FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

cunty Quite right. She clearly doesn't want to join us. Close the damn door. I'm sure she'll force it open if she needs to.

rots After Bonnie it was 10 mths, and I just plodded about on the quiet ponies a few times. But I had done lots of pilates by that stage and was fairly confident my pelvis was stable again. I'm under no illusions about galloping off into the sunset as I now have years of riding fitness to rebuild before I can attempt to ride 'properly' again.

As you can see I've not made it to the park yet. Expressing again now. And given the weather I think it's now going to be the indoor play barn instead.

I'm rather concerned about the return to the saddle now that big horse is not here. He coped marvelously with my wobbling around last time and looked after me very well. The racehorse is very placed, but I have never ridden him and he hasn't ever had to carry anyone over 9 stone before. I'm not sure how well he would cope with 12 stone of wobbly rider who hasn't even sat on a horse for over 6 months, and didn't do much more than amble along looking at the trees and the birds and the flowers for about 6 months before that! Otoh, he may just cart me off and show me how it's all done brilliantly. Who knows? Got to get the baby out before I can plan on hopping back in the saddle!

It's probably far too late now fanny (have been out for a ride :) ) - but Bear takes 150ml per feed (7 or so a day).

cunty Apparently she wants to come in but there are problems with Artie. Artie doesn't want to hang out with our kids... Poor cossie, she's such a slight woman - this baybee is going to be about 16lbs by the time it comes out! Talk about favourite pub burning down!

carrots Code P? Ah yes, that'll be when mummy's looking the other way holding his legs up at changing time and I'm reaching in to the cupboard for a nappy and I turn around and there's mountains of it. Everywhere. On him. On the changing mat. Up the walls. On me. Never for daddy - oh no!

boxer National Hunt yards take staff up to 16 stone so that when they get on the course it's "easy". Thoroughbreds are tougher than people think they are due to more dense bones. Seriously, don't worry about it - if nothing else, if he's feeling a little flighty it might slow him down until he's used to it! I've been riding now what? 10 days? No pain whatsoever anymore. :)

PLACID is what I meant to say, not placed. Aaargh - bizarre pregnancy symptome number 4932 - inability to type correctly. Is this because my fingers are too fat now?

Thanks for the reassurance, anyway Ski. I am very hopeful that this baby won't be so late I end up at 16 stone due to excess Dairy Milk consumption! He's not flighty at all - just a bit quick. And big horse was the kind you had to kick a bit to get to move anywhere, as well as being built like 2 sofas pushed together. Racehorse has withers like a razor blade.

About the BFing - DD has already figured out - and announced to anyone in Tesco who will listen - that she has boobies which are much smaller than mummy's because she doesn't have to keep milk in her's for the baybee. Just this last week or two she has taken to making quite surprising announcements at random, eg in the clothes shop; 'I don't need more clothes because Daddy says I have too many already.' And last night when I told her it was time for bath and bed; 'I can't have a bath because Daddy says there's no hot water.' Not all of her announcements are true, btw. However, 'Daddy says a bird has made a nest on my head' is probably quite close to what OH might have said while trying to brush her hair .

Anyway. We all know Cos is working hard on the positive thinking method of getting a baby out. Isn't there anyone else around here we should be blaming the draft on too? She is a queue jumper of great experience! I think that all Cos needs is for a little bit of unseemly jostling and she'll be on her way.

Oh you know what it's like around the PESH girls - like buses they are! They fall pregnant in the same week and then all lay in the same week. cossie/VAG/skater/you will all end up laying in the same week providing great excitement for the rest of us!

Nah, I don't want to be here, i've decided the outside world is too scary for Artie, so in s/he stays

had to deal with a code P change on the front passenger seat of car today, while this stiff breeze was blowing right up Squeaker's jacksie and repeatedly slamming the door such that my shins took a battering on the door frame. Not Fun.

On the happy side, I appear to have secured the purchase of a nice Beamer. well chuffed.

cossie Quite right. Best you think of the children and keep him in there.

SFF has not disagreed with me once today. He's still a twat though, even if a remorseful one. I suppose he had to have a proper reminder of how life has changed. Job done.

curls don't even get me started on the man hate campaign. Tho I did get an apology and the promise to be more considerate in future. Oh and I came home to find downstairs hoovered.

cossie I can't believe the lengths you're going to making sure that Artie isn't the youngest in class. :(

curly I loved my beamer, although in retrospect I wouldn't advise anyone living in a sub-alpine climate to buy one. Rear-wheel drive ain't much fun when you've got snow for 5 months. :( A horrible experience and I went off road and landed in a bog snapping some big metal spring thing . But a nice car granted.

