Why would you wait till 2 years old?

[JingleJangle7]

I was just cruising for tips such as when will my 14 month old be able to hold in wees for more than 1/2h (she does at some times of the day) everyone elses kids seem to be much older which I find quite wierd.

We started putting DD on the potty at 4 months because I got fed up of scraping poo off her back every morning and from 13 months she's been in towelling trainer pants even at creche. We're good with poo (mainly), I think we have a more than 50% wee in potty rate and she's dry at naps. We have a lot of accidents but we're learning as she gains control. Now what we need is for her to tell us when she needs to go.
Toddlers really did used to get trained at 12-18 months (>90% by 18 months in the 1950s) in the days of terry towelling nappies that mum had to wash. Nappies cost a forture, why do most people seem to wait so long scrapping poo of bums for years longer than they need to? I don't mean to be patronising, I'm just baffled.

Jamaisejedors this thread is not nasty, the op was very patronising and judgemental about late potty trainers, and this topic is a very sensitive one for a lot of us who have had immense diffiuclties in potty training our little ones. I have nothing against ECers but the op was just being smug and patronising without knowing our different situations and children, that is what I have a problem with.

Domesticgoddess (and Horton)

I wasn't trying to be self-congratulatory about DS's bladder, just trying to point out that it doesn't DAMAGE a child's bladder as was purported earlier in the thread.

And I agree that dry at age 2 is normal (or used to be) and certainly achievable.

However in my immediate circle of friends the 'norm' seems to more like 3-3.5 in the day and up to 6/7 at night.

"For what benefit?"

For us, once we had read about EC, it made sense in a "listen to your baby telling you something" way i.e he was pooing when we took his nappy off, so why not "catch" it in a potty rather than train him to poo in his (cloth) nappy.

Why ignore his cues if you can see them?

I think people have a false idea of ec as putting the baby on a potty at specific times to a rigid schedule and imposing it on the baby.

For us it was the opposite, it was more like breast-feeding, where you "know" when the baby needs feeding and you (rarely) feed to a schedule.

It also seemed frankly more hygenic and less messy for us to clean a potty rather than a sticky bottom and wash a cloth nappy.

TBH I think it's very hard to understand when you haven't experienced it yourself, but if you haven't, why start making claims about babies being "damaged" by going on a potty?

And I agree that dry at age 2 is normal (or used to be) and certainly achievable.

Errrr each child is different, I will give you my dd then and see how sucessful you are. Tried my dd 3 times during her 2s at a month each time, she was displayed no progress, no understanding, and basically no interest of clue. Decided enough was enough in the summer when she was over 3 and showed signs of readiness, was able to understand more fully, and voila job done very quickly and less stress for me as she understood what she was meant to do and to read her bodies signals. I think that we put unesssary pressure on ourselves and our children. As long as they are out of nappies by the time they start school so be it.

why on earth would you sit a 4 month old on a potty??! I doubt the child can even properly sit up at this age,let alone be expected to control its bladder/bowels. Its exactly as others have said,its not control,or potty training,its simply catching it!! Others wait for the simple reasons that children around 2, DO have some control,and obviously much more awareness of needing to go,plus the added bonus that they can tell u! Theres nothing wrong with getting a child familiar with a potty early,and even sitting then on it ever morning etc,and 'catching a wee' but until around 2 a child is not going to have the control or understanding to manage being dry when your out and about day to day. And why at 4 months would u be fed up of 'scraping' poo off a child?? I figured that came with the territory.. I had a potty out frm when my little one was one and a half. At just about 25 26 months i started trying to get things going,and he wasnt having none of it. I stopped and gave it 2 more months,this time bingo.. No trouble at all,because he was ready! Few accidents as expected but we could go shopping,out 4 lunch etc and he was good as gold telling us. Dry at night the week after too,its just patience!

I didn´t read the op as offensive at all either. For those who EC it can be just as baffling that currently the majority of people prefer to let their children soil themselves before cleaning them as the idea of ecing is for those who use nappies.

Personally I understand why we use nappies, I did myself until ds was about 20mths, but I did also start a very loose, part time kind of ecing from 5/6months (AND worked full time for whoever was bludgeoning that donkey to death). I don´t really expect anyone else to understand although I don´t really see what is so hard to get about it. It ISN´T harder or more time consuming. It is actually quicker to allow your child to poo over a toilet, wipe their bum and put them back in a nappy than it is to clean a pooey bum. I really don´t see why people carry on insisting it is time consuming when it is so apparently the opposite.

Some actual FACTS about ECing from my experience:

• you can do this even if you (and your partner) work FT. The nursery was not involved in toileting him.

• It is no slower than changing a wet nappy and quicker than changing a pooey nappy

• If you do it part time and only pop your baby on the toilet/potty while you change their nappy you can leave them in nappies the rest of the time hence no wet/ dirty floors/furniture/puddles/ mess/ extra work

• If you use cloth as we did it can significantly reduce your washing

• if your child suffers nappy rash it can help to alleviate it

• those who EC don´t consider it wasted time (the: why take 2 years to train when you can wait til they are 2/3 and take 2 days? argument) because we aren´t trying to train them, we are just fostering a different approach to toilet habits. Why bother? because it made sense to me, it took no extra time or effort and reduced my washing and dirty nappy changes (and smelly nappies in bucket).

• those who EC on the whole don´t feel superior about their children´s capabilities, that is YOUR assumption. In RL I stay well out of potty training conversations as I have nothing useful to suggest to someone trying to train a 2 yr old who has never known anything except a nappy.

Babelfish translation of OP begins

blah blah blah blah I am a considerably better parent than you lot blah blah blah blah

Babelfish translation ends

Georgimama, you are confusing me with someone who bases their self esteem on their children´s behaviour/ milestones/ random ´accomplishments´ (most likely yourself). I don´t think where my child shits says anything about me as a person or as a parent. I am not sure why you would make the leap that i think it does.

Or maybe you are so busy judging others you assume everyone else is judging you?

Are you the OP? Name change a good idea, but coming back in new guise not clever. 0/10.

haha no i´m not i thought you were replying to my post of 20:13, weren´t you?

oh sorry just read you were replying to op and not my post. in which case apologies for my reply.