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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

Mother and baby unit -urgent

75 replies

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 19:08

Hi, has anyone been in an Mbu? Really concerned I am going to have to. How can I prevent this? Has anyone been forced to go in and why? Thank you.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MobLife · 17/05/2020 19:17

No, but I know a fair bit about MBUs
Why would you like to try and avoid it?
Do you want to tell us about what's been happening for you?

BuffaloCauliflower · 17/05/2020 19:18

A friend has and I have personal experience of other units. Are you ok? If this is being suggested it will be to keep you safe and help you get well, not something to be scared of.

Original poster

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 19:46

@MobLife @BuffaloCauliflower thank you for your replies.

I have been struggling with PND for 5 months. This is the second time it has been suggested. I am worried I will be sectioned. Would they come to my house and take me? I'd be grateful for any knowledge you have. Thank you.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 19:47

I want to avoid it because it's a mental health hospital and that terrifies me. The experience, the stigma, what it means..

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BuffaloCauliflower · 17/05/2020 20:30

@Someone1987 I’ve been in several mental health hospitals and I wouldn’t be here without them. What it means is you are unwell and need treatment and that’s ok and nothing to be ashamed of! If you had cancer or sepsis you would go to hospital, this is no different. Illnesses need treatment. I would say it’s more terrifying to keep feeling the way you must be feeling? Getting better is surely preferable?

If you are at risk of harming yourself and deemed unsafe then yes, they could decide to section you, it’s really easier and better for everyone if you can choose to go of your own free will. Trust me, I’ve been there!

Original poster

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 22:36

@BuffaloCauliflower thank you for replying. I do feel ashamed, I know these days there is less stigma, but it's hard to accept. That is true..I know what you mean. I just wanted to get better by myself.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Did you go voluntarily if you don't mind me asking? As I wonder if they can lure you in under that pretence but then not let you leave?

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HollowTalk · 17/05/2020 22:39

I'm so sorry you've got PND. I've had it and it's really shit.

If you need the help then grab the chance, OP. I hope you feel better soon.

Bubblebee7 · 17/05/2020 22:40

Can you speak to your health visitor? How are you feeling on a daily basis. Do you have anybody to support you at home.

BuffaloCauliflower · 17/05/2020 22:51

@Someone1987 I went voluntarily 5-6 times, it was the right thing to do. They can section you at any point if deemed necessary, but really it’s best if you’re there by choice and choosing to engage. There’s no shame in being ill and there’s no shame in getting treatment for an illness, you can’t magic yourself better from PND any more than you can magic away a heart attack at will. Getting the right treatment is so important for you and your baby. Who’s suggested a Mother and baby unit to you? They must be very concerned for your safety as places are in very short supply.

Original poster

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 22:52

@HollowTalk thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry you have had it too.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 22:54

@Bubblebee7 I speak to the health visitor regularly. I have my husband at home but he is due to go back to work soon. Thanks for your comment.

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Bubblebee7 · 17/05/2020 22:57

Having a new baby is really tough. I’m glad someone’s at home with you. There’s no shame at all I’m admitting you need some support.

Original poster

Someone1987 · 17/05/2020 22:58

@BuffaloCauliflower thank you for sharing that. I can understand it's better to comply but the thought of being locked in somewhere is terrifying, not to mention at the moment where they'll all be in PPE.
I see what you mean when you say it like that, it's also difficult as none of my family know and I don't want them finding out. This was a much longer for baby after fertility treatment and everyone was so happy for me that I got my miracle, I feel like I've ruined it.
It was the mental health nurse, via phone. Hadn't been mentioned for a while and she said about it last week and she is ringing back to discuss.

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Theyweretheworstoftimes · 17/05/2020 23:02

Please please take the help. I had horrific PTSD and PND and wish I had taken the mother and baby unit had been an option. You won't be judged. Please take the help.

taptonaria27 · 17/05/2020 23:08

It was a good experience for the person I know who went to one. I have no idea whether or not she was sectioned and nobody I know judged her for it (just in case that would worry you)

BuffaloCauliflower · 17/05/2020 23:09

@Someone1987 you haven’t ruined it at all, this isn’t within your control. It doesn’t mean you’re not happy to have your baby, and it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Brain chemicals can do crazy things to us! I’ve been there! But they need proper help to get square again. The sooner you get the right help the better and quicker it’s likely to be.

