Post your unrealistic expectations here...

[banana87]

Before I had DD I was convinced that:

1. She would sleep...alot...from birth.
2. I would go to the gym everyday from 4 weeks post-birth!
3. She would function on my schedule, not hers.
4. I would not love her any more than any of the kids I have worked with (I used to be a SN nanny).

A friend of mine (expecting her first) thinks that:

1. Baby will sleep in a cradle until 6 months then move to a SINGLE BED.
2. Baby will take a dummy, and be on a schedule, from birth.
3. She will not love her baby more than her goddaughter.

Next...

well my expectations with birth this time are totally realistic........

This one will be floating out on a bed of cotton wool after a slight stomach cramp to let me know he's ready to arrive.....

oh and I will be back in my size 10 jeans that I have kept for the last 4 years 20 minutes after welcoming him to the world

That I wont put as much weight on as I did last time (Im carrying twins this time!)

That looking after a toddler and twins will be a doddle

Ill be able to get out every day for a walk with all three

That theyll slot into a routine straight away and will feed at the same time...

That my eldest wont get jealous and will be an absolute angel from the moment we bring the twins home!...

This thread will take off. I was convinced:

• I would use v little telly. (Just wait till you have a second, and a third - TV is a MUST!).
• Kids would eat organic. Lasted a few months with my PFB
• Baby would happily sleep in cot/ moses basket. Ha ha ha HA HA HA.
• I would love breastfeeding and feel all fulfilled, warm and lovely. It was awful, painful, v difficult for 9 months - but fantastic the second time around and I had all the feelings I'd hoped for..
• Baby would sleep through from 3 months. More like 3 years.

Elenia. I had twins when my first was nearly 3. CHANGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!!

Love this thread. My DD is 6months.

Before I had her I thought

she would sleep peacefully in her pushchair in a corner of the indoor school whilst I exercised my pony

that I would have so much "free time" on maternity leave that I would be able to buy an unhandled, unbroken moor pony as a future-pony for DD to ride and spend the summer breaking it in.

that DD would sleep through the night from 6 weeks and nap regularly and peacefully during the day.

that I would never want to go back to work. Whereas now, I would really rather like a day 'off' back at work once a week or so!

I will get one of those mobile travel crib things and plonk the baby in the bathroom while I have a shower every day (or maybe even bath)

I will start using cloth nappies from birth (I told a m/w friend of mine this and she gave me a sceptical look and said 'mate you're not going to have time to comb your hair much less do your laundry'... I refuse to believe her. After all that's what washer dryers are for right?!

I will be washed and dressed and out of the house with LO in a sling for a walk in the park every day by 10am.

There are plenty more, but IMO they aren't unrealistic expectations, they are just reality that is yet to be realised!

Before i had DD,i thought,no,,i was convinced that i would never let the baby eat store food,HAHAHAHA

that i would give birth naturally,my mum had 8 of us,i could do it,c section was the option coz baby would not come out after 42 weeks.

that breastfeeding would be a breeze,it was horriblei was crying from the pain,she was crying from the hunger(can't believe i let my baby go hungry while trying to be a super mum and less guilty from those nurses telling me i had to BF,still painful after 4months,

on the bright side,DD slept through the night from 3 weeks,thats 10pm to 5am.
at 2months we put her in her own room and she has been there since,no problems and now sleeps from 9pm to 8am,,,yyyyeeessss.

she smiles and still at the stage where everybody is ok to hold her and DH and myself can go and have dinner while she is happy in her bugggy,

MIne started with the pregnancy. I thought I was going to be one of those women who blossoms when they are pregnant and feels wonderful the entire time. Not so. I was bloated, uncomfortable, and obsessed with dairy food. (Actually, apart from the discomfort, little has changed).

Also, I had heard that when your child is presented to you after birth, you feel an overwhelming rush of unconditional love. Nope. I felt completely swindled. For 6 weeks, I sat on my sofa in my dressing gown, crying and wondering why the fuck anyone in their right mind would do this more than once.

