FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

cunty I would have tried to claim that about cos following our meet up, only I'm well aware she's way out of my league.

Yes - I exist and so does cunty thankfully she didn't turn out to be a trucker called Dave.... And she has real life baybee who is totally gorgeous. v. much enjoyed meeting both - cunts is v lovely and gets the igg seal of approval

she also appears to have done voodoo magic on my baybee who has been good ever since

Those of you who have done the NCT, well I have signed my life away enrolled and it ain't cheap and believe it or not the classes are held at the lady's house! Is this normale?

We haz new recrootz in the Deli!! Come visit !

rots I haz fb'd ya!!!

silver yes, is normal! I hope you get a good course leader and people. I really loved mine and the people are great, we meet up a lot.

New recruits you say?! Must look!

yes, agree is normal silver.

FP I am so not out of your league, you is sexy laydee

So glad you two had a nice meeting - that's because the ESHes are fabulous, n'est-ce pas?

cunty About your swimming - was it just you and Rastus? There's a mum & baby group tomorrow at the pool which I want to go to. I've been to the pool before and there's a changing area for the babies right next to the pool with mats and the mums leave the bags/towels there - OK, so that's no problem. But how does mummy get dressed if she's holding the baybee?

I nearly got bucked off yesterday. :( I was in a foul mood because someone had "taken" my farrier stool and 'twas 'spensive - I asked and someone said that they were asking whose it was - when I enquired exactly as to whom was asking - she said she "couldn't remember". Anyway, my foul mood transferred to Ginger who was a massive pita - thankfully only one as I wasn't paying attention and was nearly thrown on to her neck - two and I'd have been out the door. No witnesses though - and if nobody sees then it didn't happen right? Wouldn't been the first time I'd hit the deck in over 5 years. Famous last words obv.

Are any of you lentil-weavers other than rots and I using washables? If yay, how are you getting on with them? Now that I've been told a way to get them to fit Bear's miniscule bum they're brilliant.

I bought a new printer last week - have already thrown away the CD with the drivers on. Still 2 laptops to install the printer on - what a cockhead - am downloading stuff now.

Sorry silvia. Replied!

Comma's just filling his nappy in a true bloke-like way. Yep, completed and he's grinned at me to say, "fix that one, momma".

ski well Hom was there too, but they had family changing cubicles with a 'babbyholder' in (you know, one of those table things with the dip in the middle) so he's safe whilst we got changed

Oooh yes, I'd seen family rooms but never actually checked one out - it probably does indeed have a baybee holder.

at cossie thinking I'm sexy! Must have a thing for older women.

I got a bit down last night over Clyde's insatiable appetite. I feel like it's a growth spurt that just won't stop. I am thinking of starting mixed feeding to free myself up. I just can't express enough to keep up with his need for more.

I managed to exclusively BF my PFB Bonnie for 6 months but frankly I just don't have the energy this time around. Does this make Clyde the NSC?

No indeed fanfare, with the first you have the time. With the second you don't. Elementary my dear priceless

A bit late but Cheggs the yellow sub Maclaren is nothing compared to this

Glad all is well in the Spa. Sorry to hear about the screamer Iggs hope cunty did some voodoo magic. My PFB has just returned from holiday and for the entire 5 days refused to eat anything other than yoghurt, chips, bacon and fruit. What is all that about? Would like to go back to a milk only diet - now seems less stressful.

9 weeks to go, 9 weeks to go...

Swimming is fab for babbies, but has always been the domain of OH in this household, as I shrivel up and melt on contact with water, in the manner of the Wicked Witch of the West. I do occasionally get into water, but only if it is warm enough to be a bath, or has a bar in it you can swim to and buy cocktails, or has excitingly fast slides in it. (Fortunately DD is a speed demon and likes our local baths with slide.) When she was tiny OH used to get in the pool with her, and I used to be ready to get her when she got out and I dried and dressed her asap and they gave her a feed. This all worked to guarantee an afternoon of sleep .

Ski bucked off = bad for stomach after CS! Caaaaaareful! Find the theiving bastard instead and take it out on them instead of poor Ginger! Last time I was bucked off was about a week after I had had a letter in H&H singing the praises of big horse. He had clearly read the letter and decided to humiliate me in front of the entire Boxing Day hunt. I don't do being bucked off.

Horse gals/shoppers - is it wrong to crave a Joules Burghley polo shirt? Am I just a hop, skip & flying change away from becoming a Bodem mummy?

ski Tragically my daily 'uniform' now seems to consist of jeans, converse, and polo shirt. I always used to inwardly point and laugh at the Joules crowd, but I know I am just skirting the issue and it's only a matter of time. One day soon I suspect that logo is going to mysteriously arrive in my wardrobe. We can support each other in our tragicness, no?

some of their kids clothes are quite lush

Clucky wears Joules stuff all the time. I am too tight to pay for Joules, so I buy the copy stuff from Rydals and the Yorkshire Clothing Company. You probably haven't come across those out in NL, Ski - it is Joules for tight Yorkshire lasses who have no truck with labels.

OMG boxy! Are you me?

boxer I like cheapskate! But... I want a Burghley top - to offend my Dutch dressage pals - trouble is, it's about double what I'd want to pay for a blinkin' polo shirt. I'm off to google the Yorkshire place now.

My yard is small enough to mostly avoid the bitching (and I can play dumb and pretend I don't understand) - but there's always tears from one particular girl. She's lovely, she's gorgeous (and doesn't realise it) - but she's one of those who really needs to get a life outside of the yard... you know, meet a boy or something. :(

I am taking up cossie's ebay prowess whilst she's busy nesting. Winter wardrobe for me & Bear for 100 quid? Yes please. It makes me puke when I think of how much I pay in shops. I am officially a tight git.

I had a headhunter phone 4 times yesterday and email me... in the end I emailed and said I'd phone back today. What to do? I suppose I ought to chat with him - but I'm comfy at my current firm. They're fuckers, but they can't fire me without giving me a hideous amount of cash. But I think there may be some voluntary redundancy thing going on. It would mean uprooting the entire family though (incl. nag). Will talk to him. And I want to take ML again next year...

Ski I haz job trauma too. But not in same vein as you. Life can be tres complicated can't it! I was headhunted a couple o months ago but alas being preggers I couldn't pursue.

Yes it can. :( I don't want to stay in this part of the country "forever" - I mean it's a lovely place and all - but the career opportunities are limited. Moving would be expensive (isn't it always?), rent would be more, livery would be more - on the other hand - in the North I'd get to ride on the beaches and there are more competitions of which I'm attracted to. Cannot be arsed to horsebox it up for a 4 minute dressage test!

What's your job dilemma?

Feck Arse. I thought I was on a roll. 3 hours for baby fed, changed, clothed (likewise for me). Baby bag packed, mummy bag packed and to the pool for the session.

Check to all of above.

Abnormally greety baybee? Check.

Greety?

Rushing off for day out with MIL but checking in to say I've managed 15 sit ups on sit up machine thing but can't find any trousers to fit. No, they're all too small. Shrunk in the wash I suppose. Wandering around house in bra, knickers and (for extra comedy effect) spotty socks. I'm thinking of calling OK! magazine for a photo shoot. .

Greeting is the Glaswegian for crying.

It went brilliantly - no crying, no wailing - he seemed to really enjoy it so we'll be going back next week yay!

Bra, knickers & socks (if knee-high) is actually a much admired look - men love it!