Why would you wait till 2 years old?

[JingleJangle7]

I was just cruising for tips such as when will my 14 month old be able to hold in wees for more than 1/2h (she does at some times of the day) everyone elses kids seem to be much older which I find quite wierd.

We started putting DD on the potty at 4 months because I got fed up of scraping poo off her back every morning and from 13 months she's been in towelling trainer pants even at creche. We're good with poo (mainly), I think we have a more than 50% wee in potty rate and she's dry at naps. We have a lot of accidents but we're learning as she gains control. Now what we need is for her to tell us when she needs to go.
Toddlers really did used to get trained at 12-18 months (>90% by 18 months in the 1950s) in the days of terry towelling nappies that mum had to wash. Nappies cost a forture, why do most people seem to wait so long scrapping poo of bums for years longer than they need to? I don't mean to be patronising, I'm just baffled.

my dd1 was potty trained AND dry at night at 17 months, i didnt train her i just noticed her nappies were always dry every morning and that she would say when she needed a wee or poo during the day and that was it no trouble at all and never a wet bed and she is nearly 9 now.

my ds was only trained at nearly 3 and a half and is still in nappies at night now and is nearly 4, he just wasnt ready and untill i saw the signs that he was ready i just left it.if i had done it too early it would have stressed both me and him out so i waited and it didnt take long at all, he is clean and dry every day but once in a blue moon he has an accident.

all children are different there is definitely no right or wrong age for them to be potty trained

I think the idea of putting a 4 month old baby on a potty is positively barmy and possibly cruel to be quite honest.

Let babies be babies, why the need for them to be walking, talking and potty trained by the time they are 1. They will all get there in the end.

I don't get the problem people have with other people trying EC - my little guy gets held over the sink when it's roughly pooping time (after feeds, when he's just woken etc) and it saves me cleaning up a baby with wipes (I can rinse him off with warm water and my hand instead), and him spending any time sitting in poo - plus the benefit of fewer nappies used, and fewer clothes dirtied by explosions (and fidgeting)

It's not cruel - there's no coercion (just more hugs with mummy while waiting), I can't see why it would be harming the child in any way at all - nappies didn't always exist!

Over the sink for poop augur hope it's not the kitchen sink

I waited until DD was ready to potty train herself as it was far more convenient for me, and for nursery.

To me EC is about the parent being trained to pop a potty or toilet under the child at just the right time. I didn't want to be stuck to such a rouine and having to constantly be watching my child for signs. And nursery wouldn't have been able to do that either when they had her.

My DD was 24 months when she was PT fully. She decided one day that she wanted big girl pants and she led it herself. She was fully dry, during the day time, within 2-3 days. There was no fuss. There was no real work involved. There were no more than a handful of accidents at most. It was quick andpianless and we were out and about during that time. DD was totally nd utterly ready - she could tell us in words and she could take herself to her potty and pull down (loose) clothing.

IMO waiting til the child is ready is far less hassle and much less mess.

And don't believe all your mums and grandparets about when babies were potty trained int he past. Most weren't! Nappies did exist in the 60s and 70s and there were definitely used as much as they are now, albeit it they were predominately reuseables. MIL said that her boys were no PTd til they were nearly 3 (or was it just over 3y) and that was quite normal in the 70s.

We're having a couple of accidents a day but at 14 months there is no shame or embarrasment whereas for an older child there is. I wonder from reading all the threads from parents of 3-4 year olds and older whether waiting till two really is a good plan. DD's day already includes toilet stops so she's used to having to break off play to go. Maybe all you train-at-twoers are the lucky ones who's toddlers were very receptive to toilet training.

I watched my 18 month old nephew take himself off to the potty, sit there for a while and then get off stinking with a poo in his nappy. He'd received no toilet training but he knew fine well how it worked; noone had bothered to help him do it properly. Who says they're not ready before two!

I have no problem with EC and I don't think it's wierd. I do think the OP's OP was very rude and very patronising. And the second post above is not much better!

"Shame or embarrasment" at 3 or 4. Really? That's very unkind.

I read Nanny Knows Best, by a now dead nanny who started work in the 30s. Now, this woman sounded LOVELY. totally child-centred, slept with her charges when they were scared or had nightmares, never punished, was only interested if they were happy BUT....tied her children to the potty after meals until they 'produced'!!!!!
I think this is what was meant by 90per cent potty trained in the 1950s. I suspect in other households there was a fair bit of beating going on. One of my children was totally independent with toileting when they were two, another took much, much longer. All children are different, and you cannot force a child to be fully continent if they genuinely are not developmentally ready.

oh yes OP totally agree .... and why the fuck do these cretins wait until their kids are 18 to do A levels? much more sensible to get them to do them at 3-6 months, that way they can have their PHD by the time they are 8 and have a mortgage and a Career before they are 9.