It's much better now, of course.

Rachiesparrow,i am with on the overwhelming rush, i did not feel anything for the first3 weeks,one reason being when i BF my DD it was horrible,so i wanted nothing to do with her,

i was depressed coz my whole family is in another continent and also lack of sleep and the shock of being responsible for that pink little thing,but now when i look at her,oh God the love,i can not even begin to think that we have only had her for just 4months.I kept telling DH that there is no way i was gonna have another one,no way,but now we have already decided when we will try for no 2,crazy!!

What a funny thread - laughing so much a fart popped out :)

I'm absolutely convinced the baby will force ME into a routine. I currently don't wake on my days off until after 9am...

Expecting my figure to snap back quickly.

Will make loads of mummy friends when I'm walking around our local park and our babies will love playing together (biggest fear is being lonely).

That the second stage of labout wouldn't really hurt. Expected the first stage to hurt and did think the second might be a bit uncomfy...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

Let's just say I wasn't altogether right... Though 8lb 9oz DD and 3rd degree tear didn't help!

Bless you all, you are so sweet (mum of four) :o

This is a wonderful thread.

I think I thought having a baby would do wonderful things for my social life and that every other new mother I met would be a wonderful lifelong friend.

Um, no. Friendship is friendship whatever it's based around, and it always requires hard work...

Oh - and how vulnerable I would feel.

Always thought men and women were equal, earned exactly the same as my DH, had owned my own home before getting married etc.

But after the baby, just wanted someone big and strong to scare all the baddies away...

Cos I had my little precious bundle to take care of...

Rachiesparrow, I so hear you about the pregnancy expectations! Pre-preg, I thought:

I would acheive a zenlike ability to prioritise my own stuff in a sacred vessel sort of way, and therefore be slimmer and fitter than pre-preg because of all the antenatal yoga and swimming (in fact have gained 2lb for every 1lb of baby and refusing to slack off at work in case they all write me off)

I would waft around with an adorable bump in lovely preg outfits (mismatched collection of odd garments lent by friends and whatever is stretchy enough to still fit)

I would begin domestic goddess transformation and be completely sorted by the time DC turns up (have completely lost interest in all housework and gardening, can't face cooking, and am in denial about the fact that i'll have to actually set up a nursery)

Pippand - come and join me in my delivery room - it'll be just like a spa, I'm certain of it!

That breastfeeding would mean I could go anywhere and do anything and that in between feeds the baby would alternately gurgle engagingly and sleep.
Breastfeeding is thankfully not painful and there is plenty milk but the baby lies at the breast like a snorting eel/piglet/bear cub. Wriggling and farting and snorting - comical at home but in public, people look alarmed at the noises coming from my bosom.
I too thought I would exercise ... but have realised that well defined abs would deprive bubs of his favourite belly trampoline. I am podgy for my baby's pleasure!

Thought it would be hard work, it wasn't.

Brought DS home, he would wake and feed and be asleep by the time he had finished.

Thought he would be noisy but he never made a sound other than sucking his fist.

At six weeks he would sleep all night then wake up and give me a huge grin.

The most annoying thing he ever did was wrap my hair around his fist, so that I could not escape when he was asleep.

Sorry smug I know, but as it took me 11 pregnancies to get him I need some luck.

1 No dummies- lasted about 5 days.

2 breastfeeding would be piece of piss- was it bollocks, I FF from 3 days old.

3 I would lead by example and eat healthily- 3 years after the birth and my idea of a healthy breakfast is a greggs sausage roll and a diet coke in stead of a regular on the way to work. in my defence DD does have a diet thought.

4 I'd be a SAHM- lasted 8 months before I was so bored I went back to work.

DS is 3 and DD is due in November.
After Christmas I will be taking new baby to the allotment with me every day my DS is at nursery and by summer next year the allotment will be tip top and perfect.
DD will be able to sleep in the car/or in a tent thingy and all will be perfect.

