Why would you wait till 2 years old?

[JingleJangle7]

I was just cruising for tips such as when will my 14 month old be able to hold in wees for more than 1/2h (she does at some times of the day) everyone elses kids seem to be much older which I find quite wierd.

We started putting DD on the potty at 4 months because I got fed up of scraping poo off her back every morning and from 13 months she's been in towelling trainer pants even at creche. We're good with poo (mainly), I think we have a more than 50% wee in potty rate and she's dry at naps. We have a lot of accidents but we're learning as she gains control. Now what we need is for her to tell us when she needs to go.
Toddlers really did used to get trained at 12-18 months (>90% by 18 months in the 1950s) in the days of terry towelling nappies that mum had to wash. Nappies cost a forture, why do most people seem to wait so long scrapping poo of bums for years longer than they need to? I don't mean to be patronising, I'm just baffled.

DD was potty trained at 2.5 and ds at 3. There was no point in training them until they were ready as it put too much pressure on me and on them.

I waited until they were aware they were wet or dirty, showed interest in the potty/ toilet and started taking their nappies off to wear big boy/ girl pants/ knickers. They were potty trained in a week day and night.

Whereas one of my friends "potty trained" her girls at 12 months and they were still in nappies at 5 at night because they had no muscles to hold it in. It was a case of knowing their toilet routines rather than the girls knowing when they needed to go.

We tried before ds was 2 after he was showing signs of 'knowing' when he was doing the toilet.

So we did the whole potty thing and pants - but it was a farce. He's just not ready. Which is fair enough - I'm not going to push him until he is! In fact I think we pushed him back a bit in our efforts - he is more reluctant to go on the potty now than ever before. But he will get better - he is still very young!

So we are just going to bide our time and sit it out - I would be happy to wait as long as it takes.
14 months - there is just no way. Not a snowdrops chance in hell.

We tried DD1 at about 22 months but she wasn't ready. We then tried again at 25 months and she did it!

That's the thing though, isn't it. Waiting until they're capable, not just pushing them for your own convenience.

Agree with everyone on here. It's about them understanding they need to go and what the potty is for. My dd is 2 today, I tried her about 2months ago and she would happily sit on the potty for 20mins at a time but nothing ever happened because she didn't understand what she was supposed to do.
Tried again with her 2weeks ago and she was dry during the day on day 4. Now she pulls her own trousers down, she doesn't ask to go, she just does it herself.
You can't expect a 14 month old to do that, I never even thought of trying!

DS2 is 2.5. Refuses to go near potty. Cool with it - DS1 was closer to 3 when he did it.

Waited till he was ready and we got dry in a couple of days. Only had about 3 accidents with DS1 - usually when he left it too long to go. I know kids who 'trained' early who continued to have regular accidents when not reminded it's time to go!

Both DS's are advanced in other areas so don't see it as an issue.

We introduced my DS to the potty/toilet just before he turned 2. After several false starts, we gave up until a few months ago - he's now 3.2 and has just come through a horrible phase of constipation (treated with 3 kinds of medication ) as he just can't do it. For whatever reason, he's got a block that physically stops him being able to go on the toilet/potty, and until he learns to let go of that he's in pull-ups.

And yes I have tried many methods and read countless books, but until HE is ready I'll only be doing more damage by forcing it.

Am happy to scrape poo if I need to, I am after all his PARENT and his CARER and he RELIES ON ME to do it. That OK with you?

Oh, and the 'false starts' were purely down to me thinking he should be trained after pressure from various people who acted like there was something wrong with me/him for not being trained. I bloody wish I'd ignored the lot of them now, after having to hold my screaming toddler as he tried to pass a poo that made him bleed

Because I prefer to do toilet training rather than toilet timing.

I think the rest of us mortals wait until our children are 2 (or 3) because we are clearly not as clever as you and not nearly such good parents. Our children are probably a bit dimmer than your child too, especially around the bowels. Is that that the sort of response you were hoping for?

One of the points EC is founded on is that infants have some awareness of when they are eliminating right from birth & that in fact they learn not to act on this but rather learn to go in nappies (TT in reverse).

