Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Why would you wait till 2 years old?

185 replies

JingleJangle7 · 06/10/2010 22:47

I was just cruising for tips such as when will my 14 month old be able to hold in wees for more than 1/2h (she does at some times of the day) everyone elses kids seem to be much older which I find quite wierd.

We started putting DD on the potty at 4 months because I got fed up of scraping poo off her back every morning and from 13 months she's been in towelling trainer pants even at creche. We're good with poo (mainly), I think we have a more than 50% wee in potty rate and she's dry at naps. We have a lot of accidents but we're learning as she gains control. Now what we need is for her to tell us when she needs to go.
Toddlers really did used to get trained at 12-18 months (>90% by 18 months in the 1950s) in the days of terry towelling nappies that mum had to wash. Nappies cost a forture, why do most people seem to wait so long scrapping poo of bums for years longer than they need to? I don't mean to be patronising, I'm just baffled.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
thisisyesterday · 07/10/2010 19:38

oh and as a previous poster said, this method of dealing with baby's waste is still done in many developing countries where they just don't have nappies or they're too expensive.

it isn't about "training" them as such, it's just an alternative way of dealing with it than catching it in a nappy.
but babies whose parents do EC I guess do learn to feel when they need to go earlier than others because they have been used to going on a potty/toilet whenever that urge occurs from a very early age

a friend of mine ended up doing EC because her baby would get incredibly agitated every single time she needed to go to the toilet if she had a nappy on. it was quite bizarre, but when she started EC baby was fine!

Easywriter · 07/10/2010 19:50

Ha! OP. Ha!

My MIL is a bit like you, she swears blind that DP and DP's brother never had any accidents when they were potty training!!

(I think she is under the delusion that I am to be crowned the Queen of Sheba next week too).

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 19:52

thisisyesterday what 'lot' are you referring to? every poster on this thread who has responded with less than support for OP?

the reaction has been as a result of OP's smugness and also her delusion that she is actually toilet training her child rather than just catching the wee and poo 50% of the time.

also the fact that she referred to parents who wait longer than she has to start 'training' as weird. not a great idea when the people you are talking about are also the people you are talking to.

thisisyesterday · 07/10/2010 19:55

i was referring to all the posters who have reacted as though the OP is doing some awful damage to her child

i don't think she was smug, just genuinely interested in why people generally wait until at least 2.... what's wrong with that?

CoupleofKooks · 07/10/2010 19:58

children do have control when they are babies, it's just that we leave them to do it in nappies, so they stop bothering to give the signals that they need to go

i found this really surprising (it's not common knowledge any more in our society) but it is true
it's amazing when you see it in action! agree that googling elimination communication will give you the info you want
it isn't straight potty training, or timing, but something slightly different

withorwithoutyou · 07/10/2010 20:03

OP - your answer is in your original question:

"We have a lot of accidents"

I don't fancy scrubbing piss of my cream wool carpet or following my two year old round with a potty while I'm trying to feed her baby sister.

But if you enjoy it then good for you.

(thisisyesterday I PMed you a very boring question about car seats, don't know if you've seen it!)

KaraStarbuckThrace · 07/10/2010 20:04

thisisyesterday - I think what is getting people's back up is the OP is trying to pass it off a potty training, but as you quite rightly pointed out EC is 'dealing with baby's waste'. Not really the same thing!

DS is 2yrs 9mo, and it is only in the last week or so he has been talking about doing wee and poo on the potty. I'm planning to attempt potty training next week but if he really objects then we will wait a bit longer.

Yeah it is a pain (especially as he is in cloth nappies) but I really do believe that it is better when the child can play an active part in potty training by getting on the potty and telling parents when they need to go. And this appears to be supported by most of the people on this thread.

I think the OP sounds very smug I'm afraid!

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 20:15

the OP is being smug

"everyone elses kids seem to be much older which I find quite wierd. "

"why do most people seem to wait so long scrapping poo of bums for years longer than they need to? I don't mean to be patronising, I'm just baffled."

thisisyesterday · 07/10/2010 20:17

weird=unusual? how is that smug?

and to be fair, if you found what you thought was an easier, cleaner way of dealing with the shit then you would be pretty baffled at why everyone else seems happy to keep scraping shit off nappies/bums for years wouldn't you?

thisisyesterday · 07/10/2010 20:19

btw, mine have all trained post 2 years... so am not some elimation communication-y type person myself

clearly am reading the OP in a completely different way to the rest of you though!