Fucking idiot parents missing the boat all the time!

lol at three year olds showing 'shame'!! I wish! Mine would show their bums to anyone at that age!

this is possibly the finest thread in the history of MN

Why would you do it at 2yo, its easier when they're 4! Patronising, smug OP.

@viva ..... actually it wasn't the OPs' 14 month old using mommy's account........ she gets bored when she has read all the books in the library and run out of ingredients to make cakes etc..

Op are you for real, there is absolutely no shame at all in waiting until the child is physically and emotioally ready, whether that is 18 months or 3.5 years. The only shame is you! I tried to train my dd at various stages, 2, 2.5, 2.11 she was not ready, did not understand, could not make a connection, was getting upset, I was getting upset so we waited until the summer when she was 3.2 bingo she was ready and did it quickly. Its people like you that make other parents feel bad and put pressure on little ones before they are ready. You sound so smug, noway would I want to be poo scraping and wee everywhere, for a year when I can wait until the child is actually ready and be done in a week.

Oh and for your info a little biology lesson, at the moment you are only catchig wees, the nerves connecting the brain and bladder have not matured yet so you will be cleaning up for a awful long time.

Is it just me who reads that most the ones who potty trained 'later' (or when child is ready) sound a bit rude, much worse than the OPs post? As though it's hit some really bad spot with most MNer. Thisisyesterday, you're right, badly worded post from OP.

Unfortunately for me, I started early-ish at 19months but DS is still not potty trained now after 9 months, in fact those that started potty training a month ago are nearly there whereas DS is still having constant accidents. It doesn't bother me too much normally because we didn't push him to do it at all and in fact have on many occassions tried to get him back into nappies but failed. He's asked for the toilet since 19 months and and still enjoys telling us "I need wee-wee", and we on the other hand also enjoy seeing his beaming face as he goes upstairs to use the toilet on his own. So despite all the accidents we get(I'm the one getting really fed up.. grrr..), it's still worth it because it makes our lives so much easier when out and about as we manage to 'catch' most wee and poo rather than changing nappies. But that's just our personal preference.

Not sure if I agree with a comment I saw saying EC gives them poorer bladder control. When we first start PT, DS was wee-ing on average every 30 minutes to 1 hour, unless he was asleep in which case he could hold it for hours including dry nappies after nap and in the mornings. So, even in nappies, he didn't wait for his bladder to get full before weeing. After a short few weeks of PT, he became far more aware of bladder control and his wee was then every 2-3 hours. The only problem we have now is nursery taking him to the toilet every 30 minutes, so he's started doing that again.

I have told DH that with my next DC I will wait till DC is at least 3 no matter how much he/she asks for the toilet like my DS did. But I guess that's a bit cruel. :)

Oh and my dd knows no shame, why should she at 2-3 years, she is still a baby, you are horrid you really are op.

AnonMum I have tried to be as polite as I can, but when the op is derogatory, e.g.

"but at 14 months there is no shame or embarrasment whereas for an older child there is" this really made me . Why should a toddler feel shame

They all get there in the end, you cant tell in a class of 6 year olds who was ready at 18 months or were later.

Ninthwave

Ds1 had exactly the same issue. First disastrous attempt coincided/resulted in terrible constipation which continued for a good year.

Eventally, movicol and completely laid back approach worked. At 3 and a half he wasn't ready. 2 or 3 months later ( by which time he was pooing without pain or fear) he was ready. All done in a couple of days.

I look back tothat time and he was so unhappy and introverted. Now he's back to his old self and brimming with confidence.

I wish I'd ignored other people and not compared him o dd WHo was trained at 2 and a half. :(

A couple of accidents a day is NOT potty trained, OP. Potty trained is a couple of accidents a year, IMO.

agree with Horton .... fucking hell, what if your "litter trained" cat had a couple of accidents a day? It's feet would not touch!

Pooka it's so horrible, isn't it. We've been giving him Movicol and he's much more regular now, plus they don't hurt him any more - he even did a poo at preschool yesterday and today, which is a BIG deal for him as he had been withholding to quite an extent.

We haven't mentioned PT again, but he knows there are some brand new pants with cowboys on(!) waiting for him when he would like to try for himself.

Thankyou for your message, it's easy to read threads like this and think he's the only one/there's somethng wrong with him or me :(

Interesting thread especially as I'd been wondering how to even start PT. DD1 is only 9 months so too young but DH's grandmother never fails to remind me she held her 3 boys on a potty from birth and all were PT by a year (really??) But then she always manages to get a mild dig in at the fact since birth I've always been out and about with DD and went back to work 4 days a week when she was 12 weeks old (bad mum!).
Anyway in my case it'll be MiL who has DD while I'm at work, who will no doubt have to deal with PT more than me so I'll just follow her lead!