oh dear

I remembered another one. I did not think (or wish to think) that labour or giving birth was going to be painful. I was going to have an epidural, be pain free, and enjoy giving birth.

Ha.

To be fair, my contractions were merely "bump going hard" and did not hurt at all. But my god, the epidural did not take on one side of my body, and I had failed venutose and forceps, was cut, with basically no pain relief.

I was convinced I was never having sex again, much less another baby. Oh how that lasted. I am broody as hell!

That my ds would not have sweets, he is 2.2 yrs old and currently having a seet ban from too much sugar making him hyper

I too thought that DS1 would

1. Happly lie in his pram and coo at me or sleep while I enjoyed sitting in cafes and meeting friends (I couldn't sit as I had to be up rocking while he was on my shoulder)

1. Would go to sleep immediately after night feeds (no two hour rocking/cuddling/shush patting marathons)

1. Birth would be painful but over quickly with no need for anything but gas and air (after 58 hours, pethidine, and epidural, ventouse, forceps and an episiotomy he came out - back to back)

1. BF would be easy (he wouldn't latch on for first two days and had to give up after 8 weeks due to reduction in supply).

1. That it would be easy to look after him (it is now I let him watch TV and eat biscuits and play in the dirt!)

With DS2 I had zero expectations, and he was a 3 hour labour, out in one push in the birthing pool, latched on almost immediately and would put himself to sleep from the day we brought him home. Still BF and he is 13m old :)

Most mums I know say the second and third children are generally easier!

This is funny and eye opening, currently 37+5 wks with my first. Clearly all my expectations have been dashed to pieces, however I am optomistic that I will be the exception to the rule and I will definately...

1. Have a relatively short, fairly pain free labour. I will definately not tear or need an episiotomy.
2. I will miraculously toss aside my crutches and wheelchair and skip home with my LO, with not a hint of SPD.
3. DC will be utterly gorgeous and not look all scrunched up and like every other baby I have ever seen. He/she will also display early signs of being a genius (not quite sure how yet)
4. I will bake cakes and cookies for all the doting relatives who come and visit my perfectly angelic baby.
5. I will lose all the baby weight plus a bit extra due to the ease of bf and long leisurely walks that I will do everyday.

and that's all just in the first couple of weeks.
I will report back by the end of September to confirm that all of the above has come true and make you all unrealistic - pah!!

Oh I love this.

DS is 7 weeks. I thought I would write a novel by the time I return to work from m/l.

still working on it.

I also thought that all my hynobirthing prep wwould eman that i would be clam in labour, and would merely cough and the baby would be out, and everyone would ooh and aah with admiration at how well i handled it.

26 hour labour, gas and air made me vomit, I was passing out between contractions and begged and begged for an epidural.

I love epridurals.

I still think fondly of my epidural.

Ds is lovely though. bf has failed utterly (midwife says it is my fault as I am not bf on demand..... I have had no supply from day one. Nada.)

I thought that visitors afterwards would stay maybe an hour or so and be considerate that I had been through a traumatic birth; not had a full nights sleep and it was all a bit new and awkward breastfeeding and we would want a bit of time alone.

I also thought I would be able to clean the house top to bottom twice a week.

That I would have time, during my labour, to eat the pizza I had carefully handmade, listen to the Jack Dee CD I had been saving (wtf), and would use the dinky little hand held fan should I get hot during transition!

I thought DC1 would enjoy wearing the little vests with the days of the week on, never thinking that he would end up in Friday's vest on a Monday morning due to various leaking incidents.

I also promised my DH, on marriage, that we wouldn't be like other couples, that we would always sit down for an hour a day to properly listen to each other and how our days have been. [Hollow laugh].

After 40 odd weeks of violent morning sickness, my only expectation was to finally be able to eat/drink/move without chucking my guts up.

Sod's law, I reacted to either the pethidine or that crap they inject to help you expel the placenta, and thus spent the first day of DDs life ... yes, vomiting. Hoo-fucking-rah.

jemjabella I too had the expectation that ms would cease at 12 weeks (they lie!), only to find myself still vomiting as they were sewing me up in the or!

my kids were not going to watch tv at all, ever, until they were at least 5. they are both big fans of numberjacks and toy story...

my kids were going to sleep in their own cots / beds - ds2 comes into our room every other night (he's 2.7)

my kids were only going to eat home-made organic food. and never a fish finger - fish goujons were named that for a reason

the only thing i've stuck to really is that they don't eat sweets, chocolates, crisps or chips (ds1 is 4.2 and still has not had a chip).

Mine was that I'd be in and out of hospital within hours. In reality, I was in for 5 very long days!

I love this!!

My baby was NEVER getting a dummy (its saved my life at times)

I was never going to use jarred baby food and was going to have so much free time to prepare fresh meals every day (thank god for mums own recipe and organix!)

Was going to breastfeed effortlessly for at least a year (got myself so stressed out my milk dried up at 5 months!)

That I would spend my days out and about, shopping, visiting friends and going for meals. (at times I never made it out of my PJ's, and am so skint I couldnt afford to eat out every day!)

oh yes....

AND breastfeeding would be more than adequate contraception after the birth...DONT believe it ladies unless you want to find out your pregnant again so soon after your 1st. My 2nd is due exactly a year after the 1st!! :) :)

Well, i thought it was all going to be horrendous, after the world's worst pregnancy...however,

my labour was quick, easy and the contractions were pretty bearable, didn't need any pain relief

DD was the most content, laid-back baby ever (and still is).She'll sleep anywhere, at any time. Slept through at 5 weeks, sleeps 13 hours straight now, at 6 months.

