Post your unrealistic expectations here...

[banana87]

Before I had DD I was convinced that:

1. She would sleep...alot...from birth.
2. I would go to the gym everyday from 4 weeks post-birth!
3. She would function on my schedule, not hers.
4. I would not love her any more than any of the kids I have worked with (I used to be a SN nanny).

A friend of mine (expecting her first) thinks that:

1. Baby will sleep in a cradle until 6 months then move to a SINGLE BED.
2. Baby will take a dummy, and be on a schedule, from birth.
3. She will not love her baby more than her goddaughter.

Next...

Mine was that I would enjoy every single minute of motherhood. My friend's was funnier. She actually planned to visit every single museum in London (with baby) during her three-month maternity leave. (Of course, she didn't visit one.)

I'm 35+1 and here are my unrealistic dreams:

• That I will not panic when I go into labour, and that things will go smoothly with an epidural for pain relief, and I'll be home the next day

• That my tummy will start to deflate pretty sharpish so that I can wear normal-ish clothes again rather than my maternity clown clothes, which I am so sick of I could scream

• That as soon as I've given birth I will begin following weight watchers to lose weight, and not at all slip off the bandwagon by eating tons of chocolate or creamy risottos

• That after 4 weeks, I'll start doing lunges/ squats/ sit ups and an hour's walk daily with ds in the pram to shift the flab

• That I'll have a perfectly organised house, with all the washing done and beautifully prepared meals, while ds coos peacefully in his bouncy chair

• That I'll have the time and energy to be curling my hair every morning

• That I will not freak out about poopy nappies

The only myth I wish I hadn't swallowed about babies was that they all nap by themselves in Moses basket for at least an hour twice a day at regular and predictable intervals, allowing their mother to meet basic standards of personal and domestic hygiene.

LeQueen I don't think you are bringing anyone down here, just conveying a really important message, that PND can hit anyone no matter what their circumstances. V.important contribution here imo.

yy Effjay and LeQueen. It seems so common for women with PND not to realise until late on or even after they've recovered from it. I've had two friends this has happened to and just met a third who told me about her awful first year of struggling on and not realising that she had PND.

I actually had the opposite problem in a way - whilst pg, I'd imagined that life with a baby would be hell, PND was almost inevitable, I'd never go out again, I'd look terrible forever more etc. I'm not sure where I got these ideas from as I'm usually Ms Positive but I don't have a great relationship or bond with my mother so maybe that played a part.

Of course the reality couldn't live up to the horror I'd pictured so I actually found it all a breeze - despite having a colicky creature who didn't sleep!

I thought that:

I would get the kind of birth I wanted

I would love my baby the minute I saw him

I would be able to breastfeed

The baby would be sleeping through the night reliably by 6 months

I would never give my baby a dummy or let him watch tv

I also didn't realise what an ace mum I would be: I am brilliant!

nkvddon't listen,,all babies are not the same,and we all have different experiences.

I was told the same,that they never sleep,that it only gets better after a year,blah blah,,my DD slept through the night at 6 weeks,in her own room at 2months,and we never did co sleeping,since birth she was by our bedside in her moses basket,right now as i am on mumsnet,she is playing in her play pen,she is 4,5months and adorable,still sleeping through the night and now introducing some little food,

enjoy just being pregnant and the baby and your self will get to know each other,and it will be wonderful,,all the best,its not that bad,there is devine pleasure in looking after your own baby.

I set my expectations really low for DS1...I told myself that if I was out of pjs by the time he was a month old I was doing well...as it was I was dressed the following week as I had a really routine, feeding, sleeping well (although two night feeds for 4 months) baby.

The problem I have now is that my expecations for DC2 (36 weeks and counting) are now, well maybe a bit high? Once she is here she will fit into our routine and I'll be able to use my mat leave to decorate the house, puruse my photography hobby, see all my friends...

Surely I SHOULD know better?!

My expectations for forthcoming baby are that a) I will carry on working from home a few days a week and earning money b) breastfeeding will come easyily. How my friends with babies laugh...

I must say that I was expecting it to be a living hell. The birth was, however the four months since have been fantasic and I've coped much better than I expected to.

Moral of the story - expect the worst, it will almost certainly be better.

Well, I thought that I'd get everything done while on maternity leave that I didn't have time for before - plus some EXTRAORDINARILY creative thinking. I now realise that I wasted time procrastinating and can do things (or make it up)or just not do anything in a fraction of the time that it took in the before life.