FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

Back from north of Amsterdam before 1pm with a round trip of 500km. Dutch people who complain about traffic really need to spend a morning on the M25 and then stfu 4evah!

cunty Swimming sounds maaaaazing - hopefully we'll get there this week.

fanny I did not expect to put on weight post-partum. Was not part of deal. :(

rots You know we won't judge you if you say bad things and even think bad things about your baybee. I am very sorry that things are so difficult right now. Mebbe you need more gin?

Like curly I've read that Ibuprofen is a no-no for bfing - here, have a shit paracetamol and worship at the temple of martyrdom. From TTC through to when the child is 18 years old you're banned from the good stuff. No wonder women turn to drink.

Bear seems to have coped very well with his jags, temp was up a bit yesterday evening and we had a half hour of crying - then he slept for 6 hours. I got up at half three with him and he went back to sleep afterwards and his temp was down to 37.2. So I think we've survived - sans Calpol & sans gin!

switty The bog seat was from Xenos - I love that shop - fill a carrier with sparkly shit for 10 euros madame? Yes to the pls!

iggy I am glad things aren't as grim as they were coming across! As far as expressing goes - perhaps as she's mega-hungry right now it might be the perfect time? i.e., she's demanding more and you'll be pumping = supply all up rather than supply going down because you pump... Whaddino? I am selfish bottle feeding mama!

Pah, I hardly think 2 nurofen a day is going to dead my baybee. Besides he's as happy as a pig in shit, as am I. The nurofen made the rock-hardness go down and the pain cease and it hasn't come back so happen it was some sort of inflammation rather than the whole world coming to an end, as I may have given you to understand

We've been for a tatters in the sunshine and now I, too, am ready to start my diet. Have PACKED it on since he was born. Going to Slimfast for a few weeks, as it has the added advantage of not requiring any preparation and can be 'eaten' between yelling sessions on the hoof. Am also going to buy a treadmill for his-n-hers exercise regimes to prevent early demise. Can walk avec sling for max effect

cunty Have you tried upping the dose? If 2 = no dead baybee, how about more? Good news about the pain + swelling though. I spent 600 of your shiny pounds on a german x-trainer. Most expensive wardrobe I've ever had. :(

There was me this morning thinking "Lucky cunty, she'll be a wee slip of a thing now" - I had not realise appetite had returned. :(

Btw switty - Bear's feet are only just that big and that's at 11 lbs. When he was born they were smaller than my thumb.

ski I'm a fucking heffer. This situation must not be allowed to persist. I would have thought that with the amount rastus drains from me I'd be a waif, but that does not allow for my obsession with Dairy Crunch and giant chocolate buttons {sad] And nurofen, obviously. I'm only one step away from mainlining the stuff. Only the worry about what I'd do with my days prevents me from taking enough to kill the kid.

I'm on a liquid diet for 48 hours meh. :(

Looks like skater will be up to her old tricks and flinging the doors open an hour now. We could use some new PESH grads! I do wish they'd hurry up - ours will be at school before their waters break.

Giant chocolate buttons cunty? They sound divine. The problem with bf (I found) is that it lends itself only to eating on the fly. Eating things which don't stick/stain or spill. Ergo chocolate bars. No homemade lentil soup, no yoghurt. Chocolate bars.

Jailbait's just put the IT Crowd's "Work night out" on! The goodness, the badness, the Moss!

Anyone watch The Inbetweeners?

Thanks ski. I find that my patience is (not surprisingly) entirely linked to the amount of sleep I've had. LC goes back to school tomorrow so that will take a lot of pressure off. The school holidays have flown by and I felt I've really let him down by not spending enough time with him but I just need to really not feel bad about it (although I do of course).

Little Comma has thrown his entire stomach contents over me tonight, with force. It soaked my top, down inside between my boobs, down into my trousers and into my knickers. Just as LC was jumping into bed and demanding cuddles from Mummy. Daddy had to be good enough while Mummy stripped off and went into the shower. The glamour. I am guessing it was because of his jabs that he had today, poor bairn. He's been asleep pretty much ever since on Daddy's tummy.

I am really determined to give the no-dairy a good go (although I didn't resist the ice cream today - pathetic, isn't it). Hope that will help his reflux symptoms and generally make him happier.

Fast food is the problem, isn't it. Meaning, getting food fast. And easy to eat. I knitted a lentil soup (with organic carrots of course) the other day but some hippies came along and nicked it so I ate chocolate instead.

swit wow re knitting. Will try to find a ruler and measure Comma's foot for you. But, I would say a hat or cardigan would be more useful - socks and booties fall off I find so I use babygrows with feet (rather than footless rompers) and if he does need socks I use sock-ons.

I have a hand-knitted cardi which is beautiful and he looks sooo sweet. As for socks, he only wears them with "outfits" and he was in sleepsuits for the first x weeks anyway.

I knitted lentil soup last night, with tomatoes and a good dollop of extra hot garam masala. Nom Nom. No hippies were hurt during the making.

Soup in a sippy cup rots?

LC will look back on this summer as the year Comma came (if he remembers anything - do you remember school hols when you were 5?) - he won't think of it as the year mummy had no time. Anyway you've told us loads of things he's done with YOB as "boys" and you went camping too. Xmas hols will be easier! Comma will be starting to eat real food (lentil soup ) and he won't be so demanding of your attention. Back at school is good - he'll get stimulated outside the home - all you need to do is provide a fruit shoot, mars bar, gurn & cartoon upon his arrival home!