Eats anything I give her with gusto

Lies on her playmat playing happily for hours at a time

I honestly don't know I've got her. Truly. So, based on the law of averages - I'm never, ever having another!

Hilarious.

I did manage to fit back into my jeans within days of DS's birth - however, as that birth was not the serene home birth with birthing pool at 40 weeks but a shock spontaneous delivery in hospital at 31+4 followed by five weeks of DS in special care, it didn't really seem to matter much.

Expectations? Not even considering that bfing might not work, or be painful - to be fair, the situation made it a million times worse as I couldn't even hold DS for five days, and he was in an incubator for 12. But the mastitis and bleeding nipples were a big big shock.

Since then, well, I did very well with no sugar etc for many years. It's only since ds turned three really that he's had more of that stuff, and he still never has sweets or crisps given to him. But like others, my 'oh isn't he wonderful, look he'll pick up sticks of broccoli and eat them' 18-month old has turned into 'it's green - no way' undisguised vegetable hating three-and-a-half year old. Fish fingers - check, chips - check. Thank god he loves fruit so much.

Telly/computer - he'd watch a lot less if DP didn't have to look after him some of the time while I work - he's become a bit of an addict...

I never expected to have a disabled child either - that's one nothing can prepare you for. Diagnosed with CP at 21 months.

This time I have no expectations, but at 30 weeks pg, my only hope is that I go to term or near enough, and that the baby is healthy. I feel like I deserve a break. And please can the bfing be successful and not quite so painful! I never want to see another bottle of formula at 3 in the morning. I want a I-don't-really-have-to-quite-wake-up-while-the-baby-feeds-in-bed one this time please.

That I would not get morning sickness and would glow throughout pregnancy - cue months of throwing up.

That DC would be late but I would be relaxed about it and leave myself plenty to do for those last few weeks, like packing a hospital bag and getting nursing bras - DS was 2 weeks early, ended up with a half packed bag, homebirth turned into ambulance ride to hospital at the last minute so we'd already unpacked half the stuff I finally did manage to pack, DP had to go venture into the lingerie section of mothercare for me .

I didn't read the chapter of the book on colic because there was no way my baby would have that.

No dummies - the colic kind of did for that one.

That I would complete an OU course during my ML - I'm expecting the next DC now and still thinking I should sign up for a module (because it will be easier with a toddler as well as a baby .

That having a baby would mean sleepless nights - DS has always slept well at night.

I would give up breastfeeding on DS's first birthday, he would then be handed to Granny while me and DP headed off to a music festival - maybe in 2014??

I would get morning sickness - I didnt
I would have a painful labour and then epidural - I didnt had cesearean so painful recovery
I would be in hospital for 1 night min - I wasnt although 32 hours might seem short for cesaerean recovery
I was going to breasfeed - only managed for 6 weeks
She wasnt wearing pink! she does
Only organic food - haha
no jars - hahaha
No spaghetti hoops - right..
No tv - oh dear
I would make friends with babies - no by the time i managed to get us ready to go out it was time for my maternity leave to be over
would be back at work within 3 months - yes I was although wasnt on this planet!

Had no clue about babies, and for some reason imagined that DD might be born as independent as a 1 year old.

That DD would sleep in a crib - she didn't and is still in our bed at 7 months

No pink - she looks lovely in pink!

Only thought about the no tv bit after - but we're keeping to it so far!

That I would breastfeed for 6 months - now planning to do it for 1 year

That I could pick up playing the piano during mat leave - haha

That I would be back at work when DD was 11 weeks - in fact only managed to go back at 28 weeks

DD would sleep through at 10 weeks - in fact now that I'm back at work she's feeding all through the night to make up for taking only 1-2oz of milk during the day

That I would not still look pregnant after birth (despite all the books tell you you will i simply did NOT believe them)
That I would do some (work) reading every day
That I would get at least a couple of papers published (fat chance!)

But on the other hand I never imagined in a million years I would be so besotted with my beautiful daughter... so not all bad heh :)

PMSL at all of these.

31weeks with DD3 and having had all these delusions (shattered) before, I still believe the following:

1. I will leave hospital 6hours after a natural, non-intervention yogic birth (DS1 saw me in for 5days after an EMCS, DS2 saw me in for three days after drug-free VBAC followed by surgery for 3rd degree tear and loss of 1.7l of blood).

2. I will be able to resume the full school run within 14days of birth and will be sporting baby in one of those wraparound slings so that I have free hands for book-bags etc (this HAS to be able to happen)

3. I will recover in super-quick time and make the most of my three months proper mat leave

4. When I return to work (with baby) in January, the baby wll sleep happily in her sling while I resume running the company.

5. My older sons will dote on their sister, feel no jealousy, displacement, or resentment whatsoever

6. The bedside crib we have this time will ensure long nights of restful sleep from early on

7. The laisse-faire attitude my DH has displayed thorughout this pregnancy will be overhauled by the rush of emotions he will feel when the baby is born and he will revert to treating me like the most amazing woman again.

8. My daughter and I will be the dream team, she will be my best friend and we will wiin the battle against the overwhelming testosterone charged household I currently inhabit.

9. Washable nappies, no disposable cheating and keeping on top of the washing.

DH delusions:

1. His daughter will dote on him and he will not be manipulated or bent around his little finger by her in the future.

2. That I am actually superwoman and can get back to earning my full-time wages within 9 months. (Yeah right).