We have been acting like children and broken the loo seat - we were messing around seeing who could get to the loo first, he lifted it as I sat down to try and "win" and it fell off its hinges. Yes, I am approaching 40!

got to keep young ski

I'm hoping we won't have snow of that sort here. I have been in love with Beamers since I was about 10, so this is kind of fulfilling a lifelong ambition - as if having a baybee isn't enough!

Diet went astray over weekend, must go and plan a healthier week.

We are planning to go swimming today

good luck! we keep saying we'll go and never make it. looking forward to hearing about your experiences.

ruby hope the dip goes well.

I am getting more emotional as the weeks go on. This morning's tears were firstly horse related and the second set cos Him Indoors laughed at my BRidget Jones' and commented good job it's not a fashion competition. Cue lots of tears and a red blotchy face.

at ski and Jailbait!

We were having a lovely morning untl Clyde vomited a river while I was feeding him. I had a muslin to hand but for some reason grabbed MrP's favourite Captain Haddock t-shirt for vomit duty instead.

Yesterday leaving Clyde at home went OK. I was out for 3 hours. MrP gave him one bottle then he went to sleep and (quote) 'I got all the ironing done!'

(Unspoken implication: in all the days you've had Clyde you've never done the ironing.
Unspoken response: well they're not my shirts.)

Meanwhile I was having my new patented Mummy Workout (TM) tearing around the playbarn with Bonnie. OMG - do that twice a week and I'll soon be in shape!

We are back from the health visitor all jabbed up - he screamed then fell asleep. On the way home I bought a bottle of margerita - tonight could be a long night. Although right now he's grinning and gurgling at his daddy so it's all good so far!

4.88kg which is 10 lbs 12 oz in old money so am very pleased with that. That's at 8.5 weeks, my sister was born at more than that and she was 3 weeks early!

I'm planning swimming on weds I think - am really looking forward to it. Note to self: water in the kiddy pool "tastes" funky.

iggy Very sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time (fb) - although it's great that your husband is getting her out at night to give you a break! :)

We've bought a new loo seat - it's one of those novelty ones with a picture of a fresian cow on it. I likes it - but I doubt I'll be gracing the cover of Homes & Gardens any time soon. Do Boden do loo seats?

curly Jailbait declared yesterday he was going on a diet, then as I was leaving the house, pressed a tenner in to my hand and said "it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you were to come home with a Big King XXL and a portion of chill cheese nuggets". I trust you're doing better than him!

I'm off to see a surgeon tomorrow about getting my gastric band tightened - yes, I haz a Fern Britton band which I got loosened 2 years ago. Now it's time to get it tightened again.

it does seem that Comma's unsettledness coincides with him being more sicky. Starting V strict no-milk (other than in tea - can't give that up yet) diet to see if it helps.

Bad night, awake from 3am. Baby throwing up a lot, etc. Bedding changed and in wash. Thank goodness for bed protector. Dressing gown this morning horrifically yucky. LC in bed with us at 5am with a nightmare. How come it's two children, two parents and only mummy will frickin do at 5am? LC, "I want a CUDDLE! I had a bad DREAAAAM". Comma, "WAAHHHH I want BOOBIES I think but I don't KNOOOOOOW".

YOB did his best and walked grooves into the floor with Comma for several hours. I'm torn between SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING NOISY FUCKING LITTLE THING (if I'm quite honest) and utter desperation to work out what's wrong as my heartstrings are pulled to their limit with worry about my darling baby who obviously is really unhappy about something.

:( :(

A friend offered to take LC sailing today so I'm off to the sailing club while YOB finished VAT for the month end. Nice to get some fresh air and we're deciding whether to join the club to take our Enterprise there so will see how I get on with people. I know there are several women there with babies and I've seen one of them BF so at least I'm happy that I won't get any grief from the blokes!

Swimming was ace Rastus was a bit confuddled at the lack of visible sides to the water, like there is in his bath, but didn't cry or whinge at all, and daddy had him held tight the whole time so he relaxed in the end. Now I feel confident to take him on my own which is great.

On the down side, my left boob is so thrush-riddled and solid as a boulder that I can't even touch it. Managed to express out of it for 20 mins which relieved the pressure but not the pain or misery. Dead worried I'm going to end up with mastitis because I think it's blocking some ducts. Typically, the fucking workshy GPs isn't open today , so I'll have to see if I can get an appt within the next fortnight by phoning tomorrow

ski Is the margerita to help you or Bear to sleep? Excellent weight too! (Bear, not you.)

rots I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope the sailing club was fun.

cunty So sorry about the thrush. That is such crap. Please get really stroppy with the GP receptionist and insist it's an emergency appointment situation. Also please arm yourself with info about BF thrush treatment so you get a decent prescription. Let me know if you need links. And please keep feeding / pumping from that breast or the pain will get worse.