In EC the primary carer picks up on very subtle signals that the infant is about to go (eg squirming, tensing) & associates that with a cue that can be communicated by the infact pre-verbally (sound or sign). If the baby is worn in a carrier or held most of the time & the carer is ultra-attentive then the subtle signs can be picked up on. This is how it was done in earlier times when babies had to be carried around cos they were left on the ground they were eaten or rolled into a fire, whatever, & is still done amongst lower-tech peoples today (& those trying the full version of westernised EC techniques).

"I don't mean to be patronising"
Yet you do it so well.

My DS is 3. He still hasnt got it yet.

'We started putting DD on the potty at 4 months because I got fed up of scraping poo off her back every morning.'

Why did you have a baby? Were you unaware this would be the case? Perhaps you should have got a kitten instead.

To put pressure on a BABY to be dry for more than half an hour is, IMO, pretty cruel. She is physically incapable of doing this.

Will you be trying to teach her to read when she's 2, because you're 'fed up' of reading her bedtime stories?

you got 'fed up' by 4 months?? goodness. my baby is 4 months old, i find that if i change her nappy as soon as possible after its dirty i dont need to scrape, it wipes quite easily!
just out of curiosity though, how do you react to her 'accidents'?

Children are all different, some are able to be toilet trained earlier than others & some later just as some walk or talk earlier & later.

DD1 was trained in a week at 20 months DD2 is 19 months & just starting to be interested she tells me when she is doing a poo & is very keen to do a wee on the toilet like her big sister. I'm guessing she will be ready to start to train in a month or 2 - (although to be honest I'd rather wait until after we've been on holiday at the end of November & even possibly until after christmas - we'll have to see if she is content to wait though!)

HOWEVER despite dd1's relitavely early training I concur with the others on this thread in that potty training needs to follow the childs capabilities & understanding if it isn't to be frustration filled for parent AND child.

OP many children can hold a wee for this amount of time at this age - the problem is that they cannot communicate properly or understand the relatively complicated porspect of the toilet/potty hence why a nappy is required. What you are doing toilet timing which is fine if you are happy with it & the concequences; - your dd does not have accidents she can't possibly if she is not yet able to tell you when she wants to go..

LOL giddyup at 'dimmer around the bowels'

Thankyou for that laugh, this thread (and another PT one currently in active convos) have had me in tears just now, you've cheered me up :)

Somehow, I have a sneaking suspicion that the OP isn't going to come back!

If she was looking for a round of applause she was in for a shock.

I'm not too convinced it was a round of applause she was after at all. i think this was more a case of light the blue touch paper and stand well back.

idiot. (OP, not you niecie)

I would give a round of applause to the OP actually. because anybody who can actually be arsed to do 'toilet timing' must have the patient of a saint!

Bit of rubbish trivia here but it used to be a criteria that to be a bomb disposal expert in the army you had to be toilet trained at 18 months No idea why that was the case but it has stayed with me much like all the other nonsense that no one needs to know but I manage to hang on to

How on earth did they prove that, asdx?

Did they used to issue certificates or something?

op, you are just cathcing it

crazy imo opinion

my first two were 3 and 5 before they got it

but gecko was 2 weeks before her second birthdya and she did it all herself day and night

kids aren't robots and training is different form catching it

I think the idea of sitting a 4 month old on a potty is cruel.
The poor child isn't potty trained as a 50% accident ratio will prove. I suspect she'll take longer to eradicate the accidents as well given the approach.
I've just potty trained DS, he's 2.7 but I wouldn't have even considered it at 1 let alone 4 months.

good grief, overreaction or what?

elimination communication is done by a LOT of people.
i know 2 myself who did EC with their little ones and they were totally toilet trained by 18 months
maybe they'd have done it anyway? who knows, but they certainly didn't have their lives "wrecked" (colditz!) they didn't have piles,..... they're happy little children, just like any others

what's so wrong with people doing EC if that's what they choose?
personally it isn't something i could be arsed to do, but i certainly wouldn't judge anyone else for wanting to

the way you lot have reacted makes it sound like she's abusing the poor child. get a grip!