Why would you wait till 2 years old?

[JingleJangle7]

I was just cruising for tips such as when will my 14 month old be able to hold in wees for more than 1/2h (she does at some times of the day) everyone elses kids seem to be much older which I find quite wierd.

We started putting DD on the potty at 4 months because I got fed up of scraping poo off her back every morning and from 13 months she's been in towelling trainer pants even at creche. We're good with poo (mainly), I think we have a more than 50% wee in potty rate and she's dry at naps. We have a lot of accidents but we're learning as she gains control. Now what we need is for her to tell us when she needs to go.
Toddlers really did used to get trained at 12-18 months (>90% by 18 months in the 1950s) in the days of terry towelling nappies that mum had to wash. Nappies cost a forture, why do most people seem to wait so long scrapping poo of bums for years longer than they need to? I don't mean to be patronising, I'm just baffled.

Because if you do it too young you're just catching it, not training them, two different things. One is them having control, the other is you putting them in the right place at the right time.

And speaking personally, I think trying to train very young toddlers puts an unfair amount of pressure on them just to save the parents a bit of money and hassle. People used to give rice in the bottle at 2 weeks old too. Not everything in the '50s was good. There's far more to be said for letting them do things at their own pace, not just because you don't fancy scraping poo off a bum.

because my dc simply werent ready before 2 and a half, dd2 took longer and she was 3 before she got it.

And because I'm not in such a hurry for my children to grow up and I don't actually mind scraping poo of bums.

I can't understand why people are in such a hurry to toilet train so early actually

I'm with sheep on this one (love the name BTW)

because they arent robots

Whoop de doo for you.

Let's just hope your DD doesn't harbour any lasting resentments, hey? I don't mean to be patronising, btw, I'm just baffled...

Good for you OP, if that works for you and your DD - it just doesnt happen that way for a lot of us. My DD was nowhere near ready at 2.

Its not a race.

In with sheep too. In fact I'd prefer it to be closer to 3 than 2.

I genuinely don't get why people try to do it earlier, I think that's weird .

And to say, 'I don't mean to be patronising' means that you really think that people who do wait longer are in the wrong.

It's so much easier later than earlier IME.

It's not about an age. It's about a readiness.

When your child is ready, go for it. Some will do it earlier, some will do it later. Two years is a ball-park figure, not a rule.

Oh, and the years gone by thing is much to do with feeling damp and uncomfortable through the terry nappies. There isn't the same feeling through disposables ...

OP look up elimination communication - some people still do the earlier method. Generally you get the people who do it early saying "Eh?? Why would you wait?!" and the people who stick to more conventional timescales saying "Eh?? Why would you bother?!" and everyone gets offended and it all goes terribly wrong...

But yeah, I don't think one way is necessarily better than the other. But if you want to find other people doing it your way then "elimination communication" is what you need to google.

Er, DS was three and a half before he was ready. On the plus side, he went dry day and night straight away, we never had any accidents.

Back in the 1950s where mums were washing terry nappies by hand there was possibly a bit more incentive!

According to my stepmum, she never left the house when hers were young, she certainly never fed them away from home, just sat them on their potties for half the day!!

btw OP you aren't having accidents. well at least your daughetr isn't, maybe you aren't putting her on teh potty at the right time but she definitely isn't having accidents at 14 months. she isn't capable of controlling her bladder.

Because they're not ready? Because there's no rush? Because they'd rather let their child take the lead? Because they have no problem changing nappies for another year? Lots of reasons, personally I didn't see any urgency so just left it until DD seemed ready. She was 2 when it happened, but still in nappies at night until she was 4.5. I would've been happy to leave it a bit longer if needed.

similar here Bitter - DD wasn't at all interested until she'd just turned 3. had 2 accidents one morning and then was dry, and dry at night the next week.

I'd been worrying for ages about her being so late, but I'm glad now I didn't have to go through the effort of taking her to the loo every hour. what a faff.

That's funny, my own mother recalls wetting the bed until she was 10....

And I was absolutely adament that Ds2 was a gifted speaker as a toddler until my friend reminded me of how worried I was when he was 18 months and only said 6 words. One of which was "Doh"

Why would you wreck your baby's life, and probably give them piles, by sitting them on the potty every 10 minutes for 2 years ie: until they actually gain some bladder control, rather than the knowledge that they are about to void it?

I get hacked off when people say to me Isn't it about time dd2 was dry at night..

I'm so bloody happy that she is just toilet trained at 3 and a half to even think about night times.

My stepdaughter still wets the bed at 7

Cause who want to fuck around for months on end trying to "catch" poo and wee when you can just get it over and done with in three days when they are READY?

Also I don't think you are really baffled at all you're just being smug. It's like when people are "baffled" as to why parents tolerate fussy eaters when in fact they are just having a smug moment about how their own children will eat anything and it's down to their jolly good parenting.

I know that because by the way because I was a smug turd about ds1's broad palate. Fortunatly ds2 came along to bring me down a peg or two

Not sure where the extra because came from

hurray for connortraceptive.

baffled my arse.

My mother claims that I was potty trained at 12 mths. I wonder how I asked to go or decided I needed to go when I could neither walk nor talk.

We also left it late with my 2 - over 3 yrs and never had to use towelling trainers or mop up accidents either. It took 3 or 4 days and it was done. No more accidents. We didn't have to be 'good with poo' - once trained the boys knew when they wanted to go and went and did it. Surely if your DD is potty trained then she is the one good with poo too? And besides, I would rather scrap poo off them than off a potty although thankfully by leaving it late, we barely used a potty at all.

I don't see your hurry either. You have already had 10 months of trying to predict your DD's bodily functions and probably face several more before she can do it for herself and properly potty train, not have you in charge. I don't see what great advantage you have achieved. Fine if you want to do it that way but not everybody would agree and are equally baffled by your approach.

14 months = toilet reflex

2 years upwards (often older for boys) = toilet *training8

I'm sure you could Google it, OP, if you don't want to be baffled

"Now what we need is for her to tell us when she needs to go"...aye, and there's the rub, OP.

Ds still isn't doing this reliably at almost 4. Maybe I should be walloping him more. I believe it worked wonders for people in the 1950s

I find that many people misremember when their child was potty trained, once that child is an adult.

I remember my cousin in nappies on his second birthday. My aunt gleefully tells his wife he was dry by 18months.

And if I had the choice of soaking and palavering about with terry nappies, or changing clothes and bunging them in the machine several times a day, I know what I'd choose.