I will say in none of the hospitals I’ve been in I’ve never felt locked in, they don’t generally look and feel like hospitals either. You might well be surprised.

If not inpatient care - what are the alternatives? It sounds like you’re struggling a lot and I know you want things to get better not worse. Please reach out to your family, if you can’t cope with inpatient you’ll need lots of support and help at home. This is also ok! We all need help sometimes.

I also don’t want to scare you, but if things are really bad they could decide sectioning you is best for your safety and then you won’t have a choice, but that is always a last resort. It’s much better to go and get help within your own control. They only want you to feel better.

SpillTheTeaa · 17/05/2020 23:09

Please take the help offered to you. You will be okay. They just want to keep an eye on your and your baby. They are there to support you.

There are two documentaries I have watched called:

My baby, Psychosis and Me (they focused on M&BU)
&
Louis Theroux- Mother's on the edge.

Not sure if any will help you but people who have been in similar situations

BuffaloCauliflower · 17/05/2020 23:09

In all of the hospitals I’ve been in, I’ve never felt locked in* that should have said

DancingLady · 17/05/2020 23:14

Hi, I was in a mbu for over a month when my DD was 8 weeks old. I went voluntarily as my pnd was so bad I was worried I'd harm DD or myself. She's now nearly 10. It was a good place to be at the time (not enjoyable but great staff and care, visitors allowed, private room). If you're offered a place on a mbu and advised to take it, please do. It's a safe, non-judgemental place for you and your baby to be looked after and for you to get better.

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/05/2020 23:32

Don't try and avoid it. It might be just what you need. There shouldn't be any shame or stigma. Many many women struggle and it says nothing about who you are, or who you will be, as a mother.

Have they explored alternatives with you. MBU was pretty busy at the point I was on the edge. Then DH refused to take time off work to support me (hence why he is an ex) but my mum was able to take special leave from work to spend a couple of weeks with me and they decided that would be a good thing to try instead .

Please no feelings of shame. Some of the most wonderful mothers I know have battled or are battling this.

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/05/2020 23:36

I have had PND after a longed for baby. It isn't surprising at all. You have already had to be so strong for so long by the time the baby gets there. It's no wonder it takes a toll.

But it is no reflection on who you will be as a parent. I didn't feel love for my daughter at first, just numbness. But the falling in love with her happened as I gradually got better. And now love her so much it is impossible to believe that I ever worried I wouldn't.

Wolfgirrl · 18/05/2020 01:04

Yes I have, I came home in January. Is there anything in particular you want to know?

Please don't be scared I had a really positive experience in the MBU - I left feeling almost 'purged' and I can honestly say it probably saved my life

Original poster

Someone1987 · 18/05/2020 20:39

Wow, thank you all so much for your comments. You have all been so kind, supportive and non - judgemental.

I don't know what to do. I'm worried it'll unsettle my son, my anxiety is so bad, I feel like it'd get worse in there. But at the same time, I'm at the point where I have a suicide plan and I am fighting hard not to do anything. I told her today that it is hard to section people and she agreed.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 18/05/2020 20:41

@Wolfgirrl thank you, what are the staff like? And the other mums? I'm concerned with lockdown and the social distancing it would be a case of sitting alone in the room. Also, if you go in voluntarily but feel suicidal, if you ask to leave what would they do? I'm sorry if any questions are triggering for you. I would be so grateful for a reply. Thank you.

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Original poster

Someone1987 · 18/05/2020 20:45

@NeverTwerkNaked I'm sorry you have had it too, you have described it perfectly. You breathe a sigh of relief when they are here, but the journey has already taken its toll. I tried for 7 years, two miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy that lost me a tube. This was my Metformin one tube miracle baby. Which makes it so hard because I didn't feel anything for him. I get scared our bond has gone and it's too late to get it back. I've let him down so much, he isn't going anywhere. So I feel I have to. I hate feeling like that and wouldn't do anything but everyday is hell. Thank you for sharing your experience, I am glad you and your daughter are close and connected.

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