Nurofen is my best friend!

ski x-post

cunty wot fanny said and demand (ie chain yourself to the railings) fluconazole. Miracle drug. Higher loading dose then 100Mg per day.

Print, read and take this:

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/BfN_Thrush_leaflet_Feb_2009.pdf

note: no GP I've seen so far knew this stuff so please do read it carefully. It's not licensed for BF women for instance yet the amount found in BM is much less than it's licensed to be given to babies - you need this info to counter them if they say it's not licensed.

It's an emergency because its regarding baby feeding which is always counted as an emergency. Fluconazole will take a few days to start to work but it is absolutely needed as topical creams will not fix it if it's in your milk ducts. But be assured it WILL get better and quickly, hell as it is at the time.

Sure its not mastitis? Either way I also recommend taking acidophillus. It will help shift thrush and also if you have to take antibiotics for mastitis it will help to protect you from thrush being triggered by them.

Good day today after hellish night. LC had a great time sailing and I enjoyed chatting with random people. Nice weather - all good.

Hello all!

I have been flummoxed by an unknoweable enigma, which I think you peshes might be just the people to help me solve. I need to know: how big is a baby's foot? Vague enough for ya? Thing is: I've gone back to knitting again and made (if I do say it myself) the most adorable bootie ever last night! Even boyfy remarked (unprompted) on its cuteness (and this would not be typical). Now: thing is - the person who designed the pattern doesn't really know what age babies it would fit and it does look rather tiny. I intended this pair for a friend of mine whose baby is now 6 weeks old. The bootie is 8cm long down the sole and 4cm wide in the middle of the sole. Is there a chance this will fit or is is too small already (in which case, I'll keep and make her a bigger pair!). What do you reckon?!

Hope you can help me figure this out. I am a bit worried about myself - I dreamed last night that I temporarily abducted a small unwatched baby at a party in order to try the bootie on him.

Anyhoo: FP I loved your unspoken ironing exchange with MrP. I too have such coded and heavily loaded interactions some times. The captain Haddock T-shirt does sound kinda cool - hope it survives.

Ski I also got a new toilet seat! Cosmic connection! I didn't get such a fancy one as you (though a friend has what I reckon is the same one as yours and it is pretty cool) but all we really wanted was one that wouldn't sneakily slide off its hinges every time you sat on it... How did I put up with that for so long? Anyway, happy days.

Carrots - good to see you back! Can't believe you camped! Sorry to hear about the crying bouts of little comma. He is lucky to have such a patient and willing mum to get him through it. It must be very hard times though.

Cunty - ouch! The thrush sounds like hell. I just hope you can get the drucks to knock it on the head asap.

ski don't worry am not hving that hard a time! We have good nights and bad nights, good days and bad days.... I think my sleep deprived attemps at humour on fb are worrying people! Piglet is a bit screamy, but yesterday from about 8pm she was amazing... So we had dinner together (me and bloke, I mean!) and everyone had a good nights sleep. Is v confusing cos she sometimes is v fussy and noisy, then othertimes is just how you want her, telling you when she hungry etc, but no inconsolable crying! She is currently snoozing next to me.

She seems starving tho.... Am guessing growth spurt??

Gonna try expressing this week... I bought pump and bottles... But am wondering if is bad time with all her extra feeding...

switty no idea about foot sizes! But am impressed you knitted!

rots you have much sympathy from me, but am also feeling bad about complaining cos it really isn't that bad for me. Piglet has not vommed in her life so far, although this surely must change at some point! I just have the noise... The inconsolable noise!

cunts I hope you get your appt ok. Sounds painy....

cunty sure is not a problem, and we all have different approaches to rules, but just wanted to mention that rheumatologist told me not to go back on ibuprofen while BFing because it's toxic to baby. might have been because i'd be taking so much, every day, but is worth a mention. clearly, i would not want you to be in agony! hope you can get sorted.

rots hope you can find the solution too. Poor wee Comma.

sounds like a growth spurt iggs. is nice when they finish...
Squeaks coughed so hard she vommed all over the bed and me this morning. Yuk. She nearly managed another sleep-through but was woken at 5am by the urge to do the biggest, stinkiest poo yet. Poor girl. Poor mummy's nostrils

got to try to pack for a long car journey and week away. any tips anyone?

curls sometimes I think the smell could dissolve one's septum more effectively than cocaine ever could. I've just had one delivered whilst I was trying to eat my breakfast - feel a bit sick