Don't beat yourself up about the ice-cream (likely he'd have puked anyway!) - at the same time life is too short. Nip in to the posh H town today and find a wanky up-its-own-arse organic knitted fairtrade lentil shop and fill your basket with soya ice-cream. Swipe YOB's creditcard without taking in the numbers. Eat ice-cream. As with washable nappies, trial and error will be the key and you will need to try more than one brand/flavour!

Weight excuse number 8736 - yesterday I discovered that medications for high blood pressure cause you to lard it on. 1 week of IV followed by 2 weeks of tablets must be the reason why I am heavier now than I was a day after he was born.

cunty the bf counsellor / midwife I had a bf session with said nurofen fine when bf and can help stop mastitis taking hold. also they gave me an anti inflmatory in hospital and told me that I can take nurofen when am home and is fine with bf. Maybe it would be the dose you would be on that worries your dr casp ?

I think I also checked on nhs website too...

ski keep meaning to try expressing, but haven't sterilized everything yet... You are right, coul be good time!

Iggs and I are meeting up today, barring any kid-related mither. We shall be comparing undercarriage woes and hopefully sending some diffness magic over to the Palais

Great news about nurofen iggs

ooh have lovely times cunty and iggy give yourselves a grope each from me!

Morning all. ski I think the Comma-sick was due to the vacs rather than the ice-cream (was not clear) but bad news from my friend who did the same thing (and it worked wonders) but apparently white tea and chocolate both count as "dairy" sources. On a positive note, it's a great method of contraception. I can't manage without tea and the concept of having another baybee and having to potentially not drink it is worse than none of the secks, not everrr.

Anyway, I'm gonna try it for a fortnight and see. But thanks for the support .

Woopie for the cunty and iggs meet!

LC started back at school today, then came home. mummy was still in bed when baby elephant feet noises came back in the door at 9.20. Frickin school had decided to "not open" today. Apparently a letter had gone out before the hols - either we missed it (with having Comma) or it came out on a Friday when ex collected him - we never get those letters .

Comma slept from 1am to 6am last night . Sadly Mummy didn't. I was worried about him having a temperature so I was keeping a close eye on that and adjusting his bedding (he wears a sleeping bag even in bed with us contrary to advice) and on top of that LC dropped his cup of water all over his bed, teddies, etc at about 2am. So while I wasn't dealing with one baybee, I was dealing with another. Knackered today therefore and also have a bit of a tummy upset.

However, the sun is shining, it looks like a fabulous day and I'm going to get out there and enjoy it until I crash and go to sleep this afternoon :)

BTW ski what do you mean about trying different nappies? You wouldn't catch me doing that . For the record, Modern Baby nappies are crap overnight. He's soaked through the outer wrap, his babygown, sleeping bag and left a large round wet patch on our bed. Oh well, it compliments the sick .

iggy/cunty Please to not be repeating undercarriage woes around sensitive eyes/ears (i.e., mine, cossie, vag etc)! We can't take it.

I'm more a "don't you (please do!) open that trap door - there's something down there" kinda gal.

You two do however deserve FESH medals for most prolonged pushing. Look, they're shaped like delicate little rosebuds just opening on a dewy summer morning.

rots No tea or chocolate? - seriously, all the more reason to go on a discovery mission!

Glad there is an ok for nurofen FESHs. Prob was my dose - shitloads day and night
Have fun together bigpusherscuntyandiggs!

Squeaks has oral thrush - just back from docs with the drops. Right now am quite glad to not be BFing.

rots I have to say I panicked when Googling suggested Squeaks's reflux could be dairy related. Me without cheese and choc? Mind you, there's very little of that on my diet. Hope the trial does nor drive you insane.

ski I'm was glad to hear that Bear reacted so well to his jabs. But hope you broke open the bottle anyway.
Computer keeps freezing this box so I am going to go now. Getting car this avo and early start for holiday tomorrow, so not sure when I will be back. Happy Friday all.

Hope there are some new FESHs soon...

em, it's not Friday, is it?

Why does it matter curls? One day v much like another...

It could be friday, I am losing track.

Wardrobe dilemma. Don't want to turn up to meet iggs looking my usual glamorous self in case she feels a bit inferior, yet I can't go looking like a tramp in case she thinks I'm a tramp. Normal clothes would perhaps mark me out as a Wimbledon Mummy. Tsk.

Mind, I don't know why I'm worrying, I don't think we'll get close enough to actually see each other on account of our collective mammaries

This is nice cunty : www.millets.co.uk/camping/tents/playtents/product/090669.html summery, water-resistant and has a jaunty look to it. Whaddya think?

iggy will (luck withstanding) be adorned with muddy dog paw-prints. Fear not for glamma.

cunty I have to wear lead lined boots for fear of taking off given the size of my overinflated tits... I will be dressing like a fat student, cos wardrobe is currently severely limited!

ski How has THAT been missing from my wardrobe all these years!!

Baby is in some kind of conspiracy... she has fallen asleep in the pram at home - which she never does... but now I have to wake her to put he in car etc. Ha ha!

iggs and I have met, I can confirm she exists (so you don't just have curlsworld's word for it), and is adorable of course as is her little piglet. So itchy titchy tiny!! Want one! We had a lovely couple of hours - well I did, I hope she did too - and I can now tell Hom I have A Friend. Last time I met up with someone from here (gin) I got accused of being in a lesbian relationship with her. I hope you can cope with the wild accusations coming your way iggpigg!!