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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

Mother and baby unit -urgent

75 replies

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 19:08

Hi, has anyone been in an Mbu? Really concerned I am going to have to. How can I prevent this? Has anyone been forced to go in and why? Thank you.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Nat6999 · 18/05/2020 22:36

I had horrific pnd, but had enough support at home to avoid being in a MBU, the only advice I can give you is to talk to whoever will listen & stop thinking that you aren't a good mum, I know that is hard, but as long as your baby is clean, dry, warm & fed, then for the first months let the other things go, bonding can take ages, it took me a year to feel any real bond, up to then if anyone had said they would take him away & I could go back to how it was before I got pregnant, I would have snatched their hands off. Take small steps, even if it is only that you are going to brush your hair & clean your teeth, then slowly build up, have you Sure Start or anyone who could give you a break even for an hour so you could have a bath or a nap? If you are offered medication take it, it does help. Soon you will start having moments where you feel a bit more like yourself & they will get more often. Don't ever feel ashamed of having PND, it is a massive thing having a baby, your hormones go crazy, you are tired & are going through a big change, but things will get better.

SpillTheTeaa · 18/05/2020 23:54

That's okay. Sorry I can't offer more but I found those documentaries very interesting.
When are you due? How are you feeling today? x

Nat6999 · 19/05/2020 02:27

I've just read that you have been on & off your medication, when you start on an antidepressant, you need to stick with it, often the side effects wear off after a couple of weeks & you may need to have the dose adjusted until they find the right amount for you. Stopping & starting will make you feel worse. Don't worry if you have weird thoughts at first, that is entirely normal & will pass.

DancingLady · 20/05/2020 19:11

Hey Someone1987 how are you doing this week? Hope you're ok.

Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 19:55

@DancingLady thank you for asking , that's so kind. It's been a full on few days. I will read the other lovely comments in a moment.
It hasn't been great, had a really bad night and then messaged them , in a panic, saying I would like to be discharged. But have spoken to them since and debating my options. I can't make decisions. There is the crisis team but not sure what they do. Thank you for checking in on me x

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:00

@Wolfgirrl thank you for telling me more details. I'm sorry you had postnatal OCD, I can't imagine.
I have been given Sertaline. Need to take it properly.
How old was your baby when you went in if you don't mind me asking. In my area (or everywhere?)there's only help until the baby is one. Puts the pressure on I feel.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:02

@NeverTwerkNaked thank you, it's horrible feeling like this. Thanks for your comments x

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:04

@BuffaloCauliflower thank you.. I hadn't thought of it like that, that there would always be someone to talk to. And nightimes as they are particularly bad for me.
Bless you, you are right. I don't know why I am weird about it. But it is amazing that these things exist. Thank you for your kindness.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:07

@Theyweretheworstoftimes it's hard, but you got the help and although you could have done it earlier, you did it and that's brave. I'm glad things have improved. Thank you, you be kind to yourself too.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:12

@DancingLady thank you for sharing your experience. Oh wow, that must have felt strange being watched for 24 hours. But yeah, I can understand why.
Ah thats what I worried, like if you changed your mind, would they be funny about it. I guess a few days in they haven't assessed properly.
O that ward does sound scary. I know of someone who has been on an adult ward and she was pretty traumatised after. It's a shame that people can suffer further in these places.
Thank you so much, that is so kind of you to say. I've tried to be strong and not accept help all my life, it's hard to accept help. But ironically that's the strong thing to do! Thank you.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:18

@Nat6999 thank you for your kind and understanding comments. You are right. I just expected a rush of love and it didn't come and I overthink the bond thing and everything really. I need to see he is cared for and I do try, even if not feeling it inside. That's how I am/was. If someone took him away I'd be relieved, thank you for sharing that, it's something I feel awful about bit I know I am not alone in those feelings. I am going to restart my medication. I have my husband and he would let me have a bath etc. It's hard at the moment with the virus to seek extra help, everything is over the phone and I hate phonecalls!
Thank you for your comments

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ChelseaCat · 20/05/2020 20:19

Don’t have anything useful to add, just wanted to send supportive thoughts. I’m also a FTM who has also been finding things tough. You can get through this

Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:19

@SpillTheTeaa he is already here, nearly six months old. Though I did feel just as bad while pregnant. This has gone on a long time. Today had been calmer after a few awful days, thank you for asking. Hope you are ok x

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:22

@ChelseaCat hi, thank you for your
kind comment. I'm sorry you have found things tough too..being a mum is like nothing else and society feeds us this vision of happiness all the time. It just isn't the truth for so many people. How old is your little one?

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Fortheloveofscience · 20/05/2020 20:25

Someone1987 I've sent you a PM, hope you don't mind.

Original poster

Someone1987 · 20/05/2020 20:41

@Fortheloveofscience thank you, I don't mind at all, that's very kind of you.

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dublingirl653 · 20/05/2020 20:43

Oh my gosh

Sending you lots of love

Please listen to professionals
And continue to post here
Lots of great people on here ime

DancingLady · 20/05/2020 21:32

Sorry to hear it's been a rough few days. I cannot imagine looking after a baby (newborn or otherwise) under the lockdown with no outside help, from family or friends or even HV. Accept all help from your partner. And bonding can take time.

I just bought a book called Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts, which, if you can get past the Americanisms and weird font, is great about normalising all the crap parts of mothering.

Look after yourself. You will bond with your son, you will get your life back, and you will be your old self again, at some point.

NeverTwerkNaked · 20/05/2020 22:01

I am glad you have had a better day. I have been thinking about you. There are better days ahead I promise

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 20/05/2020 23:14

I am so sorry that you are having a tough time.

Please take your meds on schedule and stay on schedule, they will help you recover.

It does get better I prolonged the suffering by not taking the help and support. I suffered for so long and I hate to think that you are suffering when you can begin to recover. It will feel like Everest today. It will feel like you can't do it. But you can.

ChelseaCat · 21/05/2020 07:15

@Someone1987 - he’s almost five months now and I’m feeling like we’ve turned a bit of a corner. There’s no doubt lockdown isn’t helping though. Hope you’re doing ok

Original poster

Someone1987 · 22/05/2020 14:00

Hi all, I'm stressing as don't have a clue what's going on. I got referred to the crisis team and was quiet on the phone. She initially said I was cagey about my plans, which is worse. But then by the end she said she didn't think I need their service. Then MH nurse messages saying 'I'm glad to hear you are determined not to act on the thoughts'. So confused. it all began because they thought I'd written a suicide note!

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 22/05/2020 14:01

Thank you for all your kind words. I don't know what to do, not answer the phone? I don't really know what's going on. Ahhh

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BlackAndWhiteCat01 · 22/05/2020 14:28

My sister is in one with her baby. Its actually been the best thing for her, shes doing amazing! The staff are lovely!

Wolfgirrl · 22/05/2020 15:26

OP you can phone the MBU yourself and find out what is going on - the number for mine was on their website. I really really would very strongly reccomend it.

My baby was 4mo when we went in and 6mo when we left. She is healthy and very happy, she really thrived in there and settled in back at home in no time.

Please let us know how you get on

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