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 20:24

because it isn't actually unusual to wait til after 2 to toilet train your child and OP was using it in a negative rather than descriptive way.

calling someone weird is not generally received well.

and no i wouldn't be baffled at all that people waited til their children were ready to train before starting. it just makes sense.

and FWIW, i tried EC with ds1 and just didn't get on with it. i didn't think people that did do it were weird though, it just didn't work for us.

scottishmummy · 07/10/2010 20:30

isnt baby olympics 1st poop in potty wins!i potty trained when dc were ready.and all all over 30months when we cracked it. take your cue from the child too

yes yes all the granny grunt claims of ole days
weaning at 8 weeks
pooping on potty at 1yo
cludgie at 18mths
skipping to shop for grans fag/gin,as soon as they can walk toddle

EdgarAllInPink · 07/10/2010 20:30

"I'm sure some kids are ready at 18m. Just not the majority"

no. the majority of children in other countries have bowel control at 18 months old and are not just out of nappies and being EC'd, but choose when they wee. I worked in a kindergarten with a very young intake - out East. They had a few accidents, sure, but in a group of 20 2-3 year olds you'd expect maybe 1-2 accidents a day. It was something of a scandal amongst the teachers when a 20monther came in still in nappies....

UK/US kids are just trained later as a matter of parental choice - now. They weren't 30 years ago, and todays toddler is not physically different to the toddler of 30 years ago.

when you train, and what method you choose - is completely up to you of course.

the method the OP describes is EC - but probably by 18mo, if she persists, they'll be genuinely toilet trained. I certainly wouldn't be arsed with it, because you can do a week or two at 18mo to achieve the same effect - a child that chooses to wee on the loo/potty and is genuinely loo trained.

just because you have chosen not to do this, there is no need to allege that is impossible, or that others have in some way abused their child by doing this - in fact those people that have implied that need to get some perspective.

unless you consider the giving of chocolate buttons a form of abuse, no toddlers were harmed in the writing of this post

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 20:34

what's a cludgie????

BertieBotts · 07/10/2010 20:35

ThisIsYesterday I see it too. I think the OP worded her post unfortunately (have done it myself and been jumped on in the past) but I think she genuinely was being curious rather than scathing.

She wasn't saying "OMG, anyone who waits until later to toilet train is STUPID!" which seems to be what everyone is hearing. She was saying "This way seems much easier to me, I am curious as to why people would wait longer." Maybe she is from a culture which practices EC and hasn't come across the Western approach to TT until now?

I'm not surprised she has disappeared with the venomous reception she has been given!

OrmRenewed · 07/10/2010 20:37

What a strange OP Hmm

But I think she will have got the message by now.

scottishmummy · 07/10/2010 20:39

waited til @30mth and potty tarined in 5 days

Horton · 07/10/2010 20:47

I think we have a more than 50% wee in potty rate

I'm sorry, but in my book a 50% wee in potty rate isn't potty trained, OP. Potty trained is when they only have an accident when there is a proper reason for it (like being too far from a loo to hold it in) and only then once in a while.

I waited until about 2 and 3 months to train my daughter. She was dry day and night inside a week and since then has only had accidents when very very poorly with diarrhoea (can count these on the fingers of one hand) and once when she pooed in her pants because we were absolutely miles from a loo and she just suddenly had to go (a few months after starting the process). She has had maybe two wee-related accidents in the past two years. And FWIW, I considered her fairly young at 2 and 3 months for the whole thing and wouldn't have been at all surprised if it had taken quite a while for her to get the hang of it.

pistachio · 07/10/2010 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrmRenewed · 07/10/2010 21:04

Child 1 - did it a 2 years and it was a nightmare. He wasn't dry until he was nearly 3 and after a tummy bug he wasn't 100% clean until he was 8 Hmm

Child 2 - 3 years and she did it overnight.

Child 3 - 3.5 years and he also did it overnight.

That is why some people leave it so long.

sweetkitty · 07/10/2010 21:06

DD1 we started at 22 months at her insistence was a nightmare we now know she has a weak bladder, took over a year for her to have no accidents in a week. DD2 was left to 2 1/2 due to me being pregnant she went straight onto the toilet no accidents after 2 days. DD3 I think I will wait until she takes off her nappy and sits on the toilet herself.

scottishmummy · 07/10/2010 21:30

what is cludgie

Wanderingsheep · 07/10/2010 21:46

My friend decided to "train" her DS as soon as he turned 2 with the "just stick them in pants and don't put another nappy on ever again" method. He was pooing and peeing everywhere. I myself thought, "sod that for a game of soldiers" and much to my DH's dismay and protesting that we trained DD, I decided to wait until DD decided that she wanted to use the potty (any suggestion if her going on the potty led to her in tears or screaming and tantruming and I didn't want her to become afraid of it). One day at aged 2 and a half, DD suddenly decided that she wanted to use the potty and we have never looked back! She has been dry ever since during the day (barring a few accidents where she's been so into playing she's forgotten). My friend's son was only dry by the time DD was dry so it took them much longer. DD is now dry at night, friend's DS is not...

So ner! Grin

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 21:47

thanks SM

sheepgomeep · 07/10/2010 21:47

How can it be 'an easier cleaner way'of dealing with poo?

Try having 4 children to contend with. Doing EC with my 5 month old baby whilst trying to deal with my older 3 would be my idea of hell.

And cleaning poo and pee out of a carpet.. how is that cleaner than a nappy exactly?