Mine were:
That I would put him in his own cot right away and use some kind of routine to get him into good sleeping patterns - cue me going straight to co-sleeping from the moment he arrived

No tv - that lasted until I started working from home again and he wouldn't go to sleep to order - but to be fair, my friend who did keep the tv to a minimum said that her DS became an instant addict when he was allowed to watch it - at least DS can mostly take it or leave it now (2.8)

I think that was it - I was fairly realistic about it.

DH, otoh, couldn't understand why nothing got done during the day because "Babies sleep all the time, don't they?" No you fucker, they don't! Mine napped for about half an hour, twice if I was lucky, during the day. GRRRR!

I really thought we'd have an angel first time round (big positive thinker, me) and he was , I was the envy of all my friends - he was the smiliest, easiest baby around. But... he became a frigging demon from 7pm to 7am - screaming all evening with colic then up and down all night with wind, teething, whatever. He's only started sleeping thru with any consistency in the last month (and he's 22 months).

When I was pg with DD (now 3 weeks) and people asked 'What do you want' (meaning boy or girl), I'd reply 'Just one that sleeps!' So far, she's 100 times better than DS so maybe we got lucky this time round, I'm really hoping it lasts

Thumbwitch - Our DS is just like your friend's DS re: TV. I (truthfully) haven't let him watch any TV but have been letting him watch a video twice a week in the last month (since DD was born ) - he sits thru the whole thing with eyes glued to it, ditto if we go to a friend's house and they have their TV on. Cue them telling me that DS is a telly addict!

1. I'd spend my first month of ML before the baby came reading about the birth as I'd been to scared before, and visiting local attractions. (Had one day ML before ending up in hospital!)

1. I was having a home birth, early labour would be done in the bath with a glass of wine. I'd potter around, mobile and whispering sweet nothings to my boyfriend before calling the midwives. (Had one day of ML before being taken in to hospital and told I wouldn't be leaving without a baby! emcs, 1 week in hospital during hottest week of year - temperature on ward hotter (36 degrees) than incubator in SCBU - not allowed a shower for 5 days due to drips & constant monitoring.)

1. That I hadn't put on that much weight - (got on scales, appeared to weigh the same at 7 months. Have since put ON weight. )

1. BF would be a piece of piss. (It was, however no milk produced.)

1. I'd go to the gym daily. (I have ridden my horse but the gym is on the "to do" list.)

1. I'd start a new degree this October. (Quite frankly can't be arsed anymore.)

1. I'd get the house "spring cleaned". (Tbf getting the washing done is a piece of piss as is washing up because they both take minutes rather than hours.)

our baby is 6 weeks, hes a very good baby better than i thought, but i expected to have natural almost pain free birth and leave in my jeans.....
44 hour labour, baby was back to back, forceps delivery, had to be cut, i COULD have left in my jeans but 6 weeks on when i wear jeans i still want to cry after an hour of having them on from throbbing scar!
on the plus side natural labour?? i had pethadine and a mobile epidural and they were AMAZING, no desire to have another baby but would love pethadine and a mobile epidural again!

I am going to make delicious meals, nutritious soups etc and DH and I will sit down together in the dining room and eat these wonderful meals whilst smiling at each other and our giggling, gurgling pfb.

I am going to stitch a beautiful Noah's Ark sampler that I bought for the nursery, and should probably only take 100 hours to complete. likewise, I will knit cute little carfigans and hats and mittens and if its a girl I will sew pretty little dresses with smocking detail - oh what hours we will pass contentedly together in the sewing room. (I don't have a sewing room!)

Having a baby is going to magically restore my relationship with my mother so that we never bicker again, but just marvel at how wonderful her grandchild is. (Not that my relationship with my mother is terrible at the moment, but we do set each other off sometimes!)

That I will go for long walks through the woods every day with baby in a sling, feeling at one with nature and watching the changing of the seasons.

Please let me hold on to my delusions just a little longer...